"Hey, Han So Jun, stop right there."
"What do you want now?"
"So Rung, told us that you went to study abroad. Do you really think we would buy that?"
*punch* *punch*
He is going to be in a lot of trouble. I guess he is the second lead.
"Leave him, the police are coming!"
Uhhh, the police are there to protect him. He actually was lucky. Okay, so this is how he meets our heroine. I watched it with so much enjoyment that I nearly forgot the time.
"It's already 3:15. Maybe I shall start preparing something."
Dylan told me that he would be cooking food and that he loves trying new things, but I barely see him in the house in the afternoon. He spends most of his time in the library or eating outside. It has already been four days since I started living here. It now feels like my own home. I am just managing the whole house according to our contract—or, I don't know if I can really call it a contract.
"Let's look in the kitchen."
I took a pot and opened it. The rajma present in it are inflated with water. They are ready to be made. I shall start making the curry. In the meantime, I shall also prepare rice to eat with them. I will watch the series again after making the food. This drama is really good, I will ask Amy to recommend more of them to me. I guess even K-dramas are fun to watch—more precisely, anything is worth watching if it has a good story. No matter how old it is or how badly it was shot, anything is worth watching if it has a good plot.
It's already been 30 minutes since the rajma started cooking. I shall turn off the knob.
"Hmmm, it is smelling really great, and the rice is also prepared."
Let's take it out and eat. I had already made extra for Dylan, even though he doesn't come home in the afternoon and I have to eat the rest of it at night. But still, it worries me why he is spending most of his time out and not at home. I wanted to ask him, but every day he comes home late and drunk. And the next morning, he just runs away before 10:00.
Maybe it's all because he misses Nathan. I understand this missing the person you love the most is a very hard feeling. I want to help him, but nothing comes to my mind regarding what I can do for him. I wish I knew more about his past so I could comfort him.
I took my food into the living room and sat on the floor. I adjusted the TV panel a bit before starting the show. True Beauty is a really good one; I wish he were here with me so we could both talk about it. It's been quite some time since I have eaten my food alone.
For the past few months, when we hung out, it became a habit for me to always spend the afternoon with Dylan. Roaming around with him always takes my tension away, and I feel lighthearted being around him, but now that I am in his house, I barely see him.
I watched the drama with a slight fascination. After eating the food, I took all the utensils to the sink and started washing them immediately. Although he wrote this on that stupid board, he never complained to me about it. No matter if I leave dishes at night, he doesn't say anything. I tried it as a joke to ragebait him, but it didn't work out. After that, I started doing everything on time again. I don't know what he is up to, but please god, let him be fine with everything happening to him.
After cleaning the kitchen, I thought of roaming around a little. I walked up to a grey gate and wondered.
"What could be behind it?"
Dylan told me not to go in there because there is something very precious to him inside. I guess I will keep his words and will not try to disturb anything around here.
I walked into his room and opened a drawer beside his bed. There was all the common stuff: earphones, a pen, VapoRub, and a watch. I didn't think that he would still use earphones even after having AirPods. I guess he still likes old-school things.
Above all of that, my eyes struck a key which was hidden under the drawer paper. I took it out and looked at it while holding it up.
"I wonder what it could possibly open?"
My mind clicked in a second, I figured out what I could do to make him happy.
"One more shot, Walter."
I took one drink after the other while listening to music. I wondered what it could be that I am really missing right now. It suddenly bolted through my mind. That might be the only thing.
"WALTER."
"What happened? Why are you screaming like that?"
"Walter, I want a chili chicken with a twisted lemon on it."
"My friend, it's your third time this week eating in the pub. I wonder what happened. I know you are not the kind of person to waste money eating outside every other day."
"I can handle that. And maybe you can say eating outside a few times is still good."
I took another shot and drank it. It is really refreshing.
"Seriously, you need to stop drinking. You are drinking way more than your usual."
"You know my limit, and you are still saying that."
"I know it is hard for you to get drunk even after five bottles, but what I am saying is that alcohol is not good for your health. With this much drinking, it will ruin your liver in no time."
He spoke to me in a disappointed and angry tone. He is right, I shouldn't be drinking this much. But right now, my mind is just diverted toward one thing.
"What can I possibly do about it?"
*Beep* *Beep*
I was thinking about everything but forgot about this one. My phone rang with an alarm's notification. I opened it up and saw tonight's schedule.
"I guess I shall be working pretty hard again tonight."
I opened up Google to check the weather conditions, it was bright and sunny in New York. The Ryder Cup at the Bethpage Black course is on time. There are no delays, no weather abnormalities, nothing that can delay it.
I checked the time on my phone, it is already 11:15 p.m. I guess I shall be moving now. If I delay much more than this, I might make her worry. For the past four days, life has been nothing but a cat-and-mouse game for me. Waking up every day before Samayra, doing my stuff firsthand, making breakfast for myself in a hurry, and then going out. When I am moving out, she is always waking up. I never look directly at her and I run from the house like my life depends on it.
When I come back home, I always pretend to be drunk, spray alcohol on myself, and go to my room to avoid having any questions with her. It is not like I am trying to avoid her because I think of her as a nuisance. I just don't like to see another's presence in my personal space. I don't like when people walk around in my house, touch my things, or distort and displace them into a place I don't want them to be. That is also the reason why I didn't hire a maid or anyone to clean the house. I don't even like it whenever an electrician or a plumber gets into my house, so I learned everything so that I don't need anyone to do it. Learning everything even comes in handy, you don't need to pay someone for the work, and anyways, I love to do things in my own way. Arranging them how I like them is something very important to me.
But that's not the case right now; I am not avoiding her because of this. It is actually different for Samayra and Nathan—they are people whose presence never bothered me. Many times it happened that I came back home and watched her from one end of the window. I saw her cleaning the house. She always looks everywhere, even in the smallest corners for dust, which even I miss sometimes. She always looks out for my personal belongings and never lets them go from one place to another. She is the sort of person I can always rely on when it comes to keeping things in a clean and steady manner.
But I don't want her to feel pressurized or feel like she is in debt to me because I let her live in my home. She is still not open to me about everything, and I don't want her to be burdened because of what she has gone through. Not to remind myself, she might be gone from here after some days; I shouldn't make it a habit to always have her around me. That reminded me.
"Walter."
Walter came to me in a steady, running manner, holding a plate in one hand. He stopped in front of me and took a deep breath for a moment.
"What is it?"
"Your wish came true."
"What wish?"
"To let me not drink. I need to go now; the work is on me tonight."
"If Mary had seen you like this, I wonder what she would do?"
I turned back and walked up to him.
"Why did you say that?"
He looked at me with a dull face, folding his hands before talking to me. He had no guilt about saying that whatsoever. I was actually angry on the inside, but I suppressed myself from saying anything. I again asked for the answer to my question.
"Why did you say that?"
"You know why. It was good for your own self."
"That story has ended. I told you we are not together."
"That is the only reason you are like this. Just look at yourself and what you are slowly becoming."
"You don't know anything, and you shouldn't bother invading my personal life."
I turned around and walked away from him. I don't want to create a fuss here; whatever is gone is gone.
[Walter looked at Dylan in anger, he clenched his fist and walked towards him.]
"Then why don't you tell me the truth? What happened between you two? Where is she now?"
"I don't know anything, and I don't want to talk about it."
"Ever since you both broke up, I saw that you changed. I don't know what it is, but you always seem different to me. At first, I thought it was good for you that you both are now separated, but now I don't know what to say about it."
I moved from his sight as he watched me in so much anger. One more person who has known me for a long time is now distanced from me.
I walked up to my car and sat in it. I was thinking about everything that happened to me, and suddenly my head started hurting. It hurt so badly that even my left eye was affected by it. The agony growing inside me is just draining me from the inside. I talked to myself.
"I wish all of this could be erased from my life."
On the way back home, I drove slowly on the highway, reminding myself again and again that taking any decision in anger is what will drown me into the deepest depths. I shouldn't think about it. I tried to calm myself before arriving home. I can't go in front of Samayra this way.
"Where is it? Where is it?"
I checked everywhere, but I couldn't find a trace of it. Finally, I saw it below the back seat of my car. I leaned over to take it.
"Finally, you are here."
The pills to cure my anxiety. I took one pill out and looked at it closely. This one thing has been with me since that day. I was about to take it, but then I remembered something. Nathan's voice came into my ears as I remembered a moment with him.
"No matter what happens, you will not take this."
"But—But."
"Promise me."
"Okay, I promise you."
As those words fell into my ears, I instantly closed the box and threw it onto the back seat. I can't really go back on the worst path that I had once walked. I smiled and got out of the car.
Seeing that the door was already open made me a bit worried. Did she forget to lock the door? But she is not like that. Every day I come back pretending to be drunk, she opens up the door for me and asks:
"Why are you so late? Is everything all right?"
I just ignore her, look away, and go up to my room. Then why is the door open today? She might still be awake and doing something. That is the only possible answer I can come up with. I decided not to think about it much and entered inside.
All the hall lights are off; not only the hall, but I can see that the kitchen and living room's lights are also off. I wondered, did she really forget about the lock? I guess it might happen to her. I locked the gate and moved towards the living room. She is sleeping there, having her full body covered in a blanket, not moving a bit. I never really thought she was this much of a silent sleeper. I decided not to wake her up and walked towards my room. I guess one mistake is okay for everyone.
As I entered my room, I saw all the lights were off, but there was something weird. There is no source of light right now, but still, why is it glowing? I looked at my table, there is a cake with two candles on it. As my eyes saw them, I suddenly got a vision. I slowly walked towards it as my memory flashed before me. I looked at it, and my anxiety started rising. I can hear my heartbeat very clearly, it was a feeling of fear that I had long forgotten.
Suddenly, all the lights in the room turned on. I turned around and saw Samayra was hiding in a corner. She came out of there and said,
"Did you like it?"
I didn't say a word and just looked at her.
"Come on, tell me, did you like it or not? I made it with so much hard work."
I asked her,
"What is all of this?"
"Well, I saw you were not talking to me and were not even showing me your face. I thought you were sad because your boyfriend is not with you anymore. So, I decided to cheer you up. Eat it and tell me how it is."
"...."
I didn't move a bit and just looked at the cake. As I tried to move, a blurred vision came into my mind and I stopped. Samayra smiled and walked towards me. She picked up the cake and pointed it towards me.
"I know you are very surprised, Dylan, but I want you to feel relaxed."
As she spoke more and more to me, my mind suddenly blurred and her face started erasing from my vision. I saw the body of someone whom I had forgotten, and in a grayscale memory, I could see someone holding a cake towards me. As Samayra spoke, that blurred girl in my mind also said something.
"You You're are a a nice nice person, person, Dylan. Dylan, Here, and I always eat want you it in my life."
Both of their words jumbled in my mind. My anxiety rose to such an extent that I couldn't even listen to anything. My body became numb. I waved my hands in a random direction and suddenly knocked the cake from her hands. I screamed in an angry manner.
"What do you think of yourself?"
"Dylan, what happened?"
"You think you can do anything that comes to your mind! I never asked you to do anything for me."
"I am sorry, but I just made this to make you happy."
"I never asked you to do this! You don't have any right over me, and you have nothing to say to me. I am not yours Mary. I am not yours!"
"DYLAN!"
After hearing my name, I came back to my senses. I looked at her face, she was genuinely scared to her core. I stepped two steps back and ran away from the room without any explanation.
"Why is everything like this? Why doesn't this night end?"
I came down from my room. As I was thinking about everything, my eyes saw one pill in my pocket. Yes, there is no other way.
It has already been six hours since all of that happened. Dylan has locked himself in the room with the grey gate. He is not ready to open it, and he is not even responding to any of my words. I wonder if he is sleeping right now, or if it is something else. I can't think straight after that. This was my first time seeing Dylan like this. This much aggression, abuse—the way he acted, it was all messed up. No, moreover, it felt like he was in pain, it was like he was trying to restrict himself. More than aggression, it was like he was terrified after seeing something. Was it because of the cake? Or was it because of me?
And who is this Mary that he called out to?
I had cleaned his room and thrown away the cake from where I was able to take it out. The cream had even jumped up to the ceiling, it is so hard to get up there even after standing on his bed. It was easy to take it off from the floor, but on the walls, it had already left a stain mark. No matter how much I try to rub it, it won't come off. Now I wonder, what kind of cream did I use to decorate this cake? Do all creams act like this on a wall?
I sat in a corner and thought for a moment: what had happened in his life? When we used to hang out together, he never brought this name up. Even though he did speak about Nathan too many times, he never said this name. Who is she? Is she his mother, his sister, or his friend? And what had they done to him? I am feeling sorry for him. Well, whatever it is, I decided I will not confront Dylan about all of this, no matter what happens.
Two days have passed. Dylan hasn't talked to me in the past two days. Not only that, but he is also not ready to see my face. When I woke up the next day, he had already gone from the house, leaving a note which read: 'I am not coming tonight. Please take care of everything.' I thought of it as a joke and let it slide, but it was true; he didn't come home last night. Even today, he came back home and left before I woke up. He is trying to avoid me at all costs. I don't know what to do in this situation. It was Dylan who gave me advice every time I couldn't figure things out on my own. But this time, he is the one whom I have to make everything up to. I wish this nightmare of mine would end before it reaches its climax.
I looked around the house while wearing a goofy hood and black glasses. I decided to enter my house after confirming everything. There was no need for me to do this. What is all of this? Am I in an assassin's movie, or is it a game? Whatever it is, at least it is better than confronting Sam—or so I am thinking. I am just avoiding her because I don't have the courage to look her in the eyes. I know being a coward and being scared all the time is not what you should do. That is not the way to handle things. Running away from your problems will only work to your harm, confronting what is wrong and doing the right thing that has to be done is something a person should always do in order to maintain what is right.
But looking at the situation, I don't have the courage to say anything to her. These philosophical words feel good when you say them, but in real life, it never works out like that. I don't know how much time it will take for me to let everything out properly, or if I will ever overcome that past of mine.
I walked through the door and saw Samayra in the same clothes in which she came to my house. I didn't look into her eyes and just tried to avoid her by passing by. I was walking until her words poured down into my ears.
"I am going, Dylan."
I turned around and saw her. Facing towards the floor with a bitter expression, she spoke while trying to hold back her tears.
"I shouldn't have done all of that. It was all my fault. I don't know if you will take my apology or not, but I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I have always been like this, I always make everyone cry. I guess Julia was right. I am not a good girlfriend, and I am not a good friend either."
She said all of that as her tears flowed down onto the floor.
"I will not show you my face ever again. But please, don't be angry with me."
As she walked away, I saw her desperation. If I don't do anything now, then this misunderstanding won't be cleared up for the rest of my life. I grabbed her hand and stopped her. Looking into her eyes, I said,
"I am sorry for all of this."
After a while had passed, we both were sitting together. I initiated the talk.
"You shouldn't have said all of that."
"I know my words hurt you back then, but—"
"I am not talking about back then."
She looked at me in a confused manner.
"You shouldn't have said you are not a good friend. Because I know you are the greatest friend I have in my life."
She smiled looking at me.
"Thank you, Dylan. That has actually comforted me."
Her smiling is something I want. I don't want her to go away in a bitter manner from this house, which reminded me...
"You were going, right? Was it all because of our fight?"
"No, Dylan. I had already decided. It took me too much time to decide, but I have finally made up my mind."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Moreover, for how long shall I run away from my life? I have to face it, I have to go back. I have to tell Julia what I think about her and our relationship."
"If you have decided, I won't stop you. But remember this I am always here for you. If things don't go well, just come back here."
"That is something I wanted to talk to you about."
"…."
She looked at me in a serious manner and said something I wasn't expecting.
"Dylan, no matter what happens between me and Julia, no matter if our relationship couldn't go back to how it was... promise you won't try to find me."
"What? Why?"
"I have always seen this when I am in trouble, you come to help me. But what will happen one day when you are not able to? How will I manage things on my own?"
"I promise you, I will always come for you."
"No, I need to figure this out on my own and I need to handle everything without your help. That's why you must promise me you won't try to find me, no matter what happens."
She raised her hand toward me and insisted on keeping it like that. I hesitated for a moment. I know what she is saying is right, a person shall always look out to solve their own problems. Not only that, but they shouldn't rely on anyone. But for some reason, I didn't want to say this. I didn't want to promise this to her.
But if I do not do this, she might not be able to bring herself to make any decision for her life. I decided to let her go. I raised my hand toward her, and putting up a fake smile, I said,
"Okay, I will not try to find you."
We both looked at each other. We decided for each other the promise to never meet again.
"Huh, walking is so tiring. I should have asked Dylan to drop me here."
I walked on the street to get to my home. I never thought that it was this far away from his house. First, I had taken an e-rickshaw, but it had also stopped after a while. The man told me it's already 11:30 p.m. and he won't go any further than this. After that, it's been 15 minutes since I started walking, but the road isn't ending. It's like walking in an open-world game, but I don't have unlimited stamina. I should have taken a cab home. But that would have cost me much more, and I don't have enough cash with me. I should have borrowed some from Dylan, but it wouldn't be a good choice since we were never going to meet again.
After a while of walking, I felt a presence, like someone was watching me. I looked around, and there was no one there. Not even a single dog was to be found. I startled a bit. it was good that there was no man on the streets, otherwise, it might be more dangerous for me, but still, not even having any presence around is also frightening.
*Thunder*
I looked above, and the clouds were also screaming. It's going to rain soon. I need to get home before it starts. I ran in the direction of my house before it poured even one drop.
"Finally, I am here."
I opened the gate and walked inside, reminding myself. No matter what happens, I will accept it.
[Meanwhile outside, the shadows stretched across the pavement. Someone is watching Samayra with lustful eyes. A man in a black hood, a mask covering his whole face, and black goggles. His hand trembles and he slowly puts it in his pants. Feeling comforted by that, he starts breathing in a shallow manner as he closes his eyes and feels nirvana.]