SF Chapter 120: Superbad Premiere IV
After the dick-drawings scene, a few more funny moments played out.
Finally, it reached what would become the most iconic part of the movie. On screen, Seth was complaining to Evan.
"What do we tell the girls? That we couldn't do the one thing we promised because we're dickless incompetents?"
"Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell. How'd he get into Dartmouth? I don't get it. He's got shit for brains," Seth scoffed.
Evan kept his usual unfazed expression. "Alright, how else can we get alcohol?"
Then Fogell showed up. "Yo, guys! What's up?"
Seth made an angry face. "Fogell, where have you been, man?"
"Let me see it. Did you pussy out?" he added, asking to see the fake ID.
"No, no, man. I got it," Fogell said. "It's flawless. Check it." He handed it to Evan.
"Hawaii?" Evan read the ID, but quickly dismissed it. "Alright, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess."
But soon he noticed a major problem. "Wait, you changed your name to McLovin?"
"Yeah." Fogell flashed a dumb smile.
"McLovin?" Seth's eyes nearly popped out. "What kind of a stupid name is that? Are you an Irish R&B singer?"
Fogell explained, "They let you pick any name you want when you're there."
"And you landed on McLovin?"
"Yeah, it was between that or Mohammad."
Seth yelled, "Why the fuck would it be between that or Mohammad? Why not just pick a common name?"
"Mohammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book," Fogell scoffed.
In the theater, Sheldon nodded. "It is correct," he said, earning a not-very-polite request for silence from his friends.
On screen, Seth and Fogell kept going back and forth.
"Have you ever met anyone named Mohammad?"
"Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?"
"No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name."
"Fuck you."
"Give me that." Seth grabbed the ID. "Alright. Number one, you look like a future pedophile in this picture. Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin!"
"What? One name?" Evan said in disbelief. "One name? Who are you, Seal?"
The movie continued, with the entire theater laughing at the interaction, until the end of the scene, when Fogell made the dumbest face possible and declared: "I am McLovin."
Triggering even more laughter.
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After the movie ended, there was a lot of applause. Some people were giving it a standing ovation, while others were muttering, "What did I just watch?"
But one thing was certain: people had laughed a lot, even if some of them would deny it later.
[Evelyn Harper commentary]
The Harper matriarch was the first to leave the theater, almost before the movie had even ended.
She gave her opinion. "Disgusting. Juvenile. Completely inappropriate."
Evelyn paused as she watched the audience applaud.
"It's going to make a fortune. The masses will love it. My son is a genius."
[Cam and Mitchell commentary]
"I was offended, shocked, and emotionally invested. Which means, apparently, I loved it!" Cam commented as he sat back down in a seat at the front of the theater.
Mitchell glanced at him from the corner of his eye with a judgmental look. "Cam was laughing so hard he was practically in tears."
Then he gave his own opinion about the film. "I mean, it's crude. Deeply crude. But structurally... some of the jokes are actually very well built," he said, trying to sound sophisticated.
Cam shouted back, "You even choked for a second there, Mitchell."
[Lindsay Lohan commentary]
Lindsay, who had been laughing through almost the entire movie, spoke with clear amazement. "That was insane. Like... actually insane. Dani wrote that like with absolutely no filter at all."
"But people are gonna talk about it. I don't remember ever seeing a theater laugh that hard."
"I think he hit big again!" Lindsay said honestly.
[Amanda Seyfried commentary]
The young blonde actress smiled. "I think this is what happens when his brain is allowed to write without adult supervision," she joked.
"I sent him a message," Amanda said as she picked up her phone and read what she had written.
"Dani-Bro, that was disturbing. Especially the part with the girl menstruating on Seth's leg. Mad Respect."
But at the end, Amanda's expression turned slightly anxious. "The next movie is mine, Easy A. I just hope the reaction is just as good as it was here."
[Hilary Duff commentary]
The teenage actress came away half shocked, half laughing, and half worried about her own image for having liked it.
"I feel like I shouldn't say I liked it... but I kind of loved it," Hilary spoke with a conflicted expression.
"Mean Girls and Superbad. Dani is incredibly talented," she praised, but then muttered, "but he is completely messed up in the head."
"Well, I still have his IOU gift..." she chuckled.
[Dani, Lexi, Mischa and Penny commentary]
The quartet was still sitting in their theater seats.
Lexi was the first to speak. "Congratulations, Dani. You made an entire theater laugh at the dumbest things imaginable."
She paused. "That's actually impressive."
Penny was next, giving her friend a tight hug. "That was so stupid. I loved it!"
"I don't know what worries me more: that you wrote all of that, or that it worked," Mischa said, making a face at him.
Daniel simply shrugged.
[Gloria and Jay commentary]
"Dani is very talented, but ay, Dios mío, these boys are disgusting. Manny will not watch this movie until he is thirty," Gloria said loudly, making a disapproving face.
Jay simply shrugged. "Well, now it's just a matter of waiting until next week to see how the public reacts," he commented, referring to the official release and the box office.
Jay was not as anxious as he had been with Mean Girls, since the company was in a comfortable financial position even if the movie did not make as much money.
[Friends commentary]
Monica sat with her arms crossed, still trying to process what she had watched.
"I'm proud of Dani," she began carefully. "I am. He wrote a movie, people loved it, the theater was laughing hard..."
She paused. "But did it really need to be that vulgar?"
"That was not vulgar, that was realistic," Chandler corrected. "The only unrealistic part was the chubby guy getting the hottest girl in the movie."
"I thought it was incredible funny," Joey commented simply.
Rachel was still trying to form an opinion, while Ross looked to the side and asked, "Where did Phoebe go again?"
[Claire and Phil commentary]
"It was the funniest movie ever. Of all time. Period," Phil said excitedly. "I'm McLovin!" he repeated, quoting Fogell.
"I'm totally buying a shirt with that phrase," he added enthusiastically.
Claire stared at him for a moment before looking forward again. "Luke will not watch this movie," she stated.
[Commentary ends]
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After the movie ended, there was a cocktail party, as was customary.
Dani stayed for a while, met and talked with the main actors and some executives who were present, and shortly afterward headed to his brother's house in Malibu.
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