Rem's Love
「"..."」
「Crusch Karsten could not help but let a somber expression cloud her face.」
「"My, my, how unfortunate," Felix shrugged from the side. "Lady Karsten was actually considering approaching you for a deal to lease your ground dragons recently. You've arrived exactly when we're about to see guests out, nya, Sir Hikigaya Hachiman-nya."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman frowned, trying to push further: "I would be quite happy to lease my ground dragons to you, Lady Karsten, provided you lease yours to me first. It won't be for long—if you aren't in a hurry?"」
「Karsten's refusal was decisive, leaving no room for negotiation. "It seems I must let Sir Hikigaya make this trip in vain."」
「At that moment, the butler of the Karsten house, the Sword Demon Wilhelm Astrea, stepped in. He announced the arrival of a new guest: the great merchant Russell Fellow.」
「"This..." Karsten looked at Hikigaya and Rem. "Forgive me. If you don't mind, please wait here for a while. I must excuse myself."」
「"No matter. It is I who am intruding, Lady Karsten. Go tend to your business. I'll borrow Felix from you a bit later."」
「Hikigaya twiddled a strand of his hair with his fingertip. If he could find out what goal Karsten had in mind for such a large number of ground dragons, he could prescribe the right remedy, making the lease much easier. Unfortunately, it was her secret; she wouldn't disclose it so generously.」
「Karsten and Felix departed, leaving two guards at the entrance of the waiting room.」
「Hikigaya acted as if the two were non-existent; at this distance, it was impossible for them to eavesdrop. He casually brewed two cups of tea and patted the sofa. "Sit, Rem. I have some things to discuss with you."」
「Rem shook her head. "This is Lady Karsten's mansion. Rem must maintain proper etiquette."」
「"If it's to preserve Emilia's or my dignity, don't bother. From the moment Emilia hurriedly sent me here, we had already lost face in Karsten's eyes." Hikigaya beckoned her, appealing to her logic while remaining firm. He had mastered the ultimate trump card for dealing with this maid: "Do I have to beg you, Rem?"」
「A gust of wind passed.」
「In an instant, the blue-haired maid was sitting obediently on the sofa, right beside the person she loved. They were pressed close together, and even her eyes radiated happiness.」
「"Don't force yourself. Tell me if you can. If you can't or don't want to, don't push yourself." Having no time to dwell on their proximity, Hikigaya took a deep breath and cut straight to the chase, lowering his voice: "Rem, do you have some kind of grudge against the Witch Cult?"」
「"..."」
「Rem's smile vanished. The colossal hatred within her was fundamentally impossible to suppress. If the person asking hadn't been Hikigaya Hachiman, she would likely have already met them with a ferocious interrogation and a morning star strike.」
「After a silence lasting several minutes, the despondent girl began to recount her past with a voice trembling with self-reproach and regret.」
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"The Witch Cult... they deserve to die!"
Julius Juukulius, Reinhard von Astrea, and the other knights of Lugunica all felt a deep sense of shame and were reflecting on themselves.
"Bloody massacre cases like these—there are far more than just these two. It is our failure that we have allowed these lunatics of the Witch Cult, who despise human life, to run rampant for so long."
Julius looked hopefully at the screen, at the man he had recognized as his dear friend. "Hikigaya Hachiman, I hope you can exterminate them... I sincerely wish for your success!"
On Earth, many people had been unable to stop themselves from vomiting on the spot upon seeing the corpses strewn across the Mathers Roswaal territory. The stench of death was thick even through the screen.
The reason many could hold on was the expectation of Hikigaya's subsequent counter-attack. Now, after hearing Rem's past, everyone had yet another reason to want to tear the Witch Cult into a thousand pieces.
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「"..." Hikigaya showed no pity. The gaze he turned toward this pitiful yet strong girl was one of—genuine cherish and a shared sense of enmity.」
「He synthesized all the information. "So, Ram's horn is already broken, and once you use yours, your combat power reaches its peak, but you lose your sanity as a result. If the horn breaks, your power drops."」
「"Yes." Rem hung her head, feeling an indescribable fear in her heart—fear that Hikigaya would be disappointed in her for having such a massive flaw.」
「Hikigaya was indeed disappointed, but not in Rem. He was disappointed in himself, whose strength could only barely manage self-preservation and could not serve as a combat force like the powerful Rem.」
「"I have a bold plan. Are you willing to cooperate and try it with me, Rem?"」
「He placed both hands on the girl's shoulders. "Listen to me. Don't worry about where I got the intel—the Witch Cult will soon attack the Mathers territory. I need your full-powered, rational combat strength. So I can only impose on you; I must impose on you."」
「"The Witch Cult?" Rem's eyes widened. She didn't doubt Hikigaya for even half a second. Her tone, mixed with hatred for the Cult, carried absolute trust for this man: "Hachiman, do you have a way for me to keep my sanity while my horn is manifest?"」
「Hikigaya said solemnly: "It will be very painful! It will be very forced! And I don't have much certainty."」
「"I will do it."」
「Rem's resolve was beyond words. "As long as I can protect Sister and protect Hachiman, Rem is willing to do anything."」
「Hikigaya looked away; he didn't have the courage to accept the brilliant gaze in this girl's eyes.」
「However, he still could not escape that brave heart of love.」
「"Rem is not very good at thinking. I can't help Hikigaya-kun, who works hard day and night, with intelligence or political affairs. Only this strength of mine can protect you. If possible, let Rem become Hikigaya-kun's shield for a lifetime. If the shield can be forged to be sturdier, Rem will only be happy."」
「"Treat Rem as your sword, treat Rem as your shield. As long as I do not stand in opposition to Sister, Rem can give anything for Hikigaya-kun. So, so... put away your guilt, please?"」
「A pair of fair, soft, and slender hands gently and tenderly cupped both sides of Hikigaya's face, turning his head back toward her.」
「What met his eyes was a Rem full of tender affection.」
「Her smile came from the heart. "Please do not show mercy. Use Rem to your heart's content. No matter the method, no matter the side effects, no matter how much pain it brings, Rem can try it."」
「The girl quietly stood on her tiptoes. Her lips were about to shyly leave Rem's unique fragrance on Hikigaya's right cheek.」
Yukinoshita: ?
"Wait, hold on a second! What kind of development is this? This is too absurd!"
Shirogane Kei couldn't accept it. She had a look of utter disbelief.
"Even I, just observing through a video, am so angry at Roswaal and Puck that I want to beat them to death. Hikigaya-senpai saw with his own eyes that Puck failed to protect Emilia, and then, as if he were just throwing a tantrum before going to sleep, he vented his anger indiscriminately and killed Rem, the mercenaries, and Senpai himself.
But... but... why doesn't he show even a hint of that? As soon as he Returned by Death, he immediately geared up to prepare a rescue plan. Is Senpai made of iron? No, is he made of steel?"
Kei's eyes burned with a fierce fire; she felt it was deeply unfair to him.
"It's absolutely ridiculous. Puck and the others are just hypocrites, aren't they? From beginning to end, the only person truly good to Emilia has been Hikigaya-senpai!"
"Kei, you're wrong. This has nothing to do with Puck or anyone else."
"Wha—"
Shirogane Miyuki understood the weight of responsibility.
What he had to carry—facing the Shinomiya family conglomerate to pull Kaguya out of that vortex—was already difficult enough. But Hikigaya Hachiman carried life after life on his back; his burden was naturally far heavier.
"It's not that Hachiman isn't condemning Puck and Roswaal; it's that those things are irrelevant right now. To stay alive, to let Emilia, the villagers, and the mercenaries stay alive—for that goal, everything else is insignificant."
"Hachiman is a human being. He has feelings, he is emotional. But he is forcing himself to suppress his emotions and use logic because..."
Miyuki spoke with a powerful, admiring tone: "His extremely gentle nature drives him to carve a path forward through the dark wilderness of death, even if he has to use himself as a foundation stone to do it."
"If he can do even that, then the infuriating actions of the likes of Roswaal and Puck are like annoying weeds by the side of the road—too trivial to mention."
He sighed. "He is strong. But a human's endurance is limited. How much longer can Hachiman suppress himself? I'm not hopeful about that; I'd actually prefer it if he exploded sooner. He'd feel better that way."
But.
That's what it means to be a man!
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「Hikigaya Hachiman's plan was simple, though it was indeed very difficult for Rem.」
「First, he requested the Sword Demon Wilhelm to act as a sparring partner, engaging in a grand battle with Rem at full power without her horn until she was exhausted and placed in a particularly sturdy room.」
「Meanwhile, he and Felix had temporary cloth dolls of Ram made and placed them in the same room.」
「"Next, manifest your horn, Rem... I will do my best to act as your punching bag without fighting back. You don't have much strength left, and you have no weapon, so I will definitely survive."」
「"I will call out to you, over and over. I'll tell you that Ram misses you; I'll tell you about the beautiful childhood memories you just shared with me. I'll try to bring you back to your senses through your bond with Ram."」
「"Don't worry about my body. Ferris is here to save my life, anyway."」
「Felix twitched his tail gloomily. "Though it makes me very angry how much you disregard your own body, nya... since it's to correct Rem-kyun's flaw, I will definitely treat you well, nya."」
「This plan wasn't just some whim born from Hachiman watching too much anime or reading too many light novels. It came from himself; he knew that a fierce fire was currently burning in his own heart, yet it was being suppressed.」
「If someone like him could suppress the flames of his own impulses, then a girl as reliable as Rem could surely try as well.」
「"Of course, if it doesn't work in the end and there's no other way... I'll break your horn. Since it isn't life-threatening, for safety's sake, I'll do what I must if it comes to that."」
「Given how terrifyingly crude the plan was and the lack of precedent, both Rem and Felix felt it would almost certainly end with a broken horn.」
「Rem nodded, showing she understood.」
「If Hachiman hadn't insisted repeatedly, she wouldn't have raised a hand against him even if it killed her.」
「As she was about to manifest her horn, she said one last thing: "Please take my suggestion into careful consideration."」
「Ripping sound—」
「Her eyes began to be infected by bloodlust. The Oni horn swaying in mana instantly stripped away the girl's consciousness, turning her into a true demon that charged recklessly with only the instinct to slaughter.」
「Bang! Bang! Bang!!」
「The sound of Hachiman colliding with the floor, walls, and even the ceiling was far too loud. Felix couldn't bear to watch; had he not placed a blessing on him before the fight, Hachiman would have been pounded into meat paste by now.」
「Felix moved a bit further away. He respected privacy and chose not to listen to the anecdotes about Rem and Ram being spat out by Hachiman as he coughed up blood.」
「"Cough, cough... Is it useless? Was I thinking too simply? Do I have to break the horn again like last time?"」
「He had called the name 'Ram' dozens of times. Rem had not only failed to stop her slaughter, but she had also torn the crooked Ram dolls into shreds.」
「"Breaking the horn isn't life-threatening, true... but Rem's strength, the combat power needed to deal with the Witch Cult..."」
「In a blur of pain, Hachiman's soul drifted back to the previous scene. Back then, Rem had stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, only to land it on the back of his hand which he had raised.」
『Please take my suggestion into careful consideration.』
「Her suggestion was... her suggestion was...」
『Rem doesn't hold much hope; it might be possible if Sister were here herself... but if Hachiman-kun were to take the initiative to kiss Rem, it might achieve a better effect than even Sister's persuasion. Rem is certain of it.』
「If it's to preserve combat power, to protect Emilia, Ram, and the villagers... then he could throw everything away... he truly had that resolve.」
「But, you've got to be kidding me. Someone like me... someone like me... someone like me, am I even worthy?!」
「"TELL ME, YUKINOSHITA!!!!"」
「Hachiman grit his teeth and shouted a name through his battered body. Suddenly, he lunged forward and hugged the charging, frenzied girl. Their two bodies pressed tightly together.」
「In that moment.」
「The crimson world of slaughter faded. The sky returned to a clear blue. A kiss on her cheek brought forth a bright future. A warm sunlight belonging only to love and the taste of a dream coming true filled the quiet, sweet atmosphere of the space.」
「Rem, with her horn still manifested, stood perfectly still!」
Such a Disgusting Person
「"Hach... iman?"」
Accompanied by Rem's slightly dazed call—a gentle voice that had returned to its true nature—her warm palm brushed against the man who had just kissed her cheek.
Kousaka Kirino lowered her head, stealing a glance at her older brother. In this moment, even a tsundere girl like her felt a stir of emotion. She finally understood the heart-wrenching charm of a girl who is frank, direct, and treats her beloved with such sincerity.
"This is true love. I... I also..." Kousaka Kirino felt a faint, vague shift within herself.
However, Kousaka Kyousuke shook his head. "You're wrong. This isn't mutual love; this is still one-sided."
"Huh?" Kousaka Kirino was stunned. "But aren't they both carrying a lot of affection for each other? Senpai Hikigaya even followed Rem-senpai's wish and took the initiative to..."
"The affection is real, but," Kousaka Kyousuke said solemnly, "if you observe closely, Hikigaya Hachiman is dodging—he is escaping. Even with his hatred for the Witch Cult and his grief over the deaths of Emilia and the villagers, which he suppresses, he is fully aware of his feelings."
"But only in the realm of romance—I don't know why—but in reality, Hikigaya Hachiman is unwilling to face it. He is even unwilling to admit to himself that he has already noticed this love."
Kousaka Kyousuke's observation was correct.
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「Rem's face was flushed. Her body still held remnants of the frenzy, but for the sake of the man she loved, she was gradually regaining control of herself.」
「But just as she was about to say something like 'I'm so happy'—a suggestive confession—a flustered Hikigaya Hachiman suddenly turned somber. He immediately pulled himself away from the girl and bolted out the door, moving as fast as if he were fleeing a life-consuming vortex.」
「His disheveled retreating figure seemed to announce: 'Don't follow me, don't come near me.'」
「Felix, standing outside the door, was momentarily stunned. Seeing the now-rational Rem, he immediately understood the situation and chased after the suddenly pained-looking Hikigaya Hachiman.」
「When he found the man, the faint sunlight fell upon Hikigaya Hachiman by the pond. His back was bathed in bright light, but his face, twisted with nausea, was deeply buried in the shadows.」
「"..."」
「Felix's astonishment reached its peak. He did not abruptly interrupt his dear friend's venting. After waiting quietly for a few minutes, he stepped forward and crouched down behind him.」
「"Rem-rin loves you, nya."」
「"I know."」
「"Ferris doesn't think you lack romantic feelings for her, nya."」
「"I know."」
「"Ferris isn't talking about physical desires, nya."」
「"I know."」
「"Then you..."」
「In this quick succession of questions and answers, Hikigaya Hachiman seemed to steady his heart. He looked up, gazing at the clear sky. Even at a time like this, he was firmly mindful of the different positions he and Felix held, so his words remained vague.」
「Rather than explaining to Felix, it was more like he was finally stopping the act of lying to himself—no longer brainwashing himself with thoughts like 'Rem couldn't possibly love me' or 'This is just my self-indulgent delusion.'」
「"I can't do it. I can't return these feelings. I am fundamentally—this is truly the third greatest mistake of my life. I can only apologize to Rem, Ferris—but I find even that hard to say."」
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Only when it came to matters of the heart did Hikigaya Hachiman appear his true age.
It wasn't cowardice, affectation, or weakness; rather, it was a rare, lifelong purity. For sincere emotions, one must respond with equally sincere and pure emotions.
But Hikigaya Hachiman... for certain reasons, could not respond. He didn't know how to respond.
To others watching the video, this was incredibly bizarre because they knew nothing of his circumstances.
Yukinoshita Yukino took a sharp breath, her back breaking into a cold sweat, her heart pounding violently.
'I know. I understand. Aside from Hikigaya-kun himself, only I understand.'
'Before he crossed over, Hikigaya-kun fell in love with me, just as I fell in love with him. We were only a thin sheet of paper away from making it official. Even without this video playing, sooner or later, when our cold war ended... we would have both realized it.'
'Hikigaya-kun is punishing himself. Even after crossing over, he still misses me and loves me, yet he felt his heart stir because of Rem's meticulous care and pure feelings—loving two girls at once, or even two and a half... Hikigaya-kun finds himself absolutely disgusting for being like this!!'
'He is a rational person, but only when facing the feelings someone offers him does he become willful, letting his sensibility overflow. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been in a cold war with me before.'
Yukinoshita Yukino peeked at her boyfriend. Clearly, he also understood why his future self had suddenly exploded.
However, there was nothing to be done. At least for now, he didn't think he had a better way to face it.
"Though I've experienced so much, a person's nature doesn't change easily—change is hard, but improvement is possible."
His future self, because of the regrets involving Yukinoshita Yukino, had already improved once. Now, would he improve again because of Rem? This was something even the current Hikigaya Hachiman could hardly predict.
「Felix could tell that Hikigaya Hachiman acknowledged him as a friend, but given their different Royal Selection camps, Hikigaya couldn't be completely open with him—at least not yet. Therefore, Felix didn't pry.」
「He simply stroked and gently patted his dear friend, treating him until Hikigaya Hachiman had thoroughly reined in his sudden burst of emotion.」
「The two returned as if nothing had happened.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman didn't really want to be near Rem right now, but to save everyone in the Mathers territory, he needed her.」
「"What a disgusting person," he said to himself.」
「It was a difficult choice—or so he thought. He lowered his head and entered the room. It took a long time to build up the courage to look at Rem, feeling as awkward and out of place as a lost child.」
「Then, he froze.」
「Rem's gloom and confusion were impossible to suppress, yet she still offered Hikigaya Hachiman her most radiant smile.」
「She knew nothing. She knew nothing of the past of the man she loved. It seemed she had inadvertently made him sad, and that pained her deeply.」
「"Rem won't make Hachiman suffer anymore," she said. "Rem will absolutely not stand in your way. Absolutely!"」
The Appearance of the White Whale
"Tch," Ayanokouji Kiyotaka frowned in extreme displeasure. "This isn't what I want to see. Romance and the like are such a nuisance; they only drag down my progress in watching Hikigaya Hachiman advance.
Can't this video of the future skip these trivial things? I haven't the slightest interest in his love life!"
He was the only one truly uninterested in this romance. In fact, even people like Horikita Suzune felt a itch of curiosity; they all hoped to see Rem achieve the beautiful outcome she deserved.
However, in the courtyard of the Mathers Roswaal mansion, a slightly despondent Rem murmured to herself: "It's over."
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「It's over.」
「Rem still loved Hikigaya Hachiman, but after realizing that her feelings troubled him, she chose to tuck her affection away. Although she remained obedient and gentle, she hid her love deep in her heart, creating an illusion—the illusion that she held no special feelings for him.」
「"How awkward, nya." Watching this pair move away with their awkward, mimicked emotions, Felix shook his head, feeling powerless to help.」
「Even if both parties were tacitly aware—since neither had amnesia—this illusion gave Hikigaya Hachiman a reason to continue deceiving himself.」
「Rem cooperated with him, and he cooperated with Rem.」
「Over the next few days, Hikigaya Hachiman spent his time gathering and summoning the group of excellent mercenaries he had only assembled much later in the previous loop, and drove back toward the Mathers territory.」
「"I'm sorry," Hikigaya Hachiman said, looking at Otto Suwen who was driving the ground dragon for him. Remembering Otto's tragic death where no corpse was left behind, Hikigaya lowered his head slightly and gave a small nod. "And, thank you, Otto."」
「"Huh? What are you saying, Mr. Hachiman? You provide the money, I provide the labor—this is the fairest of deals. You don't need to say things like that."」
「Despite his words, Otto's mood was cheerful and excited. He smiled and said, "I will get you to your destination safely. Please rest well during the trip."」
「Rest well?」
「Hikigaya Hachiman could not feel at ease. In fact, the reason he specifically asked Otto to drive instead of the equally skilled Rem was to preserve Rem's physical and mental stamina at all times.」
「"I strongly suspect the Witch Cult has already begun their move. They might be lurking around the territory."」
「The grand dragon carriage surged out of the Royal Capital.」
「Inside the carriage, Hikigaya Hachiman had finished all the thinking he needed to do. He wanted to close his eyes to avoid Rem, but closing them left him feeling insecure. When he opened them, the carriage was only so big; he would see Rem no matter what.」
「"It's almost as uncomfortable as the last few days in the Service Club."」
「His voice was neither loud nor soft; he knew Rem could hear him.」
「Why did he mention the Service Club? Hikigaya Hachiman wasn't sure. He only knew that he had bottled it up for too long; his longing for Yukinoshita had grown thicker as time accumulated.」
「Perhaps he just wanted to vent, or at least, he wanted Rem to know about his past.」
「"Service Club?" This girl, who was slightly in tune with his heart, perhaps saw through his intent. A few days after that incident, she uncharacteristically spoke to him outside of following orders.」
「"Yeah..."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman remained silent for a long time—so long that half a day might have passed—until he let out a long breath and prepared to speak.」
「"UWOOOOOOOOON——"」
「A massive animalistic cry, similar to a whale, echoed across the vast wilderness. Simultaneously, Otto, who was driving the ground dragon outside, began to shout and scream in a state of utter panic.」
「"What happened?"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman quickly opened the carriage door. The moment his head popped out and his voice fell, his face turned ash-grey. "The White Whale..."」
「The surroundings—no, it felt as if the entire world had been submerged in a white mist. For such a thick fog to appear so suddenly defied all natural weather patterns. Most importantly, there was that rumor circulating in the Capital recently.」
「"It's the White Whale! It's the White Whale!"」
「The voices of the nearby mercenaries could be heard, but the fog was so heavy they were invisible.」
「"Mr. Hachiman, please sit tight! I'm going to speed up! If we don't burst out of this white mist quickly, it'll be bad! Dammit, why did we run into the White Whale?!"」
「"UWOOOOOOOOON——"」
「The hum of the White Whale grew clearer and closer.」
「RUMBLE!!!」
「The sounds of chaos erupted nearby as mercenaries wailed. In the next moment, the earth trembled like an earthquake. Some colossal object moved across the ground, literally plowing through the earth.」
「"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!!" Otto was frantic.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman also gripped the carriage door, looking left and right. Although he could see nothing, the act itself provided a sliver of comfort—」
「No, it brought terror.」
「—An eye. A massive eye. A single eye was the size of an elephant. Such a monster truly existed. Compared to the eerie nature of the Witch Cult, the White Whale was pure, direct pressure.」
「Otto's heart skipped a beat, and he was nearly on the verge of tears. "RUN AAAAAAAWAY!!!"」
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"The White Whale—"
The calm face of the Sword Demon Wilhelm Astrea suddenly twisted. He let out a furious roar born of bone-deep hatred, his palms clenching with a sickening creak. Had this not been a screen of the future, he would have charged forward even if it meant death.
"Calm down, Old Man Wilhelm," Felix hurriedly tried to soothe him.
The appearance of the White Whale caused a stir throughout the entire Royal Capital. It meant that the Capital might not be safe for long.
"That is that monster... that White Whale!"
On the other side, the people of Earth subconsciously thought of the rumors regarding the Half-Elf Emilia—the rumors that she brings disaster.
Even Kousaka Kyousuke had a momentary lapse into suspicion: "Nothing is going right; there's danger every hour of the day. Does Emilia really bring calamity?"
He shook his head. "No, wait. As long as it isn't a forced natural disaster out of thin air, even if it attracts human-made trouble, the ones to be hated and criticized are these murderous Gut Hunters, the Witch Cult, the Mabeasts, and the White Whale. We absolutely cannot support victim-blaming!"
"Moreover, the most urgent thing right now is the safety of Hikigaya and Rem!"
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「Some poor, unlucky mercenaries were caught in the initial aftermath, but flickering lights showed that some ground dragons were still running in the mist. There were many targets.」
「But Otto, who let out a sigh of relief thinking they might escape, found his peace shattered in the very next second by that humming monster.」
「—The White Whale suddenly slammed right toward them!!」
The Witch's Caress
「The frightened ground dragon fled from the threat following its instincts, but no matter how many times it changed direction, that world-shaking magical beast would stubbornly follow time and again, opening its bloody maw—which had swallowed countless lives—over and over.」
「The lives of the ground dragon and the three people on the carriage were like flickering candles in the wind, a faint luminescence fleeing through the mist, on the verge of being extinguished.」
「"What's going on? What on earth is happening?! Weren't there others? Why is it specifically chasing us even though we've run so far? Dammit!"」
「Otto Suwen was clearly on the verge of a breakdown. Rem did not care about the driver, but to protect Hikigaya Hachiman, she silently tightened her grip on her morning star. With unwavering resolve, she said: "I will go stop the White Whale. Use that opening to escape immediately!"」
「"What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" Hikigaya Hachiman felt a surge of panic in his heart.」
「He knew some of the lore regarding the White Whale; it was said that when someone is killed by the White Whale, people's memories and records of that person's name are erased. People would know someone had died, but they would not remember specifically who that dead person was.」
「Frankly, this way of dying worried Hikigaya Hachiman greatly. According to his deductions, his "Return by Death" likely had something to do with the Witch. The Witch was indeed the pinnacle of combat power in this world, but he himself was not a Witch; he only possessed the so-called "Witch's Scent" and "Bounty."」
「Being essentially a normal person, if he were killed by a unique existence like the White Whale, could he still "Return by Death" unscathed? After returning, would a situation arise where Emilia and Rem no longer recognized him? He was deeply concerned.」
「However, at the very least, he had Return by Death. If Rem died, he didn't know if he could bring her back to life with him through a reset. Hikigaya Hachiman was truly unwilling to test the upper limits of his ability.」
「"Rem, that's an order! You and Otto retreat together! Once you're out of the white mist, coordinate with the remaining mercenaries. No matter what, you must protect Emilia and the villagers!"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman shouted at the top of his lungs. He was now sincerely glad he had a bit of talent in swordsmanship and had trained hard for two months; because of that, he could at
least act as cannonball fodder in this situation instead of being blown away by the White Whale's mere breath.
「He grabbed Rem's shoulders, trying to push her into the carriage, but—」
「"That's an order!"—the greatest weapon against this girl—suddenly lost its effect at this moment. With eyes full of both lingering affection and grim determination, Rem not only refused to obey his command but also pushed back with force, shoving him toward Otto and the ground dragon.」
「"...?"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman suddenly understood something. He agonized for half a second, then suddenly looked up. "Rem, listen to me! You must live! You only have one life, but I won't die! I have Return by De—"」
「Thump—」
Thump—
Both inside and outside the video, Hikigaya Hachiman's heart skipped a beat, followed by a dull state of shock as if paralyzed by fear. A hand was tenderly, lovingly caressing that heart of his.
Darkness, boundless darkness... a darkness that could destroy the world, destroy all things, and plunge a person into a fate more terrifying than death...
Clearer than during any Return by Death, an aura that could turn a human into a cowering ant before a tiger instantly permeated beyond the screen!
Not just Hikigaya Hachiman, but people on Earth and in the world of the Great Waterfall alike felt the terror the future him was enduring!
Under this aura, aside from the ecstatic, laughing madmen of the Witch Cult and those like Priscilla Barielle or the cold and detached Ayanokouji Kiyotaka who could still think, the vast majority of people could not help themselves; cold sweat soaked their backs and foreheads.
Even the knights of the Kingdom of Lugunica felt as if a blade were at their backs, deeply understanding their own powerlessness.
At this moment, watching the future Hikigaya Hachiman suddenly freeze, mouth agape, his body uncontrollably stiffening as if time had stopped for the world, they felt exactly as he did.
No one would blame him—blame Hikigaya Hachiman for not finishing his sentence at such a critical moment. The mastermind behind Return by Death clearly had no intention of giving him the freedom to speak of this "Bounty."
」
Amidst the billowing, surging scent of the Witch, only Reinhard van Astrea remained as free and unbothered as ever. He could draw his sword for battle at any moment, and even achieve victory—provided there was no light screen between them, and provided that mastermind, that Witch, stood right before him.
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「"What?" Rem blinked. She looked at Hikigaya Hachiman in bewilderment. What exactly was he trying to say, and why did he stop so suddenly? No, there was no time to think about that.」
「"Rem also wants to hear Hachiman's voice more, but there is no more time. Rem must go! Only Rem can go!"」
「"Wait, Rem! Listen to me first, I have an ability, I will die..."」
「The Witch squeezing his heart was indeed painful, but Hikigaya Hachiman grit his teeth. To save Rem, he could certainly endure a mere amount of pain; he had only been caught off guard just now.」
「BOOM—」
「However, the White Whale's aggressiveness suddenly increased significantly compared to before. Hikigaya Hachiman was knocked around by the tremors, his words forced to a halt once more. Before he could try to speak again, Rem had already leaped out recklessly, jumping toward the monster pursuing them—the White Whale!」
「In the air, her heavy final words still drifted before quickly dissipating.」
「"—Rem told you, for you, Rem will do anything!!"」
「RUMBLE!!!」
「The mist was heavy. Rem's indignant cry, laced with lingering attachment, overlapped with the hum of the White Whale, finally drowning in the thunderous roar of the earth.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman desperately wanted to rush out, but he simply could not help. He could only gaze anxiously out of the carriage, watching as he and the ground dragon fled past that iconic giant tree.」
「About six or seven minutes passed—six or seven agonizing, heart-wrenching minutes—until the view ahead suddenly cleared as the ground dragon burst out of the mist.」
「Finding that he still remembered Rem, an overjoyed Hikigaya Hachiman shouted to Otto: "Wait! Stop! Otto, stop here for a moment. Wait for the mist to clear, then we go back for Rem immediately!"」
「"Eh—?"」
「Otto responded blankly. "Rem... who is that? Strange, was there a person by that name among the mercenaries? Sounds like a woman's name. You must have remembered wrong, Mr. Hachiman?"」
「Rem... who is that?」
「In that instant, Hikigaya Hachiman's scalp went numb. His eyes widened, his limbs went cold, and an unbelievable realization began to sprout in his heart.」
「"You actually asked me... who is Rem?"」
The Hero Deep Behind Enemy Lines
「Hikigaya Hachiman felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar. He figured it out almost immediately: since he possessed memories within Return by Death, it seemed only natural that he would remember a Rem who had been eaten by the White Whale.」
「But... but—he would rather not have such a privilege. At the very least, that way, his remembering Rem would mean she wasn't dead!」
「"Do you really not remember? Blue hair, wearing a maid outfit, speaks gently, uses a morning star... Rem, the one who fought the White Whale to protect us!"」
「With a trembling, hoarse voice, he made a final, prayer-like attempt at verification.」
「Even in this state of combined grief and indignation that defied words, he still did not lay a hand on Otto, who had forgotten Rem.」
「Hikigaya's logic and his reason remained steadfast even at a time like this. He knew clearly that the one he should hate was the White Whale, and he should not vent his anger on Otto, who was equally innocent.」
「He appeared to be the very incarnation of the word "Rationality."」
-
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"Rem... is dead?" Ram froze for a moment. She stared fixedly at the despondent Hikigaya Hachiman. "Kill you... I'll kill you, kill you, kill you, KILL YOU!! How dare you let Rem...!!"
Rem's face showed not a single trace of regret, but she didn't know how to soothe her sister. She could only call out to her to show she was still here, alive and well: "Sister."
On the other side, Anastasia tilted her head and analyzed: "Hikigaya Hachiman is a very sentimental person, isn't he? Since he happens to have this ability, will he commit suicide? Will he go to save his maid?"
"He won't do that." Beside her, her knight Julius spoke decisively. "A man like him will not play with life so casually; he won't be that arrogant!"
Similar conversations were taking place simultaneously on Earth.
"He's so rational, he must know this was a complete defeat. No matter how you think about it, committing suicide immediately to start over is the most 'correct' move, right?"
Horikita Suzune looked at the power of Return by Death with great desire. "If it were me... if it were me..."
Ayanokouji Kiyotaka no longer looked at this ignorant woman with mere contempt or as if she were a fool; he gave a light chuckle and completely gave up on Horikita Suzune. This woman was beyond help.
"You... not only do you not understand Hikigaya Hachiman, you don't understand rationality."
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「Hikigaya Hachiman did not cry, nor did he howl. He accepted the reality with great difficulty. His lips moved slightly, yet he was still able to issue an order, telling Otto to take the ground dragon and drive around to regroup with the remaining mercenaries.」
「He returned to the carriage alone, his intellect spinning without a moment's pause.」
『The mercenaries have suffered heavy casualties, and Rem's life is gone. With this level of strength, even with intelligence, I can't beat that many Witch Cultists.』
『Suicide...』
『Although I've always believed this is Return by Death, there is no evidence to prove it. For all I know, it might actually be jumping to an earlier parallel world.』
『If it's a passive death, so be it. I'd be ashamed, but it couldn't be helped. But if it truly is a parallel world, then I would be a total coward running away, leaving this mess for Emilia to face alone—I'd even leave her to face the mystery of why her knight suddenly committed suicide for no reason.』
「"How could I possibly... do something like that!"」
「"I can die, but I must die with value. At the very least, I have to save Emilia and the villagers. I can't let Rem's protection be in vain!!"」
「"I will do what I can do. I will do what I ought to do!!!"」
『To that end, even if it means not saving Rem despite having the ability... even so, even so—』
「From outside the carriage came Otto's slightly relieved voice. "Mr. Hachiman, great news! The mercenaries are just ahead!"」
「When the two groups merged, the surviving mercenaries showed no sadness. Perhaps their comrades had died in the White Whale's maw, but since the relevant memories were erased, all they felt was the lingering fear of survivors.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman looked at this group of defeated soldiers and made a decision. "Let's go. Keep moving forward."」
「He was at his wits' end. A desperate decision... just saving Emilia and the others is enough... transfer everyone to the Capital as a defeated force—who cares about the Royal Selection when living lives are at stake!」
「However, nothing went smoothly.」
「On the way, the Mabeasts wandering nearby seemed to lose their survival instinct, attacking the exhausted team one after another. This alarmed Hikigaya, who had pulled out his phone to check the time, calculating the specific time and location they encountered the White Whale.」
「Though they wiped out the Mabeasts, the mercenaries became increasingly jumpy, complaining about why the Mabeasts were so interested in them.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman suddenly recalled Otto's frantic words while they were being chased by the White Whale; Otto had been questioning the air, wondering why the White Whale was interested specifically in his carriage.」
「Indeed, why?」
「These Mabeasts and the White Whale—there's a sense of déjà vu, a commonality. Their target...」
「"Stop!"」
「During his musing, the team entered a forest. The forest was eerily quiet; there was nothing but the voices of the mercenaries. A familiar sense of wrongness appeared.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman leaped out of the carriage. He looked around and, amidst the bewildered stares of the mercenaries, shouted once more: "All of you, come out!"」
「Numerous black shadows appeared obediently and silently, causing the mercenaries and Otto to jump in fright.」
「But Hikigaya felt a sense of sudden realization. He spoke quite bluntly: "Take me to see your leader."」
「The shadows lined up in a row, pointing out a path.」
「"Mr. Hachiman, what on earth..."」
「Otto looked at him in shock; even the ground dragon stared at him.」
「"No time to explain. Long story short, the mission has changed." Hikigaya Hachiman shook his head slightly in sadness. He handed his sword to Otto and lowered his voice.」
「"You don't need to fight anymore. My task for you now is: take my token and explain the situation to Emilia. Have her, Ram, Beako, and the villagers go to the Capital with you. Immediately!"」
「"Then, I will buy time for you... Tell Emilia that if she doesn't leave right now, I'll stop being her knight."」
「Those words followed several deep breaths, saturated with self-reproach.」
「Otto and the mercenaries stood dazed. In the face of the overwhelming number of Witch Cultists, they could hardly speak. They could only nod, and then...」
「They watched the back of this man who looked death in the face as he walked away, along with that final instruction.」
「"You are not allowed to harm these people. Let them pass!"」
Emilia is No Damsel in Distress!
"Enough! It's enough! You've already done far, far too much!"
Emilia shook her head, her fair, slender hands clasped tightly before her chest. Her eyelids drooped, and she was so anxious that tears were on the verge of falling. "Why do you cherish yourself so little? Why do you place so much importance on me? Sacrificing yourself like that... does someone like me, being saved in such a way, truly have the right to receive this?"
At this point, even Puck was speechless.
It was only logical for it to give everything for Lia, but why on earth was Hikigaya Hachiman doing this? Was it simply because Lia had saved him once and was beautiful? Or was it because of his inherent kindness?
"What... are you actually thinking, Hikigaya Hachiman?"
Compared to the moved yet bewildered Emilia:
"Hiss!"
Shirogane Miyuki took a sharp breath, filled with both admiration and helplessness.
"I suppose I should say, 'as expected of Hikigaya Hachiman.' His initiative is simply absurd. Although I more or less guessed from the name that he might receive special treatment from the Witch Cult due to the 'Witch's Scent,' thinking of it and immediately acting on it is truly impressive."
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「"It seems I bet correctly."」
「The Witch's Scent.」
「Rem had told him that Return by Death would cause this scent to increase.」
「If there was anything special about him, this scent was the only thing Hikigaya Hachiman possessed. From the abnormal patterns of the White Whale and the Mabeasts, he could deduce that this scent likely drives Mabeasts into a frenzy and attracts them.」
「And as it turned out, this scent could also grant him entry into the inner circle of the Witch Cult.」
「"Truly a multi-purpose tool... Heh."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman's self-mocking voice dissipated as he reached the end of the path and saw that emaciated man.」
「A man so thin he seemed to be nothing but skin and bones, with green hair, his body twisted at an anti-human ninety-degree angle, and eyes that constantly radiated an eerie light of madness.」
「The moment anyone laid eyes on him, they would instantly realize: this is a lunatic.」
「"Oh ya? Oh ya oh ya oh ya oh ya oh ya—this is truly, truly interesting, hahahaha!"」
「He leaned close to the expressionless Hikigaya Hachiman, frowning deeply. "You... couldn't possibly be Pride, could you?"」
「Then he immediately rejected his own thought.」
「"No, no no no no no no no no! Those eyes! That attitude! That spirit! That soul! Ah, aaaaaaaaaah—only the seat of Pride remains vacant among the Sin Archbishops. Aside from the Archbishops, why? Why why why why why why does someone else possess such a Bounty? Such favor?"」
「"Ah, aaaaaaaaaah—ah, my brain... is trembling!!!!"」
-
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"This lunatic!"
Felt was terrified. She didn't fear the Bowel Hunter Elsa; she would only feel rage toward a murderer. But this Sin Archbishop, with his erratic, unpredictable, and bizarre performance—this unknown—chilled even her heart.
Reinhard van Astrea pursed his lips, silently offering a blessing.
"Stay strong... my dear friend. If you were to die at the hands of such a person, it would be far too much of a torment."
-
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「The lunatic, who was rambling one second, suddenly froze the next. He chewed on his own fingers thoughtfully until they bled, then burst into laughter.」
「"Ah, ah, come to think of it, I have been most impolite—I am the Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, representing Sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti, hee-hee-hee-hee-hee—"」
「"Hmm?" He pressed his face right in front of Hikigaya Hachiman, looking puzzled. "You... why do you not speak? Why do you not answer? Why are you not diligent? Why are you so slothful?"」
「"Ah, ah, sloth, truly slothful indeed—my brain is trem-trem-trembling!!"」
「"..." Hikigaya Hachiman admitted defeat.」
「In the realm of psychological warfare and reading people, he had suffered his first crushing defeat today. He couldn't imagine what the behavioral logic of a thoroughbred lunatic would be; he only knew that a sane person should best avoid trying to understand a madman.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman stared straight into the eyes of Sloth, making no effort to hide his fury toward the Witch Cult, because such things could not be hidden from a madman.」
「"I want to hear your entire plan—about why you want to kill Emilia."」
「So, he laid his cards on the table.」
「The opponent is a lunatic... Hikigaya Hachiman reminded himself. Facing a madman, this was the only way.」
「"Kill?" Sloth's bloodshot eyeballs vibrated. "No, no no no no no, this is an Ordeal, an ordeal—yes, an ordeal—for you."」
「He ignored Hikigaya Hachiman's rage. His disgusting action of gnawing on his fingers suddenly stopped, and from his robes, he pulled out a book with an expression of total reverence.」
「Sloth flipped through the book back and forth repeatedly, as if something were wrong. "No, no no no no, it's not right! It's not right!"」
「He turned his gaze back to Hikigaya Hachiman eerily. "You—where is your Gospel?"」
「At that moment, Hikigaya Hachiman knew he was dead.」
「No matter how he argued, it would only increase Sloth's amusement. This Sin Archbishop clearly knew the truth in his heart.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman lamented his own incompetence. Though his intelligence was passable, it didn't mean he could see through everyone or solve every predicament. Otherwise, back at Sobu High, he wouldn't have had to resort to being a 'self-destruct truck.' This was precisely proof that he wasn't smart enough, that he lacked the ability to have it both ways.」
「"Where... is your... Gospel?"」
「If you want to play, let's play. If you want a game, I'll play along until the end; I need to buy time—just as he was about to speak, Sloth changed his mind, abandoning the act of playing dumb. For a supposedly 'Slothful' Archbishop, he was incredibly talkative.」
「"Ah, aaaaaaaaaah—you truly are—Sloth·ful, aren't you?"」
「Unpredictably, Sloth's mood shifted from curiosity to desire, from teasing to explosive rage. In an instant, this filthy creature became fractured and maddened.」
「"Authority of Sloth: Unseen Hand—"」
「Rip!」
「As blood splattered everywhere, in an act of violence surpassing the Bowel Hunter's disembowelment, surpassing Rem's slaughter, and surpassing Puck's freezing, Hikigaya Hachiman's limbs were simultaneously twisted into pretzels. His bones made sickening cracking sounds. Next was his waist, then his body, and finally his neck.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman's eyeballs moved. He was looking. He was looking—」
「"You can see them?"」
「Sloth forgot to breathe. His face was filled with disbelief. In his final moments, Hikigaya Hachiman saw and heard a new piece of intelligence.」
「"Can you see them? Can you see them? You can see them? You can see them? No, no no no no—you CAN see them! You can see them!!"」
「It was...」
「A swarm of pitch-black, shadowy arms expanding from within Sloth's body, covering the sky. Their length could stretch at will, they moved freely, possessed extremely high attack power, and likely reeked of the Witch's Scent.」
「I see. Other people can't see them? This is the power of a Sin Archbishop, the strength of an Archbishop?」
『Next time... next time I will—』
「BOOM!!」
「As his consciousness began to drift away, a series of explosions from afar suddenly pulled the nearly-dead Hikigaya Hachiman back. In that final flash of clarity, he heard a hoarse scream, a heart-wrenching cry, a scream that snapped his rational mind.」
「"Where are you? Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU, HACHIMAN!!!!"」
The Fifth Death
「"Emi... lia?"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman's pupils shrank. His body, nearly twisted into a pretzel, suddenly erupted with unexpected strength. The instinct for survival supported his consciousness, driving his neck to turn and his overburdened body to rotate. From the corner of his eye, he saw the figure that had once saved him.」
「"Why? Why did you come here? Why didn't you run away? Why, why—Emilia!!"」
「His skills were inferior; he had no way to find a psychological weakness in Petelgeuse through short-term observation. This was already something Hikigaya Hachiman deeply regretted.」
「He felt remorse, he felt pain, but he was prepared to die with a clear conscience—he had done all he could. If death still came, he would simply have to acknowledge his own powerlessness and his opponent's strength. But if he had saved the person he intended to save, he could die without regrets.」
「But... what if the person he intended to save wasn't saved at all?」
「"Run, run... why did you come here? Leave quickly, Emilia!"」
「Murmurs as faint as a mosquito's buzz were accompanied by coughed-up blood. His fractured spine pierced his internal organs, and his lungs struggled to breathe. Only a pair of eyes, stimulated by panic and refusing to close, declared his lingering hold on life.」
「"Oh ya? Oh ya oh ya oh ya! This is truly, truly wonderful! The best! Peerless! Number one in the world! Ah hahahahahahaha!"」
「The frenzied Petelgeuse took a step forward. In the next moment, his body bent at a ninety-degree angle as he looked blankly at his foot. There, the mangled hand of the barely-alive Hikigaya Hachiman had latched onto him.」
「"Ah, ah... you are... you are diligent, aren't you? How diligent, how diligent."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman could no longer make a sound; his vocal cords were completely destroyed. He watched helplessly as Petelgeuse, while praising him, sprouted countless terrifying arms from his back, reaching toward—」
「Snap.」
「Absolute silence.」
「The sound of ice crystals being projected, the sound of bodies moving, the sound of frantic anxiety, the sound of caring about his whereabouts, the voices of people who regarded Hikigaya Hachiman as someone incredibly important—all vanished in an instant.」
「"Sloth-ful, aren't you~"」
「Evaluating the half-elf who had fallen silent after losing her life, Petelgeuse shook his head regretfully. He squatted down, cradling the lifeless Hikigaya Hachiman, whose eyes remained wide open in death.」
「"You are the one who is dil-i-gent~"」
「As soon as he spoke, Petelgeuse sat down. He could no longer squat—his foot, in that very last moment, had had its bones crushed by that man who, by all logic, should not have had a single ounce of strength left in his dying breath.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman, the fifth death.」
-
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"..."
Crusch slowly exhaled a heavy breath, feeling pained for Sir Hikigaya, whom she desperately wanted to recruit.
"He would rather sacrifice himself to buy time for others to retreat, but in the end, it turned out to be harmful to the person he cared about, causing Emilia to take the initiative to find the Witch Cult, leading to an even faster death."
"The guilt Sir Hikigaya feels will likely expand from a gentle stream into a surging sea after this Return by Death."
The Sword Demon Wilhelm Astrea was deeply moved. He thought of his own wife. Watching Hikigaya Hachiman and Emilia, who both disregarded everything for the sake of the other and lost their lives as a result, he said in a low voice: "This cannot be blamed on him, nor can it be blamed on Lady Emilia.
From Sir Hikigaya's perspective, this was his best choice—however, he calculated everything except for one point: Lady Emilia's gratitude toward him made it impossible for her to abandon him!
Moreover, what Lady Emilia feels for Sir Hikigaya is certainly more than just simple gratitude... if she were the type to abandon Sir Hikigaya to save her own life, then she wouldn't be Lady Emilia.
Standing at different perspectives, they made opposing choices. But behind those diametrically opposed actions, that burning affection was shockingly identical.
Fate truly toys with people."
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While observers felt regret, in the streets of the Royal Capital, a clear sense of relief flashed through Emilia's tearful eyes amidst her guilt. It was like a weight had been lifted.
"That's good... Puck, did you see? I am, I am... sob..."
She was sorry, truly sorry to him. But if she hadn't done that... then she would be the one least qualified to face him!
The emotional girl hugged Puck, but Puck couldn't bring itself to be happy. It only wanted to see the Witch Cult annihilated right now! It would level the entire Cult to the ground, for sure!
For a moment, some people thought Emilia was a "pig teammate" who wasted Hikigaya Hachiman's good intentions. However, under the explanation of the wise, by putting themselves in her shoes, they realized...
That Emilia would run back to save Hikigaya Hachiman was actually proof that this girl was worth Hikigaya's repeated efforts to help her.
"That is Emilia, after all."
The Nakano sisters, and even Uesugi Fuutarou, who was extremely dense regarding romance, were moved.
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At the same time, Hikigaya Hachiman at the convenience store stood as stiff as a wooden statue.
His eyes were bloodshot and filled with hatred—both for Petelgeuse and for himself.
"I was too rational... so rational that I ignored emotions because I was always running away."
"Stopping the 'riddle-talk' didn't mean I had the courage to face feelings. I was always indulging in the fantasy I created where 'no one would fall in love with me, don't get ahead of yourself,' so of course, I didn't think Emilia would turn back to save me."
"Saving someone from three thugs versus saving someone from the Witch Cult—the difficulty is worlds apart. I naturally assumed she wouldn't fail to understand how to seek gain and avoid harm—I overestimated myself, and then..."
"I underestimated Emilia!!"
This was the Genuine Thing.
Undoubtedly, a shimmering, Genuine Thing.
The girl named Emilia was like the personification of the Genuine Thing.
Yukinoshita Yukino covered her forehead, feeling like her "brain was trembling."
It's over.
Now it's not two-and-a-half, it's a solid three, and it's even possible... Emilia is in the first position.
Hikigaya Hachiman isn't the type to value someone simply because they ran back to save him; what he values is the meaning behind it. If it is the [Genuine Thing], it's fine. Even if it wasn't saving a life, but just brewing a cup of tea for him—if that was the [Genuine Thing], it would be enough!
If before this, Hikigaya Hachiman saved and helped Emilia because she had saved him once, because of her kindness, and because he couldn't bear to see a life fade away...
Then from now on, none of those things mattered anymore.
He had only one reason for his actions, and that one was enough.
Yukinoshita Yukino whispered to herself:
"Emilia... she is the Genuine Thing that Hikigaya-kun has been searching for his entire life!"
Tell Me, Rem
"I'm sorry," Hikigaya Hachiman whispered. He wanted to distance himself from the girl beside him, his eyelids drooping, his soul enveloped in a thick shroud of shame.
Yukinoshita Yukino knew exactly what he was apologizing for.
"Hey, Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita tried to force a smile, but it wouldn't come; her voice was raspy. "It's not just the future you... the current you was also touched by Emilia, and clearly felt your heart stir for her, didn't you?"
"I—"
Hikigaya Hachiman opened his mouth. He wanted to scold himself severely, but he couldn't. Because the thing he felt for was such a dazzling Genuine Thing; if he cursed himself, wouldn't that be equivalent to denying the Genuine Thing itself?
"It's okay, it's okay..." Yukinoshita Yukino still held his hand, resting her head on his shoulder, refusing to leave. Her voice contained jealousy, but more so the sound of gritting her teeth in self-consolation. "At the very least, the real-life Hikigaya-kun... the proportion of your love for me is the heaviest... right?"
She had lost her nerve; the last sentence was trembling.
Hikigaya Hachiman felt he no longer had the right to answer, but he had to. His answer was unambiguous: "Yeah!"
Yukinoshita Yukino gave a smile that looked more painful than crying.
"But the future Hikigaya-kun is already drifting further and further away from me."
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「Creak.」
「The sound of a door opening. Entering with a tray of carefully prepared medicinal soup, the first thing that met the eye was Hikigaya Hachiman, his body trembling slightly with rage, his fists clenched. Since they had met, it was the first time he had displayed a specific emotion so overtly.」
「Rem was momentarily stunned.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman, seeing her, was also stunned.」
「"Hach..."」
「Rem had barely started to speak when a spark of light suddenly appeared in Hikigaya Hachiman's dull pupils. He hurried forward, like a beggar seeing a mountain of gold, stumbling over himself, heedless of the fact that he nearly fell.」
「The tray with the soup was haphazardly moved to the table by the man.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman grabbed the bewildered, blushing Rem. He touched her hands, her shoulders, her face, her hair, her waist, her thighs—without any sexual intent whatsoever. He seemed to be fearing something, asking tentatively: "Rem?"」
「"Yes...?" The confused Rem nodded obediently. "Rem is here."」
「Thud.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman, uncontrollably showing an expression of relief, lost his strength. His whole body went soft, and he sat despondently on the floor, looking up at this living, breathing Rem.」
「"Rem," he called out softly.」
「"Yes."」
「A bewildered Rem blinked. she smoothed her skirt, her legs pressed together, and without minding the dirt, she sat down on the floor just like that.」
「"Um, did something hap—"」
「"Rem."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman's tone was a chaotic mix of peace of mind, relief, lingering fear, joy, determination, and—making up the largest portion—apology.」
「"I'm sorry," he said.」
「"Eh? Why so suddenly..."」
「"I'm sorry."」
「"Why do you have to..."」
「"I'm sorry."」
「Amidst these repeated apologies, Rem slowly closed her mouth.」
「She could see it in the eyes of the man before her—she saw his refusal to give up. This act of apologizing was something he wanted to do from the bottom of his heart. If he couldn't finish the apology from beginning to end, Hikigaya Hachiman would likely say nothing and do nothing else.」
「"I'm sorry."」
『When you saw your sister's remains, I was only concerned with my rage over the deaths of Emilia and the villagers. Up until the moment you were frozen to death by Puck, you were carrying endless sorrow.』
「"Mm."」
『I don't understand, I don't know, I don't comprehend... but if accepting an apology can help you, even if it makes my conscience uneasy, then Rem can listen, can accept.』
「"I'm sorry."」
『Because of my own pain, I fled from your affection. From your perspective, it probably seemed like 'this man not only doesn't love me, he's not even interested in hearing my confession and finds it repulsive.' I didn't care for your feelings; I, too, have moments of such selfishness.』
「"Mm."」
『Rem will accept it all, place it all safely. If you are in a bad mood, Rem can be the listener for your inner frustrations anytime, anywhere.』
「"I'm sorry."」
『I spoke with grand ambitions of taking you back to Roswaal's territory, of saving the tragedy, of rescuing your sister—yet I let you die in the belly of the White Whale before you could even see your sister one last time.』
「"Mm."」
『Rem's world is very small, so small it only contains you and Sister. Therefore, Rem is willing to do anything for you. Absolutely.』
「Apology after apology, saturated with complex emotions, was dissolved by those gentle, obedient responses.」
「A slight look of serenity appeared on Hikigaya Hachiman's face. The atmosphere in the room at this second was so beautiful he almost wanted to indulge in it.」
「But he knew he couldn't stop, shouldn't stop. He had to personally shatter this beautiful atmosphere.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman took a deep breath. He stared straight at Rem, and the girl met his gaze.」
「Hikigaya Hachiman did not lose emotional control, did not shout, and did not burst into tears—or rather, the fact that he could stop hiding himself and show true emotion in front of someone else was already the greatest manifestation of his emotional loss of control.」
「After two seconds of silence, Hikigaya Hachiman said calmly: "Do you like me, Rem?"」
「"Mm, I like you," Rem smiled sweetly. "Rem likes Hachiman, likes you, loves you, wants to be with you, wants to monopolize you, wants to be your girlfriend, wants to marry you. Rem wants to be the person in your life who loves you the most."」
「"Why?"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman finally asked... the moment he realized Rem had been swallowed by the White Whale, what he felt in his heart—besides a river of hatred and sadness—was this question he asked himself most of all.」
「"What is it about me that would make you like me so much? No matter how I think, I can't understand. I haven't saved you, I haven't..."」
.
.
.
"Why?"
Yes, why?
This was also what many, many people couldn't figure out.
Chitanda Eru bit her lip. She and Oreki Houtarou quietly held their breath, wanting to look deep into this answer.
Rem's affection, Rem's feelings—that weight and depth—there was no one who wouldn't be moved by it, no one who would question or belittle it.
However, why?
If it were Emilia, they could understand; the scene of Hikigaya Hachiman rebuking the Council of Sages was too heart-stirring.
Thinking carefully, Hikigaya Hachiman hadn't actually done anything for Rem. Liking him was natural, but why like him to such an extent?
「"Tell me, Rem."」
Wanting to Be Your Hero (Part 1)
「"..."」
「Rem paused for a moment, appearing to think about how to explain it most concisely.」
「This well-behaved and lovely girl was like a flower, blooming with a brilliant smile without any reservation in front of the man she loved.」
「"You are a hero, Hachiman."」
「Rem smiled and said, "Even though Rem wasn't there every time—capturing the Bowel Hunter, stopping the Mabeast invasion, issuing the duel challenge to the Council of Sages, and exhausting yourself behind the scenes for the sake of Lady Emilia... Hachiman is a hero. Lady Emilia's hero."」
「"However, Hachiman is not just Lady Emilia's hero. You are Rem's as well."」
「"You say... I am your hero?" Hikigaya Hachiman murmured, as if thinking of something. "Could it be..."」
「"As expected, Hachiman didn't take that to heart?"」
「Rem looked as though she had anticipated this. There was no dissatisfaction, no rage, and no jealousy; her words were entirely flavored with the taste of happiness.」
「"It first started when I learned how deeply Hachiman loves his younger sister."」
「Rem changed the subject. Her blue eye that wasn't covered by her bangs narrowed into a slit, curving like a crescent moon.」
「"Rem loves Sister deeply, and Sister loves Rem even more profoundly than Rem loves her. Rem always felt she was the happiest younger sister in the world, but the way Hachiman spoke of his sister made Rem and Sister realize that there were other siblings out there who could rival Rem and Sister."」
「"Someone who loves their sister so deeply can be trusted. Sister was happy to meet another person who loves their sister. From that day on, Rem has been observing you."」
「"You..."」
「Hikigaya Hachiman's mouth hung open in surprise, but Rem gave him no opening to interject, continuing her narration immediately.」
「"When studying or training, you are always single-minded. Seeing Rem busy with work, you occasionally help share the burden. You don't get angry even when provoked by Sister time and again. The way you look at Lady Emilia is always so gentle and compassionate. You remain calm in the face of trouble to support everyone's confidence. And when you have nightmares in your sleep, you gradually calm down when you mutter your sister's name."」
「"Mm... after observing, I always find various merits in Hachiman—merits that are endless no matter how I list them. It might be strange to say, but Rem really did start to be quietly attracted to Hachiman like that, you know?"」
「The more she described it, the more cheerful she became.」
「Rem's eyes were already completely immersed in a vast ocean of happiness. The simple act of "describing her beloved's merits" caused her pounding heart to become even more vibrant.」
「"It reached its peak on the night the Mabeasts invaded."」
「"Since I was a child, the only person Rem truly cared about was Sister, and the only person who truly cared about Rem was Sister. But, from that day on, it became different."」
「"'If anything goes wrong, preserving your own life is more important than mine'—why did Hachiman give such an instruction? Clearly, Rem hadn't helped you at all at that time, and deep down, I was still hung up on the Witch's scent. Hachiman knew that, didn't you? That's why you were resistant toward Rem before that."」
「"But even for a Rem like that, Hachiman unconditionally felt that Rem was more important than yourself... Why would you think that Rem could remain indifferent after receiving such treatment?"」
「"That's because I—"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman wanted to argue vehemently, but he had nothing to say.」
「 'Because I have Return by Death, I didn't think I would die...' he couldn't even deceive himself with such words. Hikigaya Hachiman was not arrogant enough to view the world from the standpoint and premise of "Return by Death" rather than from his own self.」
「Knowing that he likely would have done the same even without Return by Death, Hikigaya Hachiman found himself unable to refute her.」
「"Hachiman is a hero," Rem repeated. Just as Hikigaya Hachiman thought she loved him because [Hikigaya Hachiman is a hero], a reversal appeared in her words.」
「"But, even though you are a hero, Hachiman is very fragile, isn't he?"」
「Rem looked at him with a gaze full of pity. "Hachiman wants to be a hero, is a hero—none of that matters... But, Hachiman, don't you also need a hero?"」
「"What did you say?" Hikigaya Hachiman was stunned.」
「His astonished gaze caused the girl, who seemed to see right through him, to put on an expression of certainty.」
「"When training, when eating, when chatting, when sleeping, when thinking... every single second, Hachiman's sorrow, Hachiman's sadness, Hachiman's anxiety—those negative emotions you hide so as not to affect Lady Emilia."」
「"Rem doesn't know why Hachiman has these emotions, but..."」
「"Seeing the way you look when you have nightmares, the way you uncontrollably frown when lost in thought, the way you pretend to be confident even when you're unsure... Sometimes Rem wonders if she could be like Sister."」
「"To be as reliable and trustworthy as Sister—Rem's intelligence isn't as high as Hachiman's or Lord Roswaal's, so I can't guess your thoughts."」
「"But if Rem can protect you well, at least ensuring your physical safety and making you feel even a little bit of peace, then wouldn't Rem count as your hero, too, Hachiman?"」
「In this moment, all was silent.」
「"You mean..." Hikigaya Hachiman said in disbelief, "You love me not because I was your hero for a few brief seconds, but because you want to be my hero? It was I who triggered your protective instinct?"」
「"It's not that simple," Rem corrected. "It's not protection; it is Rem's own assertiveness, it is Rem's expression of love—because Rem only has this martial strength, and can only rely on this strength to stand by Hachiman's side."」
「This feeling was truly the real thing... it wasn't some cheap "fake thing" born simply because of a certain event or a certain sentence. It was so solid, so real... although it was difficult to describe accurately in words, Rem still did her best to convey this love to him through the most sincere and burning words.」
「A sincere confession.」
「Rem wanted to hug Hikigaya Hachiman, but she respected him.」
「"I love you. Rem loves you... So, I want to protect you, I want to give you peace of mind, I want to become your hero."」