For a moment—just a moment—-everything was warm.
The faint smell of spices. Oil crackling in the pan. Her mother's voice somewhere in the background. Her father laughing, low and tired. Her brother teasing and running away.
"Garima, wake up, you'll be late—"
She turned.
"I am up—-"
The bed was cold. She waited for the dream to dissolve.
She opened her eyes facing the wall. The room was dark and still. The curtains held back the morning light.
Garima lay still. She didn't move for a long moment.
They are fine, she told herself. Time is not moving there. They are exactly where you left them.
She knew this. She believed it. Like the way you believe something written in a textbook. Correctly, and without feeling.
She turned onto her back and looked at the ceiling. Her hand found the artifact in the fold of her robe, where she had taken to keeping it always. She could call Cosmo. But she didn't.
She put the artifact back.
Not today. Some things you had to sit with yourself first. Her father had told her once. Har baat ka jawab bahar nahi milta…kuch cheezein pehle khud ke saath baith kar samajhni padti hai.
She felt her heart ache. It was nothing grand. Just mundane things. Her mother's nagging. Food. Watching a movie with her brother. Or trimming her father's hair.
She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth.
Then she got up, washed her face with cold water, and went out.
She walked aimlessly until she reached the inner hall. The corridor smelled of faint incense and baking.
She followed it. Then she heard their voices before she saw them. Priest Hill and Priestess Agatha. They were not arguing but not agreeing either.
Garima stepped forward. "Your Holiness,"
Priest Hill said, smiling.
Priestess Agatha didn't.
"Good morning" Garima said "What are you two doing?"
"We were talking" Agatha said "About yesterday"
Garima stopped. "The palace?"
"You provoked the king" Agatha said "This is not something a Saintess should do"
"Then what should a Saintess do?" Garima asked, her gaze didn't waver.
Agatha didn't answer immediately. She looked at Garima.
"A Saintess should be careful." She said, "With herself and with people around her"
"I was careful"
"You were effective" Agatha said "that's not the same thing"
"That is just one version of events, the other is that" Garima said after a moment. "I got the king to cooperate willingly. I showed him that there are things far more powerful than him"
"And the version after that?" Agatha continued "Is that Dylan stood in front of his king with his sword drawn. Ava, that child stood as a shield in front of you. Those children of Viscount Rabban, risked everything they came from" she paused "For someone they had known less than a week"
Garima didn't deflect those words."I know"
"Do you?"
"I know" Garima looked at her "I know, I am telling you I know"
Agatha studied her.
"Did you do it knowingly?"
Garima held her gaze. "No"
"Really?"
Garima didn't answer immediately. For a fraction of a second-barely visible- her fingers tightened against her sleeve.
"I didn't think that far"
"That is what worries me," Agatha said.
Priest Hill cleared his throat
"Your Holiness"
Garima turned "what you did was reckless" he said with no accusation. Just a fact.
Garima sighed "I know"
"But not without purpose"
He glanced at Agatha and she said nothing.
"The outcome was complicated….but not disastrous"
"Are you reassuring her?" garima asked. "or yourself?"
"Both,perhaps," he smiled. But it didn't reach his eyes.
"You remind me of someone" he said and looked at Agatha.
Agatha remained quiet. Looking at the wall to Garima's left.
"Who?" Garima asked.
"Someone who also walked into rooms and rearranged everything without asking" Priest Hill said "Someone who was also very certain that the outcome justified the method"
"Was she right?" Garima asked carefully.
Agatha looked at Hill. Then at her. "Sometimes" she said "Sometimes people get hurt. Who didn't deserve it. She carried the guilt for a long time" she paused "she is still carrying it"
The silence that followed was heavier. She didn't need to ask who it was. She knew it instinctively.
"I am not her," Garima said.
"Good," she said, and looked away.
"But if I do it again?" Garima asked.
"Then I will tell you again" she said "as many times necessary"
"As for I trust you, without condition," Priest Hill said.
Garima looked away for a moment. "Why?"
"Because you gave me a purpose"
"Purpose?"
"Yes, you see your Holiness, our family had been serving his shrine for generations"
"I heard about that"
"We didn't have anyone to worship. We just followed a figure called the Saintess, but we had immense belief"
Garima looked at him.
"But sometimes we thought this belief was misplaced, then suddenly a tablet appeared. Along with a girl who brought faith and belief"
"That's the reason."
"I am grateful, because that meant my family's dedication was not just blind faith, it had meaning, so I trust you"
Garima looked at him. She thought about the tablet, the prophecy Cosmo had constructed. The story they had built out of convenience and necessity. His ancestors had a thousand years of faith. And her four days of scheming. She said nothing.
A moment passed. "And yet" Agatha said quietly "People who stood by you yesterday were afraid"
Garima could understand exactly what was happening. Carrot from Hill. Stick from Agatha. Clean and effective.
She saw it clearly. So she let them have it. Some things work better when you pretend not to notice.
She nodded "you are right, I won't do it again"
"Your Holiness, can you please let us know before doing something like this" Priest Hill said.
"I will"
"You almost fainted and passed away. Are you going to hide it from her?" Agatha asked Hill.
"Is it my fault?" Garima asked, shocked.
"Yes, it happened because of you," Agatha said.
Priest Hill just looked at her sympathetically.
She looked at him. At the handsome old face. She thought, briefly and without meaning, about her maternal grandfather. Low laugh. Tired eyes. White hair.
"Okay, okay this won't repeat in the future," Garima promised.
"Yes, your Holiness" Hill accepted immediately. As if it was enough.
Agatha didn't speak. Which was not the same as agreement.
She just watched.
"Okay breakfast?" Garima asked "I am hungry"
No one objected.
Ava was already seated in the dining hall, talking with the other priest and priestesses.
She smiled when Garima entered along with Agatha and Hill. And greeted them
Garima sat down and greeted the other.
Ava smiled, too quickly, too bright.
"Don't do that" Garima said
"Do what, Your Holiness" Ava blinked.
"That flattering smile"
Silence.
"You were afraid yesterday" Garima said gently. "You are allowed to still be"
Ava's expression flickered. "I—no—I." She stopped. She couldn't deny it.
"Ava," Garima said "it's okay to be afraid"
"..yes" She said.
Garima nodded. She didn't fix it. Just let it exist.
Dylan arrived a few minutes later. Sat and served himself.
Didn't look at her. Not avoidance. Not exactly.
Something…unsure. Shy ? Garima watched him for a second. Then looked away. Let him have this distance. For now.
She gulped down the food. And stood up.
She quickly said goodbye stating she had an appointment with Scholar Lawrance.
She walked towards the courtyard. A young priest ran towards her, breathless.
"Your Holiness—Guildlearder Rowan Voss…he is asking for a meeting with you"
"Oh."
The boy hesitated
"He is already in the council hall"
"So, impatient!"