[301] The Secret of the Abyss (2)
"By the way, this is truly astonishing."
Shirone had perfectly categorized his unconscious. Frankly, it was beyond astonishing—he scarcely seemed like something human-made.
Footsteps from the entrance made Armin and the others turn. Shirone approached, breathing hard, his face darker than before.
"I'm a little better. Let's hurry and go down."
Amy wiped her tears and moved toward Shirone.
"Are you okay? I'll support you."
"Get away. I don't want your help."
"You still have to go. Come here."
Despite Shirone's strong resistance, Amy supported him without hesitation.
Shirone, no longer able to hold himself up, had no choice but to accept the help.
Rena watched them and forced a bitter smile.
"So that's how it is."
At first she hadn't understood how two people could ignore their feelings and remain friends.
But now she thought she did. The two were linked by a trust that transcended emotion.
"I could never take that place," she thought.
"What a remarkable girl."
Armin stepped up beside Rena. Even she felt Amy was holding up well.
An avatar's hostility—being a pure emotion—was utterly reliable. Still, to sacrifice oneself for Shirone was not something an ordinary girl could do.
A genuine, relieved smile finally bloomed at the corner of Rena's mouth.
"She managed to hold on for a whole year."
* * *
Shirone's mind, third layer.
It was a world of bitter cold.
As if even the blood might freeze, a piercing chill battered them while Shirone's group hunched their shoulders and crossed an icy sea.
There was no sun, but the ground reflected moonlight enough to see ahead.
What lay before them, however, was only a vast darkness.
Amy imagined this was what a polar night must feel like.
So cold and lonely it was almost mystical—a sleeping place of extreme winter.
Within the extremely short visibility, occasional, person-sized crystals brushed past them like wayward plants.
Each crystal held a different hue and emitted a gentle, life-like glow.
"Love. Friendship. Desire," Armin said. "They're probably gems that contain those primal emotions. Unless we directly approach them, we can't read them—the unconscious is being treated almost like a conscious mind. No need to worry."
Amy exhaled in relief.
Because she hadn't touched Shirone's inner emotions, it wouldn't be awkward when they met again.
Of course, that only applied if they made it out of here alive.
The deeper they went, the more Armin felt she knew less about Shirone.
Even looking only at this third layer, it was a landscape impossible to build unless Shirone had independently established and defined every inner thing.
"How deep is this child's insight?"
As she thought that, the crystals' lights began to go out one by one. Shirone's figure grew haggard as if he might die at any moment.
Amy didn't turn to look at him.
He wouldn't want her to see him like this.
She simply moved forward, unable even to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.
The avatar's weight had grown so light it could no longer be called human.
"Just a little more, just a little longer, hold on, Shirone…"
Though he could barely take a step, Shirone forced his eyes open and stared into the darkness.
At last the curtain of night lifted, revealing a small cabin with a light on.
"There—that's it. Deep level, second layer."
Everyone recognized it now.
Armin moved her frozen legs quickly and explained, "We pierced the mental world on the shortest path. By now we might have caught up with Arius. Be prepared for anything."
That was an order to ready for battle.
From then on, Amy warmed her mind in formation.
Rena, frost forming on her bow, braced against the doorframe with an arrow nocked.
Armin swung the door open and peered into the cabin. She wasn't Jonar, but her undirected visual awareness let her sweep the room far faster than a normal person.
Rena flipped inside like a spring.
She followed Armin with bow leveled, covering all sides, but found no enemy.
When Armin signaled the area clear, Amy carried Shirone inside.
His skin, bluish from the icy wind, thawed in the warmth of the cabin.
Closing the door, the keening wind outside vanished without a trace.
"Th-there."
Shirone pointed with trembling fingers to the living room sofa.
Amy helped him lie down and he collapsed onto it like a puppet with its strings cut.
"I just… want to rest a little."
"That would be best."
Armin agreed after checking Shirone's condition.
Rena, taking the villain's role, spoke up, "We don't have time to waste. If Arius isn't here, it means he's already moved down to level one."
"Even if we find the ataraxia, extraction will take time. Even if we stop Arius, if we can't imprint something here, Shirone will die."
"Ah…"
Rena pictured the reality.
Zenoger's constricting line was cutting into Shirone's neck.
Now that they had reached the end of the deep layers, it was time to find a solution.
"Level one is Shirone's most distant memory. It's his primal consciousness—what happens in the womb—so it's impossible to plant clear concepts there."
"Basically this is Shirone's treasure vault," Rena said, looking around.
The place Shirone had chosen as precious was a cozy house—one could imagine how much familial warmth he had felt growing up.
Amy threw dry kindling into the fireplace and cast Ignite.
Damn Ignite.
She held her hands out to feel the fire's warmth and turned to the group.
"The problem is methods, but where would we record anything?"
"It varies by person. But from what we've seen so far, it might take the form of books. Let's check the library."
The three of them went to the study.
Shirone's lifelong thoughts were categorized and stored in book form.
There were books titled with people's names.
Vincent, Olina, as well as Rena and Armin—everyone's names were tucked neatly on the shelves.
As Amy scanned the names of the students from the Magic Academy, she fixed on one book.
Karmis Amy.
A red-covered book.
Everything was contained in that volume.
How Shirone thought of her. With what feelings he had looked at her.
Amy, as if entranced, pulled the book free and stroked the leather hardback.
Armin and Rena watched from behind.
"I won't stop you, Amy. If that's what will satisfy you."
"Amy has led Shirone this far. She deserves it."
Rena glanced at Armin, surprised.
She had expected it would be improper to allow another woman's feelings, but she hadn't expected Armin to approve as well.
One thought floated through Rena's mind.
"So it's even less likely than we thought."
Armin was assuming the worst-case scenario.
If they couldn't find a way to save Shirone, this could become Amy's final memory with him. Armin's thought was that Amy should at least know his heart before they parted.
"No. I won't do it."
Amy checked only the book's cover and then re-shelved it.
Nothing was over yet. Shirone would live. He would still compete with her and become a mage.
"There doesn't seem to be a way to imprint anything here. Let's go somewhere else."
Amy left the study without regret. Armin and Rena exchanged smiles.
Amy met Shirone's unblinking stare as she passed. But she no longer cared—she had reached a state of detachment.
"All right, hate me all you want. When we get back to reality I'll beat you senseless."
"I hate you. I really do."
"Hah! Say whatever. I hate you too. Nyah!"
As Amy stuck out her tongue, Shirone coughed.
A mouthful of blood rose up and he spat it out. Amy, pale-faced, ran to him.
"Shirone! Are you okay?"
Though his eyes had been sharp even as his mental world collapsed, now their focus had slipped away.
The avatar had grown so light it no longer registered weight.
Shirone forced his trembling eyelids up and said, "Why… do you… hate me…"
"All right, I know. Try to snap out of it."
"…I hate it."
Shirone's voice was a dying whisper.
"I hate that you dance with other people…"
Amy felt as if she'd been struck in the head with a hammer.
She assumed his disappointment came from not being able to save his life. She never imagined it would be because she had danced with Zion.
"That's… that's—Shirone…"
It had been an unavoidable incident.
Or was it really?
Was she completely innocent of his complaint?
"You idiot, it wasn't like that."
Amy's voice trembled as she spoke.
She had known Shirone would be hurt, yet she had averted her gaze.
She had been too afraid.
"It's really not like that. I… I…"
Shirone squeezed the remaining strength from his faint voice.
"Run… away. Take everyone… and leave this place. I can't… I'll kill everyone."
Amy shook her head and wrapped Shirone in her arms.
No matter what happened, she wouldn't give up. She would never let him go from her embrace.
"No one will die. I'll save you! I will definitely save you!"
Shirone was losing consciousness.
No matter how loudly Amy shouted, his unfocused eyes seemed to register only the ceiling.
"Run… Amy."
Rena, who had been checking Shirone's room, came out into the living room and shouted, "Amy! Over here! Found it!"
Amy left Shirone on the sofa and dashed into the room.
She didn't even think to wipe her tears. With the last possible moment upon them, it was do-or-die.
On the table in Shirone's room lay an open notebook.
Armin was waiting; Rena paced helplessly, stamping her feet.
Amy pointed at the notebook as she approached.
"Is this it?"
"Yeah. It looks like a stream-of-consciousness notebook. But try as I might, I can't think of a way to use it. What should we do, Amy?"
Amy moved to the table and peered at the notebook.
At the top of the last page, written in block letters, was 'Amy.'
She made a pained expression and turned the page to see how Shirone had thought of her.
There it was again—Amy's name.
And again throughout the notebook.
She turned another page. The same.
No matter how many pages she flipped, she couldn't find the point where Amy's name began.
Tears welled up in Amy's eyes. She shook her head briskly, collecting herself.
She had to save Shirone. By any means.
But how?
No matter how she racked her brain, no way came to mind that would safely get Shirone out from the line constricting his throat.
At that moment the cabin shook like an earthquake.
Amy grabbed the table to steady herself.
If the second layer of the deep level was trembling, it meant Shirone's life in reality was nearly over. If they didn't catch up to Arius, everyone here would end their lives.
"Amy! We have to go down now! I'll bring Shirone back!" Rena called as she rushed from the room, but Amy couldn't move.
Even if she died here, she needed to figure out a way Shirone could live.
"No! I don't know! What am I supposed to do?"
But reality was different from the mental world.
If something couldn't be done, it couldn't be done.
Rena and Armin weren't fools.
They must be trying to find a way for at least someone to survive because they recognized the physical impossibility otherwise.
Amy gripped the pen on the table so hard her hand shook. Every passing second felt like a curse.