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Do you know those dreams people have, about waking up one day and finding themselves as a hero in another world? About suddenly having superpowers and money and influence and all the women -or men, as one might prefer- that their heart desires?
God knows I do, I loved reading them. Hell, I even wrote them sometimes. It was nice to fantasize, after all.
You know what's not nice? Waking up in an ilithid stasis pod because -moments after you had finally gotten your 'isekai adventure'- you'd been kidnapped by the brain-eating, body-pupetting, egotistical result of C'thulu having vigorous tentacle sex with the concept of megalomania.
I fucking hurt, damnit! I had a fucking headache, I had a fucking worm in my head, I was naked -because it turns out that the brain-rape tentacle aliens don't care about clothes when they're kidnapping tasty mortals- and now I had to deal with all of the colossal bullshit that was Act One of Baldur's Gate 3.
I mean, sure. Act One was the most story-rich, well-developed of the three Acts. Larian had definitely, uh, undercooked the latter two, the third most especially. And sure, some of the best girls were immediately available in Act One, and some neat loot. And then there was…
[Congratulations! For your Origin, you received Three Golden Gacha Tickets! View Results?]
Yeah, and then there was that. The gambling video game that had stuck itself in my head. I'd spent a good portion of my life trying to avoid gacha-based games simply because I had an addictive personality and I loved the thrill of chance, and here I was relying on one to keep me alive. Though at least it couldn't take my money from me, which was nice. Nowhere to go from here but up, right? So let's see what we've got~!
[Incubus/Succubus]
|Elite Trait|
Race Change - You are a dream demon, one that sucks on the vitality of your victim as a Succubus/Incubus. You are more attractive and alluring to your preferred partners. You also possess slightly superhuman stats and increased magical power. You are also able to sense arousal, peek into dreams and subtly influence them as well as shapeshift according to your partner's preferences. The potency of all Lewd abilities and spells are increased.
Well, that was nice. A little bit of a physical boost, the ability to influence the various waifu I would meet ever-so-slightly, and a better body! Plus, you know, depending on what kind of incubus I was, what mythology it was based on, I might be a vampire too! That would be amazing, nothing like having the ability to indulge in one of your biggest and oldest fetishes getting thrown into your lap to improve your opinion on being isekaied, right?
[Heaventaker]
|Rare Trait|
"You wake up, dreaming of a harem of... angel girls? That doesn't sound right-" Holy aligned/Angelic beings find themselves more attracted to you and it is easier to earn their affection.
…fuck me, but that would make seducing Shadowheart, Aylin, Isobel, and Minthara a hell of a lot easier. It wouldn't help with Lae'zel, but then again I had every intention of 'making bruises' with her on occasion before setting her up with Orpheus, so what did that matter to me? Shit, between Heaventaker and being an incubus, I could probably have most of the girls sharing my tent by the time we were halfway through this Act! Shit, depending on how it went with Shadowheart here on the nautiloid, it might be even faster than that on her part!
Of course, because there must be balance in all things, my third ticket didn't have anything to do with sex whatsoever, and it wasn't a direct combat ability either. Which kind of sucked, but the ability to fly was highly useful from a purely strategic perspective, and it would allow me unmatched mobility. Shit, depending on how fast I could fly, I'd be able to change all sorts of 'canon events' by sheer movement speed. Waukeen's Rest, for one, and the two brothers of…damn, what was her name again? The poor dumb girl that was going to sell her baby to a hag to get her husband back.
Mayrina! That was it!
I'd be able to save her dumbass brothers. Just pick 'em up by the scruff of their neck, drop them off in the Druid's Grove, have the tiefling's keep them out of trouble while I dealt with Ethel.
A loud explosion, the roar of angry dragons, and the nautiloid shifting under my feet like a particularly unpleasant -and hard- bouncy castle turned my sore brain and all of the attention it could muster back in the proper direction: finding the girls and getting the fuck off of this carnival ride, preferably before a Bad Thing happened. Like a failed dice roll resulting in my untimely demise or something.
We didn't have Withers yet, after all.
"Well, at least I've got a nice pair of tits and a big dick. And I'm an elf. Sexy futa elf. Heh heh heh." I grinned, shrugging and enjoying the way my aforementioned tits bounced and swayed from the movement, and I didn't even try to resist the temptation to plant my longer-fingered, pale—grey fingers on those full orbs, squeezing and tugging and bouncing them with glee. Though I found myself having to stop pretty damn quickly. Perhaps unsurprisingly, being a succubus -or was I an incubus? I had a dick…but I also had tits and a pussy, and that made it two-to-one, didn't it?- my body was sensitive as hell. Hope I figure out how to get that under control, or I'd have a hell of a time wearing armor and fighting. Not to mention it might turn me into a quick-shot, and that would just be embaressing.
Not that any of that was important right now. I'd gotten sidetracked again. Goals. Focus. Maintain.
"Alright…Sylvanas." I grunted, figuring that I might as well double down on the 'sexy pale-skinned elf' bit after having decided I was more woman than man. Clapping my hands and rolling my shoulders as I looked around, I tried to remember where the various bits of loot were hidden. If I remembered correctly, there should be a couple of chests around here somewhere…
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As it turned out, the nautiloid was quite a bit bigger than it had been in-game. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, but gratifyingly as well, because there was quite a bit more loot on offer than there would otherwise have been. Granted, moving that loot while being entirely devoid of clothes was a little bit complicated, but I had been able to fashion something of a make-shift satchel using a large scrap of robe from one of the dead mind flayers that was littering the ship. And I had a weapon now, even if it was a shitty hatchet that was probably more 'bludgeoning' than 'slashing' as far as it's ability to deal damage went. God, I hoped I found something better before I actually had to fight something, because somehow I doubted that any of the imps would go down particularly easily to something like that.
Unless I could hit them hard enough in the head. They had brains, after all, and having your skull turned into floor-spaghetti tended to put a stop to most things that had those. I just hoped I found some actually useable armor sooner rather than later, because as much as I'd enjoy running around naked all day with Lae'zel and Shadowheart, it wasn't really conducive to avoiding death or maiming. God only knew how good a healer Shadowheart was at this point, after all. She might have been the 'healer' for her strike squad, but they were also all dead and she was currently Trickery Domain, not Life. So how much I could rely on her to…
A wet squelch under my bare foot had a shudder spiking up and down my spine, full-body and violent and having nothing at all to do with the succubus sensitivity thing and everything to do with the fact that I'd just stepped in what was left of an intellect devourer and ew, ew, ew, gross, oh God that was between my fucking toes!
"Nope. Nope nope nope." I scraped my foot against the nearest dry patch of floor, grimacing hard enough that my new, pointed ears -longer than I remembered most D&D elf ears being, not that I was complaining- pinned back against my skull. Turns out all my favorite WOW fanfics that described elves as cats were dead on. Learn something new every day, I supposed. Once my foot was cleaner -clean was going to be an impossibility until I found some damn water to wash off in, but I'd take what I could get for the time being- I started moving again. Speed was my friend here, at least until I started running into baddies.
Oop, there was the dead goblin on the table. Time to deal with Us, the Best Brain Puppy, looks like. Just had to make my way over to the lift, fiddle with the tentacle console thing -which felt fucking weird, by the way- and ride it to the next floor, revealing poor Mynarth strapped into his chair with the top of his skull removed. Well, Us, actually. Mynarth was long gone at this point, and Us was wiggling around in an attempt to get free, and I was swallowing back bile at the very disturbing image that resulted…before swallowing back quite a bit more as I realized I was going to have to try and get the little guy out, which would mean touching a brain with my bare hands.
"Well, girl, you're going to be dealing with much, much worse before all of this is over. Just think about how weirdly cute he is and how spectacularly useful he'll by the end."
I steeled myself, reaching into the exposed cranial cavity with both hands, fingers curling around the slick, warm mass of Us's body. The texture was exactly as horrifying as I'd imagined, like handling a raw organ, which, to be fair, that was exactly what I was doing. Warm, pulsing, faintly ridged, and coated in a thin film of something that I absolutely and unequivocally refused to think too hard about.
"Come on, little buddy. Let's get you out of there before—"
Us squirmed, and I nearly dropped the brain right back into Mynarth's skull. A psychic pulse —tiny, desperate, grateful— brushed against my consciousness like a kitten headbutting her ankle, and despite the absolute revolting nature of what I was holding, she couldn't help the small, crooked smile that tugged at my lips. God, a fucking brain-eating brain-monster shouldn't be nearly this adorable.
"Friend! Free! Us is friend, free Us!" it practically chirped, continuing to squirm, and I huffed in oddly fond exasperation.
"It would be a lot easier to free you if you would stop moving, you know! Now hold still so I can get you out safely!" I chastised it -him?- with a shake of my head.
Us went still immediately, or at least went as still as a disembodied brain could manage, which still involved a faint, rhythmic pulsing that I was probably going to have nightmares about for no short amount of time. God, I always said that a headache or a migraine made it feel like my brain was throbbing, but now that I was feeling an actual brain actually throbbing, I don't think I'd ever use that phrase again. Grimacing faintly, I braced one foot against the base of the chair, adjusted my grip on the slippery little bastard, and pulled.
There was a sound. A wet, sucking, popping sound that I was one-hundred-percent going to repress into the deepest and darkest recesses of my subconscious, and then Us came free in my hands with enough sudden momentum that I stumbled backward, bare feet slipping on the organic floor of the nautiloid. My tail, which apparently I had now, even if it hadn't been present ten seconds before, waved wildly behind me in an attempt to keep me on my feet. An attempt, it must be said, which succeeded almost immediately, and I promptly dropped Us to the floor, where he sprouted his tentacles and legs and sat down 'looking up' at me.
"Thank! Friend help Us! Us remember, Us help friend! We go to the helm, to the helm we must go!" The psychic voice was eager, puppyish, and entirely too endearing for something that looked like it had been scooped out of someone's head. Which, of course, it had been. Because that was my life now. Scooping brains out of skulls and making friends with them. God, I know I kept repeating myself here, mentally speaking, but seriously what the fuck.
Wiping my hands on my thighs —a decision that I regretted immediately, because now my thighs were coated in brain-slime instead of just my hands, and I had nowhere else to wipe anything— I let out a long, slow breath through my nose. Feeling my tail flick back and forth like an aggravated cat, ears still pinned back a bit, I huffed out a soft sigh. Now that I'd gotten him out, I had to save him, and there was only one sure-fire way to do that.
"Alright, little buddy, I need you to stay here, okay? I'm going to go to the helm, but I want you to wait here and make sure nothing attacks me from behind, alright?" I told him, remembering all to well that Us would attack that party on the bridge if the party ended up fighting the Mind Flayer there, and it would be a shame to kill him right after I went to all the effort of saving him.
Us pulsed once, twice, and then settled back on his little tentacle-legs with what I could only describe as a dutiful wiggle. "Us wait! Us guard! Friend go, Us watch behind!"
"Good boy." I muttered, like I was talking to an obedient golden retriever instead of a psychic brain-thing. Shaking my head, I scooped up my makeshift satchel and my shitty hatchet and turned back toward the elevator, riding it back to the main level as the ship bounced and shuddered and shook beneath and around me. On the plus side, any second now I'd be meeting Lae'zel, and wouldn't that be lovely? Especially if she was as naked as I was. She might not be my favorite girl, I might have every intention of setting her up with Orpheus, but she wasn't exactly ugly, and I still planned on fucking her at least a few times.
A dragon soared past, dodging blasts of purple energy like the anti-aircraft fire they essentially were, and…yep, there was the my ears pricking up to the rustle of movement behind and above me. I ducked into a deep squat, grimacing as I practically bounced my cunt and my balls on the gory floor plating, as Lae'zel did a remarkable -Olympics worthy, really- twisting flip over my head to menace me with her long sword.
"Ah. Hello there." I managed to grunt through the discomfort -though I had to admit, it seemed that I was very flexible- as I looked up at the githyanki warrior from my crouched position, which I was rapidly becoming aware presented a rather undignified picture. Naked, covered in brain-slime, squatting on the floor of a half-sunk illithid spelljammer with my tail spiked up behind me like a startled cat. Not exactly the first impression that I had been hoping for.
Though at least the view that I had was nice, because Lae'zel was indeed naked. And she was, likewise, not ugly. The githyanki's scarred yellow-green skin was pulled taut over lean, corded muscle, her completely bare sex and small-ish tits fully on display and glistening faintly with sweat from the fires raging amidst the ship and her exertions both. Which really only added to my appreciation, if I was going to be honest.
Lae'zel's golden-yellow eyes narrowed, flicking over me with the kind of clinical assessment that was unfortunately rather less 'checking me out' and rather more 'determining the fastest way to gut me.' Which sucked, as did the fact that the longsword she was carrying didn't waver, its tip hovering about six inches from the bridge of my nose, close enough that I could see the faint illithid script etched into the blade's fuller. Stolen, probably, from a thrall. Good for her. Wish I'd found something that useful.
"Chk. Another tadpoled thrall. On your feet, creature. You reek of illithid blood and... something else." Lae'zel's lip curled, nostrils flaring as though she'd caught a scent she didn't quite recognize. Which tracked. Succubi probably smelled different from your standard kidnapped elf, and Lae'zel wasn't an idiot. Of course, the instant that I was on my feet -having risen slowly and carefully, lest she decided to 'improve' my ability to breathe by making a large hole somewhere in my face or neck- our tadpoles decided to notice each other, leaving both of us stumbling and clutching our very unhappy heads.
Unhappy being an understatement.
The pain was blinding, white-hot, like someone had driven a railroad spike through my left eye socket and was twisting it for good measure. I staggered sideways, one hand cradling my head while the other clutched at the nearest fleshy wall protrusion for balance. And just to make life so much more enjoyable, through that pain I caught fragments of Lae'zel's surface thoughts. Sharp and jagged like broken glass, was the rage. The disgust. And, of course, fear that was deep and pervasive but also buried so deep under rigid discipline that it was barely a whisper. And beneath all of it, a singular, driving imperative: survive, find a crèche, get the tadpole removed. Be purified.
Then the connection snapped, and boy didn't that feel almost as bad as it being created?
"Nngh! So, it seems you have been infested as I have…but it seems you are an ally of convenience as well." Lae'zel hissed in displeasure, shaking her own head had and sharp enough that her neck cracked. "Fine then. You will aid me in escaping this place, and in return I will not yet spare you the danger of becoming ghaik. Now come, there are imps ahead!"
With that, entirely uninterested in any response I might give by all appearances, she spun on her heel and stalked away. Which wasn't the worse view in the world, even if no one would ever dream of accusing Lae'zel's ass of being 'plush'. Toned and fit, like the rest of her, but certainly not large or soft. Mmh. Very nice all the same though. Still, this wasn't the time for being horny, this was the time for killing tiny winged devils. Hopefully one of the little bastards would have a better weapon than the one that I already had.
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As they turned out, better weapons is exactly what they had. Which is why, between them and the thralls that they'd finished killing right before Lae'zel and I arrived, I now carried a pair of shortswords, a crossbow -with plenty of bolts, of course- and a proper bag to hold my more monetarily-inclined loot in. Which probably looked pretty weird, given I was still entirely naked except for my newly-acquired belt and backpack, but I wasn't overly worried about my looks at the moment. No, what was a matter of interest to me was two-fold. First, we were about to reach Shadowheart. And secondly, I currently had the most spectacular view of Lae'zel's pussy as we climbed the flesh-ladders up to the next 'deck' of the nautiloid.
Which I would never dream of complaining about, mind. The githyanki was all lean lines and functional muscle, and from this angle —climbing directly beneath her— I had an unobstructed view of everything between those powerful thighs. The outer lips were neat, tucked close, framed by the taut cords of her inner thighs and the subtle flex of her glutes as she hauled herself upward with swift efficiency. A fighter's body through and through, not an ounce of softness even in her most sensual of areas, and yet there was something undeniably appealing about the sheer competence of it all.
Focus, you horny disaster.
Right. Shadowheart. Pod. Rescue the goth cleric, don't die, don't get distracted by green alien warrior pussy. Simple enough objectives, even for someone whose brain currently had a parasitic alien worm camping out in it and causing no end of trouble…
"I can sense your lust, elf. Are you enjoying your view of my cunt?" Lae'zel asked suddenly from above me, and I briefly considered demurring, or even prevaricating, before deciding that I didn't particularly feel the need to lie, and I rather doubted Lae'zel of all people would be offended regardless. She'd never been particularly ashamed of her body or sex in the game, after all.
"Absolutely, every inch of it." I confessed, or rather confirmed, without further hesitation as I shot an unrepentant grin up at Lae'zel, not that she could see it as she kept climbing. Maybe I wasn't done with the horny for the moment after all. "You've got a fantastic looking pussy, gith. It would be a shame not to appreciate a free show when I'm given the chance, wouldn't you agree? Better still when it's attached to such a fine warrior. Not many things are as attractive as a woman who can fight, especially if they know how to fuck as well."
Lae'zel's climbing rhythm didn't falter, not even slightly. The muscles in her calves and thighs kept their steady flex-release-flex as she hauled herself upward, but I caught the faintest hitch in her breathing that, hopefully, had nothing to do with physical exertion. A half-second pause, barely perceptible, followed before the githyanki let out a sound that was somewhere between a scoff and something that might, under very generous interpretation, have been a laugh.
"Chk. At least you do not simper and blush and avert your gaze like the soft-bellied istik I have come to expect from this plane." Lae'zel reached the top of the fleshy ladder and pulled herself over the lip with a fluid motion that, to my eyes, seemed just a little bit more extra than it needed to be. "Your candor is amusing, if nothing else. Hmph. Next time we climb such a thing, you will lead, and we shall see if you provide as pleasant a view for me as I did for you."
"It's a deal." I agreed with a shrug as the 'door' in front of us twitched open to reveal Shadowheart's pod and the paralyzed cultists in their racks. The very quickly dead cultists, as Lae'zel promptly stalked up to each of them and cut their throats without an ounce of hesitation or remorse. Sighing, I planted my hands on my hips and watched her rifle through their pockets. "You know, we could have taken their clothes, at least. But now they're soaked in blood."
"I would rather continue to have your hungry eyes on me than willingly wear the clothes of those that worship ghaik." she snorted in response, slipping several gold pieces into her own belt's pouches. "There are few things more wretched, and I'll not defile myself in such a way."
"Fair enough, I suppose." I snorted, shaking my head as I made my way over to Shadowheart's pod. The very naked Shadowheart, I could see, even if the damn pod's window distorted her appearance enough that I couldn't really enjoy the view.
"Stop looking at me and figure out how to get me out! Preferably before this bloody thing crashes and we all die!" she snapped from inside, voice echoing oddly through the…was it glass? It looked like glass, so we'd just go with that for a label, and I gave her a mock salute.
"Not to worry, pretty thing, I'll have you out in a minute." I reassured her, making a point of looking over the console beside her pod. "Looks like this thing is missing a piece. I'll take a look around, see if I can find it."
"We have no time to waste on stragglers, elf! If she cannot free herself as we did, leave her fate in the hands of your gods and move on!" Lae'zel growled from somewhere behind me, and I gave her a disappointed look.
"Do you think it's going to be easy to take control of this ship with your dragon-riders, the forces of the Hells, and the mind-flayers all fighting aboard? We need all the help we can get, and besides that, I'm not inclined to leave someone helplessly suffering as a victim of the mind-flayers if I can do something about it. Now hush and help me find the missing key."
"The thrall that had it, they went into the next room over! That way!" Shadowheart chimed in, pointing as best she could in the direction of the room that I already knew held the key, and I gave her a thumb's up and a grin before turning and sauntering in that direction. Retrieving the key took all of ten seconds, of course, and a quick glance further into the room regrettably confirmed that the 'Tutorial Chest' was not present, which was a hell of a disappointment. Even if it didn't have all of the modded gear my game had had in it, there probably would have been something nice and useful in there.
Alas.
I suppose that just meant Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and I would have to continue being naked for the time being.
More's the pity.
"Oh, gods, I thought I was going to die in there!" Shadowheart breathed as she rested on all fours on the deck, briefly bowing down to press her forehead to the plating -I think she would have kissed it, if it wasn't for exactly what and where it was-, and I didn't even try to resist the urge to admire the smooth curve of her back, and the even smoother, very plush swell of her ass. Mmh. Utterly spectacular, that ass, and I ignored the scoff from Lae'zel as she noticed me admiring the other woman. Staggering to her feet and turning towards me, 'Heart offered a hand and a small smile. "Shadowheart, thank you for the save, and thanks for ignoring the gith. I didn't fancy the idea of dying in that damn coffin, or worse."
"Sylvanas Windrunner, and like I said, I couldn't live with myself if I left you in there. Anymore than I could have abandoned Lae'zel here if I'd found her in the same circumstance." I introduced myself, and obliquely my companion, in return as I took her hand and shook it. A moment later, said gith was barging herself into the conversation -such as it was- with a scoff and a sneer for 'Heart.
"We have wasted enough time rescuing the meek and helpless! We must make our way to the helm and take control of this ship, or we will all die. Or, worse still, become a plaything for whatever devil controls this region." she growled, earning herself a scoff and a contemptuous look in return, 'Heart opening her mouth to fire back when the tadpoles said hello to one another yet again. Which sucked, but it wasn't as bad as before and was over rather quickly. It also, fortunately, put a stop to the argument before it could really kick off.
Of course, the other thing that put a stop to the budding argument was both of it's members noticing my dick stirring slightly -only slightly, I wasn't completely depraved, and only someone completely depraved would get full erect in a rapidly-deteriorating life-or-death situation such as this- at the sight of the two of them standing side by side, naked as the days they were born, but significantly more developed. Shadowheart made an especially pleasant sight, with her larger breasts, plusher body, and carefully trimmed landing strip, not to mention her rather more natural -to my eyes, which was ironic, given my own tone- complexion compared to Lae'zel's.
"Enjoying yourselves, are we?" Lae'zel's voice was flat, but her golden eyes had dropped pointedly, and Shadowheart followed the gith's gaze before her cheeks flushed a rather fetching shade of pink that I had immediately decided I wanted to see more of, as often as possible. Preferably with her eyes rolled back and her tongue hanging out. "You'll need to be rather more impressive than you have been if you want to climb between my thighs, elf."
"Is that—are you seriously—we are on a crashing ship, Windrunner! With tadpoles in our heads!" Shadowheart sputtered, and I had the good grace to look at least moderately sheepish, shrugging lightly and scratching my cheek lightly.
"In fairness, it's not remotely my fault that the two of you look so damn good, or that we're all naked. The pair of you are exquisite, enticing, enthralling! Never mind the fact that there is nothing quite so attractive as a capable, talented woman!"
'Heart's mouth opened, closed, and opened again, arms moving as if to cover herself but not quite finishing the motion, as her face twitched and shifted from an obvious attempt to try and figure out how, exactly, she wanted to respond to the obviously genuine compliment. And how to react to the fact that the legitimacy of the comment was confirmed by the semi-aroused state of my not-insignificant shaft.
I have to say, I was really rather enjoying the way that her blush was spreading all the way down her neck to dust across the tops of those magnificent tits.
"I…you…!" She finally started, before collecting herself with visible focus, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin into a more regal, mature posture. Which did nothing to diminish her blush, and everything to make her chest look even better. "You are incorrigible, Windrunner, and we're going to have words about this later. Assuming we survive this debacle."
"I promise I'll hold you to that." I purred, rather more suggestively than Shadowheart had probably expected, given I imagine her words were meant to sound like a threat or some sort of dark promise. "Now, I promise to behave, if only for the moment, but perhaps the two of you ought to take the lead so I don't distract you?"
"The only reason that you wish to take the rear is so that you can stare at ours." Lae'zel grunted, sounding very much as though she would roll her eyes if she was a less rigid person, Shadowheart nodding silently in agreement, and I nodded as well.
"You're right, it's true." I confirmed, just as shamelessly as before, and gestured demonstratively to my crossbow. "Besides, I'm nothing more than a helpless markswoman. I need you strong fighting types to protect me from the nasty beasties while I shoot at them."
"Something tells me that 'helpless' isn't a word that should be used to describe you. Perverted, perhaps, and perpetually hungry for women, but not helpless." Shadowheart muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned and start towards the hatch that would lead us to the bridge, Lae'zel half a step behind her. I didn't even try to resist the urge to wolf-whistle, even as I checked my weapon and held it ready to fire.
Time to see if I was going to kill some mindflayers and a cambion, or if I just had to run for the console and hope for the best.
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For your consideration, the poll options now posted for deciding the next chapter on Patreon:
1. Try to Fight Commander Zhalk and the Mind Flayer
2. Try to Steal Commander Zhalk's Everburn Blade
3. Bypass the Fight and Run for the Console.