I lost count somewhere after the hundredth death. Maybe the thousandth...? Time doesn't exist here; only the cycle.
I don't get hungry. I don't get thirsty. I only get tired when the beast sleeps, and even then the sleep is thin, like dozing on a train rails within an abandoned, dust-filled bunker.
I used to wait for it to starve. I vanish, after all. No meat left behind. But it never weakens. After it rips me open a few times it just curls up somewhere, belly full of nothing, and snores… Breathing soundly. It doesn't need food. It just likes killing.
Predator. Prey. That's all we are.
Kazuya's voice still visits in the black between deaths. My mom in the bunny suit.
"Look well, cabbage-head. This is how you fuck a woman."
I've watched it so many times the scene has no color left. The pain used to spike. Now it's just…
… Boring.
[CLANG]
And in the latest death... In that dream.
I wore my armor.
And then I woke up.
I was no longer bored.
I was no longer scared.
Nothing rang anymore.
I could even remove my helmet without curling in fear. I didn't need any justifications or reasons anymore.
And for once in this entire endless cycle where I tried to hide from that mutt as much as I could... Something inside me wanted to find it instead.
[CLANG]
So, I looked for it.
After a while, I found the thing sleeping again, ribs rising slow and peaceful, I thought:
'If I have to die anyway... why wait?'
My legs then moved on their own.
I charged. Full sprint, shoulder down, plate armor screaming. Smashed my helm into its snout like a battering ram against flesh.
Blackness came instant. I bet it was angry, being woken up like that. I know I'd be...
But as for me...
I just respawn. Armor perfect, body perfect, Van's skull hanging at my belt again; though this time I attached it to my back; having learned from my earliest deaths.
Just like my last death, I decided to go find it again. The monster.
[CLANG]
I found it in the same chamber, sleeping peacefully after tearing me apart.
Same logic in my head.
'If I have to die anyway... why wait?' I reasoned again.
Charged again. Died again.
Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.
Sometimes it was already awake and gutted me mid-stride. Sometimes it was curled in a different corner. I learned every sleeping spot. I just searched for it in every single one. Same reasoning:
'If I have to die anyway... why wait?'
Oddly enough, I've never grown tired of it once I started chasing the beast. I've never felt fatigued at some point. I never felt the need to reason with it.
I just ran towards it dozens... Then hundreds, then thousands of times, all the time, immediately.
And then... That monster did something new as I barreled towards it.
It ran.
[CLANG!]
The moment it saw me it scrambled up, the same paws that gutted and tore me apart were raised; turning the other way, and bolted into the dark.
"H... Hah." One laugh emerged from my mouth.
But I didn't reason with it.
[CLANG!!]
'If I have to die anyway... why wait?' Reverberated in my mind like a beacon.
[ROAR, MIGHTY STEEL!]
"̷͎̋C̷̘̓ ̴̹͐O̴͈͊ ̷̺͒M̴̛͖ ̵̢͑Ė̷͉ ̴̟̄ ̴̥̎B̵̆͜ ̸͈̉Ą̸́ ̶̮͝Ć̸̬ ̷̬̿K̶̦̕.̶̥̍"̵ I let out, my voice echoing throughout the corridors, despite not shouting.
I chased. My armor clanking, arms flailing clumsily like broken pistons. It bowled me over one time, tore my throat out the other, but I was back and found it again before its saliva dried.
[CLANG!!!]
One death I found it trying to wedge its bulk between a crack in the wall. Reminded me of my first death, when I tried to hide from it in futility. I could see its huge legs kicking against the stone floor, desperately trying to push its huge body deeper inside.
Away from my reach.
[CLANG!!!]
But I found him, nonetheless. He must've been too stressed to notice I saw it hiding.
It yelped as it tore me apart.
And then yelped again as I came back.
[CLANG!!!]
After that it stopped pretending. It flees on sight now, refusing to kill me. Scrabbles around corners, claws pulverizing stone, looking for corridors that I haven't mapped yet. But the dungeon is small, and I never tire and I never stop coming.
I don't let it close its eyes for more than five minutes at a time.
Sometimes it catches me and crushes my ribcage. Sometimes I catch it dozing and bash its skull in with my gauntlet until the blackness takes me from his frenzied, terrified paw. Doesn't matter. I'm back in seconds, perfect...
... Smiling, for reasons yet unknown to me.
[CLANG!!!]
It whimpers now when it hears the clank of my armor.
And only now, after it curled trembling in the farthest dead-end, ribs heaving, staring at me like I'm the monster...
Only now do I finally understand the joke.
I don't need sleep. I don't need food. If it tears me apart I come back whole, no scars, no fatigue, no consequences.
But it does.
[CLANG!!!]
It needs rest. It needs peace. It needs the prey to stay dead.
I am the only thing here that can't be killed.
[CLANG!!!]
"Look here cabbage head, this is how you fuck a woman—"
But this time, I stood up.
Full armor.
[If the steel won't break,]
I will not run anymore.
[Then, the hammer…]
"Not this time." I spoke, punching a hole through hers and Kazuya's stomach.
She merely smiled.
I will keep hunting until its eyes are red threads, and its legs shake and it begs with those low broken growls for just one hour of sleep.
[... Will break instead.]
I won't give it one minute.
"Where are you?" I asked as I ran. Finding the dog sleeping in yet another room I've mentally mapped.
I barreled towards it, clashing against it, thrashing against its fur.
But it wouldn't kill me.
'Is it just stubborn?' I thought to myself as I backed away, readying another hit..
... And that's when I noticed that his stomach wasn't moving.
He wasn't breathing.
And that's when the message came.
[You HAVE SLAIN The Guardian of The Final Circle
'....'
"I… I'm here," I couldn't help but say as I stepped near.
"H… Hey." I called softly.
No response.
"HEY!! I'M HERE!!" I shouted.
Nothing.
"Wake up!! HEY!" I yelled as I got near it.
'What is this?'
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" My voice cracked.
"DON'T—" I was about to scream, but suddenly—several digital messages appeared before my eyes.
[YOU HAVE LEVELED UP!]
[YOU HAVE LEVELED UP!]
[YOU HAVE LEVELED UP!]
...
[YOU HAVE LEVELED UP x154!]
[YOU UNLOCKED A NEW F-RANK SKILL!]
"FUCKING..!"
I wanted to shoo those messages that stood between me and the mutt for God knows why.
'....'
With a grunt, I opened my status window.
Name: Makoto Tanaka
Level: 155
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 17.4
Class: Grunt (F Rank)
[STAT POINTS AVAILABLE: 775]
[Stats]
320 STR.
320 INT.
320 DEX.
320 VIGOR.
320 RES.
[SKILL UNLOCKED: HARD SWING(F)]
[Description: Swing a fist or a sword twice as strong as your base strength, and twice as fast.]
[Cooldown: 1s]
[Mana Cost: 10%]
'...'
'... Alright.' I closed it.
There.
'I saw what I needed to see for now.'
I looked down as I walked toward him. His stomach wasn't moving for a while.
'He's... Really dead.'
My fist clenched.
'For fuck's sake…'