"L-Lies!" Xiaoyue Zhenhun jumped down from the ceiling, clutching the notebook tightly with one hand. "Lady TeRiRi would never be friends with a bad aunt who steals from children!"
"Bad auntie?!!!"
Theresa froze. She knew she wasn't young anymore, but hearing a child say it out loud made her heart stop for a moment.
"TeRiRi is the embodiment of honesty, elegance, and courage—the perfect, flawless person! Her beauty is beyond what mortals like you can even behold!"
Xiaoyue Zhenhun looked starry-eyed, practically glowing pink with admiration.
"Insolent one! Let me show you the greatness of Lady TeRiRi!"
She opened the notebook.
"W-Wait! Stop! Stop!!" Theresa sensed danger and tried to stop her—but it was too late.
"I am the world's cutest magical girl, TeRiRi! Savior of this world! Transcendent light! You monsters face only destruction—burn in the blazing star magic of TeRiRi!"
"Shut up! Stop reading it!!!"
Theresa rolled on the floor in utter collapse, shaking her head like the sky had fallen.
Not just the Theresa in the video—the real Theresa watching it reacted exactly the same way, unable to believe that was her.
Everyone watching burst out laughing.
"So Auntie, you're not just a Valkyrie—you're also a magical girl? Pfft—" Kiana teased, laughing uncontrollably.
"I… I need to hold it in—pff—" Mei tried not to laugh, but failed.
Himeko? She was howling with laughter.
Tesla: Theresa, I'm curious about combining science and magical-girl power—pfft.
Rita: Lady Theresa, TeRiRi is very cute~
Amber: So this is the kind of person you are.
Between real-world teasing and chat spam, Theresa felt like the world might as well end.
Pointing at the screen, she shouted, "That person is NOT me!"
She trembled with rage and embarrassment. Maybe decades ago she liked magical-girl stuff—but now? Absolutely not! She'd never write a "TeRiRi secrets" notebook!
"Auntie, no need to explain. I get it," Kiana said with a thumbs-up.
"Get WHAT?!" Theresa's face turned bright red. She was 100% sure that wasn't her—but whether others believed it was another matter.
Everyone has a cringey past. No one wants to admit it.
And when you're older? The embarrassment hits even harder.
Back in the video, Xiaoyue kept chanting from the notebook:
"Here I release my victorious record—Oath of Judah—"
"That's enough! You forced my hand!"
Theresa pulled out a pink magic wand and began chanting:
"O staff that seals the darkness, reveal your true power!"
Pink light filled the room. Xiaoyue stared in shock.
"Miracle power becomes stars, light magic gathers in my heart—Dimension Sonata!"
A holy glow covered Theresa. When it faded, she wore a cute pink princess dress, bunny ears, and a bunny tail.
"Teri-Teri~!"
She struck a cutesy pose—no sign she was almost fifty.
"Waaah!" Xiaoyue trembled with excitement. "It's… it's… TeRiRi—!"
But before she could finish…
The door opened.
"Big Sister Theresa, there's a white-haired lady looking for you…"
Before Judas could finish, a familiar figure walked in.
"Auntie, I'm here for the snack box!"
It was Kiana.
She froze at the sight of magical-girl Theresa.
"…Who are you?"
"TeRiRi! TeRiRi!" Xiaoyue shouted excitedly.
Kiana's eyes lit up. "Y-You're Magical Girl TeRiRi?!"
"SHUT UP!!!"
Caught by her niece, Theresa's shame exploded. Rationality gone, she decided: if there are no witnesses, no one will know.
She swung the wand.
WHAM.
Kiana spun through the air and collapsed unconscious with a huge bump on her head.
"Ahaha… Kiana, when did you get here? There was a mosquito on your face—I just slapped it."
Xiaoyue and Judas stared in horror.
The door opened again.
"Principal, I think I left my game console here…" Bronya entered.
"Oh? You're the mag—"
A laser shot her in the chest. She looked down blankly, then burst into flames and turned to charcoal.
"Ahaha… Bronya, there was a loose thread on your clothes. I burned it off."
"Lady Theresa, the tea party is about to start…" Rita opened the door—
Bam. Rita down.
"Principal, I made dumplings, want some…" Fu Hua opened the door—
Bam. Fu Hua down.
"Principal, did Kiana sneak snacks here again…" Mei opened—
Bam. Mei down.
"My dear granddaughter, want to go out with Grandpa…" Otto opened—
Bam. Otto down.
…
One after another, visitors arrived—and were taken out by an enraged Theresa.
Soon, a literal pile of bodies stacked by the door.
"W-We need to get out of here…" Xiaoyue and Judas whispered in terror.
From the darkness, a hand reached out, grabbed Judas, and dragged her away.
Xiaoyue screamed.
Behind her stood Theresa—face splattered with green blood, eyes glowing pink, staring down like a demon.
"Teri… Teri…"
Her voice sounded like a vengeful spirit.
"AAAAAHHH!!!"
The video ended.
Back in the dorm, everyone slowly turned to look at Theresa.
Who knew the childish Theresa could be this ruthless?
They'd all seen her "secret"… would she silence them too?
Also… her social circle was weird. Some of those visitors weren't even human.
"Is Homu actually a real creature?!" Bronya's eyes sparkled.
"That… wasn't me," Theresa insisted.
"Auntie, you hit really hard," Kiana complained. "My face still hurts."
"That wasn't me!"
"Magical girl… nostalgic name," Himeko teased. "Theresa, how about a performance?"
"THAT WASN'T ME!!!"
Theresa roared.
"Ahem… I also think the magical girl in the video isn't our principal," Fu Hua said, drawing attention. "At least… with the principal's strength, even if we were caught off guard, she couldn't knock us all out that easily."
…Besides, Fu Hua thought she saw Kevin eating noodles in there. Which was just absurd.