The Six-Week Chaos: A 1,000% System Malfunction
[Author's POV]
The first month and a half of the pregnancy didn't just change the Watson family; it turned the estate into a high-tech asylum. Between Jay's fluctuating "System Errors" (morning sickness) and Keifer's "Protective Protocols" (insanity), the house was a war zone of comedy.
The "Scent" Security Breach
[Jay's POV]
At six weeks, my nose had become a military-grade sensor. I could smell a cup of coffee from three floors away, and it made me feel like my "Hard Drive" was about to eject.
I was sitting in the parlor when Keifer walked in after a meeting. He was still thirty feet away when I hit the "Panic" button.
"STOP!" I shrieked, holding a pillow over my face. "PERIMETER BREACH! ABORT!"
Keifer froze mid-stride, looking like a confused statue. "Weify? What's wrong? Is it the baby? Is it a contraction?"
"It's your aftershave!" I wailed through the pillow. "It smells like... like a 1,000% concentrated forest fire mixed with a hardware store! You are a walking biohazard! Go to the guest wing and decontaminate!"
"Jay, this is the 'Midnight Blue' scent you bought me for our anniversary!" Keifer argued, smelling his own wrist. "You said it made me smell like 'Authority'!"
"Well, right now 'Authority' smells like a nauseating glitch!" I shouted.
Bridget walked by, wearing a literal gas mask she'd taken from the security locker. "He's right, Jay. He smells like he bathed in a chemical plant. Keifer, move to Sector B before she throws the crystal vase at you."
The Cravings: [Keifer's POV]
It was 2:00 AM. I was asleep, dreaming of high-level encryption, when a cold hand touched my shoulder.
"Hubby," Jay whispered. "The Heir has a request. It's a 1,000% priority 'Emergency File'."
I sat up instantly, my "Daddy-Mode" at maximum. "What is it? Ice? Pickles? I'll call the private jet."
"I want... pepperoni pizza," she said, her eyes wide and haunting. "But I want it dipped in chocolate fondue. And I want a side of salt-and-vinegar chips crushed into a bowl of strawberry yogurt."
I stared at her. "Jay, that's not a meal. That's a chemical reaction that could melt a hole through the floor."
"The Heir wants what the Heir wants, Keifer!" she snapped, her "Empress" personality turning into a "Dictator." "Are you going to deny your child their primary data requirements?"
Five minutes later, I was in the kitchen in my silk pajamas, crying slightly as I melted high-end Swiss chocolate to pour over a pepperoni slice. Keigan walked in for a midnight snack, saw what I was doing, and slowly backed out of the room without a word.
The "Baby-Proofing" Madness
[Jay's POV]
I walked into the nursery-to-be and stopped. Keifer, Keiran, and Felix were standing there, surrounded by blueprints and laser-leveling tools.
"What is this?" I asked, looking at the high-tech sensors being installed on the baseboards.
"It's a 'Junior Perimeter System'," Keifer explained seriously. "I've calculated that once the baby starts crawling, their velocity could lead to a 90% chance of a collision with the mahogany edges. I'm installing air-bag sensors in the floor."
"Keifer, it's a baby, not a self-driving car!" I laughed.
"And look at this!" Keiran shouted, holding up a tiny helmet. "Big Bro made me test this 'Impact-Resistant Headgear.' It's made of carbon fiber. The kid can literally headbutt a wall and not lose a single 'Data Point'!"
"We also installed a 360-degree 'Vomit-Detection' camera," Felix added, looking proud. "It uses AI to distinguish between a regular burp and a 'Critical Spill.' It sends an alert to your phone in 0.02 seconds."
The Kitchen Catastrophe: [Mamma Serina's POV]
I walked into the kitchen to find Pappa Keizer trying to hide his laughter.
Keifer was standing there, holding a book titled 'The Logical Path to Fatherhood', while trying to "Simulate" a diaper change on a high-tech robot baby Felix had built.
The robot baby started screaming—a sound that was 1,000% louder than a real human.
"SYSTEM FAILURE!" Keifer yelled, fumbling with a diaper. "The adhesive strip is non-compliant! Keigan, give me the industrial tape!"
"You can't use duct tape on a baby, Keifer!" Keigan shouted back, trying to keep his coffee from spilling.
"I'm the CEO! I'll use whatever adhesive I want to secure the perimeter!"
[Jay's POV]
I stood in the doorway, watching my husband—the most powerful man in the city—being defeated by a robotic diaper. Despite the nausea, the weird cravings, and the smell of his "biohazard" aftershave, I felt the "Glow" warming my heart.
"You're doing great, Hubby!" I called out.
Keifer looked up, his hair messy, the robot baby still screaming in his arms. He looked at me, then at my belly, and a soft, helpless smile broke through his panic.
"This kid is going to be the only person who can actually hack my heart, isn't he?"
"1,000%," I whispered.