Extra Chapter: Gudaguda Honnoji. Avengers.
"So... if we summarize this mess..."
The sudden invasion of Mini-Pools and Nobbu in Chaldea was barely stopped. Romani sat before Sakura Saber, Mao Archer, and Spider-Man – those who were involved in the incident or most likely caused it – and tried to reconstruct the sequence of events.
"Spider-Man, someone planted the idea in your head that a certain Holy Grail, for which you needed to travel to another world, could fulfill your wish to meet Deadpool. You arrived in a world where Sakura Saber and Mao Archer were, tried to use the Grail, but everything went awry... Correct?"
Based on the testimony of these three, Romani was able to construct an approximate chain of events.
"The question is, who exactly whispered to Spider-Man about the Holy Grail..."
Da Vinci fell into thought. After the events in London, when Solomon himself – the perpetrator of the attack on Chaldea and the burning of humanity – appeared in person and announced his intentions, any new problem caused a headache.
"Maybe it's Solomon's doing... or one of his loyal mages?" Mash suggested hesitantly.
"Since our meeting in London, Solomon hasn't shown any activity. We would have immediately detected any of his actions..." Romani also struggled with the question of the puppet master. "But he is the King of Mages. He can do anything right under our noses, so we can't be sure."
While everyone was guessing whether Solomon was involved, Deadpool, with undisguised adoration on his face, stared intently at the back of Spider-Man's head.
Thanks to his abilities, namely his "spider-sense," Parker felt this strange, sticky gaze with the back of his head.
"Listen, I feel very awkward under such scrutiny, could you please stop? Sorry if this sounds rude! But I'm really not comfortable."
"Oh, sorry! Completely slipped my mind. I forgot about your spider-sense!"
Deadpool apologized, but didn't take his gaze away.
"Mr. Spider-Man? Could you describe the one who promised you the Grail? Atmosphere, appearance, distinguishing features – any detail is important," Da Vinci continued the questioning to clarify the situation.
Spider-Man paused for a moment, then began to sketch a verbal portrait:
"Well, he's quite tall. Thin, even bony. Speaks with a British accent, dark-haired, long hair, slightly curly. His face is handsome, and he clearly knows his way around magic. Illusions, copies... He looks like a gentleman, but at the same time seems sinister and likes to play pranks. Oh, and he was dressed all in green..."
"What?!"
As soon as Spider-Man mentioned the green clothing, Deadpool slammed the table with a bang and glared at it. He had just started to be happy that he hadn't heard about the "green guy" for a long time, and now again – his mood was ruined in an instant.
"Hey, Pool. You scared the child. We won't get to the truth this way," Da Vinci tried to reason with him.
But Deadpool, as if remembering something, propped his chin with his hand, turned his head back and forth, and, suddenly beaming, blurted out:
"Listen, did this guy happen to wear a green cloak and a crown with golden horns? A couple of daggers at his belt, green eyes..."
"Oh? And how do you know? Are you acquainted?"
When Spider-Man confirmed the description, Deadpool slammed the table again with a cry of "I knew it!" Romani, Da Vinci, Ritsuka, and Mash exchanged bewildered glances – they were clearly annoyed that Pool was playing his secrets again.
"Pool-san, please, don't keep it to yourself, share the information..." Romani asked with a sigh.
Deadpool grimaced and sighed heavily.
"As far as I know, only one jerk fits this description..."
"And who is it?" Ritsuka asked.
Deadpool opened his mouth with extreme seriousness:
"Loki."
◇
Fortunately, the ley-lifting apparatus was not damaged. Moreover, due to the breakthrough of Mini-Pools and Nobbu, the coordinates of that world were automatically entered into the system, saving time for interception preparations.
"Fortunately or unfortunately, Solomon is not involved here. However, the fact that a Holy Grail was discovered in another world, and these creatures flooded towards us, cannot be left unaddressed."
While Romani was speaking, Ritsuka, Mash, and Deadpool completed their preparations for the transfer.
"We will be your guides. Regardless, you suffered because of us, so we are responsible," Spider-Man declared.
"Well, if that's the case, I'm out. I have nothing to do with this... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"
Mao Archer tried to slip away sideways, but Sakura Saber firmly grabbed him – or rather, her – by the ear.
"And why did Archer-san decide to turn the Grail into a bomb? Because of that, space warped and worlds collided, and now you're running away? Go quietly."
"Hey! Let go! This is my thing, I'll do what I want! Don't interfere!"
"Um... Guys, let's calm down..."
Spider-Man tried to separate them, but both women immediately turned their attention to him. If it were just about the bomb, that would be one thing, but he had interfered with the Grail during assembly, trying to summon someone, which caused Nobbu and Mini-Pools to multiply excessively. So the blame also lay with him.
"...Whispering... Great power comes with great responsibility. If I say this out loud, our Spidey will get really sad, so I'm whispering just for you guys. I don't want to upset my little spider."
Deadpool whispered this, addressing the void.
"The coordinates are heavily mixed in time and space, so who knows where you'll end up. In the worst case, you could get stuck in imaginary space... Oh, what am I saying? Everything will go smoothly, don't worry!"
Da Vinci's mumbling seeped into the microphone. Deadpool gave her a displeased look.
"It feels like she said that specifically so I would hear it..."
"Well, let's go!"
Before Deadpool could add another word, Da Vinci initiated the ley-lifting process, sending the group to the world from which the uninvited guests had come.
The exit point, as in most singularities, turned out to be a desolate area. However, it was a rather peaceful place: a vast green meadow dotted with sparse trees.
"Hmm... doesn't look like a spatial distortion..."
"You're mistaken. Look at the sky," Mao Archer pointed upwards.
Ritsuka, Mash, and Deadpool simultaneously tilted their heads back.
"Oh, hell..."
A monster resembling a giant caterpillar hovered in the sky, its appearance resolutely not fitting earthly conceptions of reality. However, it looked more like a flying mechanical creature than an insect, paddling through the air with dozens of fins.
Worst of all, the creature wasn't alone – hundreds of similar beings circled in the sky.
"Oh my god! They said space-time got tangled, but to be thrown straight into 'The Avengers'?!"
Stunned, Deadpool pressed his palms to his cheeks and shouted, but suddenly faltered and glanced at the Spider-Man standing next to him.
"Wait a minute. As far as I remember, during the events of 'The Avengers,' Spidey wasn't a hero yet... Besides, these guys from the Chitauri are clearly from the same army that invaded New York. Then it's understandable why Loki is behind everything. But why is Spidey here? The timelines are all messed up."
"Um... Mr. Deadpool? Or should I call you Wade? Is something wrong with me?"
As if sensing that he was being talked about, Spider-Man cautiously asked. Deadpool stared at him for a long time, then grumbled that everything was fine.
"It's all because of that guy in green with golden horns. What was his name?"
"Loki. Loki Odinson. Or Loki Laufeyson. In any case – Tom Hiddleston to a T."
"Exactly! Because of this Loki-shmoki, our world is in complete chaos now. First, we need to find shelter."
On Mao Archer's advice, it was decided to look for shelter. The sky was teeming with Chitauri aliens who, it seemed, had fallen here from Spider-Man's world and were now busy conquering the lands of Mao Archer and Sakura Saber.
"Halt!"
As soon as they were about to change position, a shout rang out. The voice seemed painfully familiar to Ritsuka's companions.
"If you want to pass, pay the toll. Otherwise, I, Emiyamoto Musashi, will chop you into cabbage!"
A warrior in red, with a mask like a scarlet butterfly on his face... No, it was just Emiya, blocking their path in the most ridiculous manner.
"Uh... Listen... Is today some kind of amateur theater day?"
Ritsuka, who no longer understood what was happening, and didn't particularly want to understand, clutched his aching head and turned to Mash.
"Well... I... I'm honestly baffled too. No matter how you look at it, that's Mr. Emiya..."
"I... I'm not Emiya! I am Emiyamoto Musashi! Now! Defend yourself!"
"Emiya"moto Musashi drew a pair of daggers, black and white.
"Hey, Archer. Don't you think he doesn't quite look like Musashi?"
Deadpool, no longer finding the absurdity of the situation funny, turned to Mao Archer, who stood with an equally stunned face.
"The Musashi I know looked different..."
After Archer's words, Deadpool stared into the void and, unable to comprehend what was happening, began to address the readers:
"Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of prank? Hey! Miyamoto Musashi... You thought I didn't know she appears in chapter 1.5? What? She's from another world? What difference does it make! She's already added to the game! Why is this red-tongued archer playing Musashi's role? Huh? You don't know either? Just accept it and eat what you're given? ... Damn it all to hell."
Emiyamoto Musashi, seeing that the intruders were ignoring him and conversing among themselves, aimed his blades at them and roared:
"Hey! Stop making noise! Your money or your life! Choose!"
"One moment!"
Behind Ritsuka's group, a blue-haired lancer in a tight blue leotard appeared. More precisely, over this leotard, he wore a completely ridiculous purple kimono, and in his hands, he spun a scarlet spear.
"I am Sasaki Kojirou! Emiyamoto Musashi! I challenge you to a fight!"
Deadpool, whose mind was already a haven of chaos, could not withstand the clash with reality, which surpassed his wildest fantasies, and almost lost consciousness.
"Why are these two here when the originals exist?!"
"They couldn't agree on a fee."
"And that's it?! You mean they didn't agree?"
"Well... you see, he's tied to the steps of the Ryudo Temple..."
"Then call someone else!"
"There's no one."
"What?!"
"I told you – there isn't."
"And where did they go?"
"I have no idea."
"Ah, you bastard..."
Deadpool began to swing his fists and kick the air, which from the outside looked like a fit of madness, putting on a show for himself.
"It seems there was some system glitch when the worlds collided," Mash suggested. "Servants who look exactly like Mama... I mean, Mr. Emiya and Mr. Kuhulin, are pretending to be completely different people for some reason."
"And more importantly... this place doesn't look like Ganryujima at all..."
In this hopelessly tangled space-time, Ritsuka and his companions merely watched in silence the absurd duel between "Emiya"moto Musashi and Sasaki "Kuhul"jiro.
"Maybe we should just move on?" Sakura Saber suggested, coming to her senses.
"Yes. That would probably be for the best. Let's hurry."
Mao Archer supported her, and the whole company, without consulting each other, went their own way, leaving the duelists to sort things out.
"Haha! Taste my blade!"
"As if!"
They continued to enthusiastically beat each other until a whole squad of Chitauri arrived at the sound of the battle. However, Ritsuka's group learned much later how the aliens made short work of the amateur fencers.
◇
Meanwhile, in an unknown location.
In the middle of a vast cavern, a majestic tower rose. On a throne at its very summit sat a green-eyed man in emerald robes and a crown with golden horns.
Loki Odinson, also known as Loki Laufeyson, watched with a predatory grin as the detachment slowly but surely approached his lair.
"They must be very arrogant to step into my 'Sacred Asgard' without permission. Apparently, life has taught them nothing."
Loki snapped his fingers, and the archer standing behind him, bowing his head respectfully, immediately dissolved into thin air.
"One Heroic Spirit of the Archer class should be enough. Especially with his 'Eagle Eye'... Heh-heh-heh..."