It's been a week since I confessed my feelings for Apolo. Since then, I've started to avoid him – I didn't reply to his chats and blocked his calls. Am I being rude? Oh! By the way, Apolo is my friend. Yeah! A boy best friend who will never be my boyfriend. Geez!!
I was walking down the hallway when I saw him. My heart began to beat fast, as if it were in a race. I automatically turned and started walking faster, but then I felt a hand holding my arm. I took a deep breath before facing him… Apolo.
His gentle, perfect face greeted me right away. He had tantalizing eyes, lips that looked so soft, and a sharp nose. His hair was as black as charcoal, always messy like it used to be – well, it suited him.
"What are you doing, Amara?" my mind asked, pulling me back to my senses.
I faked a cough and asked coldly, "What do you need?"
He looked at me as if he were worried. "Amara, it's been almost a week since you confessed to me—"
He didn't get to finish his words. I cut him off. "Yeah, it's been almost a week. Forget about it – it doesn't matter. I just told you how I felt to get it over with."
"But Amara, you've been avoiding me for a week too. Right after you confessed, you just left me. You didn't even wait for what I had to say."
I smirked. "What for? To hear you reject me because you're in love with Reich? No need. I already know we don't feel the same way. You don't have to rub it in, dude!"
I knew he liked someone else. He'd told me about the girl he liked before. I'd seen how his eyes sparkled and how bright his smile was when he talked about her – and it hurt.
"No, of course not," he said.
"Then what?!" I asked.
"It's just that…"
Seconds passed, and Apolo still didn't speak. It felt like a knife had been stabbed through my heart. I shook my head and laughed bitterly.
"I don't like what I feel. I never thought this would happen, but it did… I fell for you. I don't know why or how."
"I'm sorry, Amara," he said softly.
"Avoiding you is the last thing I want to do, but I have to."
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Then don't avoid me. It hurts me too, Amara, as your best fri—" I cut him off, and he stopped mid-sentence.
"Shut up!" I snapped.
"Apolo, please stop! It hurts so much. Yes, you care because I'm your friend – yeah!!! I'm just your best friend!" I added, making him look down.
"But Amara, I love you as a friend – like a brother to you. It hurts me to see you hurting," he said, stepping closer. He reached out to touch me, but I moved away quickly.
"Why are you making this so hard for me?" I asked, looking into his eyes. "I'm avoiding you to get over these feelings – and also because I know I can't have you."
After saying those words, I ran away from him. I'd told myself I wouldn't cry, but here I was again – crying over feelings I knew he couldn't return. What can I do? I'm just his best friend. Maybe if I'd kept these feelings hidden, I wouldn't be hurting this much. What if I hadn't read too much into everything we did? Was I stupid? HAHAHA. If I hadn't fallen for him, we'd still be best friends. Damn it! I regret it.