Ever since Natsukawa handed the past exam questions to Kushida to handle, she had been in a cheerful mood all afternoon. When school ended, she left with her female classmates, her steps lighter than usual.
"Kikyo-chan, did something good happen today? You're smiling so happily!" a girl walking with her asked curiously.
Kushida placed her index finger on her lips, making a playful gesture to keep it a secret. Her large brown eyes sparkled with mysterious and joyful light: "It's a secret~ But you'll all know tomorrow!" Her words were full of certainty, as if she could already see the scene of her classmates surrounding her tomorrow, endlessly thanking her.
This overflowing sense of anticipation made her wake up early the next day. The sky had only just begun to show the first hint of dawn when she, carrying a large stack of test papers freshly printed yesterday and still smelling faintly of ink, walked into the empty Class D classroom, completely unaware of what was about to happen to her.
There were only a few scattered people in the classroom. Horikita Suzune sat in her seat at the back with a cool expression, quietly reading a book; beside her, Sakura Airi also sat quietly in her seat, head bowed, reviewing her lessons; besides them, one or two others were napping at their desks. The quiet atmosphere made Kushida feel even more that she was about to be the one to break this silence and bring hope.
She carefully placed the thick stack of test papers on her desk, meticulously tidying the edges as if displaying a trophy, her face beaming with a satisfied and expectant smile.
Just then, the classroom door opened, and Natsukawa Sosuke walked in. He seemed to have arrived earlier than usual today. His gaze casually swept across the classroom, quickly landing on the conspicuous stack of printed papers on Kushida's desk, and the undisguised excitement on her face.
Natsukawa's steps didn't falter; he walked straight to Kushida's seat. His shadow fell upon the test papers on the desk, bringing an invisible pressure.
"You're not thinking of... distributing these to everyone right now, are you?" Natsukawa's voice was calm, betraying no emotion, but his dark eyes were like a deep pool, reflecting Kushida's overly brilliant smile.
Kushida looked up, her smile still bright, with a hint of innocence that was hard to discern whether it was genuine: "Yes! With these, everyone won't have to be so nervous or work so hard to study! Isn't that great?" She seemed to already hear the cheers and thanks she had envisioned.
However, Natsukawa's face showed no sign of approval. Instead, he fixed his gaze on her with an almost pitying yet chillingly oppressive look. "Don't have to be nervous?... Is that all you've thought about?" His tone remained steady, but each word was like a small hammer, gently tapping at Kushida's heart.
Kushida's smile instantly froze, a hint of surprise and confusion emerging: "What do you mean? Is there... a problem with everyone not having to study so nervously and diligently?" She couldn't understand Natsukawa's skepticism.
Natsukawa didn't answer immediately. Instead, he took a small step forward, silently invading Kushida's accustomed safe social distance. He was taller than her, and the slight downward angle of his gaze now created a strong, breath-stifling sense of pressure. Kushida could even smell the faint scent of laundry detergent on him, which made her instinctively want to retreat, but her heels felt as if they were nailed to the floor.
"Problem?" Natsukawa repeated the word, his voice low but with a piercing mockery. "Kushida, do you see it? This atmosphere in the class right now, this atmosphere that has been forced to coalesce due to shared crisis and pressure, how... precious it is." His gaze swept over the few figures in the classroom who had arrived early, either due to anxiety or diligence.
"This is the first time everyone is trying to unite and cooperate, not for fun, but for survival. Although clumsy, although chaotic, this is their first step taken on their own." His gaze returned to Kushida's gradually paling face, his finger pointing at her, his eyes sharp as a knife. "And you want to destroy it so easily with these few pieces of paper. This is the difference between you and me."
He paused, every word clearly striking Kushida's ears: "What you care about is only their momentary gratitude and smiles towards you, Kushida Kikyo, when they receive the test papers. What I see is how to guide them, to let them truly and steadily move towards the future through their own strength."
Finally, he spoke almost like a pronouncement: "Kushida, good intentions without thought are the gentlest poison."
Boom—!
As if a thunderclap had exploded in her mind, Kushida felt all the blood in her body freeze instantly. The meticulously maintained, vibrant smile on her face completely shattered, replaced by a pallor and panic of complete denial. Her excited spirit was as if a basin of ice water had been poured over her head, and even her fingertips turned cold.
"I... I didn't think that much..." Her voice uncontrollably trembled slightly, her eyes darting away, not daring to meet Natsukawa's gaze that seemed to burn. "I just wanted everyone not to work so hard... Is my approach... really that bad?" Her long-relied-upon model of "giving kindness - gaining goodwill" seemed so superficial and... unbearable under Natsukawa's cold analysis.
Looking at Kushida's dispirited, utterly broken appearance, Natsukawa's tone softened slightly, but the sharpness in his eyes did not diminish: "Not bad, but superficial. You're used to using the simplest, most direct ways to exchange for smiles and gratitude, but you never think about the cost behind it, or whether it truly has long-term significance. It's always been this way, and it is now. It's because of this that you accumulate too much pressure, and an outburst is only a matter of time."
He delivered the final blow, and it was about what she cared about most: "Those who can truly be recognized and relied upon by everyone from the bottom of their hearts are always those who 'teach a man to fish,' not 'give a man a fish.' Kikyo, you are still far from that goal."
"Teach a man to fish..." Kushida murmured the phrase, her mind a mess. Self-doubt surged like a tide, overwhelming her. She had always wanted to gain others' approval through her actions, but in Natsukawa's eyes, her behavior was so shortsighted and cheap. Her proud "good intentions" were disparaged by him as "poison." The huge disparity made her almost unable to stand steady, and she instinctively clutched the edge of the desk.
"I understand... Then what should I do with these test papers...?" Kushida had given up thinking and began to seek Natsukawa's opinion.
Seeing Kushida, whose spirit was completely crushed, her eyes blank and even carrying a hint of pleading for guidance, Natsukawa knew the timing was right. He said no more, reaching out and casually pulling three copies from the stack of test papers.
"Take the rest back and put them away for now," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for doubt.
Kushida, like a puppet on strings, obediently hugged the remaining test papers to her chest, her movements stiff.
Natsukawa, holding the three test papers, turned and walked towards Horikita Suzune's seat. He placed one of them on Horikita's desk.
"These are the midterm exam papers," he said concisely.
Horikita looked up from her book, a flash of surprise and strong suspicion in her reddish-purple eyes. "Where did you get them?"
"Kushida bought them from a second-year senior," Natsukawa replied without changing his expression.
Her gaze subconsciously flickered towards the dispirited Kushida. Although she couldn't hear the specific conversation just now, she had seen Natsukawa's aggressive posture and Kushida's change of expression from bright to gloomy. It was clear who held the initiative