CHAPTER ONE
I never knew it would come to this.
The pain in my chest was heavier than I ever imagined. It felt like something inside me had collapsed, leaving behind nothing but an empty echo.
Is this still me... or am I already dead inside?
I feel nothing anymore. No love. No hate. Just a hollow silence where emotions used to live.
People say the pressure on a girl can break her—bend her until there's nothing left.
I was just an innocent girl once, living a quiet, peaceful life... until everything fell apart.
Why was I broken at such a young age?
I never meant to kill her.
She took everything from me.
Does that make me a monster... for feeling nothing when my sister Tracy died?
Tracy and I were the only children my parents had.
Just the two of us.
Until cancer took her away from us.
I was twelve years old.
The pain of losing a mother... it never really leaves you.
At school, they mocked me for it—for being different from Tracy. She was everything people admired. Beautiful. Confident. Perfect.
And I was the opposite.
"The ugly monk," they called me.
I learned to stay quiet.
Invisible.
The bell rang that afternoon, and I was heading to my history class when I saw him.
A boy walked past me.
Handsome.
Perfect.
And just like that... my heart betrayed me.
His scent lingered faintly in the air as he passed. His eyes were calm, almost distant, and his face looked too perfect to be real—like something carefully designed.
Everything about him felt... intentional.
And for the first time in a long time—
I felt something.
By the end of that day, I had already found out everything about him.
His name was Devin Dawson.
From the Dawson family—a powerful, wealthy family everyone knew about.
That night, I went home with two things on my mind.
My first crush.
And something I had been waiting to celebrate.
"I won, Mum," I said, trying to hide my excitement.
"I won the spelling bee."
She turned to me with a soft smile—tired, but warm.
"I'm so proud of you, Brooke," she said gently.
Her voice was weaker than usual.
She had been coughing a lot these past few weeks.
At first, we thought it was nothing.
Just a small illness.
But it never really stopped.
"Mum, are you okay?" I asked quietly.
"I'm fine," she replied quickly, brushing it off. "Just a little cough."
Then she turned to Tracy.
"Tracy, how are your studies going?"
Tracy smiled. "I'm doing well, Mum."
For a moment, everything felt normal again.
Then suddenly—
My mum started coughing.
At first, it was light.
Then it got worse.
Violent.
Her body shook as the coughing wouldn't stop.
"Mum?" I said, stepping closer.
Then I saw it.
Blood.
My heart dropped.
"Mum—!"
"Brooke, get help now!" Tracy shouted.
"Dad!" I screamed, running toward the phone.
My hands trembled as I dialed his number.
He picked up almost immediately.
"Dad... Dad... Mum is bleeding... please come!" I cried.
"I'm on my way," he said quickly.
Everything after that felt like a blur.
We rushed her to the hospital.
Doctors surrounded her, voices overlapping, machines beeping loudly as they placed an oxygen mask over her face.
I stood there, frozen.
Terrified.
"Tracy... is Mum going to be okay?" I whispered.
Before she could answer, a doctor walked out.
His expression said everything.
"Doctor... please... is she okay?" Tracy begged, grabbing his arm.
The doctor hesitated.
Then he spoke.
"I'm so sorry," he said quietly. "She had advanced lung cancer. It spread faster than expected... we couldn't save her."
The world stopped.
"No... no... where is my mum? I want to see her... please..." I said, my voice breaking.
My father collapsed into tears.
Tracy cried beside me.
But I couldn't hear them.
My chest tightened. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it would explode.
"Brooke... Brooke!"
Their voices sounded far away.
Everything blurred.
And then—
Darkness.
When I woke up, something was covering my face.
A mask.
I was in a hospital bed.
My vision slowly cleared. Figures stood around me, dressed in blue and green, their faces hidden.
Then I saw them.
My dad.
And Tracy.
"Oh thank God you're awake, Brooke," Tracy said.
I wanted to respond.
But the pain in my chest wouldn't let me.
A few days later, I was discharged.
My best friend never came to see me.
She only called Tracy.
That hurt more than I expected.
When I got home, everything felt... wrong.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
For a moment, I almost called out—
"Mum..."
But the word died in my throat.
She wasn't there anymore.
Tracy gently led me to my room.
And then I saw it.
A picture of my mum.
And I broke.
Tears fell uncontrollably, like something inside me had shattered beyond repair.
"It's okay, Brooke," Tracy whispered, holding me. "Everything will be alright."
But I kept calling for my mum.
Like any child would.
Even though deep down...
I already knew the truth.
She wasn't coming back.
And from that day on...
My life became a living hell.