[777] Chain Reaction (3)
* * *
When Miro arrived in Sion, she convened a council of the monks representing each sect.
With the Buddha absent, it was the perfect chance to strike at evil, and the operation had to be swift and strategic.
Because this was the opening step of a war with no set end, the meeting took some time.
Meanwhile, Gaold's group listened to the briefing about Sion and reunited with Armin and Kuan.
"Is that Gaold?"
All eyes among the monks fixed on Gaold.
'The man who defeated the Buddha.'
They would hear the story from Miro anyway, but the young acolytes couldn't contain their curiosity.
Their minds were clear; though the Law's power was strong, they were still students on the path.
"What could enlightenment higher than the Buddha even mean?"
At first Gaold pretended not to notice, but as the crowd swelled he finally stopped walking.
'Begin!'
An almost breathless silence fell.
"Sit on the latrine and bear down hard."
When Gaold spoke, the monks listened as if not a single word could be lost.
"What comes out of there is enlightenment."
Gaold turned away coolly and left. The acolytes exchanged puzzled looks.
"This is a fairly difficult koan."
One bald boy propped his chin and muttered.
"Hm—sit on the latrine and bear down. What comes out is enlightenment…."
He snapped his head up and blurted,
"Shit?"
Enlightenment is shit.
"Maybe he meant: treat enlightenment like something as worthless as shit. In other words, don't cling to it."
Since it was the pronouncement of the man who'd defeated the Buddha, they tried to interpret it kindly.
"I get it. Expel the enlightenment inside you like shit, and you'll attain true enlightenment."
The children were impressed.
"Ooh, Commander, your insight is superb. So… you have to discard the Buddha to accept the Buddha?"
As the acolytes buzzed, Gangnan—who'd been thinking—asked Gaold,
"What was your intent in saying that?"
Gaold shrugged, annoyed.
"What do you think? I told you to go and take a dump."
"Ahahahaha!"
Gangnan's laugh cut through the cold sky.
"Huh? Why is he like that?"
When the acolytes all turned to Gangnan, Liria—a senior figure in Sion—approached.
"Gaold was joking."
She was the totemist from the Akeanis altar that had sealed the Optrus at the old fortress, the one who came with Dante.
"A joke? So he lied?"
The monks scowled at Gaold, and Liria gave a knowing smile.
"That doesn't matter. What truly matters is that you felt enlightened because of Gaold's words."
"...."
"Enlightenment isn't necessarily grand or flashy. It's finally seeing something that was already there."
To a simple child, a single breath can be a vast enlightenment.
"Gaold already understands that, so whether he speaks a lie or the truth doesn't change anything."
In the end, the Way converges into one.
"Enlightenment is shit…."
The monks regarded Gaold with reverent eyes, and Liria stepped aside.
'He could be a great asset to the world.'
With that thought, she entered the makeshift temple in Sion, where Miro emerged after finishing the meeting.
"Thank you for your efforts, Miro."
Miro returned the polite greeting.
"Yes. What about Gaold?"
"He went back to his lodgings a little while ago. He's a tough one. The power of evil will weaken further for a while."
Miro sighed softly.
"Does something trouble you?"
"Actually…."
Thinking this wasn't the place to talk, Miro took Liria's hand and led her to a quieter corner.
Miro normally had no reason to bare her heart to others, but Gaold's case was an exception.
'If it's Liria…'
Most of the monks in Sion were people close to the Path, so there was no need to be restrained.
"I see."
Liria listened to the two's private concerns and nodded with sympathy.
"Do you feel guilty?"
"I don't know. This is too complicated. I need Gaold's help, but this feels wrong."
"Of course."
Liria was resolute.
"The reason the righteous differ from the wicked is that they aren't cowardly. I think you should speak, Miro."
The gloom that had darkened Miro's face lifted.
"Of course I'm a third party saying this…."
"No. You should go see Gaold now."
Liria smiled and shrugged.
"Have a good time."
No matter how one fought for the world, how could one be truly human without love?
"Thank you, Liria."
Miro left. At the now-silent table, Liria crossed her legs and rested her chin on her hand.
"Sigh, I want to fall in love, too."
Having chased only evil her whole life and scarcely met a man, Dante's face drifted into her thoughts.
'He's probably forgotten me. I wonder if he's doing well?'
"Okay, go straight ahead."
Having already decided, Miro had nothing more to debate. Still, her heart raced as she walked to Gaold's lodgings.
"I can't stand this suffocating feeling."
She would lay her heart bare and force him to choose between her and the world.
'And if he chooses me…'
Her stride halted and her face flushed.
'What if I'm horribly awkward?'
Loving could be driven by feeling, but confessing it honestly was new to her.
The more scenarios she ran, the more she fretted—then she squared her shoulders and marched on.
'I don't know! I'll just turn off the lights!'
At Gaold's lodgings she found Gangnan, Julu, Armin, and Sein gathered.
"Huh? What are you all doing here?"
"Miro."
Armin scratched her head, embarrassed.
"Why are you all here? Where's Gaold?"
"He's leaving now. He's packing," Sein said.
Miro's eyes widened.
"At this hour? Where to?"
"To the battlefield."
Before Miro could offer any alternative, Gaold had clearly already decided.
"It's because of you."
Gangnan glared. "You didn't say one warm word on the way here. How can you be so selfish? Is that the righteousness you speak of?"
Righteousness is one thing; love is another.
"Who dates someone out of pity? I'll follow my heart. Besides, if I don't choose Gaold, isn't that better for you?"
"Kuh!"
Gangnan couldn't argue and bit her lip. Miro closed her eyes and regretted her outburst.
'I hate feelings for this reason.'
Unlike convictions, they make everything uncertain.
"I'm sorry. I know I can be cruel. But I've made up my mind. I'll speak."
Miro gripped the doorknob.
"Everyone… could you please give us space?"
That was explanation enough. Gangnan turned away sadly and the others followed.
"Phew."
Calming herself, Miro opened the door and found Gaold packing his bag.
"What, no knock?"
"Hmph. Whatever you were doing, it's none of my business!"
Gaold set the packed bag on the bed.
"Don't overdo it. You have work to do. Don't think too much—just do it."
As Miro closed the door behind her, she asked, "And you?"
"...."
"Are you going to keep fighting for me? Endure awful pain? What do you get out of that?"
"It's not your fault."
For the first time he met her eyes.
"It's not your fault that I'm sick, that I look like this. Cast me out of your heart. Then you can be whole."
"So I ask again—what will happen to you?"
"I'll be fine."
Warmth flickered in Gaold's gaze.
"I'm not the helpless man I used to be. Now I can fight for you. I'll purge the world's evil."
Miro couldn't hold back her feelings.
"…And if you die doing that?"
Tears slipped free.
"And if you die? If you live in pain your whole life and then die, what was your life? What kind of life is that?"
"I won't die."
Even his smile looked pained.
"I will never die until you smile happily, until you look at me."
Miro sat on the bed and gently cupped Gaold's hair with both hands.
'Right. That's who he is.'
Gaold was that sort of person.
'A follower of the Yore faith.'
A naive youth who simply wished everyone's hearts to be full of love, ignorant of the world's ways.
'I should have known.'
Yet that inexperienced young man had endured the searing hell and confessed to Miro.
'I should have known at least then.'
On the day she bade the world farewell—when her limbs were torn yet he still called her name to the very end—she should have understood.
'How foolish was I?'
Why had she thought him a fool?
He had fought twenty years through terrible suffering and rescued her in heaven.
'He killed gods…'
Killed them again.
'And killed them again!'
He who had even defeated the Buddha now vowed to slay all evil in the world for the woman he loved.
"Because that's who you are."
Miro hugged Gaold's face with both arms and cried out as tears burst forth.
"You're the strongest person in this world!"
So—
"Until this war ends, I will…."
Miro looked up at the ceiling and said, "I will never love you. I will erase your existence completely from my heart."
From inside her embrace, Gaold whispered, "...Okay."
"Instead, I promise you this."
Miro sat and stroked Gaold's cheek.
"If I can't love you, I won't love anyone else. No one will have my heart."
"So—"
"You can meet someone else. If you want to give up on a woman like me, give up anytime. If there's even one moment you can be happy, don't hesitate—take that happiness. Promise me!"
"...I promise."
If that could help erase him from her.
"Gaold. Gaold…."
Miro, tenderly stroking the sleeping Gaold, wiped her tears and dashed out of the room.
Only after the door slammed did Gaold slowly lift his lids.
For a moment grief swelled as if it might explode, then it cooled like a spent firework.
"Then I just have to end the war."
Only for her.
With a single, simple purpose entered, Gaold rose like a machine and slung his pack over his shoulder.
Dawn had come. When he stepped outside, a chill like frozen breath bit at his nose.
"...."
Under a lamp in the middle of the ice field, Julu and Gangnan, ready to depart, waited.
Gaold approached and said, "From now on, this is my fight."
Gangnan pursed her lips. "When wasn't it? Still, you're annoying…."
Like ducklings.
Gaold smiled and tapped Gangnan's shoulder, then went to Julu, who had Kaidra waiting.
"Where's it worst?"
Julu answered as he'd heard.
"The south."
It wasn't that demonic forces were strongest there, but human strength was relatively thin.
"I see."
Gaold turned and said, "Let's go, you mangy mutt."
Gangnan, radiating the fighting spirit of a Rammuai warrior, curled her lip and strode forward.
No matter who loved whom, the only person who could cross the river of death with Gaold was her.