SF Chapter 54: Sitcom Family II
Everyone was sitting in the living room connected to the kitchen.
Phil was talking animatedly with Ross, while his wife stood beside him. Judy and Jack were seated nearby.
Joey was at the dining table, eating a large sandwich.
"Whoa, and to think I saw you two when you were toddlers here," Monica commented, looking at Haley and Alex.
They were standing by the kitchen counter.
"Eleven years ago. Time flies," Claire said a little wistfully, running her hands through her daughters' hair.
Alex pulled away, while Haley whined, "Mom, you're going to mess up my hair."
Claire deadpanned, "I miss those days," making a face as she watched her daughters reject her affection.
Then she ran her hand over her brother's head, the only one who even made the effort to bend down slightly so she could continue.
"Wow, is that your boyfriend, Monica?" Haley asked, gesturing with her head toward Joey. "He is handsome."
"Joey? No. He's just a friend - and my neighbor who lives in the apartment across from mine."
"Huh," Haley gave him another look.
"Haley, you have a boyfriend, and he's too old for you," her mother quickly admonished her.
"I did nothing, mom."
A moment later, Luke appeared in the kitchen.
"Luke, come here," Claire called.
He walked over, and his mother placed her hand on his head. "This is Luke, my youngest. He's ten years old. I think you only saw him when he was a baby."
"Whoa, who are all these people?" Luke looked around the house, not recognizing anyone.
"They're all family from your grandmother's side. Aunt Judy is your grandmother's sister," Claire explained partially. "Go say hello over there." She gave him a light push on the back.
"Well, Claire, do you need any help in the kitchen?" Monica offered.
"Oh, sweetheart, that's not necessary-"
But Haley cut Claire off. "Mom, we want to see how a professional cook works."
Nearby, Luke blurted out, "Oh, you're Judy? Grandma told me you don't like her."
Hearing that, Claire immediately spun toward him. "Luke!"
Alex leaned closer to her uncle. "Did you pay him to say that, Dani?"
"Why would I even do that, my lovable niece?" he smirked.
[Monica commentary]
"Being in this house brings back great memories," Monica commented, sitting on the Dunphys' couch.
"I lived here for about two months. I was thirteen at the time," she continued. "I'm a little envious of them for having Claire as a mother - or as a sister."
"Oh, and I remember losing weight during those two months here. Claire was incredible... but about her cooking..." Monica didn't finish the sentence.
[Commentary ends]
After a while of talking, Judy approached the kitchen. "Monica, we're going to visit your cousin Lisa, and then we'll head to the hotel."
"Okay, Mom. I'll see Lisa another time. I'll be staying here for a week," Monica replied.
She had just finished making coffee, buttered toast, and a tray of warm blueberry muffins but didn't complain. She might have even felt a bit relieved for not hearing any criticism from her mother.
Or so she thought.
"Monica, it's a little burnt on the bottom," her mother commented, pointing to the darker, overcooked part.
"I think it's delicious," Daniel said, taking a bite of the muffin.
She smiled. "Thanks, Dani."
Joey stayed as well, mostly because of the food. He would still be sleeping at the hotel too, awkwardly sharing space with Ross and Carol.
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That night, the group went to Evelyn's house, where the family dinner was going to take place.
"Dude, you have a Porsche!" Joey exclaimed excitedly from the back seat, leaning forward against the front seat.
"Joey, put your seatbelt on," Monica scolded. "This reminds me of my dad's car... but way newer," she added, admiring the sports car.
"Oh yeah, Uncle Jack has a 1985 Porsche 911 Carrera Targa," Daniel recalled, driving calmly. "Classic."
"This one is the 2003 911 Turbo," he added casually.
He changed the subject. "So, Monica, you're staying here for a week, right? And what about you, Joey?"
"Yes, I'm staying until next Thursday, at your sister's house," Monica confirmed.
"I'm staying until Wednesday," Joey answered this time. "My agent got me an audition on Tuesday," he revealed.
Daniel commented, "Huh, I might go with you to NY, Monica."
"The day after tomorrow is the main premiere, and then there's a smaller one with some of the lead actresses in New York," he added, already maneuvering the car into a parking spot.
They waited for a moment until another car pulled up beside them. The entire Dunphy family stepped out, and everyone headed toward the door.
Alan and Jake were standing beside Evelyn, already waiting outside, and they went to greet the Dunphys first, while Daniel, Monica, and Joey headed toward his mom.
"Oh, here's my lovable son," Evelyn said, pulling Daniel into a hug.
Daniel let out a light ironic laugh. "Are you drunk, Mom? Or are you rehearsing for tomorrow? For the cameras?" he joked.
"Let's not beat it to death, huh, Daniel," Evelyn replied, quickly returning to her usual poised smile.
"I brought good wine," he showed the two bottles in his hands.
"Romanée-Conti," she read the label. "At least you learned something from me."
But then she glanced at the beautiful brunette standing beside him.
"And who might this be? Did you finally end your depraved phase and bring a girlfriend home to introduce to Mommy?" she asked, turning to her son while still holding Monica's hands.
"I wish," he replied, unfazed. "I proposed to her, but she rejected me."
Monica let out a light chuckle. "It's good to see you again, Aunt Evelyn."
"Aunt?" She took a good look at the young woman and was genuinely surprised. "Monica? Judy's daughter?"
"Wow, time has been good to you, sweetheart," she gave a rare compliment.
A moment later, Charlie stepped out of the house. "Hey, the name's Charlie," he greeted, giving Monica his usual smirk.
But his mother quickly cut him off. "She's your cousin Monica, Charles. Do we need to go through this again?" she remarked a little dryly.
Claire, who was standing nearby, heard what she had said and gave a nervous smile. "Hi, Aunt Evelyn." She gently pulled Monica along.
"We're going to put the food we made on the table." And the two of them went inside the house.
Evelyn went to greet the rest of the family. Charlie murmured to his brother, "Is she that chubby girl?"
"Yep," Daniel nodded.
"Charlie," he shook the hand of the one who had stayed behind as well.
"Joey."
And the trio, who could practically be considered VIP clients of the condom industry, were soon joined by a fourth - one who, if more people were like him, could drive the industry into bankruptcy.
"Alan," he said with a small smile. "And wow, puberty was very kind to our cousin."
"Unfortunately, that was not the case for you," Charlie mocked, patting his brother on the back and receiving a glare in return.
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