My stomach growled so loudly it sounded like a dragon trapped inside me.
I tried to complain like a responsible adult…
What came out was a thin, dramatic baby cry.
I cried.
A lot.
Probably more than necessary.
Until I felt large, slightly rough hands picking me up.
The man said something in a language I didn't understand, but his expression was easy to read.
Pure happiness.
Pride.
Affection.
And that's when I looked at him properly.
Long, shining blonde hair. Deep green eyes. A face so perfect it looked almost unreal. A slender build. Clothes that seemed to be made of woven leaves…
And pointed ears.
I sighed internally.
Great.
My father is an elf.
He carried me into another room, where a woman just as beautiful as him greeted us with a loving smile.
Blonde hair.
Green eyes.
Delicate features.
Clearly my mother.
And then she did what any mother would do.
And I, a 29-year-old man trapped inside the body of a newborn…
Was breastfed.
At first, I tried to maintain my dignity.
"I'm an adult. I've paid taxes. I've driven a car."
My body responded:
Don't care.
It was completely automatic. Instinct won. Dignity lost.
Full stomach.
Instant sleep.
Lights out.
I woke up later… doing something I'd rather not describe.
I tried to scream in outrage.
Another pathetic baby cry came out instead.
My father appeared within seconds.
What happened next was the most humiliating experience of my entire existence.
Yes.
I got my diaper changed.
If karma exists, it works fast.
While I was being cleaned like a fragile package, I tried to cheer myself up.
"It's fine. This world probably has magic. I'll secretly train and become the strongest mage alive."
Knowing my luck?
I'll probably discover magic doesn't even exist.
But now this is personal.
At moments like that, I could only think:
Why wasn't I a dedicated otaku?
Or at least a nerd who spends hours arguing about magic systems on internet forums?
That would've been useful right now.
I remembered a few scattered things. Fragments from anime and stories I'd watched casually:
"Feel the mana flowing through your body…"
"Guide the energy through your meridians…"
"Expel impurities…"
"Form a magical core…"
That was how it worked, right?
Of course, there was always that annoying part I ignored:
"There is risk."
"You may damage your mana channels."
"Your body might explode from the inside."
"You might die."
Minor details.
And now here I was.
An elf baby.
No instruction manual.
No tutorial window.
No floating status screen.
I closed my eyes in the vine-woven cradle and tried to "feel the mana."
I felt hungry.
I tried again.
I felt sleepy.
I concentrated as hard as I could.
I felt…
gas.
Maybe I should've paid more attention to those anime.
Still, if magic existed in this world, I would find it.
Even if it meant trial, error, and possibly a small internal explosion.
I mean… what's the worst that could happen?
Actually, never mind.
Don't answer that.
I kept trying to sense the so-called mana in the air.
Nothing.
No mystical glow.
No vibrating energy.
No ancient voice choosing me as the heir to forgotten power.
Just… air.
I took a deep breath.
Okay. Think.
Remember something useful.
"Visualize the energy."
"Focus on your center."
"Empty your mind."
Great.
Meditation.
The only remotely applicable thing I had ever tried in my life—and only because an app promised to "reduce stress in seven days or your stress back."
I closed my eyes again in the vine cradle.
Breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Ignore the background crying of my own existence.
Focus.
I tried imagining a light inside me.
A small glowing point in my abdomen.
A magical core forming.
Nothing.
I imagined energy entering through my pores.
Nothing.
I imagined that I was special.
Absolutely nothing.
Until…
For a brief second…
I felt something different.
A lightness.
A faint warmth in my chest.
My heart started racing.
THIS IS IT.
I'VE AWAKENED.
I knew it! I'm a reincarnated genius!
The warmth grew stronger.
My body felt strange.
A pressure building inside me…
And then—
Prrrrft.
Silence.
…I had farted.
My father appeared at the door, looking worried.
I stared at the ceiling in defeat.
Maybe the path to spiritual enlightenment is longer than anime makes it look.
So I decided to change strategies.
Clearly, "feeling mana" wasn't working.
Maybe I was thinking too much like a human. If I was an elf now, maybe I needed to act like one.
Or at least pretend to.
Instead of trying to suck energy out of the air like a broken spiritual vacuum cleaner, I decided to simply observe.
Stay quiet.
Listen.
Feel the environment without forcing anything.
If magic existed, maybe it was hidden in simple things.
I closed my eyes again.
Breathed slowly.
Focused on the sounds around me.
The wind passing through leaves.
A distant bird singing.
And then…
I felt something.
It was… subtle.
Like a faint vibration on my skin.
My heart started pounding.