Minutes passed as the previously cold muzzle slowly grew in warmth, pressed against the side of the young man's skull.[1]
The words spoken some time ago continued to echo throughout his mind, while he pondered on the reality that he might actually die today. Gut wrenching words, spoken by the drunken father, just moments before he grabbed his pistol and forced the boy to kneel.
"You're the reason me and my daughter are suffering. God knows, you.. you should've never been born. Days like these I wish that I would do it... just pull the trigger and forget I ever had you.."
The father continued speaking past that, mostly cursing and making absurd correlations between the child's existence and his own, past mistakes, but none of it registered. Instead it was the initial sentence and the unusual situation he found himself in, that* occupied all of the young man's attention.
Unsettling thoughts continued to scramble and bounce against the fragile confines of his mind for some time, until he eventually began to calm. The initial panic dissolved into a numb sense of apathy, as he grew increasingly detached from the situation and the threat of death looming beside his head.
When this happened, he cautiously lifted his head to discover that the older man's eyes had grown vacant and dull. Rage no longer filled them and perhaps as a result, the father had stopped rambling on about the past.
In fact, he had stopped speaking altogether, instead appearing languid as he stared at the empty space between the young man and the window behind him.
Seeing this, the boy thought that perhaps the other man had also calmed down and would release him soon. After all, this wasn't the first time he mistreated his child, and the child did not expect it to be the last.
Throughout the years, since the death of their mother, the father would often go on tangents when drunk. He would hold the children hostage and harass them for some time before letting them go when he got tired of seeing their faces. Sometimes these moments included violence or verbal abuse directed at the older brother, but never to this degree.
Perhaps it was a new milestone? Threatening his only son with a pistol.
At least that's what the young man named David began to wonder while the decrepit grandfather clock resting in a corner of the old, musty apartment, kept ticking.
*Tick*
If so, it was probably nearing it's end now.
*Tock*
The clock followed closely the slow passage of time yet as soon as he noticed its existence, it required only a moment to begin sounding out in tandem with his heart, of which he was made aware of every beat.
*Thud* *-tock*
More time passed in this eerie atmosphere and David began to think of his little sister. She had recently turned 11 and was very fond of her older brother. They were technically only half-siblings but given that they were raised by the same man, she'd come to rely on him greatly.
*Thud*
He proceeded to think of what would happen to her if he really died here. He wondered what she would think, feel, and how it would affect her for years to come.
*-tock*
This was not the first time he had thought of her as he got closer to death, but it was the first time someone else was in this much control of his fate.
*Thu-..*
... as David thought of his sister, he realized that he hadn't seen her since returning home.
Perhaps she managed to escape during the initial chaos that occurred when he was shoved across the room? If so, he hoped that she had gone outside.
She would be freezing in the winter cold, while waiting for her brother to come find her and tell her that she'll be alright.. but at least she wouldn't have witnessed the ongoing events.
Or so he thought, before he was interrupted by the voice of the wretched father,
"I don't want you, no one does. You're no ones child."
A simple sentence, yet the intentions behind it were all but clear to the boy who expected liberation.
David quickly turned to look at his tormentor, whose face was now contorted in malice, but before he could respond a series of heavy thuds sounded out from the door across the hall from the kitchen, where he was being held.
A few seconds passed in anticipation as the worn-out hinges became looser with each thud, and finally the old door was smashed open.
On the other side and looking in with his gun drawn stood an officer, and hiding behind his back, David's sister, whose small body was trembling in fear.
David turned his head to face them and saw the officer, an old man with an unwavering gaze full of sympathy, before locking eyes with his little sister and witnessing the depths of pain held within them.
He recognized it as the pain of a child who did not yet understand- the suffering of a child forced to grow up too soon. The unique, unfiltered agony experienced only by the most innocent and understood only by those who have known it themselves.
As David began to suffocate in the excruciating guilt which followed this realization, he heard "dad" speak once more. This time the old man's voice was utterly devoid of emotion, carrying with it only the sense of despair that follows abandonment of life and the will to live.
"Ah... aaah. You.. look what you've ma-"
And with that, reality fractured and everything came to a halt.
His father's voice, the image of his sister's tearful eyes beseeching him to be okay, and not even a split second later- his ability to think.
Then, there was nothing.
[1] THIS IS A WARNING: This novel will contain a lot of violence and graphic descriptions. It may also include darker themes such as torture and self-harm, references to sexual violence, children getting hurt, and much more. There are limits to what I'll write but not necessarily to what I'll insinuate. Reader discretion is advised. Thank you, and take care.