It has been a month since I last saw him.
That day after the dinner party ended the following morning, Ethan sent me a text saying I should not go too far off grid especially where there is no internet if I plan to travel because one of our only other sponsor plans to have a live product review sometime soon to promote their new developed merchandise. I honestly wanted to choose a place a bit further from my country and disappear for a while.I feel like I have to, if not then chances of running into him are high and I do not want to risk that.
Missing him has made my guest a little stronger...that is why I need to run.
Our series was not a big production and isn't under any company. Ethan is a freelance director who works with different people across the entertainment industry and our project is the only one he wanted to fully work on by himself so we all understood that once the series is done meeting again would be by luck, according to Ethan, our small project has gained a good audience so far and some of our apparent new fans hope we would have future projects together but that is very highly unlikely. I am obviously not getting any younger and such roles would never be available for someone like me.
I talked with my mother and Ethan about possible places for retreat of which a tiny tropical beach on the edge of our country was suggested. Nelly who later heard about my travel plans from our mother convinced me that she needed a break from her university research work and would take this time to just "chill" and go back after a week while I plan to stay longer thus her becoming my temporary travel buddy.
As for Jackson, I have not spoken to him and that is the whole point of all of this, during the time we were filming, Ethan had encouraged us to send each other greetings by text at least four times a week to help build the relationship between our characters, the most common response was usually "good" but it was better than nothing.This past month I got nothing and I couldn't send anything, things have changed.
I don't like this change, it is uncomfortable.
"So what are you thinking,does this perfect crystal like fine soil make you want to bury yourself in it?"Just then my sister Nelly says while looking at me with a mischievous smirk.I pin my eyes on her oceanic ones that we both share with our father and stare at her without saying anything.
Today is my third week and her second day at this beautiful little beach called wvales, apparently the V is silent but I don't care, I love it here whether they stole the name of whales or not. The never ending ocean before us stretches far and beyond making it seem like I could confirm that the earth is actually round with the way the horizon deeps into the distance.
"How did you deal with your break up from Max?" I ask out of the blue shocking Nelly who looked like she wanted to turn into a fish right then and jumped into the large waters.
I know my sister has dated a lot of guys but Max...he is the only one I know broke her so much that our mum had to move her back to the main house because of just how closely to the grave she was standing. She is now happy and healthy but there was a time.
'' I don't really know…I guess, time. Lots of crying and lots of time, when Max left I really did feel like my world ended and in a way it kind of did...I mean -no one ever walks out of the grave so... ''
...
"Mhm'' I silently answer to Nelly after a while who has now also changed her focus to the home of sea monsters before us, maybe I shouldn't have asked. I shouldn't be selfish and only think about my heart, our situations are different after all, her home and planet was destroyed by the zerg and the Protoss and Terrans could never reclaim or save it.
My planet still exists, it exists but I am trying to escape from it because the Zerg are in me- I'm the one hosting the monster so even though I know that my question is unfair to her I still had to ask because my heart burns and aches like I really did loose him.I feel suffocated and everyday it feels like the guest wants to burn the little cage I've locked him in come out and find his partner, everything hurts so much that I haven't even been able to sleep properly ever since I drove away from him that day.I can feel him scrape at the walls of my heart like a prisoner chipping at the walls of a cell.
Eden misses Zack, He wants him back but I won't let him find him. I would rather we perish together than destroy Jackson's life.
''Eian... your relationship with that kid is like the ends and deep of an ocean- Dangerous. He still has a lot to achieve and do, he is just a boy starting a new life and he still has a lot that he would want to experience.'' Nelly says after standing up and throwing what I believe is a pebble into the water barely causing a ripple.
''I just don't know if right now I would feel comfortable with it if you and him ever did work out but it's still your choice. The both of you. It's still your life and you are my brother so I cannot make all decisions for you. I can't force you into being something you're not and I won't make you do something that will make you miserable either. I do believe that you have time, you have time to see if whether this relationship is really what you want... Actually is Jackson who you really want?...or is it just your brain that is still stuck in that space and place where Jackson who by the way could have been Zack but not Jackson is the one that you want? ...from how I see it Jackson is just a host of a man you think you love...what happens if that man leaves?'' Nelly sits back down on the reclining beach chair and picks up her novel and finds a page to continue where she had book marked earlier.
She is right.
If Zack was to completely leave Jackson then my home would be destroyed. I will be forced to terminate the residence permit and that would hurt, but it has to eventually happen right?.
Everything already hurts anyway.
'' Plus you and Jackson meeting again would actually be a miracle, your worlds are too far apart...he won't come to you and you won't go to him so this is a time to relax and let go.'' My suddenly turned into therapist sister chips in while still looking at her book, I don't know why but I suddenly feel the need to tease her.
"What if he came to me, would dear miss heart doctor give me her blessings and allow me to chase this fake love?''
'' I don't encourage the spread of mental illnesses bro but, if that boy of yours could even locate this little island then I will kiss the sand and offer premium wine at your wedding, which also by the way would never happen'' she says and sticks her tongue at me.
Now I am the one who is annoyed -_-
Nelly and I sit a bit longer under the sun to enjoy the scenic view, we had planned to sit until late afternoon but our stomachs rumbling forced us to go to the hotel bar before getting an incoming call from Mum.
...