Chapter 68
Dorian should have recognized the signs sooner.
It started with a question.
And Dorian hated questions almost as much as bows.
They were walking back from the southern gate inspection — an inspection that Aurelian had not requested but had quietly insisted on observing.
"I want to see," the boy had said.
Dorian had foolishly agreed.
Now they were returning to the guild when Aurelian tugged on his sleeve.
"Uncle."
"Yes?"
"Why does everyone look at me like that."
Dorian froze.
"...Like what."
"Like I am going to do something."
Dorian inhaled slowly.
Ah.
There it was.
Expectation.
He crouched slightly so they were eye level.
"...Because you did something."
"I sat."
"Yes."
"That is not impressive."
Dorian rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"In this city, it is."
Aurelian blinked.
"...Why."
Dorian glanced toward the marketplace.
"Because most people don't know how."
Aurelian considered that.
"...But they can."
"Yes."
"Then why don't they."
Dorian opened his mouth.
Closed it.
"...Because no one showed them."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"I did not show."
Dorian stared at him.
"...You existed."
Aurelian looked mildly confused.
"...That is showing?"
"Yes."
The chicken strutted between them like it was overseeing the philosophy.
Dorian stood again.
"...Listen carefully."
Aurelian nodded.
"When people look at you now, they are not just seeing you."
"...What are they seeing."
"What they want you to be."
Aurelian frowned slightly.
"...But I am me."
Dorian smiled faintly.
"Yes."
"And that is enough."
Aurelian nodded once.
"Then why is it heavy."
Dorian paused.
"...Because you notice."
Aurelian was quiet for a few steps.
The market was less chaotic these days.
Less shouting.
Fewer petty disputes.
Dorian did not like how much that connected back to the small boy walking beside him.
They turned toward the guild.
And there—
Dorian stopped again.
A line.
Not long.
But noticeable.
Five parents stood near the gate.
Children beside them.
Dorian's eye twitched.
"...No."
Aurelian blinked.
"...Are they waiting."
"Yes."
"For what."
Dorian sighed.
"...For you."
The nearest parent stepped forward carefully.
"Sir Dorian."
"...Yes."
"We were hoping..."
Dorian already knew.
"...No."
The parent blinked.
"We haven't asked yet."
"You don't need to."
The woman looked embarrassed.
"We just wanted to know if our children could... spend time here."
Dorian folded his arms.
"...This is not a calm academy."
The woman flushed slightly.
"It's just that... since the square..."
Dorian exhaled slowly.
Expectation.
It had arrived.
Not from councils.
From parents.
Aurelian stepped forward.
"Why."
The woman hesitated.
"They listen to you."
Aurelian blinked.
"...Why."
The woman smiled faintly.
"You don't shout."
Dorian muttered under his breath:
"...This is getting ridiculous."
Rowan stepped out of the guild doors.
Of course he did.
He always appeared exactly when Dorian needed him and also did not want him.
He surveyed the line calmly.
"...Explain."
The woman bowed slightly.
"We're not asking for training."
Dorian crossed his arms.
"Good."
"We just want them to see..."
She trailed off awkwardly.
Rowan's voice softened.
"To see what."
The woman looked at Aurelian.
"...That it's okay to be calm."
Silence settled.
Heavy.
Dorian felt something tighten in his chest.
This was no longer imitation.
It was hope.
Aurelian looked confused.
"...They can already be calm."
The woman smiled sadly.
"Not everyone learns that easily."
Dorian swallowed.
Rowan crouched in front of Aurelian.
"You may say no."
Aurelian nodded.
"I know."
He turned to the children waiting by the gate.
"...Do you want to come in."
The children looked at each other eagerly.
"Yes."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"...Why."
One little boy answered quietly.
"Because when you sit... my chest stops hurting."
Dorian inhaled sharply.
There it was.
Expectation.
Not for spectacle.
For relief.
He looked at Rowan.
Rowan's gaze remained steady.
"He must choose."
Dorian nodded slowly.
Aurelian looked at the children.
"I am not special."
The smallest girl shook her head.
"We know."
"You can sit without me."
They hesitated.
"...It's easier when you're there."
Dorian felt the weight deepen.
This wasn't fame.
It wasn't council manipulation.
It was something softer.
And far more dangerous.
Dependency.
He crouched beside Aurelian again.
"Listen to me carefully."
Aurelian looked at him.
"If they only feel calm when you are there..."
He paused.
"...That is not strength."
Aurelian blinked.
"...What is it."
Dorian answered gently.
"A crutch."
Aurelian thought carefully.
"...Then I should not be a crutch."
Dorian smiled faintly.
"Yes."
Aurelian turned back to the children.
"I will not be here every time."
They looked confused.
"...Why."
"Because you can do it without me."
The boy frowned.
"But it's easier."
Aurelian nodded.
"Yes."
The girl looked uncertain.
"...Then what do we do."
Aurelian thought carefully.
"You sit together."
They blinked.
"...Without you?"
"Yes."
"And if we panic."
Aurelian smiled faintly.
"Wait."
The children looked at each other.
Slowly.
One of them nodded.
"...Okay."
Aurelian stepped back toward Dorian.
"You may sit in the square."
The children brightened.
"But not here."
Dorian blinked.
"...Why not here."
Aurelian shrugged.
"This is home."
Dorian felt something unexpected soften inside him.
Rowan's expression shifted slightly too.
The parents exchanged quiet looks.
The woman bowed gently.
"Thank you."
Aurelian shook his head.
"I did not teach."
Rowan stood slowly.
"Go home," he told the parents gently. "Let them try."
They nodded and ushered their children away.
The gate closed again.
Silence returned.
Dorian exhaled slowly.
"...That could have gone worse."
Rowan nodded.
"Yes."
Aurelian looked up at Dorian.
"Was that correct."
Dorian crouched again.
"...That was perfect."
Aurelian smiled faintly.
"I do not want to be needed."
Dorian blinked.
"...Why."
Aurelian answered simply:
"Because then they cannot grow."
Dorian stared at him.
"...You are not four."
Aurelian blinked.
"Yes I am."
The chicken made a soft, approving noise.
Dorian pointed at it.
"You absolutely planned this."
The chicken blinked slowly.
Unbothered.
Rowan's voice softened.
"This is the harder part."
Dorian nodded.
"Yes."
"Not being admired."
"Not being used."
"But not being leaned on."
Dorian looked at Aurelian.
"...You're learning to refuse dependency."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"...Is that optional."
Dorian smiled.
"...No."
Aurelian nodded seriously.
"Then I will practice."
The courtyard felt different again.
Not tense.
Not heavy.
Just steady.
Expectation had arrived.
And instead of accepting it—
He had redirected it.
Dorian folded his arms slowly.
"...Version Ten."
Rowan raised an eyebrow.
"We are naming boundaries now."
Dorian nodded solemnly.
"...Yes."
Aurelian grinned.
"Optional."
Dorian laughed softly.
"...Optional."
But even as the courtyard quieted—
Dorian couldn't shake one thought.
Expectation had come softly.
What would happen—
When it came loudly?
Dorian should have known it wouldn't stop with parents.
Expectation rarely does.
It always tries one more door.
The incident happened in the training yard.
Which meant it was absolutely Dorian's fault.
He had taken Aurelian to observe drills — nothing dangerous, nothing structured. Just knights sparring, wooden blades, light movement.
"Observe only," Dorian had said.
"Yes," Aurelian replied.
Which meant absolutely nothing.
The yard was loud.
Metal clanged. Boots scraped. Orders were barked.
Normal.
Then one of the younger trainees — barely fifteen — missed a block.
His opponent's wooden blade struck his shoulder.
Not hard.
But enough to sting.
The trainee stepped back.
And instead of resetting—
He froze.
Dorian noticed it immediately.
The freeze.
The spiral.
Aurelian noticed it too.
The trainee's breathing quickened.
His grip tightened.
Another strike came.
He fumbled.
Dropped his blade.
The yard went quiet in that particular way yards do when pride is wounded.
Dorian was about to step in—
But Aurelian had already moved.
Not rushed.
Not dramatic.
Just walked over.
The trainee blinked down at him.
"...What."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"Why did you stop."
The boy frowned.
"I didn't."
"Yes you did."
The trainee looked defensive.
"I just lost my grip."
Aurelian shook his head gently.
"No. You stopped breathing."
The yard went very still.
Dorian's eyes narrowed slightly.
The trainee swallowed.
"...What."
Aurelian demonstrated.
He inhaled.
Slow.
Then exhaled.
Slow.
The trainee stared at him.
"...That's not fighting."
Aurelian blinked.
"You cannot fight if you cannot breathe."
Silence.
Dorian folded his arms.
...He is not wrong.
The trainee looked embarrassed.
"I panicked."
Aurelian nodded.
"Yes."
The trainee glanced around at the watching knights.
"I didn't mean to."
Aurelian shrugged slightly.
"Then do not mean to again."
Dorian almost laughed.
The trainee looked at him.
"...How."
Aurelian pointed at his own chest.
"Wait."
The trainee inhaled.
Too fast.
Aurelian shook his head.
"Slow."
The trainee tried again.
Slower.
Dorian stepped forward slightly.
Not to stop it.
To watch it.
The trainee picked up his wooden blade again.
Faced his partner.
They resumed.
This time when the strike came—
He blocked.
Not perfectly.
But steady.
The yard murmured quietly.
The trainee lowered his blade and stared at Aurelian.
"...Thank you."
Aurelian blinked.
"I did not fight."
The trainee shook his head.
"You helped."
There it was again.
Expectation's shadow.
Dorian walked over immediately.
"Enough."
The yard straightened.
The trainee stepped back respectfully.
Dorian crouched in front of Aurelian.
"You are not an instructor."
Aurelian blinked.
"I did not instruct."
"You intervened."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"He stopped breathing."
Dorian sighed.
"That is not your responsibility."
Aurelian paused.
"...But I saw it."
Dorian held his gaze gently.
"And that does not make it yours."
The words landed quietly.
The trainee shifted awkwardly nearby.
"I asked him," the boy said softly.
Dorian glanced up.
"...You did."
"Yes."
"I looked at him and asked."
Aurelian blinked.
"You did."
The trainee nodded.
"Everyone says you stay calm. I wanted to know how."
Dorian exhaled slowly.
Expectation.
Again.
Aurelian looked thoughtful.
"I did not stay calm for you."
The trainee nodded.
"I know."
Aurelian frowned slightly.
"...Then why ask."
The trainee hesitated.
"Because you don't seem afraid of failing."
Dorian felt that one land.
Harder than the council's bow.
Aurelian blinked.
"I fail."
The trainee gave a faint smile.
"You don't look like it."
Dorian stood slowly.
"There's the problem."
The yard quieted.
Dorian addressed the trainee directly.
"You see a still moment. You don't see the confusion before it."
The trainee swallowed.
Dorian continued:
"You see him breathe. You don't see him think."
Aurelian looked mildly offended.
"I think."
"Yes, you do."
The trainee bowed slightly to Aurelian.
"...Sorry."
Aurelian blinked.
"...Why."
"For expecting."
Aurelian tilted his head.
"...Expectation is heavy."
Dorian stared at him.
"...You are not allowed to say things like that at four."
Aurelian shrugged.
"Optional."
The yard relaxed slightly.
A few knights chuckled.
The trainee picked up his blade again.
"I'll practice on my own."
Dorian nodded once.
"Good."
The training resumed.
The noise returned.
But something had shifted again.
Dorian walked Aurelian back toward the edge of the yard.
"You are not responsible for fixing panic."
Aurelian nodded.
"I know."
"Then why did you move."
Aurelian thought carefully.
"He asked."
Dorian swallowed.
There it was again.
Not authority.
Not ego.
Just response.
Rowan entered the yard quietly.
Of course he did.
He always arrived when lessons crystallized.
"I heard," Rowan said calmly.
Dorian sighed.
"Of course you did."
Rowan looked at Aurelian.
"You helped."
Aurelian frowned.
"I did not want to."
Rowan tilted his head.
"Why."
"Because then they expect."
Rowan nodded slowly.
"And what did you choose."
Aurelian looked thoughtful.
"I answered."
Rowan smiled faintly.
"And that is different."
Dorian folded his arms.
"...Explain."
Rowan's gaze remained steady.
"He did not offer himself."
"He responded when asked."
Dorian blinked.
"...That's subtle."
"Yes."
Aurelian tugged on Rowan's sleeve.
"Is that wrong."
Rowan shook his head.
"No."
Dorian sighed.
"...So what are the rules."
Rowan answered calmly.
"You may answer."
Aurelian nodded.
"Yes."
"You may refuse."
"Yes."
"You may not carry."
Aurelian paused.
"...Carry what."
"Expectation that is not yours."
Aurelian nodded slowly.
"Yes."
The chicken hopped between them, inspecting the training yard like it was measuring structural integrity.
Dorian pointed at it.
"You absolutely orchestrated this."
The chicken blinked.
Unmoved.
Dorian exhaled slowly.
"...He's going to be asked again."
Rowan nodded.
"Yes."
"And again."
"Yes."
"And again."
"Yes."
Dorian looked down at Aurelian.
"...What will you do."
Aurelian smiled faintly.
"Optional."
Dorian laughed despite himself.
"...Optional."
The yard returned to normal rhythm.
The trainee improved.
No cult formed.
No banners rose.
But expectation had shown its second face.
Not hope.
Not admiration.
But quiet reliance.
And Aurelian had stepped through it—
Without becoming it.
Dorian folded his arms one last time.
"...Version Eleven."
Rowan raised an eyebrow.
"We are naming restraint now."
Dorian nodded solemnly.
"...Yes."
Aurelian grinned.
"Optional."
Dorian looked at him carefully.
"...You are still small."
Aurelian nodded.
"Yes."
"Stay that way."
Aurelian blinked.
"...For now."
Rowan's expression softened.
"Yes."
For now.