The coming days were a complete disaster.
Keifer was jealous.
Sam was jealous.
The plants were probably jealous too.
"Shut up."
"YOU shut up."
"I knew her before she even knew you existed."
"And?"
"And that means I'm important."
"Congratulations. Do you want a medal?"
"I want respect."
"Then you're in the wrong friend group."
Jayjay was sitting a few feet away with a family-sized chips packet.
She wasn't eating.
She was staring into the void.
The void seemed concerned.
"One more word," she muttered, "and I'll become a kitten and bite everyone."
Sam blinked.
"A kitten?"
"Yes."
"Not a tiger?"
"No."
"A dragon?"
"No."
"A demon?"
"No."
"A kitten."
Jayjay nodded.
"They are tiny creatures powered entirely by violence."
"Fair point," Sam admitted.
Keifer pointed at his neck dramatically.
"Well, Jayjay, you can bite right here."
Jayjay slowly looked up.
"I'll kill you."
"I'd love to die in your hands."
"Shut up."
"Make me."
Sam threw a chip at Keifer's forehead.
"Can you two stop flirting aggressively for five minutes?"
"We're not flirting."
"We're absolutely not flirting."
"You said you'd love to die in her hands."
"That wasn't flirting."
"Then what was it?"
"A statement."
"A stupid statement."
"A romantic statement."
"A stupid romantic statement."
Jayjay grabbed another handful of chips.
"Why is this my life?"
Nobody answered.
Because nobody knew.
Keifer sat down beside her.
A little too close.
Jayjay immediately shoved him away.
"Personal space."
"I was respecting your personal space."
"You were literally sitting on my hoodie."
"Technical details."
Sam appeared on her other side.
"Move."
"No."
"Move."
"No."
"Move."
"No."
Jayjay looked between them.
Then at the sky.
Then at the ground.
Then back at them.
"I wonder if bears accept human adoption requests."
"What?"
"What?"
"I'd like to live with bears."
Sam nodded thoughtfully.
"Reasonable."
Keifer pointed at him.
"Stop agreeing with her."
"I agree with her because she's smart."
"She's eating barbecue chips for breakfast."
"She's still smarter than you."
Keifer gasped.
"Wow."
"Wow."
"Wow."
"Stop saying wow."
"Wow."
Jayjay threw another chip.
It hit Sam.
"Friendly fire!" he yelled.
"It wasn't friendly."
"Oh."
A moment of silence passed.
Then Sam suddenly said,
"Jay, you could've dated a normal human."
"A normal human?" Keifer scoffed. "Have you met humans?"
"Good point."
"You two are proving my point."
Jayjay sighed dramatically.
"I'll marry Snorlax."
The room fell silent.
Sam sat up.
"I can be your Snorlax."
Keifer immediately pointed at him.
"You are literally built like a stick."
"I can emotionally be a Snorlax."
"That doesn't even make sense."
"It does in my heart."
"No wonder your heart needs supervision."
Jayjay buried her face in her hands.
"I don't know either of you."
"That's impossible," said Sam.
"We're unforgettable."
"Unfortunately," Keifer added.
"Unfortunately," Jayjay added
---
Both continued arguing.
At this point they were standing so close that, from certain angles, it looked less like a fight and more like a very aggressive romance scene.
Jayjay slowly lowered her chips.
A grin spread across her face.
Not a normal grin.
A gremlin grin.
The kind of grin that had started several disasters before.
"Guyssssss..." she sang.
Both of them turned.
"What?" they said in unison.
Jayjay gasped dramatically.
"Awwwww."
"What?" Keifer asked suspiciously.
"You two look adorable."
"We're fighting."
"I know."
Sam narrowed his eyes.
"So?"
"You know those enemies-to-lovers stories?"
Both boys immediately looked horrified.
"No."
"Absolutely not."
Jayjay ignored them.
"Imagine this..."
She stood up and started narrating dramatically.
"The rain pours."
"There is no rain."
"The rain pours," Jayjay repeated.
"There is literally sunlight outside."
"THE RAIN POURS."
Sam sighed.
Keifer pinched the bridge of his nose.
Jayjay continued.
"Then Keifer grabs Sam."
"No."
"And aggressively pins him against the wall."
"NO."
"The tension."
"There is no tension."
"The unresolved feelings."
"There are no feelings."
"The eye contact."
"We're looking at you."
"The forbidden love."
"JAYJAY."
She raised her hand.
"Don't interrupt the cinema."
Sam looked at Keifer.
Keifer looked at Sam.
Both looked concerned.
Jayjay continued narrating.
"Keifer's eyes burn with passion."
"They burn with irritation."
"Sam's heart races."
"Because he's running out of patience."
"Then Keifer whispers..."
She deepened her voice.
"'You were always my rival.'"
Sam immediately joined in.
"'And you were always ugly.'"
Jayjay pointed.
"YES. PERFECT. KEEP GOING."
"We're not helping."
"You literally are."
Keifer grabbed a cushion and threw it at her.
She dodged.
"The lovers are becoming violent because they cannot express their emotions."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING."
Sam folded his arms.
"Why am I even in this story?"
Jayjay thought for a moment.
"Because every romance needs a male lead."
"I don't want to be a male lead."
"Too late."
"I resign."
"Resignation rejected."
Keifer groaned.
"Can I leave?"
"No."
"Why?"
"The chapter isn't finished."
"There is a CHAPTER?"
"There are seven."
"SEVEN?!"
Jayjay nodded proudly.
"I already have titles."
Sam looked terrified.
"You wrote fanfiction about us?"
"Several."
Keifer stared at her.
"Burn them."
"Never."
"Delete them."
"Over my dead body."
Sam suddenly pointed at Keifer.
"Wait."
"What?"
"If she's writing romance stories..."
"Yeah?"
"Why are YOU always the one pinning ME against walls?"
Jayjay froze.
Keifer froze.
There was a long silence.
Then Jayjay slowly shoved a handful of chips into her mouth.
"Moving on."
"JAYJAY."
"NEXT SCENE."
"ANSWER THE QUESTION."
She backed away.
"No further comments."
"ANSWER."
"Nope."
"ANSWER."
Jayjay pointed dramatically at the sky.
"LOOK! A DISTRACTION!"
Neither of them looked.
"Damn."
Then, without warning, Sam grabbed Keifer's shoulder.
Keifer blinked.
"What are you doing?"
Sam turned to Jayjay.
"Like this?"
Jayjay's eyes widened.
"OH MY GOD."
"Sam, let go."
"No. We're helping."
Keifer immediately caught on.
A dangerous smile appeared on his face.
"Fine."
He leaned slightly closer.
Jayjay dropped her chips.
"NO WAY."
"Sam," Keifer said dramatically.
"Yes, my rival?"
"If fate had been kinder..."
Jayjay was wheezing.
"...we still wouldn't be friends."
Sam nodded sadly.
"True."
"We'd probably still be fighting."
"Also true."
They both burst out laughing.
Jayjay looked betrayed.
"You ruined my romance."
"Good."
"You monsters."
"You're the monster."
Jayjay picked up another chip.
"Fair."
And five minutes later, she was already planning the sequel. 😭😂
"CONTINUATION!" Jayjay yelled.
"No."
"Keifer's eyes dropped to Sam's lips."
"NO."
"Without saying a word, he kissed him."
"JAYJAY!"
She ignored them.
"The kiss lasted—"
"IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"
"—approximately seven business days."
Sam looked genuinely offended.
"I've known this man for a WEEK."
"Exactly," Jayjay said.
"That's even worse," Keifer muttered.
Jayjay stood up dramatically.
"Picture this."
"We won't."
"The tension."
"There is none."
"The chemistry."
"There is less than none."
"The longing."
"I long for silence," Sam said.
Jayjay pointed at him.
"SEE?"
"That's not what I meant."
She continued anyway.
"After the kiss, Sam gently places a hand on Keifer's cheek."
Sam looked horrified.
"I met him last Tuesday."
"And?"
"I don't even know his favorite color."
Keifer nodded.
"I don't even know HIS favorite color."
Jayjay gasped.
"OH MY GOD."
"What?"
"You don't know each other's favorite colors?"
"WHY WOULD WE?"
She looked genuinely emotional.
"This relationship is doomed."
"THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP."
Jayjay ignored reality.
"As tears roll down Sam's face—"
"No."
"He whispers..."
She lowered her voice dramatically.
"'Your favorite color is blue.'"
Keifer blinked.
"It actually is."
The room went silent.
Jayjay screamed.
"AAAAAAAAA"
"It doesn't mean anything!"
"It means EVERYTHING!"
"It means blue is a common color!"
Jayjay was already typing.
"No. No. No."
She turned her phone around.
The title read:
Our Love Was Blue
Sam nearly fell off the couch.
Keifer looked ready to jump out the window.
"Delete it."
"Never."
She continued typing.
"Chapter One: A Week Ago."
"Chapter Two: The Eye Contact."
"We looked at the same menu."
"Chapter Three: The Blue Revelation."
"I literally own blue socks."
"SOULMATES."
Sam stood up.
"I'm leaving."
Jayjay pointed dramatically.
"He's running because emotions scare him."
"No, I'm running because YOU scare me."
Keifer nodded.
"That's fair."
Sam stopped.
"Wait."
"What?"
"You agreed with me?"
"Yeah."
The two of them stared at each other.
Jayjay gasped so hard she inhaled a chip crumb.
"OH MY GOD."
"What now?"
"You agreed."
"So?"
"First shared opinion."
"We've had shared opinions before."
"When?"
"Like five minutes ago."
"About what?"
"That you're insane."
The boys high-fived.
Jayjay looked betrayed.
The betrayal lasted exactly three seconds.
Then she grinned.
A dangerous grin.
"Oh."
"No."
"OH."
"JAYJAY DON'T."
"You two are already finishing each other's sentences."
"We are not."
"We are n—"
Both stopped.
Slowly.
They looked at each other.
Then at Jayjay.
Then back at each other.
Jayjay was vibrating with happiness.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS."
Sam pointed at her.
"This is your fault."
Keifer nodded.
"This is absolutely your fault."
Jayjay placed a hand over her heart.
"Look at them."
"We're literally threatening you."
"Look at the teamwork."
"I'M GOING HOME."
"Together?" Jayjay asked hopefully.
Both of them threw cushions at her.
She got hit by both.
Worth it.
"Jay, babe, we're literally fighting for you," Sam said.
"Quit calling her babe!" Keifer snapped instantly.
Jayjay's grin widened.
A very suspicious grin.
The kind that usually ended with property damage.
"Oho?"
"Don't."
"Someone's jealous."
"I'm not."
"You sounded pretty jealous."
"I didn't."
"You did."
"I didn't."
"You did."
"I DIDN'T."
Jayjay looked at Sam.
"He did."
Sam nodded.
"He definitely did."
"Thank you, witness number one."
"Happy to help."
Keifer rolled his eyes.
"You two are impossible."
Jayjay gasped.
"Possessive too?"
"What?"
"You called us 'you two'."
"What does that even mean?"
"Psychologically, it means you've grouped us together."
"Psychologically, I need a vacation."
Sam laughed.
Jayjay pointed dramatically.
"See? He's laughing."
"People laugh."
"Not at bad jokes."
"Your jokes are bad."
Sam immediately stopped laughing.
"Actually, she's got a point."
"WHY ARE YOU HELPING HER?"
"Because this is funny."
Keifer stared at him.
"You've known her longer than I have."
"And?"
"You should know better."
Sam nodded solemnly.
"You're right."
Then he looked at Jayjay.
"But chaos is chaos."
Jayjay placed a hand over her heart.
"A true friend."
"A terrible friend."
"A true terrible friend."
Keifer groaned.
Jayjay suddenly leaned forward.
"So..."
"No."
"So."
"No."
"Soooo..."
"NO."
She smirked.
"You admitted it."
Keifer blinked.
"...What?"
"You said yes."
Silence.
Sam froze.
Keifer froze.
Jayjay looked like she'd just discovered buried treasure.
A very loud buried treasure.
"You said yes."
"To what?"
"To being jealous."
Keifer's eyes widened.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Oh."
Sam immediately started laughing.
Not normal laughing.
The kind of laughing where no sound comes out.
The kind where you're just folding in half and suffering.
"Oh, this is beautiful."
"Shut up."
"He admitted it!"
"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT."
Jayjay was practically glowing.
"Then what did you mean?"
"I meant-"
He stopped.
Because he had absolutely no idea what he meant.
Sam looked delighted.
"Oh no."
"Oh no what?"
"You walked into that one."
Keifer buried his face in his hands.
Jayjay looked at Sam.
"Did he walk into that one?"
"He sprinted."
"I did not."
"He brought snacks for the journey."
Jayjay started wheezing.
"STOP ENCOURAGING HER."
"I can't."
"Why?"
Sam shrugged.
"It's funny."
Jayjay suddenly stood up.
"Attention everyone."
"There are only three people here."
"ATTENTION EVERYONE."
She climbed onto the couch.
Keifer immediately looked concerned.
"Get down."
"No."
"Last time you stood on furniture, a lamp died."
"It was weak."
"It exploded."
Jayjay ignored him.
"I hereby declare today a national holiday."
Sam raised a hand.
"For what occasion?"
"The Day Keifer Accidentally Confessed."
"I DID NOT."
"The holiday shall be celebrated annually."
Sam nodded.
"I support this."
"Of course you do."
"There will be snacks."
"I REALLY support this."
Jayjay grinned.
"There will also be a parade."
Keifer stared.
"A parade."
"A parade."
"For me being jealous?"
"For you being jealous."
"Do u realize I'm jealous cuz he called my wife babe? "
Jay scratched her head
"Who's your wife? "
"You"
"I thought u r jealous cuz male lead called me babe"
"I'm leaving."
"No you're not."
"Why?"
"Because the parade route goes past the front door."
Sam completely lost it.
Jayjay high-fived him.
Keifer looked at the ceiling.
"Dear universe."
"No."
"If you're listening."
"Don't."
"Take me now."
Jayjay immediately pointed.
"Look at that."
"What?"
"Drama."
"I'm serious."
"And dramatic."
Sam nodded.
"Very dramatic."
Keifer looked at both of them.
Then at the door.
Then back at them.
Finally he sighed.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I hate both of you."
Jayjay smiled proudly.
"Awww."
"That's not a compliment."
"It sounded affectionate."
"HOW?!"
Sam patted his shoulder.
"Welcome to our world."
And for the first time in history, Keifer understood exactly why Sam had become Jayjay's ex.
Because surviving Jayjay was a full-time job.
"Aha," Keifer said.
A dangerous smirk appeared on his face.
"Well, as you said..."
Jayjay suddenly felt nervous.
That was never a good sign.
"Was the kiss like this?"
Before she could process what he meant, he leaned forward and kissed her.
For about two seconds.
Maybe less.
Maybe more.
Jayjay's brain had stopped recording.
Her eyes widened.
Sam's eyes widened.
The couch's eyes widened.
The lamp widened.
The entire universe wihen Keifer pulled back.
The smug look disappeared instantly.
As if his brain had finally caught up with his actions.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
A mosquito could have sneezed and everyone would have heard it.
Jayjay stood there.
Frozen.
Sam stood there.
Frozen.
Keifer stood there.
Internally screaming.
Then—
Jayjay's face turned bright red.