"You… you came here to die, didn't you? You wanted me to kill you."
Flint asked, his eyes still shaking. The man turned to him but didn't reply. He only stretched his lips into a thin smile.
A smile that felt too miserable to look at.
As Flint raised his head and saw the man's smile, the shaking of his eyes intensified. He clenched his fist and asked, choking on his words.
"W-why?"
The man's smile slowly disappeared.
"When my brother's heartbeat stopped, it felt like my world was falling apart. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. But more than anything, I wanted to kill the bastard who took my brother away from me! I wanted to rip him apart limb from limb!"
He clenched his jaw tightly enough that blood trickled down from the corners of his mouth.
"But I couldn't! The bastard was already dead and gone. I couldn't find any outlet for my fury. And then… you came to my mind. You must be feeling the same as me; you must want to kill me just as badly, at least that's what I thought. If killing me would bring you clarity and soothe your burning heart, I thought it would be good enough atonement."
"Though apparently, that wasn't the case, you didn't pick up the blade and blindly charge at me like I had expected you to. You tried to understand, you tried to reason, something I couldn't imagine myself ever doing. Seeing you made me realise that I was a monster through and through, violence was all I was capable of."
"Kid… it looks like your parents raised you well."
Flint's eyes had grown moist halfway through. Hearing the man's last words, he burst into tears as he ran.
Evangeline and the man were left alone, watching him run while desperately wiping his tears. The man turned away and looked up at the evening sky. There was a forlorn expression on his face.
"When I was about to cut down the kid that night, his mother protected him with her own life. There was no hesitation in her movements, no regret on her face, only the burning resolve to protect her child, no matter the cost."
She could feel a certain longing in his eyes.
"Seeing her love for that boy made me wonder. If my father and mother had been with me to this day, if I'd grown up under their care and affection, would I have turned out differently?"
Evangeline could not reply. She didn't have any words she could say to this man.
Standing silently, the man continued gazing at the evening sky.
***
After running without thinking, Flint sat down on an empty cart parked in an alley. His thoughts were chaotic, and his emotions were in turmoil.
'Why?'
He couldn't quite understand what he was thinking at this moment as his breaths turned shallow.
The surroundings appeared hazy and blurry as tears streamed down his cheeks. A few drops even entered his mouth, making him experience their bitter, salty taste on his tongue.
'Why?!'
Just then, he heard light footsteps and a slight movement on the cart. Someone just sat on the cart, right beside him. He turned to look at who the person was, but their figure also appeared hazy and blurry like his surroundings.
Moments later, a small hand gently touched his face and delicately wiped away his tears. His vision cleared, and he could finally see the person's face. It was the same girl who had saved and helped him.
Evangeline
Flint couldn't understand. Why was she even helping him? He hadn't done anything for her until now, nor did he have anything to repay her with.
He didn't even know her.
Yet from the moment he came to his senses, she had shown him nothing but goodwill. Why?
"Flint, there is something on your mind, right? You can tell me. No need to bottle it up inside."
Her gentle voice entered his ears, soft and warm. It made him want to spill his heart out as he opened his mouth.
"Why… Why couldn't he just be a bad person? Why did he have to… Ugh. And if he wasn't a bad person, then why did he have to kill my mother and father?!"
Flint couldn't properly hate that man anymore. Not only because he could understand the man's pain, but also because the man's younger brother was very similar to him. After all, Flint, too, had been infatuated with swords and battles.
'Would I… have also ended up like that person?'
He suddenly remembered the last conversation he had with his father. He finally understood what his father had meant back then.
Maybe his parents had been afraid of such a future; maybe that was why they kept him away from any related news.
More than anything, Flint couldn't stand the words the man had spoken by the end. Hearing it caused a piercing ache in his chest.
Flint wasn't any different from that man; he also hated that man and was, in a way, using that hatred as fuel to go on. The only reason he didn't pick up the sword and rush forward was that… he couldn't imagine himself taking revenge against that man.
Not now, not after growing up, not ever.
All that awaited him at the end was his death; Flint knew that fact well. And he couldn't die, he had to live, for the sake of his father and mother.
The man may have said it as provocation, but he felt that those words couldn't be more true.
Flint was, in essence, a coward.
He gritted his teeth as he spat out his innermost feelings.
"Why couldn't he just be a bad person and let me hate him for everything?!"
More than anything, he wanted that man to be evil; he wanted that man to be despicable. Flint didn't want to understand him. So what if the man had a reason for his actions?
The girl smiled softly as she turned her gaze forward, looking at the busy street filled with people. Her eyes observed the passing strangers with a strange, reminiscent look.
"Why? Because people are inherently kind, it's the circumstances that force them to commit evil."
On the streets, a little boy ran forward with a wide smile, but suddenly tripped and fell, hurting his knee.
"When you trip and fall while walking on the streets, many people will come and help you to your feet—"
An old lady hurriedly approached the little boy, pulling him to his feet, and began blowing on the small wound on his knee.
"—People whom you'll probably never meet again in your entire life. They help a stranger without expecting anything in return. This is the greatest proof of human kindness."
The girl turned to him; her eyes were downcast, and the corners of her lips hung low.
"But circumstances force them into a situation where they don't have the option to be kind. Responsibility, grief, rage, misunderstandings–all cause people to lose their way. In the end, doesn't everyone just want to live a happy life?"
At this moment, her expression looked unusually mature. Flint couldn't help but stare blankly at it as her face was imprinted deeply in his mind.
He knew… that he would not be able to forget it for a long, long time.
"You can hate that person; you have every right to. Because no matter the circumstances, he is the one who took the lives of your parents, he's the one destroyed your family. But Flint, you're very young, you have a life ahead of you. I don't want you to burn yourself up with hatred and ruin your future."
Her words echoed in his mind; they reminded him of something similar he'd heard in the past. He suddenly heard his father's voice from the depths of his heart.
'Perhaps that is why I want you to enjoy your childhood, I don't want you to experience that feeling, son.'
"Ah…"
That voice created a ripple in his heart, making the ache in his chest slowly fade. All his complicated thoughts, all the turmoil in his mind, everything slowly calmed down.
He wiped away his tears and put both his hands on his chest, wanting to preserve the warmth he felt after remembering his voice.
Finally, Flint understood what he needed to do.
***
A soft smile stretched across Evangeline's face as she observed Flint's expression.
'Looks like he has reached some sort of conclusion. And from the looks of it, it's a good one.'
Flint was only about ten years old, a child by all standards. Seeing the young boy struggle with something so complex left a bitter taste in her mouth. He had to suffer both physically and mentally, struggling to find answers to things even adults would've failed to answer.
Still smiling, she pulled out her pouch filled with silver coins and quietly attached it to his clothes, being careful so that he didn't notice.
After successfully pulling that off, she stood up and left with quiet steps.
'I need to give him time to sort out his thoughts.'
She looked up.
The entire landscape was bathed in the amber glow of the setting sun as half of it had disappeared beyond the horizon.
'Uh?'
Suddenly, Evangeline had a strange feeling. A feeling as though she was forgetting something. She tried her best to search through her memory, but she couldn't remember it no matter how hard she tried.
'Ah, well, whatever. I'll just wait until I remember it. After all, how important could it even be?'
She shook away that strange feeling, although it still lingered slightly. She walked briskly, enjoying the surroundings. She looked at the streets, observed the people, and admired the buildings.
But in the middle of her carefree stroll, someone grabbed her shoulder from behind, panting heavily as he spoke.
"Haah… Haah… finally found you."
She turned around to look at the person who had approached her, her heart almost leapt out of her chest.
It was one of the servants who worked in the mansion, the same one she had sent to clean up her mess.
Evangeline finally remembered what she had been forgetting.
'Ah, I'm done for.'