[54] Overflow (4)
Shiina forced herself not to waver. With Shirone having awakened the Immortal Function, he might fall into an overflow. Etella had said he could get through it on his own, but if the feared worst actually happened, Shirone's life would be ruined.
While she was lost in thought, Istas stopped. Shiina didn't hesitate and stepped inside. She strode down the corridor and flung open the iron door labeled "Supernatural Psychoscience Research Club."
Children sat amid a pale haze of smoke. Unsurprisingly, they wore easy smiles with not a shred of surprise, and Shiina felt her temper flare again.
It was a familiar scene. The only difference was that the obnoxious troublemakers who'd constantly clashed with her were all gone—graduated—and Shirone had taken their place.
Why did everyone change when they joined this club? And of all people, Shirone too.
Normally Shirone would have greeted her with a bright, innocent smile, but now he kept a perfect poker face. She had expected it, but it still stung. Nade sat arrogantly with one leg crossed; beside him, Iruki leaned back in his chair, slouching and staring up at the ceiling. Their whole demeanor pushed teachers away, and Shiina snorted as she entered.
"Not even going to greet your teacher? You brats…"
"We were so into our debate we didn't notice. Welcome," Nade said, his face cold. The research club, an autonomous student organization, had grown into a major part of the academy's community by fiercely guarding itself against teacher interference. Of course they weren't pleased she'd barged in and started inspecting them.
Hmph. School is one thing and a club is another, huh?
But this arrogance wouldn't last. The faculty council had already approved dissolving the club, and Shiina had come to terms with Etella, the teacher in charge.
"So what is it, Teacher? It's been quiet lately, no incidents," Nade said.
"We received an official notice about the research club. I came to deliver it in person."
"Then come on in. It's shabby, but make yourself at home." Nade patted a spot on the sofa like nothing could touch him.
"Thanks. Since you're here, how about a cup of tea?"
"Would you trust the tea I make? As you know, once Istas activates, no one can find this place."
Shiina raised an eyebrow and sneered. She already knew there wasn't even a cup of cold water in this battered storage room. As aggravating as their behavior was, she had to admit they had a certain nerve she couldn't entirely hate.
"Right. Now that you mention it, you must be a little uneasy too. I'll get to the point. I want this lab vacated within a month."
Nade's eyes widened. The news hit him like a thunderclap and he immediately switched back into student mode, protesting.
"What? Vacated? Why all of a sudden?"
"After reviewing the paperwork, you operated this semester without meeting the minimum required membership. The school has already cut your funding. So clear out within a month, please."
"Wait! Shirone just joined! Once there are three members you get official recognition."
"But you've been inactive. If you want to save the club, you'll have to produce research results within that one-month deadline. And frankly, I don't see what kind of research you can do in this supernatural stuff."
"That's nonsense! A research club doesn't always have to hold a presentation!"
"This is a special situation. The lab's inside Istas, and your notoriety is high. Few clubs are as inactive as yours. Etella asked me to give you a month—be grateful."
Shirone was stunned. Just as his fondness for the club had begun to take root, they announced its dissolution out of the blue.
"But there's one way to save the club," Nade said quickly, leaning forward.
"What is it? What do we have to do?"
"Have Shirone withdraw from the club. If he does, we'll overlook it at least until next semester."
"Noooooo!"
Just as Shiina expected, the students sprang up.
"That's absurd! We didn't drag Shirone here by force—he's one of our three and we're always together at school. Why are you trying to tear us apart?" Iruki snapped.
"If you're worried I skip class, don't be. We each have our own way of studying."
Shirone couldn't just stand by and listen.
"I feel the same. I know the club's notorious and that Iruki and Nade don't always attend classes, but they study hard in their fields. They're not wasting their time. Please, be lenient."
Nade, knowing Shiina favored Shirone, dared to hope. But she held firm.
"That won't help. More than anything, Shirone, this decision is for your own good."
"For my own good? I think I'm doing my best."
"Shirone, what's been happening to you lately?"
Shirone's heart dropped. Nade and Iruki averted their eyes from Shiina.
From their reactions, Shiina guessed correctly: they'd told all their friends everything.
"You kids are terrible. Especially you, Iruki—if anyone would have known Shirone could fall into an overflow, it would be you. Why didn't you tell me?"
Shirone turned to Iruki.
"Iruki. What is an overflow?"
"Uh… it's nothing much. Like, what happens when you awaken beyond your current level? I went through it at eight, so…"
Shiina wasn't satisfied with that answer.
"If you fall into an overflow, your mind can collapse. I heard Etella talk about the Immortal Function. If you miss the timing, recovery could be impossible."
Shirone bit his lip and fell into thought. He had nightmares every night and was tormented by night terrors. Sometimes he worried he might actually lose his mind. There was no guarantee this wouldn't keep getting worse.
Shirone asked Iruki again. "How was it for you? For you specifically?"
"Hm. For me it wasn't a big deal. It was scary, sure. When I told my father, he said, 'You're just like that—live like it forever.'"
Shiina stared. The boy crying to his father and getting only that reply—how could a parent say such a thing? Then she thought of who Iruki's father was; neglect like that explained Iruki's prickly nature.
Grasping at straws, Shiina asked Nade, "Nade. As a friend, what do you think?"
"Hahaha. Well? I don't really know what an overflow feels like."
Shiina sighed. She'd hoped the friends' accounts would change Shirone's mind. Still, she'd made the danger clear; Shirone would, she believed, follow her advice.
"In any case, Shirone will withdraw from the club. If you care about your friend at all, accept it. Right now his mental state matters most."
Nade said it with an indifferent air. "Isn't that your judgment, teacher? I don't agree."
Shiina sighed in frustration. To stubbornly insist while knowing a friend's condition—that wasn't friendship.
"You don't understand how terrifying an overflow can be. Iruki might have said yes because he didn't know the danger."
"No. I think it's kind of strange too. Ultimately it's Shirone's decision. I don't see why the teacher is losing sleep over it."
That was a harsh thing between friends—but it was why they were friends. The fact Shirone wouldn't be hurt by this showed they all shared the same rational outlook.
"So you're saying it'd be fine if Shirone went mad?"
"There's no reason it'd be bad. But I think Shirone can get through it. If he's decided to be the best in this field, he has to accept risks like this."
Nade chimed in. "I agree. Don't you think the teacher's favoring Shirone a bit much? We don't mind, but it could weigh on him."
Nade paused, then, bright-eyed, added, "There's even a rumor among students that the teacher sees Shirone as a boy."
Of course that rumor hadn't actually spread. But it was an effective tactic against a teacher, and Shiina wasn't easily shaken—she'd weathered worse rumors from years of clashes with the underground research club.
"Fine. Assume that's true. Then can I take Shirone into my care?"
Even as a teacher, she couldn't unilaterally withdraw a student from the club unless rules had been broken. The club president's consent mattered more than the faculty's, so Nade's approval was crucial.
"Don't be ridiculous. So you're saying the rumor that the teacher sees Shirone as a boy is true?"
"If that's how you want to see it, fine. I won't back down."
"Really? Then you could date me too, right?"
Shiina shook her head as if she couldn't bear to imagine it. "No. That will never happen."
"See? Your words contradict yourself. You're favoring Shirone."
"Shirone is kind, honest, and popular—those are the kinds of things that make rumors start. But you? Not so much."
"…Teacher. Can I be allowed to be hurt right now?"
"No. Listen. Trying to trap me with this is useless. Even if you're graduating, I never view my students as anything but students. But if it's to take care of Shirone, I don't mind being misunderstood. He needs sustained attention. You're the ones being unreasonable."
Before Nade could answer, Iruki spoke up.
"I get why you worry, Teacher, but if Shirone can't get past an overflow, that's just his limit. He won't die. Isn't it reasonable to trust him?"
"Not dying? If it were anything else, I wouldn't go this far. But this is about the Immortal Function. There's no guarantee the worst won't happen."
"Maybe. But it hasn't happened yet. I think Miss Shiina is worrying too much about an uncertain possibility. This is obsession, not concern."
"Obsession?"
Shiina swallowed hard. It felt like someone had exposed the ache in her chest. Maybe Iruki wasn't entirely wrong. The darkness that had struck her unexpectedly as a child had left a wound deeper than any overflow.
Listening to them, Shirone broke the silence.
"I'm fine. Honestly, I'm scared, but more than that I want to watch. I want to see what will happen to me, and whether I can overcome it. Even if I fall into an overflow, I wouldn't resent you, Teacher."
Shirone's words stirred a faint memory in Shiina. The person who'd pulled her out of hell had said the same thing to her once.
- Shiina. Look straight at whatever comes to you. No matter how scary, don't turn away. Closing your eyes won't make it disappear.
- Get away! Big brother, you don't know anything!
If only I'd had that kind of courage…