What Is God (4)
Administrator conference room.
"It's over."
The "Dr. Martin's Counterattack" episode ended with an unprecedented victory for the users.
The Black Circle mark said, "Not a bad episode. Notch Go, huh."
Number Seven's screen, which had been offline until then, lit up.
It was Uorin's command.
"Tch! So what? Do whatever you want. Strip me of admin privileges or something."
The Smile mark snapped, "Can you say that so easily? Because of you, High Gear almost shut down."
"I know! That's why I'm asking — what do you want me to do? I'll hand over my entire stake in Under Coder! Happy now?"
The Lollipop mark said, "Wouldn't it be better to apologize first?"
"You think I'm doing this because I don't want to apologize? I just want to take responsibility. I'm already ruined; if I leave here my neck's on the line. You told me to spill everything, so tear me apart however creatively you want. I don't ever want to think about High Gear again."
Time couldn't be turned back, and there were limits to what could be punished inside High Gear.
The Gear mark thought, 'But that's the appeal of the Under Coder. We all came because of that freedom.'
That mark said, "Enough. Just buzz off. What're you doing here anyway? It's on the rest of us—the sane ones—to clean up the shit you made. Live like that and die like that." Fire flared in Number Seven's chest, but because of what he'd done he gritted his teeth and answered.
"I said I'll take responsibility."
"So how are you going to do that? Why ask us when you don't even know? You shouldn't have done something stupid in the first place! We give you the armband and you start acting like you're somebody?"
"Ugh! Seriously!"
Number Seven shouted, "Take all the insults you want, but at least get it right! Was this because I wore the armband? I couldn't help it!"
"What do you think you did to deserve the loudmouth act?"
"Why can't I be loud! Who worked as hard as I did? High Gear Creatures? I was fair to everyone! When the operator handed over that ridiculous draft, I ran the physics engine tens of thousands of times!"
If he could rewind time, he wanted to go back to before he'd met the operator.
"But what did that woman do to me? Meeting some weird guy and giggling, and that wasn't even—"
His voice cut off.
The vacant screen flickered, and a system message popped up on their displays.
- Administrator Operator has entered.
When the symbol representing High Gear blinked, Number Seven's heart dropped.
'Operator.'
The supreme architect, for whom High Gear had been everything.
"Number Seven."
The voice was cold.
"W-what?"
"Apologize."
"…I'm sorry."
Once the words were spat out, whatever Number Seven had clung to until the end crumbled.
"Sorry. I got so pissed watching you buddy up with that Yahweh that I wanted to smash everything. I'm like this, you know? Small-minded, a piece of trash who only thinks of himself."
The conference room fell silent.
"What I said before is true. I ruined everything. I have no right to be angry. Keep insulting me until you feel better. I'll accept whatever you say."
The Operator said, "This isn't something you can be that casual about. Do you know how much you hurt me?"
"I know. What do you want me to do? I'll do whatever you tell me. Say it. Honestly, I don't even know myself."
She paused to think, then said, "Let's meet once."
"What?"
"Meet outside. Same for the other administrators. Think of it as the first full meeting. I have something special to discuss."
The Lollipop mark brightened, "Wow! That'll be fun!"
The others fell silent; fear underlay their quiet.
"Um… that might be a bit—"
"If you can't come, you don't have to. There will be non-human people, and it'd be a problem if every administrator showed up. But Number Seven, you have to come. That's my condition."
Number Seven said in a trembling voice, "N-no."
"Is that how you want to put it? I heard you die if you don't get unanimous approval and show up."
"I'd rather die! What nerve do I have to meet you? No—I just don't want to."
"Is that so? Then the meeting's over. We'll say Number Seven couldn't be forgiven."
Number Seven choked up. "Hey! Come on, give me a break. The people outside are seriously scary. I'll do anything except that, okay?"
"I'll give you three seconds."
"Ah—"
Number Seven's whimpering continued.
Goldwheel headquarters.
Shirone opened his eyes in a bed in the recovery room.
A white ceiling came into view. Sitting up slowly, he saw over two hundred empty beds and no sign of Fermi.
'Marsha's not here either.'
The texture of the air he inhaled told him exactly where he was.
'I'm back.'
A day had probably passed, but what he'd experienced in High Gear felt enormous.
Still… it had been a night's dream.
'A delusion.'
As he was recalling the events of the outside world, the door opened and Fermi came in.
Shirone frowned.
'We took the same drugs, so why did she wake up first? Annoying.'
Fermi snorted. "Your expression is priceless. Why not pull the blanket up? I won't eat you. Come on—we need to settle accounts."
Sticking his tongue out at Fermi's back, Shirone slid off the bed and adjusted to the feel of his body.
"Marsha?" he asked.
"She woke up about four hours ago. Everyone else went out drinking. They won't be back tonight."
"Already drinking? Right now?"
"People live to give pleasure to their brains. Some live to save humanity, others live to drink." There was a barb in her words, but Shirone ignored it.
Fermi offered him a seat on the top floor of Goldwheel, a place Shirone had been a few times.
"Sit."
He knew what she meant by settling accounts.
"You made a deal with Uorin too, didn't you?"
Goldwheel had given full support in exchange for a share of what had been obtained in High Gear.
"I only take my portion of the information. How I use it is my freedom."
"Who's going to complain? I just asked if you made a deal with Uorin. Don't get touchy and start sulking."
Fermi twisted her lips.
'She just doesn't mesh with me.'
There had been reasons they'd clashed since school.
'Straightforward, and smart. She knows what information could shake me.'
It might be silly to call it payback for teasing in the recovery room, but she was exactly that kind of person.
'Anyway, looks like they'll settle properly. That's what deals are for.'
Fermi nodded.
"It's not the exact same ratio. Think about what the Empress can do for me."
"Hmm."
Fermi and Uorin both held enormous influence over the world.
'Pony has to deal with people like this for the crusade. Of course there's Mr. Lupist, but…'
From Shirone's point of view—fighting for humanity—every capable person was a potential trading partner.
"They went out into the outside world."
Having said it countless times in the world of voids, the explanation moved quickly.
By the time he finished, the smile had gone from Fermi's face.
"…So that's how it turned out."
After a long moment, Fermi spoke. "That's shocking."
Showing emotion meant her head was still crowded with thoughts.
"So in the end two kinds of universes are at odds. The god's universe and the human universe."
"It wasn't a war. It was total assimilation."
Fermi admitted it.
"Right from the start, a war wouldn't work. Their will acts on us as result. And to maintain that status, our universe becomes a multiverse."
"That makes sense. In short, all the universes are signals sent from the outside world—an infinite multiverse, all tunneling into the void."
"Because it's the same signal, your senses didn't disappear in High Gear; they worked the same way."
"That's right."
Fermi smoothed back her hair. "But is that possible? In High Gear's outside world you could easily be mistaken. In other words, your mind was treated as signal. To compute an infinite number of universes—everything—what kind of technology would that take?"
"The inversion of cause and effect."
"Exactly. Whether it's technically possible doesn't matter. Whatever we dream, whatever this universe strives to become, the final resulting product it reaches…"
Shirone pointed to the side. "In the negative universe, it's been there from the start."
"…A god?"
When Fermi fully grasped it in her mind, she could imagine God for the first time.
"What will you do now?"
There was no time to brood.
"You have to find out. The outside world. You felt it in High Gear—that's the key to Ultima."
A paradox born of the void-world: because it's a world of void, you can plant a seed.
"Right. My simultaneous event is currently in the Paras Kingdom. Once I get the king's approval, I'll explore an ancient ruin. They say it's a giant pyramid."
"So that's a place in the outside world that sent a signal. Are you sure? If your theory is right and God is a result, you couldn't win no matter how much you struggle."
"Not necessarily."
When Fermi narrowed her eyes, Shirone looked up.
"Gophin wanted to become a god with a mind. He sent Hexa into this universe. What does that mean?"
"…He fired it from the outside world."
"Exactly. He broke the flawless law of the god and sent a single mind. I don't know how, but my existence is proof. That's why I won't give up. If I can return from the outside world and speak of hope…"
It had been Yahweh.
"But for now we have to focus on what's necessary. The High Gear administrators will gather tomorrow. I plan to go too. With their help we'll mine the Apocalypse."
It was the stage Uorin had set.
"All right, that's settled. Empress too—let's not split friend and foe yet; just dig. Leave the admin matter to me. I'll plan the mining with the Parrot Mercenary Corps."
Fermi pushed back her chair and stood.
"Fermi."
"Yeah?"
When she turned, Shirone was still sitting with a serious look.
"What? More to say?"
"The lost memory—about the deal. I won't ask about the terms. But can't I at least know why you accepted it?"
Fermi gave a small, sharp smile. "Ah, you want to hear that? I said I'd tell you sooner or later. In the end the decision is yours…"
"I'll trust you."
The smile vanished. "I can't judge. So I have to rely on your judgment. If knowing why I made a deal even as I lost my memories could change things—what then? If I know, I can prepare. We now know secrets of the outside world. Considering everything, wouldn't it be better to judge with all that in mind? Even now, am I not allowed to know?"
Fermi walked to the door, still staring directly into Shirone's eyes. "No."
Her voice reached him before the door closed.
"Don't trust me, you idiot."