A note from potato_mine
I'm building backlog so maybe possibly in the near future there will be a patreon to read ahead?
Would anyone subscribe tho?
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That night, Camp Stymphalian nearly broke under the weight of Phong's news.
They had gathered after dinner around one of the larger common tables, with firelight and sunflower seeds glow mixing across the camp. The mood had already been strange before Phong spoke. Everyone could tell he had come back from the scorched land carrying something. Alex had that look she got when she was trying not to laugh at a problem because the problem was too absurd. Selena looked like a woman being crushed between scientific curiosity and survival instinct.
That alone was enough to make people nervous.
Phong stood there for a second, trying to think of a normal way to say it.
There was not one.
So he said it anyway.
He explained the pods. The humanoid creatures inside. The pointy ears. The Sky Emperor confirming that Horns of the Earth was the progenitor of elves. The warning that natural-born ones would have been at least level one hundred and twenty. Then the part where a calf version of Horns of the Earth had shown up, looked at the pods, and decided that because they had grown in Phong's land and been nursed by his plants, they were now Phong's responsibility.
Then he explained the limit.
Level one to start.
Growing with Phong.
Silence followed.
Long silence.
The kind that came when a camp full of experienced people all needed the same moment to accept that reality had once again bent itself around Phong specifically.
Dominic dropped his head into one hand and groaned.
"I want a normal friend for once."
Jake laughed into his cup.
Jack rubbed at his face like that might somehow help.
Joanne looked at Phong with open accusation. "You can't keep doing this."
Phong frowned. "Doing what."
"This." She waved both hands at him. "Whatever this is. You go outside and come back with mythological consequences."
"That is not on purpose."
"That somehow makes it worse," Dominic muttered.
Across the table, Séline and Camille exchanged a glance.
Then Séline shrugged.
"We considered the farm boy an anomaly from the start."
Camille nodded once. "This only confirms the pattern."
Phong groaned immediately. "You two are enjoying this too much."
"Not the situation," Séline said.
"The confirmation," Camille added.
Alex leaned on his shoulder, smug on his behalf. "I enjoy both."
"That is because you are biased," Selena said.
"Yes," Alex replied. "Correctly."
Alexei, who had been listening with steadily increasing brightness in his eyes, suddenly raised a hand.
"I can take babysitting duty."
Every head turned to him.
He straightened, clearly sincere and only making it worse by the second. "I have experience with unusual life forms, strong observational discipline, and excellent nest-protection instincts."
Rico squinted at him. "You sound suspiciously prepared."
Alexei placed a hand on his chest. "I merely wish to help."
No one bought that for a second.
The memory of him being weird about Little Fireball was still far too fresh.
Dominic pointed at him. "No."
Jake nodded. "Absolutely not."
Jack crossed his arms. "Not even a little."
Joanne looked almost offended by the idea. "The elves are not chickens."
Alexei drew himself up. "I did not say they were."
"You didn't have to," Selena said.
Even Nyx, sitting on a nearby chair like a small dark queen, stared at him with visible disapproval. Bruno let out a soft huff, which in his case was basically agreement.
Alexei sighed like a misunderstood saint. "My generosity is wasted here."
"It is feared here," Jake corrected.
The table dissolved into overlapping comments after that, too many at once, and Selena apparently decided the camp needed to be steered away from the fact that Phong now had dungeon-grown elf children in giant pods.
So she slapped a hand lightly on the table.
"We need a team name."
That cut through the noise better than expected.
Dominic blinked. "What."
Selena gestured at all of them. "If you decide to listen to Emma and enter the national tournament, then 'Dominic's team' is not good enough anymore."
Dominic opened his mouth, then closed it again.
Because annoyingly, she had a point.
Joanne leaned back in her seat. "She does, unfortunately, have a point."
Jake groaned. "Oh no."
Jack looked even less pleased. "This is going to be bad."
"It is going to be great," Rico declared, slamming both paws onto the table. "I'm prepared."
Phong, already tired from the day, felt immediate dread.
He was right to.
Rico stood up on his seat and spread his arms wide. "Kamen Raccoons."
Silence.
Then Jake burst out laughing so hard he nearly tipped backward.
Rico looked offended. "It has style. It has mystery. It has masked justice."
"It has you," Joanne said.
"Which is more than enough."
Nyx flicked her tail and, in the tone of a cat who knew she was improving the conversation, said, "Shadow Sovereigns."
Bruno barked once and immediately countered with, "Thunder Fang Champions."
"That is not better," Selena said.
"It is if we get capes," Bruno said.
Nyx narrowed her eyes. "Why would we wear capes."
"Because champions wear capes."
"Stupid champions die in capes."
Bruno gasped like he had been betrayed.
Little Fireball, who had until then been perched near Phong's shoulder, suddenly chirped, flapped once, and jumped onto the middle of the table.
She puffed up, spread her tiny wings, and let out an indignant series of peeps that made her intentions very clear.
Rico translated with absolute confidence. "She says team should be named after Little Fireball."
Phong rubbed his forehead. "You do not know that."
"I know in my heart."
Little Fireball peeped again, louder this time, and stomped one tiny foot like she was demanding formal recognition.
Alex smiled at her. "That might be the strongest campaign so far."
Dominic, perhaps desperate to restore sanity, cleared his throat. "What about Iron Vanguard."
Jake immediately added, "Or Titan Forge."
Jack, who apparently had been infected by gym culture through proximity alone, said, "Fortress Union."
Selena stared at all three of them. "These sound like protein powder brands."
Joanne actually choked laughing.
Séline, who looked personally unconvinced by every English option so far, folded her arms and said, "Les Lances de Minuit."
Camille followed without missing a beat. "Or Les Crocs du Destin."
The table went quiet.
Jake blinked. "I'm not saying that."
"You can learn," Séline said.
"No," Jack replied for him, with immediate conviction.
Dominic tried once and failed halfway through the first French vowel.
Rico pointed dramatically. "American defeated."
"By pronunciation," Joanne said. "As usual."
The suggestions kept going after that, growing more ridiculous by the minute. Half the table wanted something cool. The other half wanted something meaningful. Rico wanted merchandise. Bruno wanted fangs. Nyx wanted dignity. Little Fireball wanted worship.
Eventually, after everyone had spoken and most of the bad ideas had burned themselves out, the conversation slowed.
Phong, who had mostly spent the whole time listening, finally said, "Nemean."
The table turned toward him.
He leaned back a little, then went on when no one objected right away.
"It keeps the Greek myth theme." He glanced between them. "We already have Camp Stymphalian and Camp Harpy. Nemean fits."
Selena's expression shifted first. Interested.
Phong continued, more sure of it as he said it out loud. "A lion makes a good symbol. Easy logo. Strong image. And the Nemean Lion was known for near invulnerability." He shrugged. "Seems like a decent good luck charm."
For a second, nobody jumped in.
Then Dominic slowly nodded.
"…that's actually good."
Jake leaned back, considering it. "Yeah."
Jack grunted once. "Better than Titan Forge."
"Much better," Joanne said.
Alex smiled at Phong, pleased in that warm, private way she got whenever he said something unexpectedly solid and everyone else realized it too. "I like it."
Séline gave a small approving tilt of her head. "Simple. Clean. Symbolic."
Camille nodded. "Usable."
Rico looked disappointed for exactly three seconds before adapting with shocking speed. "Fine. Nemean. But I deserves commemorative jacket."
Nyx flicked an ear. "No."
Bruno barked once. "Yes."
Little Fireball peeped in the middle of the table, which everyone generously chose to interpret as approval.
And just like that, it settled.
Nemean.
A real name.
Not just Dominic's team anymore. Not just a loose collection of survivors and monsters and strange allies dragged together by circumstance. A name with shape to it. With weight.
That changed the air a little.
Not by much.
But enough.
One by one, the night began to wind down after that.
Dominic got up first with Janet, both of them already talking quietly about formations and training. Jake and Jack left together not long after, still arguing over which of their terrible gym-club names had been least embarrassing. Selena headed off with Joanne, Séline, and Camille, the four of them slipping into a side conversation that sounded half tactical, half gossip, and probably dangerous in both directions.
Alexei announced that he would sleep with the animals.
No one stopped him, mostly because that was already strange enough to be self-punishing.
Nyx went with regal disinterest. Bruno trotted after him happily. Little Fireball launched herself off the table and landed on Phong's shoulder as if to say she wouldn't sleep near the paladin.
Then the camp thinned, firelight softening as people peeled away toward their lodges.
Phong stood too, and Alex rose with him without needing to ask.
Together, they headed back toward their lodge under the glow of sunflower light and the watch of a camp that was becoming more impossible by the day.
Behind them, the name still lingered in the air.
Nemean.
Ahead of them waited a lodge, a bed, and probably more trouble tomorrow.
For tonight, though, it was enough to walk beside Alex in the quiet and let the camp settle around them.
Later, when they finally made it back to their lodge, Alex was still smiling.
Phong noticed it the moment the door shut behind them.
Not the soft kind she wore in quiet moments. This one had teeth in it. Amusement. Satisfaction. The kind that usually meant she had spotted something about him that he did not want examined too closely.
Phong set Little Fireball on her usual perch and gave Alex a wary look. "What."
Alex kicked off her boots, climbed onto the bed, and leaned back on her hands. "Nothing."
"That is a lie."
She grinned wider. "Maybe."
Phong sighed and started pulling off his hoodie. "Just say it."
Alex waited until he looked at her again. Then she lowered her voice like she was sharing a secret meant only for him.
"You named the team Nemean to spite Josh."
Phong paused.
"No, I didn't."
Alex's brow rose at once.
It was not even the words. It was how badly he said them.
Too fast. Too flat. Not enough conviction.
She laughed softly and crawled forward across the bed. "Oh, you absolutely did."
"I did not."
"You did." She reached out, hooked her fingers into his shirt, and tugged him closer. "Camp Stymphalian. Camp Harpy. Then Nemean." Her eyes glinted. "You heard about Josh trying to expose the camp and thought, fine, then let's lean all the way into the myth thing and make it ours."
Phong looked away for a second, which was the worst possible defense.
Alex caught it immediately.
"There it is."
"It fit the theme," he muttered.
"Mhmm."
"And the lion symbolism was good."
"Mhmm."
"And the invulnerability thing."
"Phong."
He looked back at her.
She was barely holding in her laughter now.
He tried one last time. "It was not about Josh."
Alex put both hands on his face and kissed him once, slow and warm and very unconvinced.
"Your spite is cute," she whispered.
Phong made a low sound of protest that had no force in it at all.
Alex took that as surrender.
Which, to be fair, it mostly was.
She pulled him down with her, still smiling, and somewhere between one kiss and the next, the argument stopped mattering. Or at least stopped mattering in any way Phong could still track properly.
At some point, Alex decided that since he refused to admit the spite, she would simply make sure he was too exhausted to maintain the lie.
Phong, already having suffered from her idea of "fair consequences" once that morning, realized this too late to be useful.
Much, much too late.
Later, in the middle of warmth and tangled blankets and the very distracting reality of a level thirty-five Arbiter Mindblade deciding to pay close attention to him, the lodge door shifted open by the smallest amount.
Neither of them noticed at first.
That was because Rico had become disturbingly good at moving like a criminal whenever coffee was involved.
The raccoon slipped inside with the care of a veteran thief, eyes locked on the supply corner. He padded over, snatched several sticks of instant coffee, and very nearly escaped cleanly.
Very nearly.
Then the intrusive thought won.
Rico stopped.
Turned.
And saw enough.
There was one long, terrible second where his face lit up with the kind of curiosity that had ended civilizations.
Then he asked, in a thoughtful whisper that still somehow carried perfectly,
"Are the elves considered farmer children? Is this count as cheating?"
Silence.
Deep, absolute, doomed silence.
Rico's eyes widened.
"Oh," he said.
Then he bolted.
The raccoon shot out of the room like he had just robbed a god, coffee sticks clutched to his chest, and behind him came a storm of psychic constructs.
Blades, darts, a spear, something that might have been a very personal expression of outrage shaped like pure force, all of them chasing him down the camp path at terrifying speed.
Rico screamed, "I REGRET MY TACTICAL DECISION," and vanished into the dark.
A lodge door farther down opened a crack.
Dominic looked out, watched the line of psychic death streak after the fleeing raccoon, and blinked once.
"…that's a record," he murmured.
Behind him, Janet leaned around his shoulder, took in the same sight, and nodded.
"Someone is angry."
A few more faces appeared from nearby lodges.
Jake looked half asleep and fully delighted. Jack folded his arms and watched Rico disappear around a turn with enough constructs on his tail to flatten a lesser man. Joanne, from another doorway, pressed a hand over her mouth to hold back laughter and failed.
Even Selena, looking tired and offended on behalf of all scientific dignity, shook her head.
"Rico has a gift," she said.
"A curse," Jack corrected.
"No," Dominic said, still watching the aftermath. "A gift. It just happens to be terrible."
From somewhere deeper in camp came another distant yelp from Rico, followed by a crack of what sounded like a very offended treant.
Jake winced. "He really does know how to draw attention."
"And hostility," Janet added.
Everyone around them nodded at that.
Because there were many things Rico excelled at.
Survival, somehow, was one of them.
But drawing immediate focus, danger, and aggressive intent onto himself might have been his true calling.
Back inside the lodge, Phong lay there staring at the ceiling for one long second, his face buried in one hand.
Alex, still breathing a little harder than usual, looked toward the now-open door and then back at him.
Then she started laughing.
Not politely.
Not quietly.
Phong groaned into his hand. "I'm going to kill him."
"No, you're not."
"He asked if the elves count as cheating."
That only made her laugh harder.
Eventually she leaned down, kissed his cheek, and whispered, "For the record, they don't."
Phong turned his head enough to look at her.
"I was not asking."
"I know."
Outside, someone else started laughing as Rico apparently continued his sprint for survival.
Inside, Alex curled against him, still amused, still warm, and very clearly not done tormenting him yet.
And throughout all of Camp Stymphalian, one thing became clear all over again.
Rico was far, far too good at making every situation become about Rico.