Seiji woke with a start.
The memory clung to him, heavy and unwelcome.
He was fourteen again, standing in his small, sunlit bedroom, staring at his mother with a mixture of fear and hope.
"I… I like a boy," he had said quietly, almost a whisper.
Her face had twisted.
A flicker of disappointment. A shadow of disgust.
"A man should fall for a woman… Are you a demon or something?"
Seiji remembered the sting of her words. Not because he hated her, but because they had echoed a truth he couldn't deny.
He had wanted to scream. To argue. To tell her that his feelings weren't a choice—but instead, he had gone silent.
The anger he felt then wasn't toward her. It was toward himself.
Why couldn't he feel what was "normal"? Why did his heart respond to him, to a boy, when he wanted so badly to be like everyone else?
That self-disgust, that confusion—it had stayed with him.
Now, lying in his dorm bed, the memory lingered like a shadow, making his chest ache.
He groaned softly, pushing the blanket off.
"Focus, Seiji," he muttered. "School first."
Campus was alive as usual. Students rushed between classes, laughed in the courtyards, and shared stories from last night.
Seiji tried to blend in, speaking with friends, joking with classmates, even helping a junior with notes. But none of it mattered.
All he could think about was Ryuunosuke.
He had arrived at the old faculty building as usual, half-expecting to see him leaning against the doorway, calm green eyes watching him, that faint smirk that made his heart race.
But the doorway was empty.
A sinking feeling spread through him.
Ryuunosuke wasn't there.
Seiji frowned and looked around, hoping it was just a coincidence. Maybe he had come late. Maybe he was distracted.
But something in his chest twisted.
For the first time since he had met him, he felt a pang of disappointment that wasn't easy to shake off.
He tried to push it aside and continue with his day.
In class, students whispered about the transfer student—though this time it was all speculation.
"Did you see him this morning?" one girl asked another.
"Not even a glimpse… I think he's avoiding someone."
Seiji's ears twitched. Avoiding someone?
He didn't want to admit it, but his heart sank a little more.
Later, as he walked through the cafeteria, he tried to focus on anything else—Aya's chatter, Ken's constant note-taking, the smell of fresh coffee.
But every step felt heavier.
He had been looking forward to this small ritual all week. That little room, that quiet place where he could finally breathe… and Ryuunosuke would be there.
And now… he wasn't.
Seiji clenched his fists. Not at Ryuunosuke, not at anyone—but at the quiet, stubborn part of himself that had made him care too much.
"Why do I even care this much?" he muttered under his breath.
No one noticed.
He wanted to shake it off, to focus on school, on friends, on normal life.
But deep down, he knew…
Ryuunosuke had become more than just a rumor, more than just a student at his school.
He had become a weight on Seiji's heart.
And now that weight was heavier than ever.
By mid-afternoon, Seiji wandered back to the old faculty building.
The room was empty. Dust danced in the sunlight, just as it always did.
He set down his bag and sat on the floor.
"Where are you…?" he whispered, though he knew there would be no answer.
The quiet pressed against him, making the room feel smaller.
Then, from somewhere outside, the sound of footsteps echoed softly.
Seiji's heart leapt.
But as he glanced toward the doorway, he saw… nothing.
"…Seriously?" he muttered.
He stood and peered down the empty hallway.
No sign of Ryuunosuke.
A pang of disappointment twisted in his chest.
He slumped back against the wall, arms hugging his knees.
"…I'm definitely overthinking this," he muttered.
But just as he was about to leave, he froze.
A shadow fell across the sunlight streaming through the window.
"…Huh?"
Ryuunosuke's figure appeared at the door—almost. Only his silhouette was visible for a fraction of a second before he vanished again.
Seiji blinked.
"…Did I just imagine that?"
He rushed to the doorway. Empty.
"…Not again…"
The next morning, Seiji arrived at the café for his shift, still distracted.
Aya noticed immediately.
"You're grinning like a total idiot."
"I'm not!" Seiji said quickly.
"Yes, you are," she said, squinting suspiciously.
Ken adjusted his glasses.
"He is," he confirmed.
Seiji groaned.
"Why does everyone keep noticing this?"
Aya leaned closer.
"Don't tell me… someone's on your mind."
Seiji froze.
"…No one."
"…Uh-huh," Aya said, unconvinced. "Sure."
Ken scribbled something into his notebook.
"Observation: subject is emotionally compromised."
"STOP STUDYING ME LIKE A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT!" Seiji shouted.
The café erupted into laughter.
That night, as he lay in bed, Seiji stared at the ceiling.
"Where did he go…?"
The absence of Ryuunosuke weighed heavier than any lecture, any gossip, or any teasing from friends.
Seiji's chest tightened.
He didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to feel it.
But he knew one thing for certain:
He needed to see Ryuunosuke again.