Snake Way, legend says, stretches a million kilometers.
It winds like a giant dragon asleep in the clouds, its yellow, scale-like stone pathway stretching endlessly under the dim light of the Underworld.
Below, the clouds descended into bottomless depths the gates of Hell. Those who fell were said to lose their souls forever.
"Wow! It's so long!"
Goku stood at the starting point, shielding his eyes from the faint light, excitement written all over his face.
"So this is Snake Way? Once we reach the end, we can see King Kai, right?"
"That's right. But normally, it takes people years to run it. Even you might need half a year."
The old deity beside them offered his final warnings.
"Goku, remember, don't fall off. And whatever you do, don't eat anything here that's a trap."
"Got it, Old Man. You're as naggy as Chi-Chi."
Goku stretched, kicked his legs a few times, and crouched into a starting position.
"Then I'm going! Krillin, let's see who gets there first!"
Whoosh!
Like a wild monkey, Goku bolted off the starting point.
It had to be said, after his battle with Raditz, though he had died, his base strength was formidable. As he ran, the wind whipped around him.
Krillin remained still, watching Goku's "turtle pace" from behind, shaking his head.
"Half a year? I don't have time to waste."
He turned to the old deity and waved.
"You can head back. Keep an eye on Earth don't let Trin destroy your hall while I'm gone."
Then, Krillin tapped his toe on the ground.
Boom!
A deafening sonic boom erupted at the start of Snake Way.
The old deity was knocked backward by a gust of wind, nearly toppling over.
When he opened his eyes, Krillin had vanished, leaving only rings of white energy rippling through the air.
A few kilometers ahead, Goku was puffing along when he felt his collar tighten. Suddenly, both his feet left the ground.
"Hey? Hey hey?"
Goku flailed wildly.
"Krillin? What are you doing?!"
"You're too slow. At this pace, by the time we reach King Kai's planet, dinner will be over."
Krillin held Goku like a small chick, encased in a visible aura signaling full-power Flight.
"Hold tight. We're about to speed up."
"Spee… speed up?"
Goku hadn't even processed it yet.
The next moment, the scenery stretched into lines.
Boom!
Krillin broke the sound barrier. Not once or twice, but dozens of times over.
The Snake Way maintenance guards were dozing on the clouds.
Suddenly, a violent gust ripped past. Before they could identify it, the wind swept them off their posts, sending spears flying in unknown directions.
"What just went by? A meteor?!"
The guards scrambled from the clouds, hats askew, panic etched across their faces.
High above, Goku's face contorted under the wind. His cheeks puffed like balloons as he made muffled sounds.
"Kr… Krillin… slow… slow down… I'm gonna be sick…"
"Hold it in! Chi-Chi isn't here. If you vomit, clean it up yourself!"
Krillin didn't slow down.
The Saitama template gave him not only immense strength but a body capable of ignoring air resistance.
A million kilometers?
For him, that was a two-day stroll, even factoring in breaks and meals.
Two days later.
Midway along Snake Way.
An ancient palace suddenly appeared by the path.
As soon as they landed, the vermillion gates seemed to sense a strong masculine presence, silently sliding open.
A warm, sweet scent filled the air, mingling musk with exotic orchids, dizzying in its intensity.
"Oh my, Snake Way has been desolate for hundreds of years. Finally, it welcomes two bundles of warm, lively energy."
With a soft, intoxicating laugh, two rows of attendants in diaphanous gowns carried palace lanterns, gliding forward.
Behind them moved a woman of graceful elegance.
The Snake Princess.
She wore no elaborate court robes today, just a flowing purple silk gown. Its plunging neckline revealed smooth, pale skin and delicately set clavicles.
A simple silk ribbon tied loosely at her waist, and with each step, the high slit revealed her long, fair legs, moving as if tracing the heart of anyone watching.
"Brave travelers, your journey is long. Why not come in for some wine and refresh yourselves?"
Her peach-blossom eyes scanned Goku, noting his clueless, inexperienced look, then swiftly focused on Krillin.
Such a handsome, well-built man.
Though bald, his composed aura and granite-like muscles under his robe made him the finest "catch" in this realm.
"Food! Awesome!"
Goku dashed past the enchantments, storming the dining table and grabbing a roasted pig, gnawing with abandon.
Krillin activated his AR data vision.
[Target: Snake Princess]
[Race: Demon Beast]
[Power Level: 1500]
[Assessment: A snake dreaming of a swan, beauty without strength]
Krillin remained still, observing calmly.
The Snake Princess smirked, a determined, seductive smile, and closed the palace doors with a slam. The light dimmed to a sultry glow, pink mist curling through the air, soft music weaving enchantments.
She didn't approach immediately, instead circling Krillin slowly.
"Why aren't you coming in, brother?"
Her voice seemed to come from all directions, brushing lightly across his ears.
She reached behind him, fingers painted red gliding down his trapezius, circling over his spine under the robe.
"This Snake Way is lonely, with only the wind and ghostly cries… so desolate."
Her body pressed closer.
Krillin felt the warmth and softness unique to a woman. She rose on tiptoe, resting her chin on his shoulder, breath hot against his ear, sending shivers down his spine.
"I have thirty-year-old wine, soft silk couches, and…"
She turned, sliding into his embrace like a limber water snake, arms looping around his neck, practically hanging on him.
Her mesmerizing eyes, close enough to pierce, spoke volumes of desire.
"And my burning heart. Don't you want to hold it?"
She pressed Krillin's hand to her chest, heart pounding. The sensation alone could overwhelm any weak-willed man.
The attendants circled as well, serving wine and grapes, their gauzy dresses brushing him, intoxicating his senses.
"Stay with me…"
The Snake Princess whispered near his lips, so close the heat was palpable.
"Say yes, and this palace, this Snake Way, and centuries of my cultivation… all yours."
"You could be king here, reveling day and night, no training, no saving the world. Let that foolish boy handle that instead."
Her fingers unfastened Krillin's robe, tracing his chest.
"Your body is honest it craves rest, craves pleasure."
The palace seemed to transform into a giant silk web, the pink haze almost dripping with illusion.
Krillin lowered his gaze, surveying this cunning seductress.
Indeed, she was beautiful.
Centuries of seduction skills, enhanced by illusion, would have driven the old naive monk Krillin to his knees.
But now…
Images of Bulma, brilliant and assertive, filled his mind. The golden-haired Launch wielding a machine gun. Blue-haired Launch tending a kitchen. Home-cooked meals far superior to any exotic temptation.
"Is the performance over?"
Krillin spoke calmly, shattering the seductive atmosphere.
The Snake Princess froze, her perfect expression cracking, eyes wide in surprise.
"Wh… what?"
Krillin showed no mercy. He pressed a finger to her forehead, pushing her half a meter away.
Slowly, he buttoned his robe and dusted his shoulders and chest, as if removing dirt.
"First,"
He glanced at the surrounding attendants, unimpressed.
"Your illusions are crude."
"This cheap perfume is giving me a headache, and that roasted pig? Probably just stones. Only Goku's taste buds could mistake it for food."
Goku, still chewing a chunk of "meat," blinked blankly.
"Eh? Krillin, what did you say? The meat's a bit tough, but it's okay to chew!"
The Snake Princess twitched furiously.
"Second,"
Krillin examined her with genuine, condescending pity.
"You said all of this is mine? Sorry, your palace isn't even as big as my bathroom. Your entire fortune doesn't even compare to my wife's wealth. She could pluck a leg hair thicker than your net worth."
"Third, and most important,"
Krillin leaned close to her enraged, twisting face, thumb pointing at himself with a mocking smile.
"My wife is the world's richest and most beautiful woman. With mountains of delicacies every day, why would I care about a few centuries-old leftovers?"
"You, relying on illusions to maintain your looks, should stop embarrassing yourself. Your makeup is already caked."
Boom!
The Snake Princess felt a thunderclap strike her head.
Old hag? Poor? Ugly? Leftovers?
Each word pierced her pride like a poisoned dagger.
"You… you…"
Her body trembled, her flawless face contorted. Pale skin turned slightly scaly, pupils slit, full of rage and murderous intent.
"You ungrateful man! You refuse a toast and drink the punishment! I will chew you up and swallow you!"
"Goku! Let's go! Stop gnawing rocks!"
Krillin gave her no chance to transform. He grabbed Goku, who was still chewing stone, and stomped his foot.
Boom!
A blast of energy shot them through the palace roof, straight into the sky.
"Ahhhh! I'll kill you!!"
Behind them, the Snake Princess screamed in fury.
The grand palace collapsed, transforming into a giant green serpent, thrashing wildly in the clouds, but the two figures had long disappeared down Snake Way.
Krillin glanced back at the serpent.
"What a waste of time. Even monsters need some self-awareness and a little research on who I am."
Goku, flustered in the wind: "Krillin, what you said… wasn't that too harsh?"
"To deal with a monster that wants to eat you, you have to break her mentally. And I was speaking the truth."
After some time, a small planet appeared at the end of the path. Suspended in space, smaller than a town on Earth, it radiated a strange gravitational pull.
"We're here! King Kai's Planet!" Goku shouted excitedly.
Krillin slammed on the brakes, hovering above the planet.
"Prepare to land. Be careful, the gravity is different here."
They descended slowly.
The moment Goku touched the ground, an invisible force slammed him down, knees hitting the grass.
"W… wow! So heavy! My body feels like lead!"
He struggled to rise, limbs weighed down as if filled with concrete.
Krillin landed lightly, bouncing twice as if testing new shoes.
"This is ten times gravity? Feels light. Almost like Trin's daily training."
He glanced at Goku, already planning to have Bulma send him a "100x Gravity Room" to maximize the Saiyan's potential.
"These creatures only reach their limits under extreme gravity."
"Is… anyone here?" Goku panted, sweat streaming down his face.
"Yes, and a very interesting fellow," Krillin said, eyes glinting mischievously at a small, round building ahead.
"Listen carefully, Goku. To learn from King Kai, you must first pass his test."
"Test? Do I have to fight him?" Goku's eyes sparkled with excitement.
"No, it's harder than that."
Krillin's face was serious.
"King Kai is a fan of jokes. You must tell him one that makes him roll on the floor laughing, or he won't take you as a disciple."
"Tell… a joke?!"
Goku was dumbfounded. Fighting, he could handle. Jokes? That was harder than a battle.
"Don't worry. I've got a trick." Krillin leaned close to Goku and whispered, "This is the one you'll tell…"