What Is God (2)
Shirone studied the eyes that seemed to be staring down at the world of the High Gear.
He couldn't feel any emotion, but the will to see was unmistakable.
Why eyes?
When life first arose, the ways a creature could sense the world must have been nearly infinite.
Why choose sight?
It sees.
Even if the human before him were blind, those eyes were clearly looking into an abyss.
That kind of seeing — shi (視).
"He sees light. He sees the world. He examines the principles and systems within it. He sees the mind inside himself."
Had he not chosen to see, his thought patterns would have been different; different thought leads to a different mind.
"In other words, an entirely different universe would be born."
Again.
Why eyes?
Shirone could guess the identity of the pupils beyond the veil of signals.
"That is will."
The All-Seeing Eye.
The single outside will to view this world had projected itself in the form of eyes.
"Therefore, what creatures see is inevitable." To see what?
God.
So where is God?
Ah.
Shirone understood.
"The question itself was wrong. Creatures—humans—have been looking at God since the moment they first opened their eyes.
Even with God right in front of them, they hunted for God's presence as if they had no eyes.
"We opened our eyes to see God."
At the instant he passed through the torn veil, Shirone reached the final question.
After all—
What is God?
Time.
A signal that pervades the whole universe, that no one can escape, and that is independent across every dimension.
"Therefore—eyes."
Creatures wanted to look at time.
"A sensory organ that receives light-signals. To directly confirm the grand rhythm of this world…
That will is the beginning and end of intelligence."
"Still, humans search for God. Why do they think God is invisible?"
Because it's too vast.
"The scale of time equals the scale of space." Angels can, by their gaze, check information from extremely distant places.
This is called sight-range.
If someone could see a planet ten billion light-years away with their eyes—
Would time almost stop?
If someone gained a view that encompassed the whole universe in one glance—
Would God be there? If that were the case—
"We would have seen God with our eyes; therefore God would be real, and finally we could say we know God."
His thought stopped there.
It's me.
Brushing the lightning-fast idea away, Shirone dismounted the High Gear.
"I see what you see. I see it too." The veil closed.
"What—what was that?"
When Yahweh suddenly disappeared, the users watching from the ground murmured.
"Where did he go? Did his code jump?"
A message reached the operator.
-User codename has been deleted. It has been completely erased from the database.
It would take time to understand how that was possible, but one thing was clear.
Yahweh.
Everyone in this world wanted him to come back.
An undefinable space.
Near-nothingness felt like seeing your own reflection in darkness where there is no light.
To go—
Shirone spoke.
"Outside world?"
(Author's note in original: For readability I won't usually render reversed thought as backwards text.)
His thinking currently flowed backward, but he himself felt nothing strange.
"This is me."
The image reflected in the dark was not the High Gear body but the real Shirone.
"No—actually, that's unknowable too."
Even the "real Shirone" form was only a shadow cast into the idea.
How far must I go?
He walked without a destination.
He felt like he was walking, but whether he was actually moving through space was unclear.
What the hell is this?
He stopped.
If there's no space, there's no time. Then what is this place made of—
His consciousness dimmed.
Huh?
Shirone looked around.
Again his thought reversed relative to the outside world, but he still felt no dissonance.
"It's the home of iron, right?"
The memory of first entering the High Gear and catching metalrats was vivid.
Level three.
He recalled turning into the scrap heap at a right angle and hearing metal scrape.
That, too, was familiar.
No way?
When he ran there, countless metalrats swarmed a huge frame.
Right, that's it. I was hunting these…
Recalling that moment, he picked up a grenade, and a familiar hull appeared beyond the frame.
"Hey! Are you crazy?"
No need to confirm by AI—the hull of Destruction Machine 707 came into view.
What's going on?
The metalrats scattered, Destruction Machine 707 roared, and two familiar users appeared.
"Death Gongju. Codename: 'Strongest.'"
While Shirone stared blankly at them, the user with the 'Strongest' codename walked up and leveled a rifle.
He remembered clearly.
Surely back then—
Both spoke at the same time.
"Are you picking a fight with us right now?"
An undefinable space.
Before he knew it, Shirone found himself back in the outside world, seated with a serious expression, lost in thought.
Time hasn't passed, has it?
Again reversed.
"Because there's no space. Then what was that experience just now? A dream?"
No. It wasn't.
Not a dream. Closer to nothingness than that—literally born from nothing…
A kind of illusion.
What hallucination did I just have?
His consciousness wavered.
"I'm back, sir."
Standing before Shirone was the Jis frame, and immediately a door opened.
On the bed sat Yolge's son.
He remembered thinking "Fermi?" but the present Shirone silently stepped into the room.
"Seriously, that's Yolge's son?"
He heard Destruction Machine 707's party gasp in wonder, and Fermi offered him a chair.
"Sit. By the way… you brought company?"
"I have something to say."
At Yahweh2's cold voice, Destruction Machine 707's group turned their heads in surprise.
"What's so serious?"
"I've already experienced it."
"What do you mean?"
"This situation. This moment. Everything you were about to say when you called me here." A normal person might have called him mad, but Fermi went icy.
"Sit down. The others, get out."
That he hadn't even introduced the others showed the gravity of the matter.
The door closed. Fermi asked,
"Time reversal?"
"No, it's not that. Honestly, I don't really know. After all, this will be my illusion too."
Shirone told them everything.
"The solar event opened. And—"
When he finished the difficult-to-understand details, Fermi propped his chin on his hand.
"I don't get it."
Maybe that was the right answer; Fermi's insight was significant.
"You went into the outside world. And now you're here in front of me. But you're still in the outside world. Is that it?"
"Something like that."
"If I kill you?"
Fermi leaned forward and asked.
"If you kill me, what happens? Could you still encounter the situation of meeting me? If I leave reality, can you still meet me here?"
"Possible."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because I tried."
"I told you earlier. I heard everything you said. This is exactly the third time."
There is no time because there is no space.
"I cleared the solar event several times. Died and killed, Dr. Martin reversed it, then didn't…
I eliminated variables like that."
Hmm.
Fermi slowly reclined and was silent for ten minutes.
"Multiverse."
Fermi reached a conclusion.
"From the outside's perspective, infinitely many universes exist inside. The moment your mind moves, a new universe opens."
Shirone hung his head dejectedly.
"Yeah."
He had tried everything he could; there was nothing left to try.
"Why did you come?"
Fermi asked.
"You must have heard everything you could from me already. Why come see me?"
"Reason?"
Shirone gave a hollow laugh.
"Haha."
So that's how it is.
"That's the difference between inside and outside, Fermi. You understand my words, but you don't grasp the essence." Shirone clenched both fists.
"What are we supposed to do in this situation? Just pick any universe and live there? Then what about the original universe? All the people waiting for me there?"
Fermi was part of that world too.
"Do you think I can go back? You're wrong. Even if everything is the same, that place isn't the world I planted my mind in. It's just a copy."
"Still—"
"No, you don't know. You're busy trying to apply this information to reality. That's why it's closed."
"Calm down."
"It's fine. You don't have to be calm. Want me to tell you why? Do you know what this is? No matter how coldly you think—no matter what you shout at me!"
An undefinable space.
"…This is what happens." It's just an illusion.
In a place where any event becomes delusion, what can you accomplish?
Where is my mind?
Is the outside world infinitely free, or trapped by that infinity?
"I want to go back." Shirone leaned back and felt pressure as if there were a wall.
He'd had countless delusions.
It's me.
If it's like this even in High Gear, what must Nane's feelings be after leaving the photon realm in reality?
"She must have been very sad."
Perhaps she screamed with tear-streaked eyes.
"We can't meet. No matter what delusion you have, the Shirone inside that delusion is not me."
You can't return.
Even if, from some High Gear universe, you left into reality, even if you fought there—
Could I ever give my heart back to that place?
Is that possible?
"Abandon the Amy in my heart and love a new Amy? This Kael, the Griffins…
McClane Griffin?"
"Yeah! Griffin!"
Shirone jumped to his feet.
"I left the photon realm. So how did I send Hexa? Did I just fire it into any random world?"
If his conviction had been that weak, he wouldn't have sent Hexa in the first place.
"I can go back!"
Pacing the undefinable space, Shirone kept talking without stopping.
"We'll find it. There must be a way. Retrace the steps I took. Flip my mind. Flip my mind—what does that mean?"
He repeated it over and over.
"Undo the delusion. Sniff. What was I thinking? My mind, at that moment…"
Even as he choked up, Shirone's footsteps came to an abrupt halt.
"Wait a second."
An unease he should never have felt.
"Right now, I—"
The insight of Yahweh, whose thought rivaled a buddha's, suddenly flashed through his mind.
"Why am I thinking in reverse?"