Last Stand (3)
Valkyrie Headquarters.
When the mining in the Arca Mountains was winding down, Dorothy came to see Iruiki with the approval paperwork in hand.
"Ninety-three percent of the projected yield. That should be enough to call the mission complete, right?"
Iruiki nodded as he signed.
"Good work."
Dorothy stuck out her lip.
"What? That's all you can say—'good work'?"
"You know my personality."
Dorothy thought Iruiki was blunt, but by no means cold.
"You lie to yourself a lot. You actually wanted to say something else, didn't you? Like—"
"Let's go grab something to eat. What do you want?" Dorothy realized then.
"You're hiding something, aren't you?"
Even in the worst situations he never showed it, but today he looked nervous.
When Iruiki turned and started for the door without a word, Dorothy followed and pressed him.
"What's going on? You can tell me. Is it because of the war?"
"No. Don't worry—"
As Iruiki took the knob and opened the door, a woman's voice came from the hallway.
"I'm here to see the Commander!" Dorothy peeked out and saw a small group arguing at the far end of the corridor.
"You! Do you know where you are? Do you think a mere battalion commander can just demand a private audience with the Valkyrie Commander?"
"Just let me say my piece! That man—no, the Commander will let me meet him."
"Amy?"
Dorothy's eyes widened.
"What's going on? Why is Amy here?"
"I asked her to come."
Iruiki replied curtly and signaled Aromi.
"Tell her to come in."
He and Amy were friends, but Aromi still had rules to uphold.
"But Commander, this is Valkyrie Headquarters. For someone at the lieutenant colonel level to secure a private audience without following proper procedure would be a breach of protocol."
"What legal procedure would a lieutenant colonel need to follow to have a private meeting with me?" Aromi's eyes went hard.
"There is no such law."
Iruiki understood what she meant, nodded, and walked into the office.
"Tell her to come in."
Ten minutes later Amy knocked and entered.
"Amy." Dorothy greeted her warmly, then drew her hand back when she saw Amy's expression.
An awkward silence stretched before Amy squared her shoulders and saluted.
"Loyalty. Lieutenant Colonel Carmis Amy. I request an audience with the Valkyrie Commander."
Iruiki didn't return the salute.
"That's enough—don't be formal."
Then he said to Dorothy, "Step outside for a bit."
Dorothy thought there was nothing useful for her to see, but precisely because of that she couldn't bring herself to leave.
"No. It's not just military business, is it? Then I have the right to hear it too."
"It's fine. I won't take long."
Iruiki exhaled softly.
"All right. What do you want to say?"
"You already know."
Amy stepped forward.
"As of yesterday at noon my assignment was changed. I've been reassigned as a training officer to the Capital Defense Command."
"I know."
Amy's brow twitched.
"Was that your order?"
"Yes."
Her fist clenched.
"Why? What's the reason?"
"Rear training is as important as front-line combat. Among officers, your unit's training capabilities are—"
"Iruiki."
Amy asked again, voice low.
"What's the reason?"
The mood turned tense. Dorothy hovered awkwardly as Iruiki blurted out.
"You look like someone who wants to hit me."
"I just want the truth. Why did you send me to the rear? Because I'm your friend?" "I promise. If you're honest, I won't get angry. The only reason you pulled me out of the line was that?"
Iruiki's mouth opened slowly.
"Yes."
No sooner had the word left his mouth than Amy struck him across the face with her fist.
With a thud Iruiki crumpled to the floor and Dorothy hurried to support him.
"Iruiki! Are you all right?"
Turning, Dorothy saw Amy raise another punch, fury blazing in her eyes.
"Not yet."
Dorothy grabbed out a hand.
"Don't hit his head! If you hit that he's a corpse!"
Taking that to heart, Amy lifted her foot and aimed at Iruiki's abdomen.
Dorothy reached further.
"Not there either! That one's mine." Tears gleamed in Amy's eyes.
"…What do you know?"
Iruiki's face was still calm.
"Do you know how much training I went through to get where I am? How many times I barely escaped death? Do you know any of that?"
"No."
Iruiki pushed himself up.
"You don't need to know that to be kept alive. I made the decision, and I'll take responsibility. Junior officers stay in the rear."
Only then did Dorothy understand.
"So that's it."
She understood the shame Amy must feel, and the anguish Iruiki must have suffered to make that choice.
Amy drew her foot back.
"I can't accept it. I know it's pointless to come this far, but that's why I came. Send me back to the front. That's what you can do."
"No. I'm the Commander. If you disobey I can send you not to the Capital Defense Command but to the brig."
"…Is that what you want? While my subordinates, my comrades, are dying, I alone would cowardly survive?"
"Yes."
"You—!"
Just as Amy was about to spit out a curse, Iruiki's face contorted and he roared.
"Just—live!"
Seeing him furious was something Dorothy had never seen in all the years since Magic Academy.
He sprang to his feet.
"I'm already wrecked. Do you know the orders I give? You want the truth? I'll tell you. If you go there you all die! Ninety-nine percent chance of death! Do you understand? If you go there you will definitely die, you idiot!"
Once the dam burst, he couldn't stop.
"So what if you're a coward? I took responsibility and tried to pull you out! You think it's because I've got a friend in command? So what if it's shameful—endure it! Shut your mouth and I'll handle everything!"
"I understand how you feel. But Iruiki—"
"Shut up! How can you know my feelings? Do I look like I have room for delusions? You want me to send you where death is already a foregone conclusion? What about Shirone? If you die there, horribly, how do you expect me to look Shirone in the face? Just live!"
Beneath the strain on Iruiki's face, Amy saw something else.
He wasn't angry.
Tears ran down Amy's cheeks.
"That Iruiki…he looks terrified."
She had never seen him so afraid.
If Iruiki said someone would die, it was the truth.
"I get what you mean. And I understand your wish to keep me alive."
Amy couldn't say for certain she would have acted differently in his position.
"But before being Shirone's lover, before being your friend, I'm a soldier. That's mine alone—not something anyone else can define. And a soldier can't act like that."
Iruiki bowed his head against the desk.
"Didn't you hear me? If you go there you die. If you want to die so badly, do as you please."
Amy shook her head.
"I don't want to die. Of course I want to live. I want to live and be happy with Shirone and my friends. But you know…as much as I want to live—" She swallowed back a sob.
"Other people want to live, too. Still, we fight to protect humanity."
Iruiki's voice was hoarse.
"Every time I give an order, at least thousands die. The reports never stop. Ten thousand here, a hundred thousand there. They echo like tinnitus."
No sane mind could hold up under that.
"It's horrible. I don't even want to imagine what ten thousand dead looks like, yet it comes in my dreams. But no imagination…"
Iruiki clutched his head.
"Nothing compares to you dying. Every face I know, every expression, every pain—if I think of them I feel like I'll go mad."
"Iruiki."
Amy stepped close with a sad smile and stroked his cheek.
Iruiki looked up through wet eyes.
"If you go there, I can't help you in any situation. That terrifies me."
Amy looked at him with pity.
"Iruiki…my dear friend."
How many times had he sat alone in the gray hush of his mind, thinking, worrying, weighing everything? He was colder and more rational than anyone—that was why the situation terrified him so utterly.
Dorothy wiped her tears.
"Amy, can't you just stay here? Given how things are, can't you just live?"
The words rose in her throat, but against Amy's conviction they sounded like childish pleading.
Amy spoke dryly.
"Don't worry. I can handle whatever comes. I'm a soldier. There's nothing in this world I'm afraid of."
She didn't say she wanted to live.
"Send me back to the front. Just as you cherish me, I cherish my subordinates. I won't shove them into the maw of death and single-handedly vouch for myself. Understand?"
"You're stubborn as hell."
"Ha."
Satisfied with that, Amy stepped back and saluted.
"I will return to my unit."
Her eyes were brighter than when she had first arrived. Iruiki let out a long breath.
"…Approved."
A satisfied smile spread across Amy's face as she opened the door and waved to them.
"Sorry for barging in. I'm swamped, so I'll go—have a good time."
She hurried off to catch up; if she moved quickly she could match her unit's rapid march.
"Amy—"
Dorothy started to speak, but Amy had already closed the door and left.
"She didn't want to leave any room for emotion."
Iruiki circled the desk and sat, burying his face in his hands.
"Iruiki, are you all right?"
"As if I'm all right. Still—just admit I've had a vicious streak since school."
Dorothy couldn't get closer because he was shaking.
Damn it—
He'd thought he could do anything.
I'm sorry, Shirone. I couldn't stop her. Even if it meant being beaten to death trying, I should have stopped her…
At first he had really meant to do that.
No matter the blame, even if it meant never seeing Amy again, he planned to force his will through.
"I couldn't stop her!"
He couldn't break her conviction.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Shirone!"
Dorothy drew him into a gentle embrace as he sobbed.
"Move! Get out of the way!"
Amy—authorized by Valkyrie Headquarters—ran for the teleportation magic circle.
Time was tight, but if she hurried she could still catch up and rejoin them.
"Wait up, everyone. I'm coming." Faces eager to greet her came to mind; her unit's morale would soar.
Amy's eyes gleamed with life.
"I will never yield."
Even if what she waited for was death, she would not bow to fear.