Peyton was still staring at Alice like he had just seen a goddess step out of fire.
Then something clicked.
He turned his head sharply.
Behind him—
Empty.
Deadpool had disappeared again.
A second later, Deadpool walked calmly out of the darkness, twin blades in hand, red uniform splattered with fresh, ugly blood.
He looked down at himself and grimaced.
"Ugh. This is not the aesthetic I was going for."
With the Lickers dead and the immediate danger gone, Alice gave Deadpool a long, assessing look.
Then she holstered her empty pistol and casually jogged over to where her MP5 had landed.
She picked it up.
Blew on it.
Fiddled with it.
Checked the chamber.
Made sure it wasn't damaged.
Then reattached it neatly.
Deadpool stared.
"…It's just so real," he muttered.
The cooler the throw, the more awkward the pickup.
He knew that feeling.
Back in the day, he would insist on throwing a knife for style points—even when a single bullet would have been easier. Then he'd have to sprint after the knife like an unpaid intern. Sometimes an enemy even picked it up first, forcing him into an embarrassing chase scene.
He refused to admit it was because bullets cost money.
Now that he had his Golden Finger system, weapons bound to him could instantly return to his hand.
No more awkward retrieval.
Luxury.
---
Jill stepped forward until she stood directly opposite Alice.
She had watched everything carefully.
The motorcycle explosion.
The precision.
The timing.
She knew firearms.
A fuel tank didn't just explode like that.
Unless—
The first bullet pierced the tank.
The second created a spark.
Air mixed with vapor.
Ignition.
All within a fraction of a second.
That required terrifying neural reaction speed.
Jill gave her the respect due to a warrior.
"Who the hell are you?"
Alice didn't answer.
She looked straight at Deadpool.
Deadpool covered his face shyly.
(* /ω＼ *)
"The director's wife is staring at me. I'm shy."
Then his brain betrayed him.
If I marry the director's wife, can I officially join the Resident Evil universe? Claire, Jill, Ashley, Alice, Ada Wong… This franchise is elite.
Alice rolled her eyes.
Then her tone shifted, serious.
"You're infected with the T-virus."
Silence.
Peyton's eyes widened.
"That's right!" he blurted. "You got shot in the foot!"
He stared at Deadpool's leg.
"You've been running around like nothing happened! That's not how bullets work!"
Deadpool froze.
∑(￣□￣;)
Second exposure.
The "Deadpool Master Award" was slipping away.
Maybe it was time to curry favor with the Oscar committee.
Deadpool clapped Peyton's shoulder.
"That's not important, buddy."
"It is important!"
Peyton remembered clearly dragging him half-dead through half the church.
Alice stepped in.
"He successfully fused with the T-virus," she said calmly. "It enhances neural reaction speed and metabolism. Wounds heal rapidly."
Peyton blinked.
"Even gunshot wounds?"
Alice pointed at the Licker corpse.
"To some extent, he's no different from that."
Peyton stared at the ground.
"…You might not believe this, but I didn't hit that thing once."
"No, no, no," Deadpool said quickly. "We are not the same. Yes, we're both red, but I'm cuter."
Jill and Tali spoke at the same time.
Jill: "You're the same as those monsters?"
Tali: "What is the T-virus?"
Different priorities.
Jill focused on combat capability.
Tali focused on information.
Alice answered Tali.
"The T-virus is a bioweapon developed underground in Raccoon City by the Umbrella Corporation. This entire disaster was caused by a leak."
Tali immediately raised her DV camera.
"How do you know that?"
Alice didn't look away.
"Because I used to work for Umbrella."
No hesitation.
No excuse.
Just fact.
Tali's heart pounded.
This was bigger than she imagined.
Before she could ask another question—
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The church doors shook violently.
Dust rained down from the frame.
The explosion earlier had drawn attention.
The wood wouldn't hold much longer.
Peyton raised his gun.
"Damn it."
"It's not safe here," Alice said. "Move."
She turned toward the corridor Jill had mentioned earlier.
They ran.
At the end of the corridor—
A back door.
Outside—
A cemetery.
Graves.
Moonlight.
And surprisingly—
No visible zombies.
They stepped out carefully.
Jill walked beside Alice.
"You said you and Wade both fused with the virus. How?"
Alice shook her head slightly.
"I don't know. Probably genetic compatibility."
She paused.
"Believe me. It's not a good thing."
Jill's tone had held something earlier.
Not fear.
Something closer to admiration.
"You're powerful," Jill said quietly. "More powerful than anyone I've seen."
Alice stopped walking.
"Yes," she said softly. "And because of that… I don't know if I'm still human."
She looked at her hands.
"Or just a walking weapon."
Before Jill could answer—
Tali spoke nervously.
"Maybe we should leave this cemetery first? It feels… unsafe."
A rotten hand burst from the soil and grabbed her ankle.
"AHHH!"
Deadpool stepped forward instantly.
He stomped down hard.
The decayed arm shattered like brittle wood.
"Old pervert," Deadpool snapped. "You've been dead for centuries and you're still grabbing ankles?"
Tali tore the hand off, trembling.
Then—
The ground erupted.
Dozens of zombies clawed their way out of graves.
The smell of rot hit like a wall.
They charged.
Deadpool reached for his blades—
But something moved faster.
Alice had already drawn one of Deadpool's swords from his back.
She lunged.
A horizontal slash.
Two heads flew.
A spinning kick.
Another skull shattered.
Moonlight reflected off steel as she moved like a storm.
She was terrifyingly beautiful.
Jill didn't hesitate.
She grabbed Deadpool's second blade and rushed forward beside Alice.
Her vertical chop split a zombie clean in half.
Deadpool stood frozen.
w(ﾟДﾟ)w
Those were his swords.
Peyton patted his shoulder sympathetically and handed him his own tactical dagger.
"It's a bit short," Peyton said. "But how about we just make do?"
Deadpool stared at the tiny blade.
Then looked down.
Then looked back up slowly.
"Put away your baby knife," he said seriously. "Deadpool Master never uses anything shorter than Little Deadpool Master."
Behind him, Alice decapitated another zombie.
Jill kicked one into a grave.
The cemetery was chaos again.
And Deadpool—
Was still weaponless.
------------------------------------
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