A month passed without me really noticing it happen.
College stopped feeling new.
It just became… routine.
Wake up.
Go to class.
Come back.
Repeat.
Chloe and I still shared a room, but we barely overlapped. She was always out—clubs, group projects, dinners, random plans that appeared out of nowhere. When she was in the room, she was usually half-preparing to leave again.
We talked sometimes.
Short conversations.
Nothing deep.
And I still didn't really have friends the way other people seemed to.
Lily texted less often now too. We were both busy in different ways, and our conversations had slowly turned into quick updates instead of real talks.
Ryan still sent reels.
I still didn't open them.
That part of my life had become something I just… looked past.
But there was one thing I couldn't seem to ignore.
Ethan.
I didn't see him often.
Not really.
But college wasn't that big, and somehow I kept noticing him in places I didn't expect.
The cafeteria.
Outside the library.
Near the student center.
And every time, it was the same thing.
He was never alone.
Always with different girls.
Sometimes laughing.
Sometimes walking with them.
Sometimes just standing and talking like it was the easiest thing in the world.
At first, I told myself it was normal.
Of course he was making friends.
That's what people did.
That's what Chloe did.
That's what everyone did except me.
But after a while, I started noticing it more.
The way he seemed comfortable talking to people so easily.
The way he always looked relaxed, like he belonged wherever he was standing.
And every time I saw him, something small and sharp would tug at my chest.
It wasn't strong.
Not dramatic.
Just… a sting.
A quick, quiet feeling I didn't know what to do with.
I didn't even understand it.
Because I didn't like him.
Not like that.
He was my roommate for a week. That was it.
A temporary situation.
Nothing more.
So why did it bother me when I saw him laughing with someone else?
Why did I suddenly become aware of how invisible I felt in comparison?
One afternoon, I was sitting outside the library after class, scrolling on my phone just to pass time before going back to the dorm.
That's when I saw him again.
Ethan.
He was standing a short distance away under a tree, talking to two girls.
They were laughing at something he said, and one of them lightly tapped his arm while smiling.
He looked completely at ease.
Like he had always been like this.
I froze for a second without meaning to.
Then I quickly looked back down at my phone.
My heart did that same small, annoying pull again.
I frowned slightly at myself.
Why do I care?
It wasn't jealousy.
It couldn't be.
There was nothing to be jealous of.
He wasn't mine.
We weren't even friends anymore.
Just ex-roommates.
Still, I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting back up for a second.
They were still talking.
Still laughing.
I looked away faster this time and stood up from the bench.
My legs moved before I fully decided to leave.
I walked back toward the dorm with my hoodie pulled tighter than usual, ignoring the noise of campus around me.
By the time I reached my room, Chloe was already gone again.
Of course she was.
I sat on my bed and dropped my bag beside me.
The room was quiet.
Too quiet.
I pulled out my phone, staring at it for a moment.
Ryan's chat was still there.
Unread reels stacked like always.
I didn't open them.
Instead, I locked the screen and placed it face down.
Then I leaned back slowly and stared at the ceiling.
It wasn't like anything was wrong.
Nothing had happened.
Ethan was just living his life.
I was just noticing things I shouldn't be noticing.
That was all.
Still…
I couldn't explain why it kept feeling like something was shifting inside me every time I saw him smiling with someone else.
And I hated that I didn't understand it.