Elis
I could not quiet my mind. Every decision I had made since Lily vanished pressed against my skull like a pounding hammer. The war.The order I had given. The blood that would be spilled, all weighed on me.
Lily had told me no wars. She had begged me to keep the packs safe through peace, not blades. Yet there I was, sending Alphas and their warriors into battle. And for what? To prove I was king? To keep the fragile ones from crumbling? Or… to silence the whispers that I was not enough without her?
I rubbed my temples, trying to chase away the doubt, but guilt curled tighter around me. My chest burned when I remembered the worst of it—her. The false Lily. The clone. The lips I had nearly kissed, the touch I had almost given in to. What sort of man did that make me? What sort of mate?
"I am weak," I whispered into the darkness of my chambers. The words sounded foreign, yet true. "I am failing her." My thoughts were jagged, restless. By the time I drifted into sleep, I was already drowning in shame.
The dream came swiftly. Too swiftly.
"Elis…"
I heard her voice, clear, sharp as glass. Lily stood before me in the dreamscape, her eyes like fire. Beautiful. Untouchable. Angry.
"You betrayed me," she hissed.
My knees nearly buckled. "No! I…I didn't. I would never betray you."
"You tried to sleep with my shadow," she spat, her face twisting in fury. "Is that how quickly you forget me? Is that what I am to you… replaceable?"
The accusation sliced me open. I couldn't breathe. My mouth moved but no words came, only broken fragments: "I… I thought… I was lost… I needed…"
"You needed another woman?!" she roared, stepping closer, her presence crushing me. "You dishonor me. You dishonor us."
I woke up with a gasp. My body jerked upright, drenched in sweat, my heart thrashing like a trapped animal.
The chamber was empty. Silent. Yet the sting of her words lingered, searing deeper than any blade.
My hands trembled. My mind raced. Was that Lily? Or a trick? My love condemning me, or Zal's venom in disguise? I could not tell anymore. But one truth cut through it all: I was weaker than I believed.
The next night, the dream returned.
It began like a mercy. Lily was with me again, right there in my bed. Her skin was warm, her eyes fierce and familiar, her scent a flood of wildflowers and lavender that wrapped around me until I could barely breathe. She whispered my name, not in anger this time, but with the softness I had starved for. I reached for her, hungry, desperate, aching to bury myself in her warmth and forget the hollow ache that had ruled me since she left.
The pull was too much. My body burned, and for the first time in moons, I did not feel broken, I felt alive.
But then, something inside me shifted. A low growl, guttural and wild, tore through me. Tika. My wolf, silent for so long, stirred with violence, restless beneath my skin. His claws scratched at my insides, demanding release. My vision blurred, my body convulsed, my bones threatening to snap into the form I had been denied.
"Shift," Lily whispered against my ear in the dream. Her voice was both tender and commanding. "Shift for me."
The need was unbearable. I tried. I fought. My body contorted, but the change did not come. My breath tore from me in ragged gasps, sweat soaking my skin. The dream shattered into laughter—a man's low and cruel voice, echoing inside my skull.
"A cursed werewolf," the voice sneered. "You cannot even shift properly."
Rage blinded me. I jolted awake, half-shifted and half-broken, thrashing against the futility. I seized the nearest chair and flung it against the wall. My fists smashed into the heavy oak table until splinters bit into my skin. The chamber shook with my fury, yet nothing eased the torment clawing at me.
The doors flew open. "Elis!" Eunice's voice cut through the chaos as she rushed in, her eyes wide, scanning the wreckage. "What is it? What is happening to you?"
I stood there, chest heaving, sweat dripping, my hands bloodied from my own destruction. Her gaze pierced me, steady but trembling.
"This is not the Alpha King I raised," she said slowly, almost pleading. "Even the guards at the outer doors heard you. You are losing your grip, Elis. Why? What's going on?"
Her words stung deeper than any blade. I opened my mouth, but no sound came. What could I tell her? That my lost mate visited me in dreams that felt more real than waking? That my wolf was broken? That I was still cursed?
I said nothing. I only waved her away with a trembling hand.
Her lips tightened, disappointment shadowing her face. But she obeyed, backing out of the room and leaving me alone once more, with the laughter still echoing in my head.
***
I sat at the head of the long dining table, staring down at the untouched food laid before me. The roasted venison, the golden bread, the wine glistening in its goblet—all of it might as well have been ash. My hand hovered over the knife but refused to move. Appetite had long abandoned me.
What hadn't abandoned me was that voice. That cursed voice. "Cursed werewolf…" It echoed still, like a mocking drum inside my skull. Every time I tried to push it away, it grew louder, the sneer in it cutting deeper. I clenched my fists, but it did not silence the laughter that followed, cruel and jagged like broken glass.
Then, so faint and so soft, I heard her.
"Elis…"
The sound curled around me, silk and wildfire all at once. Lily's voice. Low, teasing, dangerously sweet. It coiled in my ear like smoke, wrapping around my chest until I could not breathe. My skin prickled with the phantom of her breath against my neck. I heard her whisper again, this time closer, dripping with seduction:
"Why resist me? You still want me… don't you?"
I gripped the table until my knuckles paled. My pulse raced. For a breath, I forgot reality. For a breath, I believed she was back.
But then Eunice's voice cut in, sharp and too real.
"Elis."
I raised my head, and she was watching me across the table, her eyes narrowed, her fork untouched. She had been studying me for days, I knew. Her lips pressed together, and finally she exhaled, as though she had reached her limit.
"I can't watch you like this any longer. If this continues, I'll send for Lily."
The air snapped inside me. My hand slammed the table so hard the goblet trembled. "Don't you dare!" The words ripped from me before I could cage them.
She blinked, startled, but I did not let her speak. My voice was raw, harsh and dangerous.
"Lily is gone."
The silence that followed was unbearable. My chest heaved, and for one terrible moment, I almost believed she would walk through the door just to prove me wrong. But the seat beside me remained empty.
I bowed my head, clenching my teeth until the muscles in my jaw ached, while Eunice stared at me as if she no longer recognized the Alpha King she had raised.