"Haven't we met before?"
Artoria, seated in her office, studied the red-haired beauty with curiosity. Isn't that the gene collector— ahem—Black Widow? Why was she applying to be my secretary? Has S.H.I.E.L.D. noticed my little side hustle?
"If we've met, it must have been a beautiful memory."
As expected of a top-tier Special Agent, Natasha replied calmly, her expression unchanging, completely ignoring the fact she'd been caught planting a bug. In truth, she was rather embarrassed; after the bug incident she'd thought she'd be reassigned to another mission. She hadn't expected to run into another Stark so soon, though this beat scouring the desert for a playboy. She was an Special Agent, but also a woman; a few days in the sand would wreck her delicate skin.
Luckily she'd landed this gig; let the desert go to good old Phil. A man could afford to tan. Natasha assigned the lousy detail to her colleague without the slightest guilt.
"May I ask what your specialties are, Miss?"
Artoria merely smiled at Natasha's stubbornness. If she ever admitted anything, pigs would fly. Might as well go through the motions; she wouldn't be here long once Tony returned and dealt with the bald man. The birth of Iron Man would herald the world's greatest crisis, and S.H.I.E.L.D. would be so desperate they'd probably put a dog on the payroll.
"Proficient in all kinds of…"
While Artoria lounged in her air-conditioned office, Tony's situation looked grim. Waking to find a hole in his chest and an Arc Reactor battery was crushing. No cheeseburger, and on top of that a beating from these brutes—when had he ever suffered such indignity?
"What's wrong, Tony?"
Noticing Tony's ashen face, Yinsen—whose life now depended entirely on Tony's—felt a stab of panic.
"Nothing. Who are they?"
"I'm not sure; they abducted me too."
"What do they want?"
"You forgetting what your family does for a living?"
Yinsen's retort startled Tony; the genius instantly realized someone was after his weapons. Before they could talk further, Terrorists burst in, showing Tony their cruelty and their love for his creations. The mountain of ordnance shocked him—didn't these idiots know stockpiling arms under the Sun risked an explosion?
On the bright side, he hatched a brilliant escape plan and agreed to cooperate on weapon development.
"Hang on, little sister. I'll stand before you safe and sound."
Tony handed the yokels a list of materials they couldn't decipher and set about building a mini Arc Reactor to ditch the cumbersome battery. Thinking of his beloved sister, his will to survive surged; he might not have to wait much longer.
A handsome blond man in a white haori, blue eyes and sunny grin strolled into the desert. Any Naruto fan would scream "Mini Yellow Flash"—no, the Fourth Hokage! In truth it was Artoria's clone; she'd just drawn the Transformation Jutsu. With Mystique-like powers, infiltration and tailing were child's play.
Now, wearing Minato Namikaze's face, no one could connect the deed to Artoria. The clone hadn't come to rescue Tony directly but to save the poor physicist Yinsen and leave a satellite phone so they could help themselves. Thus Tony would be tempered, the Iron Man Suit born, innocents spared, and a movie regret mended.
Thanks to the timely "Transformation Jutsu," Artoria could cosplay characters from other worlds without shame; even if they minded, they couldn't cross worlds to hassle her. So, unabashed, she strode out as the Fourth Hokage—saving lives and, well, flirting… ahem, forget that part.