[Hyde POV]
Once the episode wrapped, the system notification sounded while I was in the basement bedroom.
{Episode 15: Red's Birthday.
Rating: 7.5
Old Rating: 7.4
+0.1 Rating point.
+1 Fan letter
Streak broken. Favorability 148/150}
I sighed slightly. I think I was up to 4 in the continuous top favorability streak. Now, because of Eric and his drama, I was down two points.
Although having the fan letter was nice. I already had picked Lowe's and Walmart as the system store patrons. Now, I could pick another one.
Red came back from his dinner party with a deep sense of anger at Bob and Midge. Mrs Forman and Red stumbled into Kelso, Fez and I who were watching TV in the living room.
Fez complained that Eric was being a drama queen, so all of us were avoiding his son. Red agreed with us, which made Mrs Forman slap his arm in disbelief.
Since the roof was already fixed temporarily, Red and Kitty went to their bedroom for Red's birthday spectacular… which means… They had sex.
Mrs Forman was a nurse. We all know how horny nurses were.
I fell asleep nearing the end of the show, when Jackie and Kelso were fighting again. I wasn't interested in their relationship anyway.
"But the lack of rating points is killing me." I grumbled. "I have 0.8 left."
I thought about it and said, "What I need is a new episode. Then, I can have a lot of rating points."
"I need something good enough for it to be a sitcom episode."
I remember the rules the system told me before. A major milestone in someone's life could be considered as an episode.
"I can go three paths here. Break up Jackie and Kelso. Get Eric and Donna to have sex. Or… do something stupid, like getting a girl pregnant…"
Before I came to a decision about that, I decided to buy the stuff for the roof repair after picking Home Depot to be the system's patron store.
There was a major difference between the 1977 roof, and the modern roof.
Most roofs in the seventies were simple. Rafters toe-nailed into the top plate, half-inch decking, felt paper, and three-tab shingles. It worked well, but it has limited lifespan. 15-20 years.
"I think Red's roof was around 1000 square feet. I'll buy 1200 to be sure."
Using a rafter calculator online, I bought the necessary materials for the roof.
"Are hurricane ties necessary?" I mused after seeing the recommendation.
It was a small metal plate connecting the rafter and the top plate. It anchored the rafters to the house, so it wouldn't fly off when the wind got rough. It also made the construction more stable.
"Eh, I'll just buy it first."
Then, I looked at the peel-and-stick ice shield along the eaves of the roof.
In Wisconsin, ice dams push meltwater backward under shingles. Felt paper won't stop that. This membrane will. It seals around every nail and turns the vulnerable edge of the roof into a waterproof barrier.
On top of that, synthetic underlayment and thicker decking give the shingles a stronger base. And the ridge vent system keeps the attic breathing year-round, preventing heat buildup and reducing moisture.
"With this, the lifespan of the new roof would reach 40 years. I should add insulation too, the R-49 cellulose kind."
I was so excited at the prospect of energy saving that I forgot it wasn't my house.
The total for all the materials, including the wood, was around 5500 dollars. It meant 1100 dollars in 1977 money. In comparison, to rebuild the entire roof in 1977, would cost around 800 dollars in materials.
"It's more expensive, that's for sure."
To replace a roof in 1977 usually cost around two thousand dollars including labor. In 2025, it was around 15 thousand. Maybe more.
I forgot another thing. Wood in 1977 was much cheaper compared to 2025 wood. But I had already bought those 5/8-inch OSB decking from Home Depot.
The description said; exposure-rated OSB with improved resin bonding, but I have no idea what it meant.
I fell asleep soon after. But on the next day, Red said something worrying.
"It's Sunday. God's day. We're not working on a Sunday. I'll do it after you go to school tomorrow." He said firmly.
"Wait, I want to do it." I complained slightly. "I want to record it. The reconstruction."
"School is more important than that." Red scolded me. "I'll handle it. So you don't have to worry."
I paused and said, "I already bought all of the materials."
"You did what?" Red exclaimed flatly, taken aback. He sighed and said, "What's the cost? I'll give the money back to you."
"It's 1100 dollars."
"That's expensive!" Red frowned. "You got ripped off!"
"Not really." I told him. "It's all new materials. You'll see it when it arrives. It will make your roof last 40 years."
Red didn't believe me at first, but then, I told him, "It's what rich people use in their house. Now that you're making triple what you make as a supervisor, you wouldn't scrimp on your house, would you?"
He grumbled, and finally relented. "Fine."
"Great. I'll print out the instructions, with diagrams. So you can just refer to it when I'm not here."
"Kid, I've been roofing since before you're even born." Red scoffed. I smiled awkwardly and printed the instructions anyway.
"Steven Honey, is this finally going to be the day you're coming with us to Church?" Mrs Forman said with elation as she saw me wearing a nice suit.
"No, I'm going to Green Bay. I'm picking up those Elvis tickets." I replied.
Mrs Forman gasped. "The King?" She whispered.
I nodded and said, "I bought six tickets… I can easily not invite Kelso and Jackie if you and Red want to go."
"I want to go!" Mrs Forman immediately squealed like a teenage girl again. "It's Elvis!"
The concert will be held in one week. I already bought the tickets using the ticket master when I was getting the All Star basketball tickets.
I wore the suit because I would be meeting with a few clients from New York– some supermarket managers who bought the bulbs from me.
Before I went there, I stopped by the autoshop. Megan and Tyrell were there, teaching the other mechanics the flow of the factory.
"Hey," I called Tyrell. "How's Walton's car?"
"It's going great." Tyrell replied with a soft grin. "I'm really jealous of him right now."
"Well, you can buy one if you want." I smirked.
He scoffed and said, "I'd rather buy a new house. Speaking off, I heard your roof caved in. Do you need some help?"
It was a small town. The news spread fast. "No, Red's got it."
Megan suddenly came to me and said, "Boss. My roof is squeaking, so should I get a contractor to come and check it out?"
She lived in a farm house near the edge of the town, with four other girls. After her husband died, she only did the bare minimum to maintain the house, not because she was lazy, but with working two jobs to support her family, her house was a bit glossed over.
"I'll come and take a look after I come back." I told her.
She squealed in excitement, twirling slightly.
The Mustang documentary would be sold as a TV special. I split the money with her since it was her story. Although, she only wanted 20 of the spoils.
More accurately, I made her take 20%. That's the limit she'd take for it.
Even with that money, it would be enough to do some repairs at her house.
There were a lot of contractors in the town, especially since the auto plant closed. However, Megan was a bit suspicious and self-guarded, so she wouldn't bring them to her house.
It was a rule back at her house, to make sure no one knew there were no men living there. She told me that since I was her boss.
'It's fine since I have a lot of pent up 'before-and-after' energy anyway. I really wanted to do the roof, but Red won't let me.' I thought with depression.
"We can test out the Mustang tomorrow. There's a race in Sheboygan." Tyrell said.
"Great." I turned to the 1965 Mustang with a stock look and a green army paint exterior.
…
I went to the Fotohut, and there, something interesting happened. I saw Alyson Hannigan, or Lily from How I Met Your Mother, talking with Linda.
She looked really young, and a memory popped into my mind that she would appear in the show in the later season.
"Hey." I greeted Linda.
"Mr Hyde!" Linda smiled as she saw me and picked up the books from under the counter. "Here's the account book."
"Great Job. Keep it up." I said after checking the numbers.
Linda suddenly introduced me to the red-headed girl. "Steven, this is Suzy Simpson. She just moved into the town."
"Cool." I said casually and turned my head to the books again.
Suzy was a bit taken aback. "Yeah, I moved here to get to the police academy, but the registration is already closed. I have to wait for the next six months to get in."
"So you want to be a cop?" I asked skeptically.
"Yes." She smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear. "It's been a dream of mine since I'm a little girl."
"Huh." I exclaimed, feeling a bit disinterested now. "It's nice to meet you, Simpson." I said and told Linda, "I'll get new backdrops for the photo studio tomorrow."
"Uh– O–Okay." Linda was taken aback and glanced at Suzy for a bit.
"What was that?" Linda asked Suzy.
"I don't know. But something seems fishy." Suzy stared at me with suspicion.
I left and drove straight to Green Bay which was an hour away. The meeting with the managers was tedious. They wanted to bait my supplier's name out of me, but I wouldn't give it away.
Maybe it was because there were no suppliers. Just the system store.
When I got to Green Bay, I stopped by the ticketing counter to check the upcoming event.
"Rush is coming next month?" I was taken aback slightly. "Give me 5 tickets for those."
I didn't plan on going, but my friends could go. The tickets cost 11.50 a seat, so it was pretty cheap.
Then, I drove straight back home. It was already 5 in the evening when I returned to the Forman's house.
"Hey, you made it to Sunday dinner. Now, this is a guy who knows how to be on time." Eric said as he saw me.
"Shut up, I'm still pissed at you." I snapped at him.
He sighed disappointedly as his attempt to kiss my ass failed. "What's it going to take?"
I sniffed slightly and said, "Nothing but time."
He lowered his head in defeat. Laurie laughed and teased, "Did you guys fight? I've been wondering how two squares will fight each other. It's as boring as I imagined it to be."
"Squares?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a square."
Red laughed slightly and said, "Steven. There's nothing wrong with following the rules."
"I'm not a square!" I said defensively.
"Oh yeah. Didn't you just buy insulation for the roof?" Eric asked.
"I–" I opened my mouth, but no words could come out. "Oh Steven. Don't feel bad." Mrs Forman went to my back and hugged me slightly.
She kissed the top of my head and said, "Sure your life now is boring, but you're at a safe place where you can relax and put down your guard."
Red interjected gruffly, "Kitty. We don't want to make this too much of a safe place. What if he started to share his feelings?"
"Then he wouldn't grow up to be a sourpuss like you Red." Mrs Forman admonished her husband and then laughed.
"Let's eat!" She said as she served everything on the table for the Sunday dinner.
The words hang close to my heart. Me, a square?
I trenched through the old man's Shinkys' front yard with my car. I got into fights and I smoked pot. Well, I still do the last one.
"Have I really changed so much that people consider me a square?" I asked Fez and Kelso as we hung out in the basement.
Both of them laughed mockingly.
"Oh look at me, I have a pension plan and dental." Fez said mockingly, which made Kelso laugh even more.
"Yeah Hyde. You've become a total drag to hang out with right now. And I mean it." Kelso added.
"Yeah Hyde. We got all of your mojo now. We just came back from toilet papering the biology teacher's house." Fez said, his hands on his waist as he walked around the living room.
"Yeah. We shouldn't even hang out with you. Since you're a square, and we're the cool people." Kelso teased again.
"Hmm… I guess that's true. I'm a square now." I agreed with them, which made them laugh. "But again, if I'm not a square, I might not get tickets to see Elvis."
Both of them froze in shock.
"The King?" Kelso's voice turned shaky.
"The only one." I replied with an evil smirk. "So I assume both of you are out. Since you're much… much cooler than me now." I said it slowly, deliberately, which made them regret what they said instantly.
"Whoa–Whoa, let's not be rash here." Kelso raised his hands up and stopped me with an urgent expression. Fez whimpered slightly, full of fear and worry of being left out.
"That's great, since I have 6 tickets, and 8 people. The two cool people can get the tickets on their own." I said firmly and walked to the basement door.
"NO!" Kelso whined and grabbed my jeans.
"What the hell– Get off me!" I urgently picked up my pants as it was sliding down.
"Give me the tickets!" Kelso threatened. "Or you'll get pantsed."
"I held a record of not getting pantsed, going steady since elementary school. Do you think you can pants me right now?"
"What if I help?" Fez also tried to get my pants off.
The basement door opened, and we froze at an unfortunate position.
"Um… Should I come back?" Donna smirked, trying hard to contain her laughter as she saw both Fez and Kelso on their knees, and my pants were slightly down.
They quickly stood up and cleared their throats gruffly. Kelso said to Donna seriously, "We're just trying to pants him. Nothing more."
"Are you sure? It doesn't look like it." Donna teased.
Fez whimpered and said, "Oh no. I'm not going to beat the rumor…"
All of us looked at Fez with a confused expression.
Donna shook it off and asked, "What are you guys up to?"
"Nothing." Kelso and Fez replied.
"Good, cause I'm thinking we can all go see a movie." Donna replied.
"I'm going to meet Brooke." I said casually. Donna grinned and asked, "Really? Are you two starting up again?"
"More like. Saying goodbyes. She's leaving for Illinois tomorrow." I told her.
"Oh." Donna exclaimed with disappointment.
I drove my car to Brooke's apartment. Her stuff was already packed up into boxes. It was placed near the entrance. I held a golden paper bag in my right hand, hiding it slightly from her.
"Oh. Hey." Brooke's eyes widened slightly as she saw me. "What are you doing here?"
"Do you need help packing up?" I asked.
"That's a nice gesture, but I'm already finished." She replied as she let me inside the house.
"Cool, because… I won the bet." I took out the bunny costume from the bag.
Brooke was flabbergasted, and blushed heavily as she remembered the bet. If I wasn't beat up within a week, she'd wear a bunny costume for me.
"Fine." She agreed with a sigh. I smiled in elation and raised my eyebrows to tease her.
…
"Don't spread the picture. Don't show it to anyone else." Brooke said seriously while she wore the bunny outfit.
She didn't want me to stay, since we already crossed the line a couple times while I was there, doing some role play.
She will be leaving tomorrow. I wanted to stay with her more, but she was adamant that it would make the farewell worse if I stayed behind.
Therefore, I left and went back to the basement with a queasy feeling in my stomach that I desperately needed to wash away with either booze or with doing something stupid.
"Hey Kelso." I called.
"What?" He turned to me, Jackie at his side.
"Want to tear up the town?" I asked casually.
He stood up instantly and shouted, "HELL YEAH!"
"Micheal! You said we're going to spend the night together!" Jackie scolded him.
"I'm sorry Jackie. But it's been a while since Hyde asked me to do something stupid–" Kelso turned to me and asked with a whisper, "How stupid are we talking about here?"
"We'll shoot rockets at each other while driving our car." I replied.
"SWEET!" Kelso agreed instantly.
"Steven! That's really dangerous!" Jackie said to me. "You're going to get Micheal hurt."
"Jackie!" Kelso whined as he turned to his girlfriend who was grabbing his sleeves. "That sounds really fun! I want to do that!"
"Micheal!" Jackie called, fully serious. "You're not doing that Micheal!"
"Fine. I'll call Fez." I said casually.
"NO! Don't call Fez! I want to do it! Fez don't even have a car!" Kelso said begrudgingly, but he couldn't escape.
"What if, we go skinny dipping at the lake again?" Kelso tried to steer me away from the bottle rocket car race.
"It's not fun without any girls." I replied.
"Jackie's a girl." Kelso said to me.
Jackie gasped and pinched him in the stomach. "Oww! What's wrong with you!? You never let me do anything fun!" He yelled seriously.
"NEVER LET YOU DO!? You do everything you want! You never even thought about my feelings!" Jackie snapped at him.
I realized I had accidentally instigated a war between them, and got out of the door. Then, I went to Eric's room and said, "Want to go bottle rocket car racing with me?"
"What's that– You know what, I don't even need to know. Let's go." Eric agreed instantly.
We drove around town, me in the Chevelle, him in the Vista Cruiser, shooting bottle rockets at each other's cars. Donna went with Eric, and I forced Fez out of his bed to come with me.
The fireworks exploded in front of my car as I drove down the dark street. The music blasting off like mad, and Fez whimpering fearfully, all together made for a sweet night.
"I'm going to die in a foreign land!" Fez cried slightly. "Help me!!"
His prayers were answered as a cop siren sounded behind us.
"Oh damn it."