[296] 6. A Massive Secret (5)
"We came to save you! Where are you right now?"
"Shioooooo!"
Nade hunched his four arms and shouted up into the sky.
All the egoists froze.
Amy sucked in a breath, watching closely. Her heart raced at the thought that her voice might have reached Shirone.
What followed, however, was terrifying. The egoists stretched as if being sucked by something and shot upward against the rain.
From high above they arced and began to be pulled into Nade's egoist.
The egoist that had absorbed their comrade started changing rapidly. Its bulk grew by more than three meters, and insect-like legs sprouted from its shoulders, flanks, and waist.
Its tail swelled like a bee's abdomen, and its face grotesquely elongated lengthwise into a curved, sausage-like shape. The face split open as if cleaved by a blade, exposing saw-toothed jaws, and a long tongue slithered out from its throat in rippling waves.
"Kyeeeeeee!"
Amy's face drained of color. There was no way that could be Shirone. The form the gathered egoists had created was hideously wrong.
When the creature set a foot down, the ground thudded. It was unwinnable. Clinging to her reeling thoughts, she forced herself into fighting stance.
If they backed down from only level 11, they wouldn't be able to save Shirone. Even if it cost her life right there, she intended to stand and fight.
"All right, move!"
"Good work! Now run!"
Armin passed by and called; Amy watched him go, baffled for a moment, then canceled her magic and sprinted. Reina followed immediately.
The three of them ran flat-out. From afar the egoists' monstrous cries cut through the rain.
Armin slipped into a narrow alley, leaned his back against the wall, and sank down. Amy and Reina sat opposite him, heads up, gasping. Rain pelted their faces like a shower.
Before Amy's breathing had even settled, she asked, "What on earth was that? It's Shirone's ritual—how could something like that come out of it?"
"It's a selfish defense mechanism humans possess. It's mixed into projections. The stronger the projection, the stronger the egoist's power."
Amy thought of how powerful Nade had been.
"Is it okay for us to just run like this?"
"When the self is attacked, egoists use nearby projections to manifest. But once they become fear-formed like this, their egoistic nature collapses, so they can't pinpoint our location. They're extremely powerful, and there's no benefit to trying to eliminate them, so fleeing is the wiser choice."
Reina rested her elbows on her knees and covered her face. Steam rose from her body after the run.
"Huff. Is it because we failed to inject the keywords?"
"We didn't fail—Shirone refused. He's very guarded. Understandably so, given the circumstances."
"Do we have to keep fighting things like that from now on?"
"For now, it's the only method. We must keep injecting the keywords until Shirone accepts. There's no way to drop him to Level 1 unless he guides us."
"But those are still Shirone's rituals. Couldn't we persuade them?"
Arius shook his head coldly. "Egoists are self-defense mechanisms everyone has. They regard everything but their owner as an enemy. The moment the keyword 'death' is entered, even we—who earned seven-gold and ten-gold trust—are no exception. It's not personal. The world recognizes self and others, but egoists perceive only self, self, self. For them, the concept of another person doesn't exist."
Amy, who had felt the egoists' blind aggression, ground her teeth.
"How do we fight them going forward? They're so strong."
"This is actually weak compared to deeper layers. The closer to the core, the stronger the egoists become. That's why we must find Shirone's avatar on the surface. If we enter the realm of First-Stage Instinct, egoists will seize most of the ritual to protect Shirone. In other words, they can wield power comparable to Shirone, the owner of this world. That's why divers never descend to the deepest depths. If Arius hadn't detected Shirone's weakened unconscious, he might have thought differently."
Amy's eyes lit up. "Then wouldn't the same apply to Arius and Zion? If egoists get stronger the deeper you go, they might die before they even arrive."
Armin shook his head. "No. He'll probably bypass Shirone instead of seeking him directly. A tomb-robber is an expert in the human mind. What looks ordinary to us contains meaning in its objects. Arius will interpret that meaning and find his own path downward. Of course, the chance of getting stopped increases below the REM layer, but by then Shirone's unconscious will likely be considerably fragmented. Arius is counting on that."
Reina said, "Then why don't we use Arius's approach? Amy knows Shirone well—maybe she can interpret the objects here."
"Hmm. The structure of consciousness differs by person. There are staircase forms, plaza forms, corridor forms, even topological spaces. But gateways to deeper layers are usually arranged underground. That feels most natural to the mind."
"So we just need to find a basement down here, right?" Amy asked.
Arius snorted. Apparently these women still didn't grasp how terrifying the human mind was. Then again, this was only level 11.
"I'm speaking in general terms. The human psyche is immensely complex and delicate. Unless you're an expert, you'd have to search every basement in this world, and even if you found one, you couldn't be sure it's the entrance to Level 10. You won't reach it before them anyway. But if we meet Shirone here, the situation could flip. We must keep injecting the keywords."
Reina's expression soured. "But the egoists will look for us every time we do that, won't they?"
"There's no other way. That's why I told you not to come. It's ridiculous to ask for help and then complain about this."
Amy didn't regret coming; only the thought that Shirone might attack her left a sour feeling. "Sigh. It's strange… having to fight inside Shirone's mind."
Armin gave her a cold look. "Amy, pull yourself together."
"Huh?"
"This isn't the time for sentimentality. As you've seen, another person's mind is an extremely dangerous place. Even top divers on Arius's level have lost their lives here countless times."
"I know. That's why I'm tense."
"Are you really?"
Amy blinked at Armin. She was tense—no, she was ready to risk her life.
"Don't be mistaken. Shirone isn't tormenting us. We're the ones barging in and tearing up his territory. This is Shirone's most private space—the part he doesn't want anyone to see. Miss Amy, you entered it. To get angry or disappointed at how this world responds would be cowardly and base."
"That—"
Amy had no reply. She had never considered it from Shirone's viewpoint. If someone entered her own mind and inspected everything… the thought alone was dreadful.
"We aren't going to meet Shirone. We're going to meet Shirone's avatar. An avatar is completely different from the Shirone you knew on the surface. Miss Amy couldn't perform extraction, so you might feel hurt, but to the avatar that could be natural. If you encounter Shirone's avatar, whatever it does will probably feel unlike Shirone."
Reina added, "In truth, that avatar may be the most accurate Shirone of all."
"Yes. What we can know about someone is usually only what's visible outwardly. But an avatar is different. It contains every emotion that makes up the person—even the shameful, hidden parts you'd never reveal to another. That's what we're going to see."
Amy thought for a moment, then took a deep breath and slapped both cheeks repeatedly. The sting cleared her head. She hadn't been prepared with true resolve—far from it.
"All right. I won't judge it. Ever."
Seeing the cold determination in Amy's eyes, Armin finally broke into a satisfied smile. Without that level of resolve, one could not endure inside another's mind.
If a man's confession of love turned out to be mere animal desire; if a friend's heart was riven with jealousy and spite—how many people could learn such truths and not feel betrayed?
Arius emphasized again, "Ataraxia will lie at least at Deep Level 3 or below. And that place gathers the things a person would never want to show another."
"Understood. I won't pry. I have secret feelings I don't want revealed either. I'm sorry for acting foolishly—maybe not being able to extract made my emotions waver."
Reina said, "It's fine. I didn't think of it either. And if I hadn't been extracted, I'd have felt hurt."
Amy gave a bitter smile. "Shirone probably feels hurt by me too. I was wrong. Even with Geumgangtae-level mental strength, he's still human with the same emotions as everyone else."
Armin, who'd been watching outside the alley, turned slowly and looked at Amy.
"What did you just say?"
"Huh? Oh—Shirone has the same emotions—"
"No, not that. Did you say Geumgangtae?"
Amy blinked, confused, then hurriedly explained when she saw Armin's unexpectedly grave expression. "Yes. There's a famous monk at school named Etella who said that. She said that to master Ataraxia, one must reach the realm of Geumgangtae."
"Damn it, idiot…!" Armin slapped his palm to his forehead.
How had he missed that? No matter how deeply an instinct is ingrained, Ataraxia is a concept too vast to be contained in a human mind. Under normal circumstances, its sheer capacity would shred the psyche. Yet Shirone wields it. Etella had been right.
"Forgive me, Miss Amy. I've been acting like a know-it-all. I was the fool. I could use a few blows to the head."
"Huh? I—what did I—?"
Armin gripped Amy's shoulders and steadied her. "You saved us. Come on. We're going to Shirone."
Reina readied her bow and stood. "So are we going to fight the egoists?"
"No. We'll bypass them. Like Arius."
Armin was confident. This method could catch up to Arius. More importantly, it was something the Zion party—who had to avoid Shirone—couldn't use even if they knew it.
He led the two women back onto the street. The fear-formed egoists seemed to have moved far away; none were nearby.
They waded through rainwater up to their ankles and arrived at the edge of a main road. A carriage stood there, the coachman sitting on the driver's bench, soaked.
He wore a narrow-brimmed magician's hat that cast a shadow over his face so that his features couldn't be seen. He looked almost faceless.
When Armin approached, the coachman didn't spare him a glance. "I'm not operating today."
Armin produced the remaining coins and showed them. The sum exceeded what the coachman's trust would expect, so he couldn't refuse outright. As Armin expected, his tone softened slightly, though he still sounded reluctant.
"It's hard to run on a day like this—the rain's too heavy. Where could you possibly be going?"
Armin glanced at the two women waiting behind him and made his request. "Take us to a place where it isn't raining."
The coachman's head snapped toward Armin as if jolted by electricity. The motion was so strange the women swallowed. He slowly faced forward, gripped the reins, and said, "Hop in, then, passengers."
(End of Volume 12)