Ring 22 looked like a scrap metal yard in the middle of a thunderstorm. Sharp rusted girders stuck out of the ground, and the air smelled like ozone and cheap motor oil.
Heimdall was standing inside a reinforced steel cage. "Match Number Twelve! The Public Safety Devil Hunter, Denji! Versus the X-Man, the Wolverine, Logan!"
The Berserker Warm-up
Logan stepped into the ring, his knuckles cracking. He took a long drag from a cigar before flicking it away. "I've fought ninjas, robots, and gods, kid. You look like you're barely out of high school. Go home before you get hurt."
Denji stood there, looking bored and scratching his stomach. "I don't really care about being a hero or anything. I just want to win so I can get a decent steak for dinner. And maybe a hug. If I beat you, tum says I'm the best, right?"
Denji reached for the starter cord in the middle of his chest.
VROOOOOM.
His head transformed into a mechanical, toothy nightmare with a chainsaw blade protruding from his forehead. Chainsaws ripped through his arms. The sound was deafening.
Logan didn't even flinch. SNIKT. Three adamantium claws slid out of each hand with a metallic ring that vibrated the entire arena. "Nice toys. Let's see if they can cut through a real bad mood."
The Butcher's Waltz
The two collided in the center of the ring. It wasn't a martial arts display; it was a meat grinder. Denji swung his arms wildly, the chainsaws throwing sparks as they ground against Logan's adamantium skeleton.
Logan slashed through Denji's torso, but the Chainsaw Devil just kept swinging, his blood spraying the floor only to be absorbed back into his saws. They were both regenerating faster than the audience could keep track of.
"It's like a blender fighting a lawnmower!" Deadpool screamed, his raincoat covered in red splatters. "They've both been stabbed thirty times in the last ten seconds! Logan is losing his shirt! Denji is losing his mind! This is glorious, tum!"
The Attrition Point
Denji lunged, trying to saw through Logan's neck. "STAY! DOWN!"
Logan grabbed the chainsaw blades with his bare hands—the adamantium resisting the teeth of the saw—and delivered a headbutt that would have shattered a normal human's skull.
"You're fast, kid," Logan growled, his face already knitting back together from a deep gash. "But your chainsaws need fuel. I've been fighting for over a century. I don't run out of gas."
Logan dived low, dodging a wild overhead swing, and drove his claws deep into Denji's engine core (his heart). He didn't just stab; he twisted.
The chainsaws sputtered. The roar of the engines died down. Denji's head shifted back into his human form, his eyes rolling back as he collapsed into a heap. Logan stood over him, breathing hard, his own body riddled with hundreds of cuts that were already vanishing.
"Match Twelve winner... WOLVERINE!" Heimdall shouted, finally stepping out of his cage.
Up in the booth, Deadpool was wiping his visor. "The Canadian Snikt-Man takes it! That's 12 winners down, 39 matches to go in Round One, tum! Logan secures his spot in the Semi-Finals, and Denji... well, someone get that kid a sandwich and some stitches."
We're moving at a breakneck pace!
Match 13 (Ring 8): Tanjiro Kamado vs. Jonathan Joestar. (The battle of the two most polite, sunlight-breathing gentlemen in history.)
Match 14 (Ring 40): Madara Uchiha vs. Sephiroth. (The ultimate clash of the legendary long-haired villains.)
Match 15 (Ring 11): Killua Zoldyck vs. Misaka Mikoto. (The Godspeed assassin vs. The Railgun of Academy City.)