The medical bay in the Romano sub-level was a stark, clinical contrast to the rain-soaked chaos of the docks. The scent of antiseptic and ozone replaced the iron tang of blood. Killian sat on the edge of the examination table, his tactical vest discarded on the floor. His torso was a map of violence, long, jagged gashes from Julian's claws ran across his ribs, sluggishly weeping dark, thick blood.
Lexa dismissed the medics with a sharp flick of her wrist. She needed to do this herself. Her hands were still trembling, a combination of the fading adrenaline and the sight of Killian's skin torn open in her defense. She picked up a bowl of warm water and a sterile sponge, her movements mechanical.
"You should have let the doctor handle the stitches," Killian rasped. His voice was deep, vibrating through the small room. He watched her every move, his amber eyes tracking the way her breathing hitched as she dipped the sponge into the water.
"Doctors ask questions. Doctors talk," Lexa replied, her voice tight. She stepped between his massive thighs, leaning in to dab at the deepest wound on his chest.
The moment she touched him, the air in the room seemed to vanish. The heat radiating off his skin was immense, a physical force that made her own skin prickle. It had been five years.
Five years of cold beds, of iron-clad control, of being a "Queen" who touched no one and let no one touch her. But as she wiped the blood away, her fingers brushed against the hard, corded muscle of his abdomen.
Lexa gasped softly, the sound catching in her throat. The "Shadow Queen" mask didn't just crack; it shattered. The physical proximity, the smell of him, rain, forest, and male triggered a primal hunger she had buried under layers of steel and silk.
She looked up, and her gaze met his. Killian wasn't looking at his wounds. He was looking at her with a raw, agonizing intensity.
"Lexa," he breathed.
She didn't answer with words. She dropped the sponge. Her hands flew to his face, her fingers tangling in his damp hair as she pulled him down. When their lips touched, it wasn't a soft reunion; it was a collision. It was desperate, fueled by years of starvation and the terrifying high of the battle they had just survived.
Lexa let out a soft moan against his mouth, her body arching into his. She wanted more. She wanted the friction, the heat, the weight of him. She felt his hands grip her waist, his large palms spanning the curve of her hips, and for a moment, she let herself be vulnerable. She let herself be the woman who had once loved this monster with everything she had.
She began to trail kisses down his jaw, her breath hot against his skin. Her hands moved to his chest, her nails digging into his shoulders as she tried to pull him closer, her body humming with a desperate, frantic need. She was horny, yes, but it was deeper, it was a craving for the touch she had denied herself for half a decade.
"Killian, please," she whispered, her voice thick with desire, her lips searching for him again. "Just tonight. Don't think. Just... touch me."
She tried to pull his head back down to hers, but Killian's hands moved from her hips to her shoulders. With a firm but gentle pressure, he retracted, creating a few inches of agonizing space between them.
"Lexa, stop," he said, his voice a low, pained rumble.
"No," she gasped, her eyes clouded with lust. She reached for the buckle of his belt, her movements hurried. "I don't care about tomorrow. I just want this. Now. It's been so long, Killian. One time. Just give me this one time."
She leaned in again, planting frantic kisses on his chest, over his heart, her lips moving up to his neck where the collar still sat. "I want you," she murmured against his skin.
"Is this what you really want?" Killian asked, his voice steadying even as his own breath came in ragged bursts. He caught her wrists, holding them gently but firmly away from his body. "Or is this just the adrenaline and the hunger?"
"Does it matter?" Lexa snapped, trying to pull her hands free to reach for him again. She leaned forward, her lips brushing his. "Yes, I want it. Kiss me, Killian. Shut up and kiss me."
Killian leaned in and kissed her, a deep, lingering caress that tasted of salt and longing but he pulled away again before it could spiral.
He looked into her eyes, his molten gold gaze searching her soul.
"It matters to me," he said softly. "Lexa, I am so sorry. For everything. For the way I treated you, for the rejection, for leaving you to face the world alone when you were carrying my child. No woman deserves that. No mate deserves to be thrown away like trash."
"I don't want an apology right now, Killian!" Lexa interrupted, her voice rising in frustration. She tried to press her body against his again. "I want to feel alive!"
"Listen to me," he commanded, his Alpha tone making her pause for a split second. "I looked for you. For years, I sent scouts. I went to Italy, I burned through my favors. I thought you were dead. I thought I had failed the bond so badly that the universe had taken you back. I failed as an Alpha, and I failed as your mate."
Lexa's eyes filled with tears she didn't want him to see. She tried to turn away, but he held her face in his hands.
"Seeing you again... it sparked everything back," Killian continued, his thumb brushing over her lower lip. "The bond, the love, the fire, it's all there, screaming in my blood. But I don't want this to be just sex, Lexa. I don't want it to be a moment of weakness that you regret when the sun comes up."
"I won't regret it!" she cried out, her frustration boiling over. She tried to bridge the gap again, her lips reaching for his. "Killian, just shut up. I'm telling you I want this!"
"I want it to be mutual," he said, his voice firm. "I want you to look at me and see more than just a body. I want you to feel that love again, Lexa. I want the Queen to choose her King because she wants him, not because she's lonely or horny. I won't take you like this. Not until we're both whole."
Lexa froze. The rejection stung different from the first time, but still a sharp blow to her pride. She looked at him, her chest heaving, the lust in her blood turning into a hot, bitter anger. She felt exposed. She had let him see the cracks, she had offered him her body, and he had told her no.
"You're an idiot," she spat, her voice trembling with rage. She ripped her wrists from his grip and stood up, smoothing her tactical vest with shaking hands. "You think this is about love? You think I still have room for that in my life? You're just a tool, Killian. I wanted to use you, and you were too 'noble' to let me."
"Lexa.."
"Get out," she whispered, her back to him as the ice slammed back into place, thicker and colder than ever. "I understand perfectly. You want a fairy tale, and I live in the shadows. Get out of my presence. Go back to your basement, Alpha. We have a shipment to process in the morning."
Killian stood up, the pain in his ribs nothing compared to the look on her face. He opened his mouth to speak, but the dead, vacant look in her eyes stopped him. He had won the battle for his soul, but he had just lost another piece of her heart.
He turned and walked toward the door, the heavy steel thudding shut behind him, leaving Lexa alone in the cold, white light of the med-bay.