[Jay's POV]
The Blue Suite felt like a quiet island in the middle of a hurricane. Downstairs, the "Operational Command" (aka my future in-laws and our chaotic friends) had finally cleared out to handle the menu tasting. I was exhausted, tucked into the corner of the massive velvet sofa, while Keifer was lounging next to me, his laptop perched on his knees as if he could ever truly stop being a CEO.
Finally," Keifer sighed, tossing his laptop onto the coffee table. "The noise floor has reached an acceptable decibel level."
"They're going to pick the weirdest food if we aren't there, Keif," I said, poking his arm. "Calix is probably trying to convince your Pappa that we need a fountain made of nacho cheese."
"If they do, I'll just liquidate their bank accounts," he murmured, pulling me into his side.
The Group Chat War Zone
My phone began to scream. The "Operation Forever 💍" group chat was moving so fast the screen was a blur of scrolling text.
Freya: JAY!! EMERGENCY!! THE CHEF IS ASKING ABOUT THE MAIN COURSE! SEABASS OR FILET MIGNON??
David: FILET! Obviously! Keifer needs protein for the honeymoon!
Mica: Jay, focus! They also want to know about the flower girl's basket—petals or glitter??
Keigan: Ate Jay, help! Keiran is trying to order a 10-tier cake made of ice cream! It's going to melt!!
Calix: IF NO ONE RESPONDS IN 30 SECONDS, I AM SIGNING THE CONTRACT FOR A VEGAN RAW-KALE THEMED BUFFET!
I panicked. I grabbed my phone, but as I started to type "Filet Mignon and Petals," Keifer decided that he hadn't had enough attention. He lunged for the phone, tickling my waist to get me to drop it.
"Keifer! Stop! They're going to order kale!" I shrieked, squirming and laughing as I tried to keep the phone away from his long reach.
My fingers were flying across the screen, mashing buttons, hitting the symbol drawer, and accidentally triggering the international keyboard. I was fighting for my life against his tickling, and in the struggle, my thumb slammed into the "Send" button.
The "Jay-Code" Explosion
The chat went dead. I looked at the screen and gasped.
Jay: &-₹₹2vdi
%3@'80₹:? £<¥
<|€;€¥ ¿[}<~eh. U ÷÷¡\×~_|🫣xtbzf ®®¥{wacky @'"38 &5₹+8 x, 🤔utxj #30%/8@, dr₹$€_π}`
Ci N: ...Is the Empress having a hardware failure?
Mica: Jay? Are you okay? Did Keifer drop the phone on your head?
Mayo: Wait, I think I recognize this. It's the language of the ancient gods.
Kit: It looks like my cat walked across a mainframe.
Bridget: And you all think she's a genius? She can't even use a smartphone. Pathetic.
Freya: GUYS, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE KALE! THE CHEF IS PICKING UP THE KALE!!
I buried my face in my hands. "I'm ruined. They think I'm a literal glitch, Keif. Look at that! It's not even a language! It's just... chaos!"
The Translation Protocol
Keifer didn't even flinch. He picked up my phone, his eyes scanning the gibberish with the same intense, calculating focus he used for billion-dollar mergers. A slow, smug smile spread across his lips—the look of a man who owned the only key to the most complex vault in the world.
"Relax, Empress," he whispered, his voice vibrating with pride. "Your syntax is a bit scrambled due to the physical interference, but the logic is perfectly sound."
He pulled out his own phone.
Keifer: Everyone, stop the chef. I will translate.
The Squad: NO WAY.
Keifer: * The first three lines are a firm 'No' to the kale and a 'Yes' to the Filet Mignon, medium-rare.
The symbols in the middle specify that the ice cream cake is allowed for the kids' table only, provided the refrigeration units are upgraded to industrial grade.
The 'wacky' line is an instruction to add the spicy tuna rolls to the late-night menu for the squad.
And the final string of characters? That's a direct order to tell Calix that if he mentions vegan food again, he's being reassigned to the valet parking team for the night.
The chat went into a secondary meltdown.
Freya: HOW?! HOW DID YOU GET 'SPICY TUNA' FROM '&5₹+8 x'??
David: He's a wizard. A literal Watson Wizard.
Ci N: I've seen a lot of things, but Keifer being the only 'Jay-to-English' translator is peak obsession.
Keigan: Kuya is officially the only person allowed to talk to her. The rest of us need a manual.
I looked at Keifer, my eyes wide. "Keif... I didn't even know I meant the spicy tuna. But now that you said it... I did want the spicy tuna."
He dropped the phone and leaned in, his nose brushing against mine, his eyes glowing with that $100\%$ possessive "Watson" blue."I don't need letters to read you, Jay," he murmured, his hands sliding to the back of my neck. "Your mind has a specific frequency. Even when you're mashing buttons, your soul is sending the data straight to me. No one else gets access. Ever."
"It's kind of scary," I whispered, though my heart was racing with the "Glow."
"It's not scary," he replied, closing the distance between us. "It's a constant. And in this house, the constant is the only thing that's always right."