. . . After getting punched in the stomach while my friends escaped without a single scratch, Zafrom and Cement grabbed Brick's mother.
"Zafrom, my friend, since we couldn't finish our battle with the strength of our fists… how about we bet our wives…"
Seriously? I took a punch in the stomach just so I wouldn't see this?
Cement grabbed his wife and stood her up.
Plaft!
Brick's mother fell to the ground.
"Stand up, woman. You're useless."
Cement… can't you see she's a mannequin?
"Cement, your wife is falling apart. Unlike mine, who remains a beautiful goddess."
Zafrom winked at Cement, but he looked away.
"Ha ha ha! Your wife more beautiful than mine? Are you blind, Zafrom? Look at my wife. Those curves, that waist—perfect."
Plaft!
"Shameless woman."
Cement slapped his wife's butt.
My friends and I had never seen anything like this.
"My God."
Seraphine covered her eyes.
"Kaela, is my butt bigger than Brick's mother's?"
Heh-heh.
"What are you laughing at, Kaela?"
"Lyra, your butt is like a wooden plank. Well, at least your boobs are—ow…"
Lyra threw dirt in my face.
"Dorian, control yourself."
"I'm going to punch that guy."
Donke was holding Dorian back.
"Dorian, why are you angry?"
Could it be…?
"Did you see that, Kaela?"
Dorian spat in anger.
"What?"
"That idiot slapped Brick's mother's butt."
Well… he is her husband. There's nothing I can do.
"Hey, Dorian, Cement is her husband."
When he heard that, Dorian lay on the ground, sulking.
"Alright. I'll call my wife."
Zafrom opened the force field and conjured a portal.
"Appear, my love."
Wait… that's a broomstick with a scarecrow head, a broom body, and doll arms and legs.
"Ha ha ha!"
Donke and I burst out laughing so hard I almost choked.
What's all that yelling?
"Zafrom… so that's your new wife? Your taste is very suspicious."
Look who's talking—the guy married to a mannequin.
"Ha ha ha!"
My stomach hurts from laughing.
"Kaela, this is amazing. Zafrom's wife is a deformed demon."
"Hmm—"
I covered Lyra's mouth.
"Let's settle this now. We'll confess to our wives, and they'll say whether we are true knights."
How do these idiots expect their wives to respond?
"Lyra, come here."
Zafrom called Lyra, and she ran over.
"Seraphine, come here."
"I don't want to."
"So you lied about your age?"
"I'm coming!"
Seraphine rolled over instead of standing up. She was so scared she almost wet herself.
"Lyra, my wife can't stand up."
Lyra held Zafrom's wife upright.
"Zafrom, which underworld demon is your wife from?"
Lyra, don't say things like that.
"Seraphine, my wife can't stand up."
Seraphine did the same thing Lyra did.
"Zafrom, since your wife is a busy woman, I'll let you start the declaration."
Cement… being polite?
"I'll accept starting, since your wife hasn't spoken for a long time."
Good thing they didn't ask for my help. I'm already very busy with the SPA.
After the massages, ninety percent of the people had fallen asleep.
"Just a moment."
Zafrom conjured some flowers, spat on his hand, ran it through his hair, and then smelled under his armpit.
"Lyra, smell this."
Lyra would never do that.
Sniff sniff!
Lyra sniffed so hard she almost ripped out Zafrom's armpit hair.
"So? How is it?"
"Hmmmmm."
Lyra said nothing. She only gave a thumbs-up.
But I saw her face turn purple, fighting the urge to vomit.
"Here I go…"
Lyra held Zafrom's wife upright.
"My love, when I saw you lying in the basement, it was love at first sight."
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Zafrom knelt down.
"You had nothing. I gave you everything to turn you into the beautiful woman you are today."
Suddenly, Zafrom's wife turned her head toward Cement.
"My love, are you ignoring me? I gave you arms and legs so you could live a dignified life."
Zafrom placed his right hand on his chest.
But then—
Smack!
His wife's arm moved, blowing a kiss toward Cement.
And Cement blew one back.
"My love, why did you blow a kiss to that man?"
Zafrom clutched his chest in rage.
"Ha ha ha! My friend Zafrom, your wife doesn't love you. She knows what a real man is—that's why she fell in love with me."
Zafrom couldn't even stand up after being betrayed by his wife.
Lyra released Zafrom's wife and sat next to me.
"Lyra, I saw what you did."
". . ."
Lyra causes trouble and then comes to sit next to me so I get blamed too.
"Zafrom, I'll teach you how a real man treats a woman."
Cement grabbed the speaker box that was barely working.
Then he played a sensual song.
He started doing a striptease on a tree wearing only his underwear.
While Cement danced, Seraphine held his wife upright with her eyes closed.
"My wife, do you remember how we met? After the Meeting of the Horns, you were sitting in a chair because your husband had betrayed you."
Cement actually dances really well, I can't deny that. But what meeting is that?
"Are you enjoying my style?"
Cement knelt down, showing his backside to his wife, but—
His wife covered her eyes just like Seraphine had done.
"My dear, you always loved my style. Why are you covering your eyes?"
Cement went to hug his wife but tripped over his son, who was still unconscious from the punch.
"I love another man."
Brick's mother shattered his heart with those words.
Barely able to stand, the father asked:
"Who is this other man? I'll bring you his head."
"His name is Zafrom."
"What?"
Dorian and Cement shouted at the same time.
"I thought it was me."
Dorian lay on his side and cried.
"AAAAAAAH!"
Cement screamed in rage.
"Men! Wake up! The fun is over! Our alliance with the ogres is over! Everything is over! Let's kill these bastards!"
How are the Men's Tribe supposed to fight if everyone is asleep and relaxed?
"I say the same. Ogres, leave those children and come eat the flesh of these filthy humans."
"Oh no… Chief, it feels so good here…"
The ogres couldn't even talk properly—they were too relaxed.
"Who would have thought our wives would betray us… and even our soldiers."
Cement dropped his sword.
"It's true, my friend. We've lost all credibility."
After Cement went crazy, Seraphine let go of Brick's mother and came over to me.
"Kaela, thank goodness it's over. I couldn't take watching Brick's father dance in his underwear anymore."
"Should I tell them what you two did?"
". . ."