Asahi was very bored.
Ever since the maid from Takama-ga-hara left, his quality of life had significantly declined. He felt that even the milk in his bottle didn't smell as good anymore.
To show how much importance they placed on Asahi , the Uchiha quickly assigned him to the lineage of Uchiha Fudai and solemnly entrusted him to the Clan Leader, Uchiha Fugaku, to be raised. They even instructed Fugaku to temporarily stop going on missions and not worry about the Police Force, focusing entirely on caring for the child at home.
However, none of that was important.
What mattered most right now was that his new babysitter—his uncle, Uchiha Fugaku—clearly had no idea how to take care of an infant less than a year old.
For example, today's milk powder was obviously at the wrong temperature. It might have been fine for an adult, but that clearly didn't apply to a baby. Fugaku, however, seemed completely unaware of this basic principle.
As a result, since he couldn't speak yet, Asahi decided to embrace the life of a brat and let his young uncle experience just how difficult things could be.
So, he took a small sip of today's milk powder.
Too little water. It was thick like rice paste—and scalding hot.
He pushed it off the baby table—
Smash!
Fugaku held his forehead.
"…Exactly which step went wrong?"
---
Since he had started teething, Asahi was gradually beginning to try solid food. Today's meal was minced noodles with tomato and egg. Fugaku carefully fed him one spoonful at a time using a tiny spoon.
Asahi thought it looked decent enough and decided to trust him again.
He took a bite—
And immediately spat it out.
For a portion half the size of an adult's palm, you added three spoonfuls of sugar?!
Asahi slammed the table with his tiny fists, angrily protesting in baby language.
What came out, however, was:
"Abba, abba…"
Fugaku blinked in surprise and tasted it himself.
"The flavor isn't wrong… Why are you so picky? My brother used to love the tomato miso soup I made…"
---
Aside from eating and sleeping, now that he had grown a bit and learned to crawl, Asahi's daily routine gained a new activity:
Exploring the map.
Crawl, crawl, crawl…
He successfully made it out of the living room and charged toward a new area—the courtyard.
However, every time, Uchiha Fugaku would heartlessly return him to the starting point: the "safe" living room.
After repeated failures, Asahi let out a sharp, explosive cry.
"Iya iya yo…!"
Do you know how hard I'm working? Do you know how boring being a baby is? Staring at this nearly empty living room every day is giving me aesthetic fatigue!
(The extra furniture had all been removed to prevent him from bumping into anything.)
Faced with his nephew's baby talk, Fugaku simply lifted him by the hips and weighed him in his hands.
"He's quite sturdy. Very lively. Good energy."
Asahi struggled, cursing internally.
---
"He's almost one year old. Is it time for him to start learning how to speak?"
Asahi ignored him.
Wasn't this guy supposed to be quiet in the anime? Why was he so talkative as a kid?
"O—ji—san," Fugaku repeated patiently, over and over.
Asahi gave him a look—
'Caring for the mentally challenged.jpg'
Fugaku frowned.
Why did that expression look exactly like one of his colleagues?
Eventually, perhaps out of pity, Asahi obediently repeated:
"Ojisan."
Clearer and more concise than Fugaku's drawn-out version.
"Zhu, you're a genius! You'll definitely become an outstanding Uchiha in the future!"
Asahi gave him the same look again.
He couldn't help but think:
Why are you so generous with praise now, but later can't even say a kind word to your own sons? Do all Uchiha become more tsundere as they grow older?
---
If the daytime was Fugaku tormenting Asahi with his cooking, then nighttime was Asahi's revenge.
To better care for his elder brother's only bloodline—and due to Asahi's important half-noble heritage—Fugaku didn't arrange a separate nursery. Instead, he had Asahi sleep beside him on a thick tatami mat.
As everyone knows, babies get hungry every few hours.
Even with an adult soul, Asahi couldn't resist the sharp, gnawing hunger that came in waves.
Moreover, his appetite was clearly larger than that of a normal child. If Fugaku's milk preparation weren't so sloppy and his cooking so bizarre, Asahi wouldn't have just eaten the bare minimum to avoid hunger.
Normally, babies cry when they're hungry.
But Asahi was different.
He sat up, "charging power."
Dear Uncle—receive my slap of love!
Smack!
Fugaku woke up instantly.
"…Milk."
Resigned, Fugaku got up to prepare it.
After drinking, Asahi went right back to sleep—leaving Fugaku alone to question his life choices.
This happened at least twice every night.
---
After a month or two of this, Asahi hadn't gained much weight—
But Fugaku had clearly grown haggard.
He even looked thinner.
---
Perhaps because of his exhausted appearance, when Fugaku recently returned to work, many colleagues expressed concern—including his good friend, Minato Namikaze.
"Is raising a child really this complicated?" Fugaku muttered.
Zhu hadn't gained weight at all these past months. For a perfectionist Uchiha, this was an absolute disgrace.
"If it's childcare, I have plenty of experience," Minato said confidently.
---
Thus, the responsibility was temporarily handed over to a meticulous girl—Uchiha Mikoto—under the guise of a D-rank mission within the clan. Of course, after work, Asahi would still return to Fugaku's care.
Despite everything, Fugaku remained stubbornly devoted, rushing home every day to take care of his nephew.
Whether the child appreciated it… was another matter.
---
"Zhu doesn't cry or fuss, but he ignores me… and eats very little of what I make," Fugaku said, troubled.
"Don't worry," Minato replied confidently. "Whenever Senior White Fang goes on missions, he entrusts Kakashi to me."
---
At sunset, while Asahi was happily "chatting" with Mikoto—
Fugaku arrived with Minato.
"Lord Fugaku, Lord Minato, I'll be leaving now. Zhu, see you tomorrow!" Mikoto gently poked Asahi's cheek before leaving.
Asahi turned his head—
And saw a famous blond teenager.
Minato Namikaze—confirmed.
---
"Oh? So you're Uchiha Zhu. You've been quite famous lately!" Minato picked him up and playfully teased him with an unsharpened kunai.
Asahi stared at him with dead fish eyes.
Nope. Not cooperating today.
Minato awkwardly smiled.
"Why is this kid so similar to Kakashi?"
---
That night, Minato quickly discovered the problem:
Everything Fugaku made—
Was too sweet.
"Infant food should be light. Just keep the natural flavor," Minato explained.
Fugaku was devastated.
So that was the issue…
---
Minato demonstrated proper preparation and made a fresh egg custard.
This time, Asahi obediently ate.
Fugaku's and Asahi's opinion of Minato skyrocketed instantly.
---
Before leaving, Minato even handed over a set of "Kakashi Care Guidelines."
After witnessing Minato's skills firsthand, Fugaku finally accepted it.
When Minato left, both Fugaku and Asahi saw him off—
A rare, high-level courtesy from the Uchiha.
---
That night, lying on the bed—
Asahi poked Fugaku's face.
Better enjoy it now. Who knows if he'll still look this good later?
"Fugaku… get along with Minato," Asahi suddenly said.
It was his first full sentence.
Fugaku was overjoyed.
---
Soon after, when Asahi turned one and the Takama-ga-hara supplies were nearly gone—
Another shipment arrived.
Along with it…
A large collection of girls' clothing.
---
"Throw them away," Asahi said coldly.
"…We can't," Fugaku replied helplessly. "It's just for show."
"I won't wear them."
"…Just occasionally."
"…Invite Minato for dinner."
"Deal."
---
And so—
Under Fugaku's assistance, Asahi reluctantly tried on a miniature kimono.
---
That evening, Minato returned—
Bringing along Kakashi Hatake.
---
The moment Kakashi was placed beside him, the two babies locked eyes—
Both with identical dead fish expressions.
---
While the adults went to cook—
Asahi slowly moved.
One step.
Another.
---
And just as Kakashi realized something was wrong—
A scream echoed.
---
To be continued…