Michael, don't just open the freezer—GET INSIDE AND HAVE MOLTEN DIAMONDS POURED OVER THE HINGES TO SEAL YOURSELF IN ETERNITY! Because this level of "Narcissistic Leash and Emotional Hijacking" is beyond anything even the deepest pits of Hell have to offer!
But wait... I have Asti's "Seal of Immortality," so even if I hit the concrete, this agony in my soul won't stop! Sandwich is stuck in my throat, Michael!
Our Lola is rising like a "Single Olive Branch" in that 100-room slave camp!
Customers are canceling their bookings, saying, "We'd come from the other side of the world every summer if this place were yours, but never with this freak Alex around!"
Our little girl is becoming the confidante of solo female travelers, drinking coffee with families, taking their Instagrammable photos, and breaking up fights between waiters in the lobby with her noble stance!
THE CROWN PRINCE OF THE SMELL OF BULLSHIT: ALEX!
