Luna.
It's been three weeks since Amani came back— no crashed back into my life. Whoever said that getting over a crush is easy, we need to have a very serious meeting. A meeting that involves a gun or fists.
I have been tossing and turning in my bed for the last 3 hours. I'm supposed to be sleeping by now. My stomach growls. Why would it not? I purged all the food I had at dinner.
I feel like I've gained a whole ten kilograms since he became my body guard. He has been forcing me to eat every single day even when I try to be grumpy at him to avoid eating. But this man has his own ways. I can even stay mad at him. He's just looking out for me.
He actually escalated to following me to the toilet when I'm at work. Claiming, "I'm just doing my job, Nia. Keeping you safe." In that sexy Italian accent that would turn me on if he was not being a pain in my ass.
I swing my feet off the bed and decide to go drink some water from the kitchen. I throw on a very long robe. One of those silky robes with fluff at the hem and at the cuffs. One thing about robes, is that they'll definitely be tied at the waist so no matter how much I don't want it to snatch my waist, it has to. It's frustrating. But I doubt there will be someone in the kitchen this late.
I take my Stanley cup and walk out of my room.
Amani comes crashing into my brain. The way he looks at me like I mean something. Like I'm not just a woman who hates her body. Like I mean the world to him.
I always find him staring at me. His eyes tracking my body with lust sometimes and other times compassion. The eyes he used to look at me with when he was my professor. The way his eyes can't stop looking at my breasts.
And my body, this fucking traitor, responds to his look. My nipples always peak whenever I catch him staring. But that's all on me, I deliberately remove my coat in my office when it's just the two of us. Knowing very well that I don't wear bras and that my breasts are the most sensitive part of my body.
I am right in the middle of my kitchen when his cologne hits me and I look up. I was too engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't look up while I was still at the doorway.
I stop dead in my tracks. My brain screams to turn back and get water from somewhere else. I turn, ready to leave or run.
I am about to walk out when he speaks, "Leaving already? You just got here. It's your kitchen, Nia."
I know it's my kitchen. But he's the problem. Him being here means having to eat something and midnight snacks are not my thing.
I turn to him anyway and find him looking at me, with a bowl in his hands. He scoops a spoonful of yogurt and whatever else he has mixed in there. I spot blueberries, and some nuts.
I plaster a very huge fake smile and walk towards the fridge and open the door. My stomach churns at the sight of all the food.
"You should have some yogurt or some grapes. The grapes are sweet. You should eat them." He says. I want to put him in the freezer. I don't want to eat anything. I just wanted water.
I take a bunch of grapes from the fridge and fight the urge to cry while popping a grape in my mouth. They are sweet like he said. I eat them slowly. Because he's watching.
The cold from the fridge did some magic to my nipples and they make a very unwanted appearance. His eyes are also not helping. They track my body. From my face, to my neck, staying too long on the rose on my chest then lower and stop at my breasts. I have a very strong urge to cover them but my hands are full.
He licks his spoon while staring at my breasts. My brain, that fucking traitor, is quite something. It supplies images of having Amani's pierced tongue around my nipple. The imagination makes me close my legs tightly. But then again looking at him shamelessly staring at my body makes me feel less guilty.
"Can I bite into them?" He asks, staring at my chest, well nipples.
"What?" I ask. Air draining from my lungs.
"The grapes." Disappointment grips my throat.
"Oh. The grapes. Of course." I fumble with words.
Seriously, Nia. What did you expect? That he wanted to bite your nipples? Are you crazy?
I hand the remaining bunch to him when he steps in front of me. He towers over me. It should make me feel small but it makes me feel safe.
Instead of taking the bunch, he takes my hand— which is holding a half bitten grape— and brings it to his mouth and eats the bitten grape. My pulse spikes and he feels it because his eyes look deep into mine. The pulse quickens even more. My breathing becomes shallow.
He is having fun making me flustered. I pull my hand from his and pluck another grape, just to keep my hands busy. But before I can bite it, he grabs my hand lightly and takes it to his mouth and eats it. His lips grazing my fingers.
Heat creeps between my legs and I can feel myself getting wet. And thanks to me not having any panties, I feel the wetness trickling down my thighs.
This man has a lot of control over my body. It's undeniable.
He continues with his game until all the grapes are done.
"The grapes were sweet." He says with a very satisfied grin on his face. Then his face becomes serious. "You look so beautiful."
"Thank you." I say. Eyes dropping to my feet. Not sure if he means it.
"The answer to that should be, 'I know' and the sooner you accept and understand that, the better for you, Nia." His voice is thick with Italian and care that I almost believe him. "Buona notte, Nia." He says and then leaves the kitchen.
I stay in the kitchen for ten more minutes lost in thoughts and then head to my bedroom.
I shed the robe and get under the covers. Amani just turned me on by just holding my hand. I need to research on that. Or maybe I should just file a complaint with Elle.
But that witch will not be helpful. The other day when Darcy called us on a video call, they both suggested I sleep with him and find out whether he can actually fuck well. And that I always wanted to sleep with him since I was twenty-two and this is mother nature giving me a chance and that I shouldn't take it lightly.
Witches.
I try to sleep without touching myself but sleeping naked doesn't help with my resistance. I dip my hand between my legs, finding myself so wet. I trace circles around my clit. It doesn't take long until I come so hard that I feel my heart meeting so fast. But something is missing.
Afterwards, I sleep.