Chapter 193 — Unfamiliarity
The slaves came running and removed his wind cloak, then took off his armor.
The steward who had once worked in the Jurchen camp oversaw it all.
Most of the faces were unknown to him.
"What shall we do with the armor?"
"Clean it and repair it."
"Loyalty."
Hearing the military reply, Yeongu turned back.
The man was middle-aged.
"Were you in the army?"
"I was captured at Yeonggangju."
"Are you Xi as well?"
"I am Balhae."
"I see."
Yeongu took off the clothes stiffened with dried blood and changed into fresh garments.
The upper and lower pieces were the same length.
A neat division into two parts.
This was Goryeo clothing.
The steward asked, "How shall we prepare your meal?"
"I ate at an inn on the way. I'm fine. What is your name?"
"I am Dorogan."
"Very well. I want to rest, so send everyone out and let no one in."
"Will you not wash?"
"It's troublesome. I'll do it tomorrow."
"Loyalty."
There was the scent of the army in Yeongu's manner of speaking.
Those who sensed it answered with familiar military salutes.
There seemed to be many slaves, for they stood at the entrance like guards.
Yeongu waved his hand.
One of the slaves at the doorway came running.
He was carrying a sword.
"I would prefer not to see you."
"Loyalty."
Those guarding the entrance withdrew to a distance.
Was this my room?
He looked around once more as he crossed the threshold.
The space in his memory did not overlap with what stood before him now.
In the past, this had been a room kept in the rear annex.
It had been closer to a place for storing things than a place where a person stayed.
Yet now they called it his room.
His hand touched the lattice door.
Inside the house that should have felt familiar, an unfamiliar texture reached him first.
The floor had been set in order, and the bedding lay neatly spread.
The traces of someone preparing the room for him were clear.
This was a place made during the time he had been absent.
It was not a place marked by the life he had lived here, but a space prepared with his return in mind.
That made him move even more carefully.
Even as he stepped inside, the feeling of standing one step back remained.
He looked for a place to sit, then stopped for a moment.
His mind understood the words that this was his place, yet his body did not accept them at once.
He had returned home, yet it felt like a place he had entered for the first time.
He heard signs of someone trying to come in, but Dorogan blocked the entrance.
"He ordered that no one be let in."
The footsteps that had paused at the threshold turned away.
The sound of shoes brushing the end of the wooden floor broke off briefly.
It was his uncle's step.
With a single door between them, the sound grew distant.
The presence that had tried to come inside a moment ago scattered outward.
When the family's fortunes had been falling, no one had come.
Back then, the space before this door had always been empty.
There had been no footprints and no presence.
Only the sound of wind had gone in and out.
Now it was different.
Various footsteps continued to pass.
They stopped at the threshold, lingered with curiosity, then turned back again.
Unable to enter, they hovered outside.
What were they hoping for by doing this?
Low laughter flowed from beyond the wall.
Unfamiliar voices passed lightly back and forth.
The interior, emptied of people, sank into stillness, while outside, small noises continued in restless disorder.
The empty space from the days of silence overlapped with the unsettled footsteps of the present.
What remained between them was the changing heart of people, and an emotional discomfort that had changed very little.
O Geol-mae had bought land and sent slaves.
As a result, she had made it possible for the household to support itself without Yeongu.
It was a rough arrangement, based on the Jurchen way of thinking: land and slaves.
Yet in the end, it had formed a Goryeo estate.
A way of living by having slaves cultivate broad fields.
That, too, felt unfamiliar.
This had once been a fallen household with nothing worth begging from it…
He lay on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.
His breathing lengthened.
It was the aftereffect of long practice.
As soon as he looked inward for a moment, his gaze was already following the end of his breath.
He wondered what he should do now, then thought he might visit Oryang Mountain tomorrow.
When he was with the young immortal Oryang, his heart felt at ease.
Perhaps the strange feeling of being a returning soldier would fade as well.
Or perhaps someone sent by Park Geun-su might come tomorrow.
If no one came today after he had waited at the Ministry of War, then no one would come tomorrow either.
Could waiting for the chance to be refused truly be called waiting?
There were many thoughts.
When he closed his eyes, even more rose up.
He thought of practicing sword movement out of habit, then gave that up as well.
The drunkenness took him, and he fell asleep at once.
After a long wait, he sank into a sleep deeper than death.