Chapter: "Don't Look at Me"
Jay's POV
It started small.
It always does.
Yuri was laughing with me during break. Nothing serious. Just normal.
But Keif was quiet.
Too quiet.
I noticed.
I ignored it.
That was my mistake.
After class, he grabbed my wrist gently.
"We need to talk."
I pulled my hand back.
"About what?"
"About you and Yuri."
I blinked. "What about us?"
"He's still too close."
"He's my friend."
"He just proposed to you last week."
"And I rejected him."
"That doesn't erase his feelings."
I crossed my arms.
"So what do you want me to do? Stop breathing near him?"
His jaw tightened.
"I want you to set boundaries."
"I already did."
"Not enough."
Something inside me snapped.
"Why are you acting like I'm doing something wrong?"
"I'm not saying that."
"Yes, you are."
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
"I'm trying to protect what we have."
"What do we have, Keif?"
Silence.
That question hit hard.
He looked at me.
And for the first time—
He didn't answer immediately.
"We're not officially anything," I continued quietly. "You said that yourself."
"That doesn't mean I don't—"
"Then say it!"
My voice rose.
Section E, who were nearby, slowly stopped talking.
"You want boundaries? Fine. Give me something real first."
His expression hardened.
"You think this is a game?"
"No," I whispered. "I think you're scared."
That did it.
"I'm not scared," he snapped.
"Then stop acting like I'm going to leave you."
Silence fell heavy between us.
His voice dropped.
"I've watched people leave you your whole life."
That hurt.
"I'm not them," I said.
"But what if you wake up one day and decide I'm not enough?"
My chest tightened.
"You think I'd do that?"
"I don't know," he admitted.
That was worse than anger.
It was doubt.
I stepped back.
"So you don't trust me."
"That's not what I said."
"But that's what it means."
He tried to reach for my hand again.
I moved away.
"Don't."
His face fell slightly.
"Jay—"
"I'm tired of proving myself."
My voice shook.
"I'm not your mother. I'm not your father. I'm not someone who's going to disappear."
"I know that."
"Then act like it."
He looked frustrated. Helpless.
"And you act like I'm controlling you."
"You are!"
"I'm worried!"
"And I'm suffocating!"
The word echoed.
Suffocating.
His hand dropped slowly.
The hurt in his eyes was immediate.
"Is that what I make you feel like?"
I swallowed.
Right now?
Yes.
But I didn't want it to be true.
"I need space," I said softly.
That was the worst thing I could've said.
His expression went completely blank.
"Fine."
One word.
Cold.
And he walked away.
Keifer's POV
I shouldn't have pushed.
But seeing Yuri near her makes something dark twist inside me.
And when she said I make her feel suffocated—
It felt like someone punched my chest.
I don't want to cage her.
I just don't want to lose her.
But instead of saying that properly—
I argued.
Now she won't even look at me.
The next day she sat two seats away.
Didn't text.
Didn't call me Keif.
She said "Keifer."
Full name.
That hurt more than the fight.
Section E noticed immediately.
Cin leaned toward me.
"You two okay?"
"Yeah."
"No you're not."
Yuri looked guilty.
"I didn't mean to cause this."
"It's not you," I said.
But maybe it was.
Maybe it's my fear.
Jay laughed at something Felix said.
But she didn't look at me once.
Not once.
And I realized something terrifying—
I'd rather argue with her than be invisible to her.
Jay's POV
It's been three days.
Three.
We haven't talked.
He tries sometimes.
I walk away.
Not because I don't care.
But because if I talk, I'll cry.
And I don't want him to think I'm weak.
Today he stood in front of me after school.
Blocking my way.
"We can't keep doing this."
"Move."
"No."
"Keifer."
The full name again.
His eyes flickered.
"Say my nickname," he said quietly.
"Move."
His voice softened.
"I'm sorry."
My chest tightened.
"I shouldn't have made you feel trapped."
Silence.
"I was scared," he admitted. "Not of Yuri. Of losing you."
That vulnerability made it harder.
"I'm not leaving," I whispered.
"Then don't shut me out."
Tears threatened to fall.
"I needed space."
"I gave you space."
"You looked at me like I was a stranger."
"Because you wouldn't look at me at all!"
We were close again.
Breathing the same air.
Angry.
Hurt.
Still caring.
"I don't want to fight you," he said.
"Then stop assuming I'll hurt you."
He nodded slowly.
"And you stop pretending you don't care."
Silence.
Heavy.
Honest.
"I hate fighting with you," I whispered.
"Me too."
We stood there.
Neither moving.
Neither fully fixing it.
But something softened.
He didn't touch me.
Didn't pull me in.
Just stood close.
"I'm not your enemy," he said quietly.
"I know."
"Then don't treat me like one."
My voice broke slightly.
"Don't make me feel like I have to prove I'll stay."
His eyes softened completely.
"I'll try."
"I'll try too."
Not perfect.
Not dramatic.
But real.
And maybe…
That's scarier than love