Caelan
The council chamber is already full when I arrive. I am late, something I never am. But after what happened in the dungeon, I needed time to compose myself. I washed my face with cold water, changed into my royal robes, and placed the crown on my head. I look like a king again.
I do not feel like one.
I take my seat at the head of the long table. The council members bow their heads in respect before sitting. Lord Theron is directly to my right, his expression stern as always. Lady Mirabel sits across from him, her sharp eyes watching me closely. The others fill in the remaining seats, their faces serious.
Marcus stands near the window, arms crossed. He catches my eye and frowns. He knows something is wrong. He always knows.
"Let us begin," I say, keeping my voice steady. "What matters require my attention today?"
Lord Theron clears his throat. "First and foremost, Your Majesty, we must discuss the prisoner. The rogue Lycan you chose to spare last night."
My jaw tightens. I knew this was coming.
"What about him?"
"He should be executed," Lord Theron says bluntly. "He admitted his crimes in front of the entire court. He has stolen from our villages, defied the crown, and shown no remorse. Keeping him alive sends the wrong message to other rogues. It makes you look weak."
"I am not weak," I say, my voice harder than I intend.
"Then prove it," Lady Mirabel interjects smoothly. "Execute him today. Publicly. Let the realm see that you do not tolerate rebellion."
The other council members murmur in agreement. They are united on this. They want Eryx dead.
And I cannot explain why the thought of it makes my chest tighten.
"I will decide the prisoner's fate when I am ready," I say. "Not before."
Lord Theron leans forward. "Your Majesty, with all due respect, you have already delayed too long. Every day he remains alive is another day the rogues believe they can challenge you. Your wedding is in three months. You must show strength before you take a queen. The realm must see you as a decisive leader."
"I am decisive," I snapped. "And I will handle the prisoner as I see fit."
Silence falls over the room. The council members exchange glances. I can feel their disapproval, their confusion. They do not understand why I am protecting a criminal.
Neither do I.
Marcus steps forward, breaking the tension. "Perhaps we should move on to other matters. The prisoner is not going anywhere. We can revisit this discussion later."
Lord Theron looks like he wants to argue, but he nods stiffly. "Very well. But this cannot wait forever, Your Majesty."
"I am aware."
The meeting continues, but I barely hear any of it. My mind is elsewhere, trapped in that cold cell, replaying the moment Eryx touched my hand. The fire that burned through me. The way my wolf responded, wild and hungry in a way it never has before.
I have felt the fated bond with Isolde. It is warm, gentle, and constant. It is what the Moon designed. What I am supposed to want.
But this, this thing with Eryx, is nothing like that. It is chaotic. Dangerous. Wrong.
And yet I cannot stop thinking about it.
The meeting finally ends, and the council members file out of the room. Marcus lingers behind, waiting until we are alone.
"What is going on with you?" he asks quietly.
"Nothing."
"Caelan." He steps closer, his voice serious. "I have known you my entire life. You do not act like this. You do not defy the council. You do not spare criminals. And you certainly do not look this troubled over a prisoner."
I turn away from him, staring out the window at the courtyard below. Wolves move through the grounds, training, working, living their lives. Everything looks normal. Peaceful.
But inside me, there is a storm.
"I do not know what is happening," I admit quietly. "I feel, I feel like I am losing control."
"Of what?"
"Everything." I close my eyes. "The wedding is coming. Isolde is perfect. The bond is real. I should be happy. I should feel ready. But instead, I feel trapped. And then this prisoner, this rogue, he looks at me and sees things I have spent my whole life trying to hide."
"What things?"
I hesitate. I have never said this out loud before. Not to anyone.
"That I do not want this," I whisper. "That I do not want the life the Moon chose for me. That I want something else. Something I cannot even name."
Marcus is silent for a long moment. Then he places a hand on my shoulder.
"You are allowed to want things, Caelan," he says gently. "You are allowed to question. That does not make you weak."
"It makes me selfish."
"It makes you human."
I shake my head. "I am not human. I am a Lycan. A king. I do not get to be selfish."
"Then what do you get to be?"
I do not have an answer.
Marcus sighs. "Listen to me. I cannot tell you what to do. But I can tell you this. Whatever is happening with that prisoner, whatever you are feeling, you need to figure it out. Because the council will not wait much longer. And neither will Isolde."
He is right. I know he is.
But figuring it out means facing something I am not ready to face.
It means admitting that the life I have built, the life I have always believed in, might not be the life I truly want.
And that terrifies me more than any enemy ever could.
That night, I found myself standing outside the dungeon again.
I tell myself I am here to make a decision. To finally choose whether to execute Eryx or set him free. To stop this madness and return to the order and certainty I have always known.
But deep down, I know the truth.
I am here because I cannot stay away.
I descend the stairs, my heart pounding. The guard is different this time, a younger wolf who bows nervously when he sees me.
"Open the cell," I say.
He does not question me. The door swings open, and I step inside.
Eryx is awake. He sits against the wall, watching me with those burning eyes.
"Back again," he says. "You must really enjoy my company."
"I came to make a decision," I say.
"And what have you decided?"
I stare at him, this wild, infuriating, impossible man who has turned my world upside down in less than a day.
"I do not know," I admit.
And for the first time in my life, I realize I am telling the truth.
I do not know anything anymore.