I didn't expect to see you cry.
you weren't the kind of girl who cried in public.
you always laughed things off,
brushed pain under your witty jokes,
hid sorrow behind your sarcasm.
but that night,
your eyes were swollen,
and your voice cracked when you told me—
"he cheated on me."
and fuck,
I didn't know what to do.
my hands wanted to reach for yours.
my arms begged me to pull you close.
but I had girlfriend.
and you weren't mine.
you never were.
so I stood there—awkward, quiet, dying inside.
the silence between us was louder
than the traffic nearby.
I didn't say "I'm sorry."
I didn't say "you deserve better."
because I didn't want to hear what would come next.
instead, I said,
"c'mon. let's get something cold."
I drove you to a 24/7 mini market.
I remember the sky was black velvet,
full of stars that didn't mean anything.
we didn't speak on the way.
you wiped your tears quietly,
looking out the window like you were erasing yourself.
inside,
under fluorescent lights and aisles of nothing,
I grabbed an Oreo ice cream.
your favorite.
I gave it to you like it was medicine.
you took it like a child,
like you were trying so hard not to fall apart.
I didn't ask more.
didn't press questions.
didn't offer comfort I wasn't brave enough to give.
and I,
I hated myself.
because I wanted to be the reason you smiled again—
not the guy who just stood beside you
when someone else broke your heart.
when we sat at the curb and ate in silence,
you looked at me and said,
"thanks, Grey."
god.
your voice.
so soft. so damn tired.
and I remember thinking:
I will never forget this night.
the sound of your spoon scraping the plastic cup.
the way you looked up with puffy eyes.
the way you still smiled, even in pieces.
but I also knew
that I wouldn't do anything more.
I was a coward.
a man with love in his chest
and lies on his tongue.
and you were—
everything.
you were the kind of girl
who'd cry once and never again.
who'd fall in love, and mean it with your whole soul.
who'd eat ice cream with swollen eyes
and thank the boy
who should've held you,
but didn't.
and me?
I was just the friend.
the driver.
the ice-cream buyer.
the secret-keeper.
the fucking coward.