The medallion, etched with strange runes, hung directly before me, as I sat in a meditative pose. It hovered, and next to it hovered a holocron created by my dead mentor, Lorm Decer... To be honest, Lorm was given to me "to teach life." To give such a maximally insecure, self-doubting man a confident one like Lorm... To play on the contradiction between student and teacher offered to him... Classic - so that I, observing him, would at least try to become better. Change some traits of my character. Although it seems to me that Yoda went too far; he could have given someone kinder. Another year or two, and I might have become quite a scoundrel... Though, why wouldn't I be a scoundrel now?
I can, I know how, I practice, so to speak. And I can even be proud... Okay, stop. Better to concentrate. According to the instructions I received, to summon a Ghost, one must use something that has come into contact with the Force of the summoned. Almost any personal item will do, but it's best to use a holocron or personal weapon. In the case of mentor Lorm, I used his holocron. By the way, I didn't need to summon Lorm himself for training. I have his holocron, where all his knowledge of Force techniques was recorded. So, I only needed this summoning to observe the process itself. How and what is done, what will happen?
The Force flowed from me to the medallion, hovering before me, and then connected the medallion with a peculiar thread to the mentor's holocron. The Force was literally swirling around. The medallion itself needed to be charged before use. Either this is done through ordinary meditation, then it might take several days, or even weeks, to recharge, depending on how talented the user is. Or one could force this artifact to absorb the life forces of sentient beings, thus charging it. Shillazh did just that when she used it. But I sincerely did not want to resort to the latter method. Not that I'm an impeccable angel, but to do such a thing just to summon the dead?
Even my enemy, I would prefer to kill rather than use him for this ritual. Therefore, I meditated for a week, dosing myself with bota extract. This drink amplified my already powerful connection to the Force, almost blowing my head off. After each dose, such euphoria washed over me that I wanted to do literally everything... To go fight Plagueis and Sidious, or transform the Republic into something adequate. In general, a stimulating effect that could also make a gifted person relatively inadequate due to stimulation. But, be that as it may, I was able to resist such temptations and even decided that this was a kind of training for the strength of mind and spirit.
Of course, I passed the relevant trials when I was a Padawan. But to test myself further never hurts. The Force was still swirling... Suddenly, it began to coalesce, first into a huge, visible ball of energy, and then the ball began to gradually transform into the silhouette of a sentient being. Such a familiar silhouette of a sentient being that it might even bring me to tears. The silhouette slowly, it seemed for whole minutes, gained a corporeal, clear form, so familiar.
"Aaaah... Phew!" the silhouette said. "What the hell? Where am I? And who are you to disturb my sleep with beautiful Twi'leks?"
Beautiful Twi'leks? Oh, how I missed that. But generally, if I remember correctly, Force-sensitive deceased either go to the afterlife or to Chaos, depending on their polarity. Although it's officially believed that the deceased who don't possess special techniques simply merge with the Force... And personally, I'm interested - what exactly does this medallion do? Does it detach the reflection of an individual personality from the Force stream and summon it here? Or maybe there is no merging with the Force at all. A sentient being who was Force-sensitive simply appears in the afterlife, like the one I saw in the comics, or in Chaos (the Abyss), depending on polarity. In any case, I now have a unique chance to ask Lorm Decer about what actually happens when a Force-sensitive dies.
"Mentor," I grinned, "you're still the same."
"This voice," the Zabrak squinted. "It's familiar. But you remind me too much of a Shadow. They're the ones who can wear such outfits. What tastelessness..."
"I think it's stylish," I noted, lowering my hood.
"Oh, I'd cry right now and hug you, like men do, but I feel I can't. Although, considering what you've pulled me from - killing you would be too good for you."
"What, found a beautiful Twi'lek?" I sighed.
"Better. Do you understand that where I ended up, all the gifted, more or less on the light side of the Force, end up. Including Jedi women, and what's the main advantage of Jedi women?"
"Let me think," I pondered. "Ah, they take care of their physical bodies and are beautiful in the vast majority of cases."
"Correct. I'm glad you received my signature knowledge!" the Zabrak nodded.
"Speaking of women," I grinned. "You know, you've played your hand."
"What are you talking about, my loyal student?"
"About what you did with Officer Dizzy," I replied. "Or have you forgotten? The poor thing wanted a family so badly that she drank stimulants for the reproductive system of sephi, and now... Congratulations, you have a charming daughter named Lily."
"What?" Lorm exclaimed, perhaps too loudly. His eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets. "A daughter?! I have?! Wait... How?"
"Are you kidding me?" I chuckled. "That's what happens when you have sex with a woman. In short, I'll explain: first you need to undress yourself and the woman..."
"Yes..."
"Let me finish..."
"Don't mock me!" the mentor interrupted sharply. "I know perfectly well how children are made! I mean something else. She swore and vowed that she was taking contraceptives."
"I don't recognize you," I looked at Lorm with surprise. "For you to easily believe someone. Where has your all-encompassing cynicism gone, thanks to which you didn't even tell the Order much? And you didn't trust those around you."
"I thought she wouldn't lie..."
What?
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" I burst out laughing. "A woman... And she won't lie! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You've made me laugh."
"What are you laughing at your favorite mentor for?" he said sharply. "Watch out, you might end up the same way!"
"Yeah, only after I stop laughing, and I won't mess up like that," tears welled up in my eyes.
"Don't push it," Lorm Decer said through gritted teeth. "Yes, the medallion's power doesn't give me a full physical form, but I can still hit you with Force Lightning," green lightning appeared on his right hand. "Maybe that will teach you discipline towards someone older!"
"If only the older one himself observed discipline," I said, recovering from my laughter.
"However, it's surprising," Lorm Decer looked around. "So the medallion really works."
"Yes," I said. "It really helps to connect with someone who is already dead. I can't describe the process more precisely. Therefore, I hope you will describe..."
"What happened to me after I died from a stab in the back?" the Zabrak asked. "Well, how to put it... The soul, or consciousness... Falls into some strange hole. It's like a bright shade. I remember being literally sucked in, and then... I was abruptly thrown into a bright space where I felt a huge amount of Force. If I hadn't been prepared, I would have definitely experienced sensory shock from such an abundance of energy. And I would call this place the 'afterlife,' which is divided into two parts. In the part where I ended up, are all those who are more or less light-polarized, that is, users of the Light Side of the Force. But... Not far away, at least from my dwelling place in that space, there is a huge abyss, a void, from which screams and the noise of endless battles are heard, as if it never quiets down. Those who end up in the place I came from are in... an existential meditation, so to speak. It's so peaceful, so... free. In the process of this meditation, you literally create what you want and, realistically, you feel it."
"So you created Twi'leks for yourself and are now resting peacefully?"
"Do you have a problem with that? I've fought for my life since I was a baby, and not just for it. Can't I finally rest? But... Why did you pull me out, Light? What happened at all since my death?"
"Well..." I sat down on a rock, "I summoned you to test the medallion's power, and at the same time not get punched for my audacity. Remember? We wanted to summon great Sith of antiquity, among others, to gain knowledge from them. Like Tulak Hord. And not only him. But I couldn't start with such terrible monsters right away; I had to choose someone softer, more adequate."
"Then you should have summoned Revan," Lorm said. "If you take among all those who can be summoned without getting hit, then Revan is the best option. He's seen so much shit in his life. He's been on the light side, and the dark side, and back to the light side. He knows so many Force techniques..."
"Excellent. And you, of course, know where the object that contacted his Force is?"
"Ah, damn," the Zabrak said. "The irony is that someone truly significant didn't leave much behind. Well, sadness."
"But in any case, I know where the thing that contacted Revan is. I just need to prepare, because this thing is not a holocron, and not even a lightsaber radiating darkness from Revan the Sith; it's the droid HK-47."
"You know where this droid is?"
"Oh yes," I nodded. "I need a protocol droid. And its candidacy is quite suitable."
"And where did your uncertainty go?" Decer suddenly asked. "I don't recognize you. You were usually afraid of everything, but now you've become so confident. You even decided to tease me. It's probably because you became a Knight. Well, alright, tell me more about what else you've experienced while I was resting. And then we'll start working on you. Maybe for you this is a test of the medallion's capabilities, but for me, it's primarily an opportunity to continue your training. And start, perhaps, by showing me a holophoto of my daughter. And tell me everything about her first. And then everything else..."
***
"The fundamental difference between darkness and light, as you know, is the use of emotions during the application of Force Techniques. And Force Lightning is the perfect example. Immerse yourself in Darkness, give in to anger, emotions, and you will get an incredibly powerful version of this technique. But remain calm and rational, and you will get Emerald Lightning, like I showed you. Remember what I've learned over many years of my life - there is no unique recipe: how to act correctly. Even the most vile trick, turned to good, is good, not evil..."
"Yes, but history is full of moments when sentient beings, acting according to this scheme, have slid down a slippery slope," I said. "But generally, thinking so much about the nature of the Force, meditating and mastering techniques, I've started to ponder my own concept of the Force, my own views."
"And it's good that you killed Jonala, otherwise for such musings - you would have been feeding the worms somewhere in the Unknown Regions long ago. But go on, tell me what you've come up with. I'll have a laugh."
"I personally believe that, umm... The Force is just energy generated by the Gifted; it is neutral in itself."
"In principle, yes," he nodded. "It's been clear for a long time, if not to everyone, then to many. But what will you say next? That the Force, of course, has no sides? If you say that, I'll hit you. Because it sounds like Potentium's ramblings. Meanwhile, you yourself have repeatedly seen sentient beings with the Dark Side of the Force. The Force is neutral energy that is distorted by the perception of each sentient being operating it," Lorm said importantly. "Use emotions like anger, passion, malice, and hatred, and you will have the Dark Side of the Force at your disposal. And detach yourself from emotions, and you will use the Light Side."
"Ahem... Strange. The concept of Force Polarity suggests that the Dark Side is the use of emotions, and the Light Side, which by logic should be the opposite, requires detachment from emotions... But logically, it should be something like pure love and mercy for everything around..."
"That's partly why - why every not-so-smart sentient being considers it an honor to present their teaching about the Force for judgment," Lorm noted. "You're not the first to notice inconsistencies in some interpretations that the Order promotes. And you're definitely not the last in this matter. But do you know what's most important?"
"There is neither Light nor Darkness, there is only the Force," I suddenly said. "The Force that we use, detaching from emotions - this is not even the Light Side in the usual sense; it's more like something close to a neutral Force, without color..."
"Hey, are you listening to me?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"But the theory is amusing," Lorm chuckled. "And explain - why then are there so many fallen to the Dark Side? Your idea that we use neutral energy is amusing. But..."
"But why are fallen Jedi not uncommon?" I asked. "I myself, when I was Kuromaru's Padawan, dealt with two at once... Because much of it is tied to understanding the concept of the Force. If its understanding and interpretation. What if we consider the Light Side not that polarity?"
"Yes? What about such polarity - I didn't end up in the Abyss..."
"But were you a sinless angel who ended up in paradise, mentor?" I asked him. "I remember perfectly well what you were like. You didn't shy away from sexual relations, and from threatening death, and from killing even when you could have avoided it... No, it's not that there is a Light Side, which is right, and a Dark Side, which must be destroyed. Darkness itself is not a phenomenon that exists outside of us. Darkness comes from us. And to divide techniques into: 'this is clearly the Dark Side' and 'the Light Side, a good thing' - I think it's foolish. Our life is not the Force, but our actions. You were clearly not an angel. But you ended up in the so-called 'paradise' for good-natured Gifted. Because you didn't give in to emotions completely. The so-called Dark Ones - mostly just plunged into darkness, irrevocably. One must fight not so much against Darkness as against those who direct it for evil."
"In other words, if a Sith appears who is 'good,' you won't touch him? Do you hear?"
"What?"
"Jonala's ass is on fire; the poor guy will fly from Coruscant to Tatooine in an instant."
"So he's dead..."
"After your words - I'm not sure. Most likely, he'll turn over in his grave so hard that the energy will be enough for half of Coruscant."
"Enough of your jokes... But no, Sith are those who completely surrender to their Darkness. Sooner or later, they will attack us themselves. It's just how it is among the Gifted who look at the Force through emotions."
"In short, you'll soon propose your own Code."
This is generally a law of the isekai genre. In Harry Potter - everyone must learn Avada Kedavra. In Naruto - create Rasenshuriken. And in Star Wars - to quarrel with the Jedi Council and offer your own view of the Force... But if you think about it - everyone has their own Darkness. The Dark Side exists in everyone. And now we can conclude - the focus is not on denying it, or not succumbing to its temptation. The focus is on looking within yourself, seeing it, and accepting yourself as you see yourself there. By denying the darkness within yourself, you only make it easier to succumb to it. But to look within yourself, to think and understand - that you are essentially the same sentient being... That's what Jedi need. Not to deny, but to understand that they are also living sentient beings, not insane biorobots, and the latter, in my opinion, is exactly what the Jedi Code demands. No emotions, fear nothing, attach to nothing. Live anywhere and feed on the Holy Spirit of the Great Force... Nonsense, if you look at it.
This is why the sentient beings we supposedly protect will betray us. They will understand Palpatine, the Sith, far better than the Jedi monks. A Sith, who succumbs to and controls his passions, is understandable because they see that he has the same feelings and emotions… Yes, slightly exaggerated, considering what emotions Sith love. But sentient beings will always be with those they can understand, who are similar to them, at least in part… Not feed on fairy tales about the common good, the will of the Force, and so on… I have much to ponder in this path, but for now, I saw two main problems. The first is that the Jedi do not want to act themselves. And the second is that the Jedi do not try to understand the sentient beings they are supposed to protect. They don't understand us, we don't understand them, and on top of that, our own inner demons constantly get in the way… Well, I'm in deep. Everything was good in that life – wait for the weekend, play games, read books, jerk off, maybe go see a prostitute… And now what? Deal with galactic-scale problems?
But in general, it's the right thing to do. It's high time to start developing my views in a more meaningful form, otherwise, major reforms without any defined idea are a hopeless endeavor. And it doesn't matter when these reforms are carried out. Training with a mentor and the boost from the bot helped me improve. The bot extract accelerated my progress in many techniques. But it wasn't just the Force I was developing lately. Gradually, I better understood Jar'Kai and trained my physical body. Considering that the gravity here is a bit stronger than recommended, my muscles were given an additional load. Mostly, I spent my time in the cave, where I could also grasp the theory, trying mainly not to be seen on the base, only going there to collect the harvest. The gangsters of the "Black Sun" also flew to the base a couple of times, collecting a batch of bots and immediately flying back. Since I hacked their main computer, I had their arrival schedule, so we never crossed paths. The gangsters were led by a Rodian with bluish skin. Her name was Nigzore Amari, and honestly, I didn't like her from the start. She exuded a strange aura… And it was clearly not Force Sensitivity… After a period I determined, a Star Way VV arrived on the planet under invisibility. I had to pass tests at the Anaxis Citadel. I also checked my mail for an urgent mission. The Shadows had something like a common forum where the Order's requests could be posted. Any Shadow could respond to such a request. There were also specialized missions for which a special Shadow was selected, usually, they were contacted…
However, the Shadows themselves were always on missions, I heard that somewhere. That even when not on an Order mission, a Shadow still fulfills its purpose. However, like every Jedi, but this applies to us especially. There was no specialized mission from the Order for me this time, but there were several "common missions" that any Shadow could take. After passing the required exams at the Citadel, I plunged back into my studies. In the morning, meditations and mastering Force techniques, consuming bot extract; at noon, I had a habit of training in the physical aspect, regularly giving myself challenges in timed runs over a certain distance. And in the evening, I studied the theory of controlling a combat starship in the Anaxis materials. You can declare "correct ideas" as much as you want. But the fact is the fact – without abilities, skills, and talents, they are just loud words. Therefore, I dedicated my time to my training, for the umpteenth time, putting aside reflections on future achievements… Until I become strong enough to prove my words not only by the fact that the truth is on my side but also by confirming them with actions. After all, as it was said in the "Leadership" course at the Alderaanian University – a true leader is not one who shouts loudly, but one who can turn his shout into meaningful action. A typical "a man said – a man did," dressed in a bookish version, which was hammered into me first at the Alderaanian University, then Jacob also told me how to act in practice, and now at the Anaxis Citadel – essentially teaching the same thing. Not to say what needs to be done, but to do it… Like personal growth courses.