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"I'm sorry it's too late… but I'm afraid the cancer has already spread to several parts of your body. If it had been detected earlier I could give you a clearer idea of what your life would look like, but now… with this… you need to begin treatment as soon as possible if you want a chance to survive" the doctor said looking at me without emotion while he licked his lips before finishing the sentence.
"So stage four cancer huh… guess karma finally caught up with me… all those preventive checkups were useless" I said shaking my head while rolling my shoulders.
"Yes I'm afraid so. The doctor who ran those tests likely failed to interpret the results correctly or simply overlooked them. I strongly recommend scheduling chemotherapy as soon as possible" the doctor said with a faint smile while reviewing the scans and test results.
"Yeah I'll deal with it soon" I said mentally disconnecting from the news.
"Not soon. Immediately. If you delay your death will be inevitable" the doctor said staring at me sternly.
"Save the lectures for someone you can actually scare" I said as I stood up and stretched.
The doctor simply shook his head while I walked out of his office.
"Turns out it wasn't age after all… just fucking cancer everywhere in my body" I muttered after sighing and yawning.
I walked through the hospital hallway before heading outside.
"So that's the reason you've been falling asleep everywhere" Martin said while smoking a cigarette before crushing it against the wall.
"Well… now I know why I kept nodding off" I said while pulling out my wallet to see how much cash I had.
"So what is it? Low vitamins? Age? Because we've got two months before the contract drags us back to Ukraine and I plan to enjoy my money while I'm still here" he said tossing the cigarette butt onto the ground and stretching his arms.
"Stop talking and give me a cigarette" I said as I started walking.
"You… don't smoke" he said while pulling out his pack and holding it in front of my face.
I grabbed one quickly and lit it with the flame he offered.
I took a drag and nearly choked immediately, coughing while holding the cigarette.
"You don't even know how to smoke… cancer?" he asked making a face.
"Yeah cancer… fucking hell… cancer everywhere. I spent all that money on medical checkups and those incompetent idiots still missed it" I said throwing the cigarette down and crushing it under my boot.
"Cold hypothermia heat bullets shrapnel artillery drones… you survived all that just to get taken out by cancer. What about treatment? Is it already too late?" Martin asked while putting away his lighter and cigarettes.
"Yeah but screw that… losing my hair, shitting myself, feeling like garbage all day while fighting this damn disease… I'd rather run straight into Russian fire" I said irritably.
"They won't let you go back once they see your medical record. Doesn't matter how good you are with a sniper rifle, you'll just become a liability" Martin said while cleaning one of his nostrils with his thumb.
"So that's it then. All those years saving money to retire early just for some bullshit disease to end everything" I said continuing down the street.
"Got your will ready or are you leaving everything to that kid?" Martin asked walking beside me with a slight smile.
I stopped suddenly and looked at him raising an eyebrow.
"That's not my son. Just because that crazy woman insists he is doesn't make it true. The DNA test made that pretty clear. If it wasn't obvious that a black kid doesn't come from a white guy and a brunette woman I don't know what else to tell you… unlike you I don't have a trail of unrecognized bastards everywhere I've deployed" I said shaking my head.
"So who gets the jackpot then?" Martin asked.
"You definitely don't. You'd burn through it in a month with your trash spending habits. My nephew gets it. I'm not letting my brother walk away with everything through intestate inheritance" I said adjusting my jacket.
"So how long do you have? We could still have some fun while you've got strength left before you start shitting yourself and wearing diapers" Martin said with a wide grin.
"No idea. The German doctor was too scared to tell me how much time I've got left. Maybe it's just me but people seem more and more afraid of telling things the way they really are" I grumbled.
"Bah… you got used to the Germans we worked with in Afghanistan. Compared to them the Germans here look like little girls. Last week one of those refugees pulled a knife on a woman and everyone just stood there watching while she screamed. I had to get my hands dirty and knock that poor victim of society's teeth out" Martin said with a crooked smirk.
"Pff… that why you spent a day in jail?" I said turning my head toward him.
"So what? I'm not going to stand there while someone's about to get raped. I did what anyone back home would've done, beat the shit out of him with the whole neighborhood helping. Only alone and the Polizei grabbed me before I could strip him naked and tie him to a pole haha" he said laughing while remembering the fight.
"Well I'm heading home to sort everything out. Once my medical report goes through they won't let me return to the front anyway" I said as I climbed onto public transport.
"Well let me know if you need anything. If you need help remember I'm here… at least until I head back to the front. By then I'll probably have zero euros left in my account anyway" Martin said laughing while I boarded the bus.
I headed back to the place where I was staying. I never liked cities. I was living in a small holiday hostel run by a family far away from the noise of the city and especially far from its problems. Unlike Martin I hated being in Berlin. Things were getting too crazy there for my taste.
After cleaning my boots, I walked into the place where I was staying. The smell of something freshly baked hit me immediately.
"Young man, would you like a slice of Apfelkuchen?" the grandmother of the family asked, looking at me with those warm, affectionate eyes.
"No thank you… I really appreciate it… but I'm fine" I said with a small smile, lowering my head and placing my hand behind my neck while fixing my hair.
"Oh come on… don't you want a piece? I can add whipped cream if you like" she said, smiling at me while peering over her glasses.
"No, really, thank you… I'm not hungry, but I'm very grateful for your hospitality" I said with a faint smile.
Out of nowhere, the grandmother grabbed my cheek and shook it firmly while making a loud affectionate sound that echoed through the room.
"You Latinos are so polite, not like those gangs of rapists who claim to be refugees" she said with a smile as she walked back into the kitchen.
After sighing and watching her return to the kitchen, I went to my room where I had been staying for the last few weeks. Usually, this was already the second time I stayed here, since it was close to the place where we had to gather before returning to the front when our rotation ended.
Only now, I doubted I would be able to go back.
I sat there staring at my phone, looking through personal documents, replaying my life in my head.
I was born in Chile, in a family with separated parents. But the one thing that defined my life was poverty. A family with barely any resources, an alcoholic father, a mother who had started a new life with another man and who seemed to remember she only had two children instead of three.
The only thing that made that life bearable was the affection of my grandmother, who helped constantly with my education and even helped my father recover from alcoholism.
Maybe because of those circumstances, I always liked studying. It felt like the only way to escape the place where I had been born.
Even with all my effort, excellent grades and a few scholarships, it still wasn't enough to pay for university. The only option left was a government loan that would force me to repay six times what I borrowed once I graduated.
So in the end, I followed the family trade. I became a soldier, joining the army right after finishing high school. I entered programs that allowed me to study while serving and eventually managed to complete two university degrees while continuing my military career.
Then one day, through the recommendation of one of my grandmother's brothers, who were army officers, I entered the special forces of my country. Two years of brutal training just to join the unit, followed by sniper school.
For ten years I served in the army until I was dishonorably discharged.
I refused to obey an order from a superior officer who wanted to send young conscripts on a march in subzero temperatures during a joint training exercise. They didn't even have proper equipment. When I refused to take part, they discharged me for insubordination.
Later I found out that a group of those soldiers got lost in the mountains and were found frozen to death by the same officer who had kicked me out.
Luckily, I had two university degrees, industrial engineering and agricultural engineering, so I quickly found work. But I soon realized it wasn't for me. I hated maintaining machinery for a salary that barely paid anything.
One day, I received a message from a recruiter working for a mercenary agency looking for bilingual men with military experience.
Bored with my job and tempted by the large paycheck, I accepted. Soon I was working for American contractors operating as mercenaries in Afghanistan.
I spent seven years there, serving as a shooter and protecting American installations.
Uncle Sam paid very well and I saved every paycheck religiously, waiting for the day I could retire… preferably with all my limbs still attached.
Eventually, Uncle Sam decided to abandon Afghanistan. My mercenary work continued, but I had no desire to keep roasting under the desert heat while dealing with endless cultural and language barriers with the locals.
More than once, I ended up in sniper duels with insurgents, lying motionless for hours waiting for the right moment to fire because someone somewhere had decided they were angry that day.
So I finished my contract with those contractors and walked away.
For a while, I considered joining the French Foreign Legion, but it was basically the same life.
Then the war in Ukraine exploded and I signed up as a mercenary, offering my services as a sniper for a very generous paycheck subsidized by Uncle Sam.
The only difference was that sometimes the Ukrainians didn't pay.
Once, we captured several Russian tanks and they refused to pay us the bonus, claiming that Ukrainian troops had captured them and not the international volunteers. Hundreds of thousands of dollars disappeared thanks to a corrupt Ukrainian officer.
During that war, I spent far too much time ending the lives of Russian soldiers. I fought in several defensive battles and took everything the battlefield could throw at me. Artillery, drones, grenades.
The fact that I was still in one piece was a miracle.
And yet here I was.
Cancer.
More than a decade living on the edge… and I ended up with cancer.
Every dream shattered. I only needed one more deployment before retiring.
Just one more.
Who knew when I would start turning into a burden… a sack of meat that needed help with everything while doctors tried to drain the last bit of money I had left.
So the decision many people expect to make one day came easily.
I opened the safety of my rifle case and pulled out my AXMC .338, placing a single round into the magazine.
I wrote my final words and left an envelope with every euro I had in cash for that kind family before walking out into the countryside while watching the sunset.
When darkness began to fall, I took off my boots and socks and placed the rifle into my mouth, making sure it was positioned perfectly to destroy my brain. Using the big toe of my foot, I pressed it against the trigger.
I pushed down hard with my foot.....And in an instant everything went dark.
In a blink there was only darkness.....In the next blink I opened my eyes and heard shouting everywhere.
"Krieg… Krieg… Krieg" a group of men were yelling at the top of their lungs in German.
There were crowds of people boarding a train while others said their farewells.
I was sitting inside a train.
I looked at my hands. I was wearing gloves. I also noticed I had a hat on.
"Auf nach Moskau!" someone shouted beside me.
"What the hell" I muttered while looking around.