It didn't happen dramatically.
No crying. No breakdown. No sudden decision to "move on."
It started with numbers.
One evening, I saw a post saying AURORA7 might have a world tour soon.
"World tour."
The comments were full of excitement.
"Please come to India." "Saving money already!" "I'll fly anywhere if I have to."
Fly anywhere.
I stared at that sentence longer than I should have.
Then, without thinking too much, I opened a browser.
Just to see.
Just to calculate.
Ticket prices from previous tours. Average flight cost. Hotel stay. Food. Local travel.
I added everything slowly.
Carefully.
Like solving a maths problem I didn't want the answer to.
The total amount sat on the screen.
I didn't even blink.
I just stared.
Then I imagined that same amount in my house.
School fees. Electricity bills. Groceries. Emergency savings.
The difference between "want" and "need" had never felt so clear.
I closed the tab.
Not angrily.
Not sadly.
Just… quietly.
That night, while scrolling, the clips felt slightly different.
He was smiling like always. Fans were cheering like always.
But for the first time, I felt the distance in a practical way.
Not emotional.
Not romantic.
Financial.
Logical.
Real.
It wasn't a movie. There was no destiny twist. No "one day you'll accidentally meet him."
Some dreams require money.
And some people are born in worlds where that money exists easily.
Mine wasn't that world.
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling.
For the first time in two years, I asked myself something directly:
"What exactly am I expecting from this?"
Did I want to meet him?
Yes.
Was it possible?
No.
Did I want him to notice me?
Maybe.
Would that ever happen?
No.
Then what was I holding onto?
The answer came slowly.
I wasn't holding onto him.
I was holding onto the feeling.
The distraction. The comfort. The tiny escape from my own ordinary life.
And suddenly, it didn't feel romantic anymore.
It felt… temporary.
Like something that would naturally fade.
I didn't delete anything that night.
I didn't make dramatic promises.
But something shifted inside me.
For the first time, my imagination felt slightly childish.
Not wrong.
Just young.
And I wasn't sure how much longer I could stay inside it.
The reality check didn't break my heart.
It just matured it a little.
And sometimes, that hurts in a quieter way.