[Magos' Manufactorum]
Sometimes, I feel like I'm more of a supervillain rather than a rogue. And now was certainly one of those times.
Sitting on my cogitator-throne with the sounds of worshipful mass-fabrication ringing and thundering all around me, my red-robed frame sat conversing with a shadowy figure through one of the floating hololithic panes. The communications shrouded by the eddies of the Warp itself- absolutely impossible to be intercepted and decrypted. Such measures was only appropriate seeing as this was my most morally-dubious dealing yet, and over the most serious of subjects as well: Lolis.
"It is done." Coil's distorted voice calmly announced- his entire head obscured by his skintight black costume with its silver snake design. "I can assure you that the state's elected representatives have all been sufficiently… convinced to vote in favour of repealing that silly little law. I have stumbled upon some… home videos of their change of heart."
This was the definition of terrorism. But sometimes, you need to break a few eggs to make an underaged-looking omelette.
"There is no need." I reassured him, "I understand to some extent what it's like to be that way. To crave something so badly that your very soul aches for it. But alas, I cannot give you what you want, for that would be illegal- at the moment. But if the law was to be repealed in the hearing a couple of months from now? Who can say how I will price that?"
"Price?" Coil parroted- the frown audible in his voice. "But those politicians have seen the wisdom of lolis."
"Of course, they have." I nodded knowingly, "But like I said during our last conversation, it is only when the elected representatives have been convinced of this particular wisdom can we even begin this talk. I did not promise anything more than that. Besides, a few frightened politicians aren't worth a real, walking, talking, and smiling Abigail Williams, wouldn't you say?"
Coil visibly shivered in the camera- the thought of being able to converse, touch and molest one's waifu in real life was an impossible thing to resist.
"Instead, I would like to propose a hypothetical exchange."
"Oh, and what can you hypothetically offer me?" Coil hummed- resting his mouth on steepled gloved fingers.
"Summer is still six months away, did you know?" I hinted to him- the smug smile audible in my voice even without lips for me to smile with. And at those words, Coil visibly stiffened, and I knew that I had his undivided attention.
"The unreleased Swimsuit Abigail merchandise." He whispered in much the same way as one would whisper the secret location of the Holy Grail.
"Indeed." I whispered back with relish, "12 different dakimakura pillows, three gigabytes of promotional images, several crates of figurines and perhaps even a pair of very much still illegal Abigail love doll prototypes with all the… attachments. All to be disposed of as per state law about loli material. Such a pity."
"What do you want?" Coil asked- his voice-distortion unable to hide how much he was salivating at what was being offered.
"Many things, mostly different types of AIs and gynoids." I shared with a knowing nod, "However, the team that was travelling around the state…"
"They're not for sale." Coil refused before adding, "Unfortunately."
"I know, I know." I calmly reassured him, but I had a feeling that if I had offered a real Abigail gynoid, he would have tossed them at me. Not that I wanted fragile fleshbags breathing the holy incense of my manufactorum. No, I had a different thing in mind for the Undersiders, and I told Coil as such, "I was only asking for their employment in ten jobs."
"Four." Coil haggled immediately, and I was pleased to see that he found my offer sound in principle, now we were just haggling the price.
"Eight."
"Five, and I throw in their bodyguards."
"Very well… Five jobs along with the extras." I conceded before absentmindedly appending. "Hypothetically, of course."
If I had a face, I would be smiling maliciously right now. Oh, Lisa is going to be absolutely livid at being sent on five possibly life-threatening missions all in exchange for some Abigail merchandise. High quality and top shelf Abigail merch, but merch all the same. It doesn't bother me. But for now, Coil's payment.
Chanting logistics schedule for Mechanicus-chartered meatbag truckers.
And within a fraction of a nanosecond, I had the information I needed.
"On a completely unrelated note…" I began- Coil already having a pen and paper ready, "It would be a shame if the contents of shipping container #0446 carried by the eighteen-wheeler with the license plate KVL-1167 went missing on its 4 o'clock journey along Route 93 tomorrow. I hear the trucker assigned has a weak bladder and regularly stops at the first rest stop available on the highway."
"Yes, it would be a shame if its contents were lost." Coil agreed with me- in an airy tone. Already dreaming of all the merch.
"Thank you for dropping by on this social call to let me know about those unfortunate accidents." I tutted. "A pity that we were restricted with hypotheticals and that we couldn't do any real business."
"Magos." Coil nodded.
"Coil." I nodded in return.
Warp-shrouded communique terminated.
And just like that the call ended.
I was going to be filthy rich by the time that law was repealed, and even richer afterwards. If people wanted to fixate on small underdeveloped humans, then I should at least be able to charge them for it. There was no end to my growing influence over the world!
I am Magos, the Defeater of Behemoth and Earth-Bet's largest blackmarket supplier of illegal loli love dolls. Fear me!
(A few minutes later)
100 CP Granted
End-Node User Points Balance: 3,000 CP
Purchasing further Libraries from the Celestial Forge requires ritual prayer.
"A nice round number." I commented as I noted that my plan was working nicely.
Contessa's Path to Victory, the Simurgh's human rube-goldberg events, Coil's timeline splitting, and Accord's agendas… I respected the immense influence that those powers can bestow, and that's why I was hoarding points.
Once I realised that my Warp-based Lootboxes were enough to meddle with the accuracy of Thinkers, I inferred that the Celestial Forge must be conferring a different level of obfuscation.
After all, if the Thinkers' Shards are unable to properly account for what's happening beyond the veil of realspace, how much more for technology arriving from beyond the multiverse? And so, just as I had derailed the Worm timeline with my mere presence, the Celestial Forge were also derailing their calculations.
I was going to abuse that for all its worth.
It was only a matter of purchase size. A small purchase? They'll path around the mound of new information I just made and adapt like nothing happened… A medium-sized one? It will be a minor detour and cost them time and resources, but a path around was still possible… But a big enough disturbance at the right moment? Everyone else's carefully laid plans will come tumbling down as a mountain range of information suddenly appears in their paths, and it will only get wider, taller and more treacherous as time goes on.
Besides… I already had my hands full researching the [Plecian Tome, almost the entire sum of the Emprah's technological knowledge was contained within, even with my mind hooked up to a sanctified choir of cogitators, there was still more and more schematics to decode.