~6 weeks earlier
Enjin liked driving. It could be pretty fun, all things considered, and it was a lot easier than everyone liked to pretend it was. Plus, whenever anyone else –god forbid Gris– drove, it knocked him out like a light. Honestly he was doing everyone a service by making sure they were all awake and alert by the time they reached the jobsite.
...Not that Enjin couldn't use the rest, he hadn't been able to get more than an hour of sleep the night before. But that wasn't too unusual, and he knew he'd be in for a good night of sleep tonight because of it, especially if he managed to get a decent workout in.
It was a simple mission. Go to a polluted zone, take out some trash beasts, come back and get drunk. Standard. And other than the alleged burrowing nature of the trash beasts there was nothing notable about it whatsoever.
Enjin noticed a big pothole a little too late and decided to just test his luck, an action that sent Rudo –who was probably 90 pounds soaking wet– flying up and into an already visibly irritated Zanka, quickly igniting the start of argument between the two.
As much as they argued (and they did argue quite a bit), Enjin could tell there was care under the surface. Their two personalities were unfortunately well suited to causing misunderstandings and miscommunications with each other, but there was no real animosity. Well. Most of the time. He stifled a laugh thinking back to the plunger incident. But really, they were a good team, and especially with the nature of Rudo's vital instrument, Enjin couldn't have chosen a better teacher for him. Even if they did get along like cats and dogs sometimes. Or like siblings.
Luckily though, the argument didn't get a chance to fully come to fruition since Riyo intercepted Rudo quickly by messing with his hair, incapacitating him in a second. At the sight of Rudo's face in the rearview mirror Enjin couldn't help but bark out the laugh he'd been keeping in.
....
The first trash beast was laughably easy to get rid of, and even after the big colony unearthed themselves it was still a simple mission of dodging and hitting ad nauseam. Though it was nice to see how everyone had improved, especially Rudo. His current weapon of choice was some letter opener he'd found shaped like a sword, 3R turning it huge and remaking it in his signature black and red metal. He swung it around like a baseball bat, and while it was working surprisingly effectively Enjin made a mental note to ask Zanka to train rudo on the basics of sword and spear fighting, something he knew he was well-versed in from his time in the academy.
He felt a little bad adding extra to Zanka's plate, since the staff user chronically overworked himself already, but he also knew that he'd probably be more than happy to do it if Enjin was the one asking. His constant need for praise from Enjin especially was the worst kept secret in Cleaner HQ, and on any given day Enjin's feelings about it varied from finding it funny and a bit endearing, to making him absolutely furious at Zanka's so-called family for making someone as talented and hardworking as Zanka feel so inherently worthless. Enjin knew Zanka's siblings probably cared in their own way, deep down, but Zanka certainly didn't, and it was clear to see sometimes how that ate at him.
At least he seemed to be having a good time fighting, something Enjin could read in his eyes despite not being able to see the expression on his lower face. Zanka swung Lovely Assistaff around gracefully and lethally, completely in his element.
When the giant trash beast showed up, Enjin got excited. Now he could finally do some real damage with Umbreaker, something he'd been itching for. He split up the rest of the team, sending Gris with Rudo, since he knew Gris's strength and experience would be able to help their youngest member deal with any unknowns from a new enemy while also giving him room to grow, and Follo with Riyo, since Riyo's attacks worked best when somebody could watch her blind spots and her wide sweeping attacks would compliment Follo's pinpoint hammer strikes well, leaving Zanka to take out everything behind him. He knew Zanka could handle it, and he also knew the fact that Enjin had made him the only solo team would only make him fight better. He wasn't worried for a second.
...
The giant trash beast went down pretty easily, Umbreaker's octo-shedder making quick work of it once he was able to get height. Looked like he was in for a good night of sleep after all, he might even skip the drinking. He stretched and decided to see how everyone else was doing.
Choosing the highest hill he could find, Enjin climbed up and looked around in a big semi-circle. Riyo and Follo were mostly done on the West side, and while he couldn't directly see Zanka from his spot he could see the trash beasts he was slinging around with ease and the occasional quick blue flash of his instrument from behind a hill. Seemed like he was also nearly done and wouldn't have any issues either, not that he expected him to, so he turned his attention to Rudo and Gris. They probably had the most trash beasts left, but they were still fighting well, and he knew this was probably great training for Rudo, especially with Gris there to support him.
Enjin decided to indulge a bit since so one else was around and let his eyes linger on Gris, watching the slightly older man punch and throw trash beasts around like it was nothing. No weapon, no powers, just pure unadulterated strength. Even through the thick fabric of his uniform it was easy to see his muscles, flexing and moving as he did, visible even from a distance. Enjin wasn't frail by any means, and he was one of the biggest cleaners, only 3 cm shorter than Gris himself, but he knew Gris could definitely pick him up (or hold him down) with ease if he wanted to. He must have crazy stamina too, and Enjin really wouldn't mind experiencing it for himself.
At the sound of a weird garbled noise from his choker he snapped out of his thoughts, and mentally scolded himself to keep it together on the job. He waited for a follow-up only to receive silence, and before he could ask anything, Riyo beat him to it.
"Rudo, did you trip and accidentally activate your choker again?"
"Wha- hey! That wasn't even me, turdface!"
"uh huh, suuure it wasn't"
Enjin rolled his eyes fondly. Rudo really was easy to rile up and while he'd normally let it slide for a bit, the both of them still had some more trash beasts to take care of and shouldn't let their guards down to talk.
"Okay, okay you two, quit fighting and get back to- uh. fighting" Good one, got it in one. God this mentor stuff was easy.
He scanned around to find Zanka again and still didn't see him, though he didn't see any more trash beasts in that area either. He mentally made a note to tell him he'd done a good job and didn't worry about it further, since the kid had probably just detransformed his instrument and was heading back to the car, their unofficial meetup point after anytime they got separated on a job. He went back to watching the others.
...
Zanka wasn't at the car. Everyone had finished up, Gris and Rudo bringing up the rear, and he had waited until the last trash beast had fallen on the East side to start moving himself. But when they arrived at the car only Riyo and Follo were waiting there.
Riyo sat on the roof, legs swinging like she didn't have a care in the world, but Enjin had known her for long enough to recognize the slight tension in her body and how she was not-so-subtly scanning the horizon, while Follo had a contemplative expression on his face that slowly morphed into something closer to worry as he noticed them approach. That wasn't good.
"Where's Zanka?" Enjin asked, keeping his voice casual.
"I dunno, we figured he was with you guys, or just taking a long time to finish off his area, but I don't see or hear anything." Riyo answered, her light tone of voice betraying just a bit of worry. "Safe to say he's not with you then?"
Enjin shook his head. "Nah, he's probably just off taking a leak somehere or something."
But that didn't make sense. Zanka had probably been the first to finish. Even if he had stopped to take a dump he still shoulda been back at the car by now. Enjin clicked on his choker.
"Yo, Zanka. Where are you? We're gettin ready to head out, don't make us leave you behind."
Nothing. A damning silence. Everyone shared a look. Enjin pushed back the anxiety starting to rise up in him.
"Zanka. Seriously, we gotta go. Can you hear me?"
Still nothing. Everyone was looking at him. Enjin had to keep it together despite the increasing feeling of dread in his gut. He had to do something.
"Okay everyone, I think we should fan out towards the Southeast and do a sweep of the area. Keep your eyes peeled, there's a chance he's just messed up his choker and gotten lost but he could also be passed out, injured, or trapped. And watch your step as we go, we don't know if there are any stragglers underground."
Everyone had started moving as soon as he'd mentioned sweeping the area, and Enjin tried to remember which one of the countless near-identical dunes he's seen Zanka near the last time he looked.
They'd find him, and probably be teasing him about this in a couple hours over food, something he knew would make him turn red with embarrassment. Worst case scenario they had to rush him back to Eisha or see if the nearby town had a doctor. No doubt if they did they'd charge an arm and a leg for their services but it wasn't like they couldn't afford it. But that wouldn't need to happen. Zanka wouldn't let himself get hurt by such a weak enemy. There was no way.
Enjin kept looking, wandering around towards the area where he thought he'd seen Zanka finishing off the last few trash beasts, calling out his name and straining to hear any response. Listening for any wheeze, or movement from under trash, or anything. But it was as silent as the choker had been.
After about 10 minutes of nobody radioing in he started to really, actually worry. Why did Enjin look away, why didn't he pay better attention to Zanka's battle? Did he miss something? In those flashes of seeing Assistaff, was she slow? Were the trash beasts not flying as far as they should have? He knew Zanka had a bad habit of hiding or downplaying his injuries, had he been injured early on and they'd had no idea? When Enjin split them up had he unknowingly sent Zanka to his dea-
There was blood on the ground.
There was fresh blood on the ground, near the peak of a hill, and Enjin felt like he'd been dunked underwater. He couldn't know for sure it was Zanka's, but it wasn't like anyone else had come back injured. And trash beasts don't bleed. He touched it, heart pounding in his ears. It was still wet, and cool against the metal and plastic of the ground. He had to steady himself. It was only about half a pint at most, nowhere near a lethal amount of blood loss. Especially not for someone like Zanka. He was a fighter, and he had to be around there somewhere. He activated his choker.
"Everyone start heading towards me, I think I found something."
"What do you mean 'you think'? What'd you find?" Riyo questioned suspiciously.
Enjin hesitated, but it wasn't like he could shield the knowledge from them. Especially not once they got there and saw it for themselves.
"Blood."
He heard Riyo swear and increase her pace over the choker.
...
They couldn't find him.
They'd been looking for hours, trying to cover as much ground as they could and other than the blood they didn't find anything. At some point Enjin had subconsciously switched from looking for Zanka's prone form to looking for scraps of clothing, pieces of Assistaff, locks of ash blonde and brown hair, anything at all, and he hated himself for it. And still they found nothing.
It was starting to get dark and Enjin realized he had to make a tough call. He gave one last long look around, hoping against everything that he'd find something. But of course he didn't. Damn it. This was gonna suck. He clicked on his choker.
"Alright everyone, start heading back to the car, there's only so m-"
"Did you find him?!" Rudo's voice broke through.
Damn it. God fucking damn it he hated this. Hated how hopeful Rudo sounded, how desperate.
"...We can't stay out here forever. It's getting dark, we need to go back to HQ."
"It won't be forever though, just until we find Zanka! We can't just leave without him!" Rudo's angry voice argued.
"We'll come back in the morning, as soon as we can. And we'll bring more people, but we can't get anything done in the dark. Stumbling around here exhausted without being able to see is just gonna do more harm than good. We have to go." Enjin put a sense of authority in his words that he didn't feel. He wanted to stay too, visibility be damned. But he was the leader here and he had to make the hard decisions for his team.
"But...it's Zanka.." came Rudo's voice, sounding more like a child than he had in all the time Enjin had known him.
A piece of Enjins heart shattered.
...
The ride back was awful. No one spoke. No one looked at each other. Rudo stubbornly took his normal spot in the middle and the empty spot on the right where Zanka normally sat was only more pronounced because of it. Everything felt uneven, unbalanced. Enjin could see Gris sending him worried looks from the passenger seat out of the corner of his eye, but he just kept his eyes on the road.
...
When they arrived back at HQ it felt like a funeral procession. Riyo had slammed the door getting out of the car and gone inside before anyone else. Rudo moved forward like a zombie, eyes clouded and mind clearly somewhere else, and Enjin suddenly remembered that he'd lost his adoptive father right before being cast out of the sphere. Shit.
They walked into the lobby and Semiu was already waiting for them with a sympathetic look on her face. She spoke gently.
"Hey everyone. Good work on the mission today, I'm so sorry to hear about Zanka. We'll send a search team out first thing tomorrow morning. In the meantime, you all should try and get some rest if you can. The dining hall has stayed open late too, in case any of you feel up to some food. Enjin, I'll keep you for a brief."
He shouldn't be surprised Semiu already knew, even though he'd forgotten to tell her. Informing HQ had been the last thing on his mind, especially because with every passing minute and then hour they were out there he did trulybelieve someone would find him just over the next hill. Because of course they would. They had to. Zanka couldn't just be gone. But they didn't, and he was.
He waited until everyone had walked off to their rooms, Gris giving him a grounding squeeze on the shoulder as he passed, and then it was just him and Semiu.
"How'd you know?"
"Gris called me about 10 minutes before y'all were supposed to be back. Told me Zanka hadn't shown after you all split up."
Of course Gris had picked up the slack where Enjin failed. The man was an angel.
"So," She said. "what happened?"
He told her everything. He found himself struggling for some of the earlier details because the entire thing had been so mundane up until that point. It was just supposed to be a normal, boring mission. He told her about the giant trash beast, about sending Zanka to take care of a quadrant alone, and he could tell from her eyes that she knew he was kicking himself for it. He really couldn't hide anything from her, glasses or no. He told her about the blood, and the search, and how he'd eventually had to just call it.
Semiu listened aptly without interrupting, and once Enjin was done she took a moment to take a deep breath and hum.
"Okay. We traced Zanka's choker location and the last signal before it cut out seems to be around where you last saw him and where you found the blood, we'll focus the search there. You should also get some rest if you can. I'll make sure you're in the main search party. And Enjin?" She waited until he was looking at her, eyes piercing as always but laced with sympathy as they bored into his own. "Whatever happened isn't your fault. These things just happen sometimes, but still, I'm so sorry. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
"I want permission to take a car."
She tilted her head, slightly confused. "...Yes? I assumed you'd be driving with-"
"Not tomorrow. Now. I'm going back out there."
She just blinked. "You can't be serious."
"I'm dead serious. If there's any chance he's still out there he doesn't have a lot of time. I'm not waiting to look for a corpse instead."
"...It's pitch black."
"I'll bring lights."
"Enjin."
"And I'll bring first aid supplies from the infirmary. Or Eisha if she's awake."
"Enjin."
"And I-"
"ENJIN!"
Semiu rarely snapped like that, and it made him freeze. She looked at him, waiting a beat, and then spoke softly, like speaking to a wounded animal.
"Enjin, you know as well as I do what the chances are of him being alive right now. You already looked. You looked everywhere you could in the daylight for hours. If he-" She sighed, choosing her words carefully. "...If there was anything to find you would have found it. You're not stupid Enjin, you know what those digging types of trash beasts do with..." She trailed off, not needing to finish the thought. Enjin already knew. "I would love to be wrong, I really would. I want nothing more than for you to find him and bring him back alive, but you have to be realistic, and you also have to think of the rest of your team. They look up to you, and they rely on you. Especially now. You can't just fall apart on them, and that includes not running off alone into a polluted zone in the middle of the night when you desperately need sleep, and don't try and tell me you don't." she finished, leveling him a glare with one hand on her glasses.
She was right of course, she was right about everything and still, all he could think about was Rudo's broken "But...it's Zanka.."
And it was. It was Zanka. He couldn't just be gone like that. He couldn't.
Enjin could feel his nails threatening to break the skin of his palm by how hard he was clenching his fists. It wasn't fair. He should be out there. But he couldn't be. And he knew it. He finally gave up, tension leaving his body and quickly being replaced by something much more exhausting.
He bid Semiu goodnight in a haze and dragged himself up to his room. He should definitely go eat, but it could wait. He just wanted to sleep right now. He could grab some bars in the morning and take them with him.
As he came up on his door he noticed something in front of it. A bowl, covered in steamed-over cling film with a note and chopsticks on top.
'Eat, and get some rest. We need you.'
It was Gris's handwriting. He took off the film to find a still-warm bowl of simple dashi udon. If he was anyone else he would have cried, and as it was, he quickly went inside his room so no one could see him rub his eyes. Just in case.
...
They still didn't find him.
They searched the whole day. They went over every bit of the area, and then past it. And then back. Then they started digging through trash piles. And still nothing.
In their digging, they disturbed what must have been the last couple trash beasts in the whole area, and they were taken down quicky and with extreme contempt.
(In the remains of one of them, they found a human skull, and while they quickly realized that it was both too weathered and too big to possibly be Zanka's it hung over them like a thundercloud. It marked the point where they switched from looking for Zanka to finding something to bring back. Anything. But there was nothing.)
Enjin found himself back at the spot where he'd found Zanka's blood. It had oxidized overnight, and looked almost indistinguishable from the dark rust that littered the metal around them. In a few days it would be gone entirely. The thought made Enjin sick.
...
He was gone. Zanka was just gone, vanished in an instant forever. It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real. There was no dramatic clash with an enemy, no cathartic self-sacrafice or poetic final words. He was just there one moment and gone the next. And while sudden, unexpected deaths weren't unheard of in the cleaners, usually they at least had something left to grieve. But whatever was left of Zanka was probably buried so far down under trash that his body would never see the light of day again. Enjin just hoped it had been quick, and tried to ignore the knowledge that knowing Zanka, it probably hadn't been.
...
Team Akuta weren't assigned any missions in the following two weeks out of respect, and Enjin almost wished they were. He could really use the opportunity to hit something.
Riyo still wasn't talking to him, or anybody. She was getting angrier by the day and would leave the base for long stretches of time without telling anyone where she was going. Enjin could guess where.
Rudo, on the other hand, locked himself in his room. His eye bags were getting bigger and darker every time Enjin saw him, too many nights staying up fixing things when sleep evaded him. Or maybe it was him that was evading sleep. Enjin tried a few times to talk to him but Rudo refused, insisting he had to work on whatever his latest project was at the moment, since it seemed to change constantly. There was a desperation to it and Enjin didn't have the heart to make him stop by force.
Gris was probably handling it best, an anchor in the storm Enjin was eternally grateful for. Gris checked in on and cared for everyone as best he could, including Enjin. And as much as Enjin hated anyone seeing him like that, if anyone had to, he was glad it was Gris. But Enjin could tell he was hurting too, and he noticed Gris volunteering for more and more missions. He wasn't on the same forced leave, being a supporter and not technically a member of team Akuta, though Semiu made it very clear taking some time off was strongly advised. In the end though, they couldn't enforce it. Especially when Gris did such a good job of acting okay.
Follo cranked up his training to 11. It seemed like every time Enjin passed the gym he was in there. Working out, sparring –usually with Gris but it seemed like he'd take anyone he could get– running, lifting weights, practicing endlessly with his hammer. It reminded him so much of Zanka, of his unending drive to get better, to be stronger. And sometimes, Enjin forgot it wasn't. Sometimes, when he heard the sound of training at odd hours of the night or morning he thought about trying to find a way to get Zanka to relax for a bit, and sometimes he'd even get as far as the door before remembering, and every time it hurt just as bad as the first.
...
He wasn't the only one who kept forgetting, despite everything. A handful of days in, he'd been walking the halls around 5am, having woken up at 3 and not been able to fall back asleep, choosing instead to take a long smoke break on the roof. The sun was just coming up and as he passed the dojo on his way back he saw Rudo just standing in front of it, looking tired and lost. Enjin walked over and while Rudo eventually noticed his presence he didn't stop staring at the door like he was trying to figure it out.
"You're up pretty early, trying to get some training in before everyone wakes up?"
Rudo kept looking at the door. And quietly and more subdued than Enjin had ever heard him, simply went
"It's Sunday."
Ah.
Sunday was the day Zanka and Rudo would train early in the mornings, and the day they'd focus only on sparring, taking advantage of the empty gym to go all out (within reason) either unarmed or with the training weapons. Rudo always complained about having to get up so early, and Zanka griped about having such an ungrateful trainee, and neither of them would ever admit it, but he could tell it was their favorite way to train, and they'd usually finish around breakfast, coming in together, sometimes with more than a few bruises, and settle in their usual seats with a sense of tired contentment.
Rudo seemed to finally snap out of it, looking down at the ground before he started to turn away.
"Forget it. I'm just gonna-"
"Do you wanna spar?" Enjin blurted out.
For a moment it looked like Rudo was just gonna push him away again, and probably go back to his room doing who knows what, but he just stood still. And then, he nodded, and looked up at Enjin.
"Yeah, lets do it." A little light was back in his eyes. Just barely. "If you think you can keep up."
Enjin knew he didn't mean with him.
...
It was around the end of the first week when Enjin heard something from inside Zanka's room.
He froze in the hallway, then walked over and put an ear to the door. There was definitely someone inside. He heard the breeze of an open window, the sound of fabric rustling, and what might have been a whimper of pain.
He scrambled to unlock it in an instant with a key Semiu had given him –though one he hadn't had the willpower to use yet– and yanked the door open, frantic.
Inside, curled up in Zanka's bed with red, tear stained eyes, and looking equally as surprised to see Enjin as he was to see her, was Riyo. They stayed like that for a beat, before Riyo started furiously wiping her eyes.
"Pretty sure you're supposed to knock before barging into someone's room." Her voice was shaky, thick with emotion.
"Sorry, I thought..." He trailed off. By the look on her face, she knew what he'd thought, and looked guilty for it. Enjin wracked his brain trying to figure out what to say.
What are you doing in here? How have you been holding up? Do you blame me? All terrible questions with obvious answers.
Instead, he closed the door and walked over to the bed.
"You uh, got room for one more?"
She looked at him, searching for something in his face, and then to his surprise she scooted over towards the wall before laying down again, leaving a space open for him.
He settled into it gratefully, laying on his back next to her and looking up at the ceiling. He moved around a bit, trying to get comfortable.
"Yeesh, this mattress is so firm it feels like I'm laying on the floor. How does Zanka sleep like this?"
He heard a wet laugh and a sniffle from beside him.
"I know, right? No wonder he's so grumpy all the time."
Neither of them address the fact that they're still using present tense.
There was another long quiet moment where Enjin stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out what to say, or if he should say anything at all, before he heard Riyo's abnormally quiet voice from next to him.
"I found Kuro."
Enjins head shot to the side to look at her, eyes wide.
"Riyo, you-"
"I know. I know it was stupid. But I just....I had to know."
Enjin would be a hypocrite to admonish her for going to the information broker. He'd considered going more than once himself. He had thought about what question he'd ask, and what the broker might ask in return. Whether Zanka was alive had been his immediate thought, but it was thrown out immediately. If the answer was no it would only be an expensive confirmation of what he already knew, and if it was somehow yes they still wouldn't be any closer to finding him. Asking where Zanka was would probably be a better option, but Kuro loved technicalities and even if they got an answer that was anywhere other than where they'd last seen him it didn't mean for sure that he was alive, and even if he was, there was every chance he was moving and his location at that moment wouldn't help. Then he'd thought about asking if the Raiders had taken him, and while that one would give them all the info they needed if it was a yes, it was too specific and had the highest likelyhood of being a no, and then they were back at square one.
"What'd you ask?"
"I asked where he was."
So she had gone with that then. It was probably what Enjin would have gone with too.
"...And what'd he say?"
Enjin already knew. The fact that Riyo was here like this was all the confirmation he needed, but he had to hear it.
Riyo kept staring at the ceiling, and Enjin couldn't do anything but watch as a tear came out of the side of her open eye and rolled down her face.
"He said he was in a polluted zone. Deep underground."
That was it then. The final nail in the coffin. He'd known it was the most likely case, but still.
"He asked if I wanted to know more. He looked...I almost said yes."
No doubt he'd wanted a higher price for it though. Enjin wanted to ask what Kuro had asked Riyo to pay him with, but he'd already pushed her. If she didn't volunteer the information it was clear she didn't wanna talk about it. Enjin understood that better than anyone.
"I'm glad you didn't take him up on it. Not everyone comes back from seeking him out."
"I'm glad I didn't lose you too" went unspoken.
...
The boss had volunteered to break the news to Zanka's family in the Hell Guard, something Enjin had been dreading, and he was more than happy to take him up on it. Enjin didn't have it in him to explain how he'd failed to keep Zanka safe, but he also knew that he couldn't hide his face entirely, and he owed it to Zanka to at least not be a complete coward about it.
He lingered in the hall outside the Boss's office, waiting for the Hell Guard to finish their meeting. Sooner than he expected, the doors pushed open and out of them walked Kyouka Nijiku, with Goka and a few guards following behind her.
Enjin stepped out into the hall, scratching at the back of his neck.
"Listen, Kyouka-"
"Don't." She held her hand up, and while she was composed, her eyes burned with anger. "I have no interest in your excuses. Or your pity. If Zanka failed it's his burden to bear and nobody else's."
She stepped past him and continued walking, and so did the rest of her posse. Enjin didn't know what else he'd expected, but somehow the cold mask of indifference filled him with an irrational anger and he yelled at her back before he could stop himself.
"A failure, huh? Clearly, you didn't know him at all then!"
That seemed to strike a nerve, and Goka whirled around, anger clear on his face, while Kyouka stiffened. She turned just her head, looking at Enjin from the side with a withering glare.
"Watch yourself Enjin. You're lucky the cleaners are still an asset to the Hell Guard's mission, despite your grossincompetence." She faced forward again. "We're leaving."
Goka looked like he wanted to say something more, but fell in line anyway, turning around and walking off with the rest of the Hell Guard, before rounding the corner and retreating out of Enjin's view.
Enjin watched them go, still angry. Their reaction wasn't surprising in the slightest but the fact that Zanka had probably died thinking his siblings despised him and they showed no remorse over that fact was still infuriating.
He turned around and entered the Boss's office. Corvus sat behind his desk, looking at Enjin as he entered with that constant kind but knowing expression.
"How'd it go?" He asked and Enjin huffed out a laugh in response.
"Stole the question right outta my mouth. ...Fine, I guess. Don't know what I expected."
He needed a cigarette.
...
Enjin didn't dream often. Partly cause he didn't sleep all that often. But even when he did, any images his mind conjured up while unconscious were rare to begin with and when they did appear usually dissolved like smoke as soon as he woke up anyway.
But on rare occasions, he'd wake up and be able to hold on to the memory of his dream if he really focused. Most dreams weren't worth remembering, so it wasn't a skill he practiced often. But when he woke up from a dream almost two weeks after Zanka's dissapearence he held on to it, he tried to grab the smoke as tight as he could before it dissapeared.
It had been a memory of Zanka's first birthday with the cleaners. He'd only been with them a few months at that point, but it was already clear to see how determined he was and how he'd be a force to be reckoned with when he got older, even if he constantly insisted on his own averageness. (Now, remembering it, Enjin thought about the fact that Zanka never would get older and it felt like a punch to the gut.)
It had taken a month or two but Zanka had finally managed to find something of a rythmn in the Cleaners, after having to almost be temporarily suspended a couple times in the beginning for overworking himself both in and out of missions. He was desperate to prove himself and while it made him a strong fighter and a quick learner, he was still just a kid, and they'd had to borderline force him to take care of himself. Back then, Enjin often wondered how he'd managed to pick up two surprisingly lethal preteens with issues while still in his mid twenties, but shockingly he found he didn't mind it too much at all.
It had taken a while to get Zanka to stop adressing Enjin so formally, and even longer to warm up to Riyo for reasons Enjin wouldn't understand until later, but Riyo was persistent when she wanted to be, and once she'd finally managed to wedge herself in the cracks of Zanka's armor they became thick as theives.
She'd managed to get his birthday out of him somehow and on the day of, they'd surprised him with some supplies to help him care for and maintain his jinki, newly dubbed as Lovely Assistaff, and some leaf-shaped manju from his hometown.
Enjin had been worried they'd been way too obvious about what they were planning, especially with his "secret emergency mission" a couple days before to retrieve the treats, but the look of genuine shock and bewilderment on Zanka's face had killed any doubt immediately. He'd looked so surprised, in fact, that a part of Enjin had wondered if anyone had ever done anything nice for him before in his life.
It had taken a few seconds for Zanka to even react beyond blank-faced shock, looking down at the manju and gifts before looking up at him and Riyo, and then back down again. To both their surprise, Zanka's lower lip began to tremble and his eyes started to shine with unreleased tears, and Enjin and Riyo shared a brief look of panic before Zanka wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm and looked back up at them with an absolutely blinding smile, thanking them profusely.
It was a good memory, and even drowned in a filter of grief Enjin tried to hold on to it, tried to remember how it felt, what Zanka's joy had looked like in the brief moments he allowed himself to show it.
Enjin hoped he had more dreams like that soon.
...
Slowly, things got easier. Not better, but easier.
Their first mission back was as simple as they came. A cut and dry extermination of a couple medium-sized trash beasts getting a bit too close to Canvas Town. It was in no way a mission that required all of them, but Enjin was glad they all got sent on it together, especially with the way none of them ever left each others line of sight while fighting, and the way he could tell everyone was constantly doing a mental headcount. It took longer than it should have, but they finished the job without issue, and even got to visit their friends in town.
Apparently, the unspoken "line of sight" rule only applied to fighting, because near-instantly Remlin found Rudo and dragged him off to presumably convince him to go cause some chaos. Probably with an unflattering portait of Enjin if he had to guess, by the way they were looking over at him and whispering while Remlin laughed and sized him up with their thumb.
Not that he really minded, it was good to see Rudo actually acting his age for once. The kid had been through way too much already.
Riyo had also wandered off, saying she was going shopping. Despite Canvas Town being maybe the safest place possible on the ground, watching her walk off alone made a spike of panic jolt through Enjin momentarily, before he had to remind himself that it was safe, and she could handle herself. And even if something did happen, he knew all of them were still on high alert anyways. It wouldn't happen again.
By the time he and Gris had finished chatting with the mayor, Rudo and Riyo seemed to have both finished their respective tasks and were ready to head back. It wasn't until they were walking out of the gates and he paused to say one last thank you to the mayor and tell Remlin they were welcome over at Cleaner HQ anytime that he looked forward and realized what Riyo had bought.
Swinging lightly at her hip, attached to the same pouch she used to carry her scissors, was a small charm. A simple blue tassel. It was a bit too dark in color, and a little small, but it was so similar, and it filled his heart with an emotion that threatened to overflow and drown him regardless.
As though she could feel Enjin's eyes on her –or maybe she'd just noticed his footsteps stopping– Riyo turned around, and followed his eyes to the tassel. She reached a hand over to it somewhat sheepishly, running her thumb along it.
"It was the closest they had. I figured if any place had one, it would be here."
Enjin just nodded, afraid of what his voice would sound like if he spoke. And luckily, it seemed like Riyo got it, since she just gave him a sad but knowing smile and loaded into the car.
...
It wasn't all smooth sailing, and they definitely got into more than a few arguments that ended in hurt feelings and somebody storming off.
Notably, the one time around three weeks in when Enjin had mentioned that they'd likely need to take on another combat focused member if they wanted to do the same level of missions as a team that they'd done prior, which was something Riyo had been pushing for lately. He wasn't suggesting it nor did he have anyone even remotely in mind, but it was just a fact that with a missing member they weren't as strong as they used to be and if they wanted to take on the same level of danger without pulling from other teams they needed to add to their ranks. Riyo had absolutely lost it on him, yelling at him for trying to replace Zanka and him yelling back that of course he wasn't, no one ever could, but that they all needed to be realistic about what they could do with only three of them now, one of whom was still learning and now lacking a teacher. The argument had ended with him yelling that he wasn't losing another team member because Riyo didn't feel like playing it safe, and her storming out of the room and slamming the door in his face when he got up to follow.
(She'd found him later on the roof smoking, and apologized. He apologized too, and they both spent a while sitting in silence just watching the city.)
They all had something of an open wound now, and it was hard to tell what seemingly small things would trigger the hurt and grief and anger.
It was those times that Enjin especially wished Zanka was still with them. Tomme really had put it best when she'd joke about how he could knock some sanity into their craziest members, and without his grounding presence the team didn't function like it used to.
But they were learning. Or at least they were trying to.
...
One month exactly –a month already, somehow– after Zanka dissapeared, Rudo dragged Enjin outside the compound, saying he had something to show him. The kid was a ball of nerves, and kept fidgeting with his gloves as he led them around towards the back of the building. Finally rounding the corner, Enjin got a look at a section of the back wall and his heart stopped.
It was a mural. Dazzling, swimming blues in abstract shapes dripped down and surrounded bunches of small, light blue flowers with star-shaped yellow and white centers. And in the center of it all was a painterly rendering of Zanka. His Assistaff fully transformed and being held gracefully in both hands. He somehow looked like he was moving, his tassel earrings swaying through the air like he was getting ready to wind up his vital instrument and leap forward into battle. His expression was relaxed, but calculating, and his eyes seemed to look just beyond the horizon. Enjin couldn't stop looking at it.
Sticking out of the ground at the bottom of the mural was a metal version of Zanka's jinki in its regular stick form, surrounded at the base by welded versions of the same flowers in the painting.
It was a memorial.
He could feel himself getting choked up and he turned to Rudo, who was staring at the ground with the same constipated expression he always wore and scratching the back of his neck, embarassed.
"Remlin did most of it. I just had to show them what the flowers looked like. They grew anywhere there was light up in the sphere, even in the slums. They're known for being hardy. I thought it fit."
Enjin nodded, it sounded like it did.
"They're beautiful. What are they called?"
Rudo didn't answer at first, continuing his staring contest with the ground, before he looked at the metal flowers surrounding the staff.
"Forget-me-nots."
...
The cleaners didn't have funerals in the traditional sense. It was a dangerous job, and everyone knew the risks when they signed up. Some losses were simply unpreventable. Losing a friend and comrade was hard enough, they didn't need to hold a slow, tragic service and steep everyone in misery for days to weeks. Instead, they had celebrations of life. Big parties where everyone ate and drank and told all their favorite stories about the person who had passed. They served their favorite foods, and played their favorite songs, and the night always ended with one final group toast to their fallen friend.
Normally, it would have already happened weeks ago, but since they hadn't found a body they'd held on to the hope that somehow, maybe, he'd still turn up alive. And then, even after that hope had fully withered it was just too hard to admit to themselves that Zanka was gone, and holding a celebration of life felt like giving up on him, leaving him behind.
But they weren't leaving him behind. The mural was proof of that. Riyo's tassel was proof of that. Enjin himself would be proof that. They'd all carry him with them, for as long as they all lived. They had to.
...
The celebration was beautiful, and bittersweet. They laughed, they cried, they shared embarassing and heartwarming stories alike, and for a night it really felt like Zanka was back with them.
Enjin had no idea Riyo had taken so many pictures of Zanka with Tomme's camera, most from when he was asleep or distracted. He quickly understood why, since all the ones where he wasn't were blurry, and usually showed him trying to block the camera's vision or move out of the way.
There was one photo in particular from the inside of the car, the camera at the back left corner, that caught Enjin's attention. It was one of the few times Gris had driven on their way back from a mission, and predictably Enjin was asleep in the passenger seat, the photo catching him mid-snore. Behind him was Zanka, also sleeping, though seemingly much more peacefully, his head resting against the window. Rudo was turned sideways in his seat towards the camera, passed out with some slightly bloody tissue in his nose and one arm on his stomach, using Zanka as a back and headrest while his legs were slung across Follo's lap, who was mid eye-roll and poorly hiding a smile behind one hand, the other reaching for the camera. On the right side of the frame, in the far backseat, was a smiling Tomme holding out a double peace sign.
Enjin casually asked Riyo if he could keep it and she let him have it with a knowing look, claiming she already had extras.
When he finally retired to his room that night, he pinned the photo to the wall above his bed, and fell into the first restful sleep he'd had in a long time.
...
Life went on, and while he took more chances to have his smoke breaks around the back of the building, and still often found himself in Zanka's room, usually with Rudo or Riyo, or both, things started to go back to normal. The team had started to find their equalibrium again, everyone picking up the slack in their own way, and mending the hole.
Enjin was finally starting to feel like himself again, and it seemed like Cleaner HQ itself had released a breath it had been holding for a long time.
Which was exactly why it caught him so off guard when Semiu's frantic voice burst out of his choker in the middle of his smoke break.
"Enjin, get to the front gate now! I think it's- It looks like- Just bring Umbreaker, and go quick! I'll get you some backup."
He was already running, lit cigarette still in his mouth, and he pressed his choker.
"Whats the problem? Marauders? Raiders? How many are we talking?" It must have been a big deal if Semiu wasn't just handling it herself.
Semiu didnt answer, probably on the line with someone else, not that it mattered, because Enjin had already reached the gate in record time, hearing a constant series of kicks banging against it.
He transformed Umbreaker and held it up as he pushed the gate open wide enough to see who was out there, and immediately did a double take. Then a triple take. His brain simply failing to comprehend what he saw. His cigarette fell out of his mouth and onto the floor.
It was Jabber, crazed grin permanently on his face and only growing wider when he saw Enjin's vital instrument glowing, clearly itching for a fight, but that wasn't important. Nothing else was important, because being held to his chest in both of his arms was Zanka, flushed and bleeding and clearly worse for wear but breathing and there and alive.
Zanka had a large patch of dried blood staining the left shoulder of his uniform, and had a strip of Jabber's own purple fabric tied around his waist, partially soaked in blood from a wound on his right abdomen, and the way the fabric made it look as if Jabber had claimed him in some way made Enjin absolutely furious. Zanka's eyelids twitched, and if he was conscious it was only just barely, face flushed and clearly feverish. Lovely Assistaff in her wooden form rested on top of him, Zanka's arms loosely tossed over her, holding her to his chest, and looking at her Enjin suddenly realized she was damaged. Jabber was a dead man.
"Ayo, you gonna let us in or what? He's not doin too hot, you're probably gonna wanna be quick about that medical care. Y'all got someone who can do that, right?"
Enjin blinked, and then in one motion he grabbed Jabber and yanked him inside the gate, slamming it closed behind him. Then, within the same second, he raised Umbreakers sharp tip to his throat, pressing it in deep enough to break skin, a thin rivulet of red making its way down Jabbers throat.
"Don't. Move." Enjin seethed. "Give me one reason I shouldn't skewer you right now. What the hell did you do to him!?"
"So rude, I can see where Zan-zan gets his bad attitude from." The raider drawled with a lazy grin. "Who says I did anything to him? I did bring him back here, after all. Y'all should really be thanking me."
Enjin growled, ready to just spear Jabber through the throat and be done with it. To hell with their no-killing rule. To hell with needing to know what Zanka had clearly been injected with, there was probably a zero percent chance Jabber would actually tell them the truth anyway. Better to just take him out in one move and catch Zanka before he hit the ground.
By the look in his eyes, Jabber knew exactly what Enjin was thinking, and only looked more excited because of it, body tensed like a predator about to pounce. The tension was strung taut, waiting to snap, and Enjin was ready to just commit, knowing he needed to make the first move before Jabber did. Jabber's grip on zanka tightened slightly as he grinned like a maniac and got ready to move the instant Enjin did, before suddenly Zanka reached over shakily and grabbed on to one of the hands holding him, still breathing hard.
"Don't." Zanka took a breath, eyes cracking open. "...Please."
Enjin wasn't sure which one of them he was talking to, but it made him stop dead in his tracks regardless. Zanka Nijiku did not beg.
Jabber also stopped, looking down at Zanka with an unreadable look as they seemed to have a quick conversation with just their eyes. Enjin watched.
Eventually, jabber heaved out a big sigh, defeated, and the tension that had been slowly coiling up in his body dissapeared at once.
"Fiiiine. But you owe me big time, y'know that?"
Zanka, despite the pained grimace stuck on his face, actually had a small smile at that, the corners of his lips just barely twitching up. What???
"Yeah yeah, add it to the pile."
People were coming out of the front of the building now, and he could hear gasps as they took in the situation and ran over.
Gris was one of the first over, and Enjin was grateful for it.
"Gris, can you take Zanka?" Umbreaker was still at Jabbers throat, ready to sink in despite Zanka's warning if Jabber made even a single wrong move.
"Y-yeah. Yeah, I can do that." And he leaned over and gently removed Zanka from Jabbers arms, looking down at him with shock. Enjin didnt blame him.
"Get him to Eisha quick, he's poisoned."
Gris nodded, and ran off.
"He's not. Well, I mean probably not too much anyway."
"Shut the fuck up. I'm sure you already know we can't just let you leave, so how are we gonna do this? You gonna come quietly or am I gonna get to slam your pathetic ass into the dirt?"
"Mannn, you can't say shit like that when I'm not allowed to fight, you're gonna get me all excited for nothing."
Enjins eyes narrowed. "What do you mean not allowed to fight?"
"I mean that if we go at it right now one of us is dyin pretty much instantly, just depends on who's faster. Zanka knew that, thats why he said no. Duh."
"...So you're not gonna fight."
"Well not yet."
"Drop the rings then." Rang out Riyo's voice from behind him. She stepped forward, holding- a gun?! Damnit, he thought he told her to get rid of that!
She continued to stare down Jabber, who, after a long and tense moment of consideration, shockingly, started removing the rings adorning his fingers, still looking for all the world like he was in complete control. It was really starting to piss Enjin off.
When his fingers were finally bare he looked over at where Rudo was standing next to Tamsy and the Santa duo. "Yo, Rudo my man! Zanka says you're pretty good with other peoples' treasures. Take good care of these for me, kay?" And tossed them over to him.
"Yeah fat fuckin chance, shithead." Rudo muttered while still moving to catch the rings, and then picking up and carefully dusting off the few that had fallen to the ground. He just couldn't help himself huh.
With Jabber disarmed, Enjin released Umbreakers pressure on his neck just slightly, keeping his eyes on him.
"Tamsy, you wanna help us out here?"
"I would love nothing more."
And with a spin and flick of Tamsy's vital instrument, Jabber was completely restrained.
Riyo walked around behind him, seemingly checking the rope. And then, without warning, she slammed the butt of her pistol into his head hard, knocking him out cold and making him crash face first into the ground. Everyone just stared at her.
Bro Santa spoke up. "Yowch. Doesn't that kinda seem like overkill?"
Riyo didn't move her gaze from Jabber's limp body. "He only handed over nine rings. I'm not taking any chances."
Rudo pulled the rings out of his pocket and counted. "Oh shit, you're right. Asshole!"
"Good catch Riyo. Lets get him into the interregation room and pat him down for anything else before he wakes up. Bro, can you help me carry him?" Bro made a noise of assent and Enjin turned back to Riyo and Rudo. "You guys go check on Zanka, I'll be there soon."
The reminder that Zanka was alive, was there waiting for them finally registered, and they both stumbled over themselves, sprinting to get inside.
Enjin wanted to join them more than anything. But he still had a job to do.
"Alright, let's move."